


Where We Can Be Safe

by geekymoviemom



Series: What If? [3]
Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Book 3: Mockingjay, F/M, Parents Katniss Everdeen & Peeta Mellark, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-09-20 11:48:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 125,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9489800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geekymoviemom/pseuds/geekymoviemom
Summary: Reunited in District Thirteen, Katniss and Peeta must take their place as the faces of the new revolution against the Capitol.  But, as in the Capitol, things in Thirteen aren't always as they appear.  Mockingjay AU and sequel to By Your Side.





	1. Recovered

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first chapter to the sequel to By Your Side! If you haven't yet read that story you may want to start there, although it's not absolutely necessary in order to follow this one. :). This story is M-rated. I have a T-rated version posted elsewhere, please let me know if you would like that link. :)
> 
> About five weeks have passed since the last chapter of By Your Side. 
> 
> I do not own the characters of The Hunger Games, they are owned by Suzanne Collins. Occasionally, I will borrow lines of dialogue and small scenes from the original trilogy. No plagiarism is intended.

KPOV

I sit on the edge of my hospital bed, waiting for the burn specialist to come in and take me to remove the final bandages from my arms and chest. They removed all of the tubes and wires about a week ago when I was finally able to eat enough to support both my still-healing self and the baby I'm carrying. The thick bandages that had covered my arm burns were replaced about three weeks ago with beige-colored pressure garments that took two people almost twenty minutes to put on me, and caused my hands to tingle constantly. But today I get to have those removed too.

Peeta's off in physical therapy right now. He amazed the doctors when he arrived with how sick he really was and didn't realize it. He was anemic, which was explained as his body wasn't producing enough of some kind of cells in his blood to keep him healthy. The anemia, along with the stress of watching me in the Quell and his too-short prosthetic, contributed to him developing such a deep infection in the stump of his leg that he had to undergo four of the same type of treatments that I had for my burns. At first the doctors thought that they would need to amputate more of his leg, but the scraping treatments along with lots of strong antibiotics worked in the end, so no surgery was needed at least.

And yet, I don't think I ever saw his smile waver hardly at all. Even when they had to give him a blood transfusion and then an iron infusion, he never complained. Even when his face flushed red and the skin on his entire body started to itch uncontrollably during the iron infusion, he never got upset. He just laid there, holding my hand in the bed next to him and staring at my face. He insisted that we share a room and that our beds be right next to each other so we could at least touch each other, since the doctors had put their foot down on us sharing a bed while in the ICU.

The happiest I've seen him is when they examined the baby. I'm almost fourteen weeks now and they did a test they called an ultrasound, where they rubbed a cold and sticky gel on my stomach and then used some sort of a wand to see the baby inside me. We could see the baby's head and arms and legs, even his face. They even printed off some pictures for us to keep, and I catch Peeta looking at them several times a day.

Up until now they hadn't had a new prosthesis for Peeta to use, so he's been hobbling around on crutches the whole time he's been here. But Beetee had promised to make him a new one which was just finished today, so he's off in physical therapy learning how to walk again with his new leg.

The door to our room swings open, startling me out of my thoughts. "Are you ready, Miss Eve-, I mean, Mrs. Mellark?" the doctor says.

"Just call me Katniss, it might be easier," I tell him as I ease off the bed and follow him down the hall into the treatment room. If I never see this place again it'll be too soon. I sit down on the bench in the center of the room and hold out my arms. The doctor and one of the physical therapists carefully peel the pressure garments down and off of my arms and then examine them closely, moving them this way and that, making sure that my range of motion is okay. Apparently satisfied, they stand back.

"Well, that's all we can do for you," the doctor says. "I don't see why you can't be discharged today."

"I only want to leave if Peeta is okay to leave too," I say. The doctor glances at the physical therapist.

"Actually, I just came from working with your husband," he says. "And I don't see why he can't be discharged as well, as long as he still continues with the PT for a few more sessions. He did remarkably well on his first day with a brand-new prosthesis."

I actually think he just can't wait to get out of the hospital, and I really can't blame him. We haven't had a chance to really be alone yet and he's been here for five weeks already.

"Why don't you stay here and I'll get a nurse to bring you some regular clothes?" the therapist says. "I'll bet you're tired of wearing hospital gowns?"

I nod vigorously. "Yes, thank you," I tell him as he and the doctor leave the room. I sit down on the chair in the corner to wait, and in a few minutes nurse O'Connor knocks once and enters the room with a pile of grey clothing, along with a pair of white panties and a white bra.

"I know these pants probably won't fit you for very long," she says as I take the pile from her. "But it seems like all of the maternity pants are in storage somewhere.  But they should be able to find them by the time you outgrow these, so you can switch them out when you're ready."

"Thanks," I say quietly. The pants and shirt that she hands me are both grey twill and look faded, like they've been washed hundreds of times. They probably have actually. I wonder who wore these things before me.

"I'll leave you to get dressed then," she says. "Just come on back to your room when you're done, I think Peeta is back from PT now."

"All right," I tell her. She nods once and leaves the room. I walk over to the wall where the mirror is hanging and pull the hospital gown over my head, and then gasp in horror at my reflection.

I'd managed to avoid looking directly at my arms the entire time I've been here in Thirteen, and as I study my reflection in the mirror I feel like I don't even recognize myself. My arms are covered with raised, angry-looking scars, varying in color from my normal olive skin tone to pale pink to darker pink. There's no pattern to them at all. It looks like pieces of flesh were just stretched over open wounds and left to hold on. I tentatively run my fingertips over my left arm and it feels bumpy, not at all like it used to feel. My chest is a little better, but not much, as the raised and lumpy scars there extend all the way up to the start of my neck. The mutt fire burned only my exposed skin, so at least my breasts were spared, but even so...

"I look horrible," I whisper to my reflection, tears pooling in my eyes and spilling over down my face. Peeta will be revolted. There's no way he'll ever want to touch me again. I quickly turn away from the mirror and grab my new underclothes. I've never really worn bras before, as my breasts weren't really big enough to need one and I always preferred the comfort of my camisoles. But the pregnancy has made them grow a little, and apparently they don't have camisoles here, so I guess I'll have to get used to wearing one. I quickly pull on the rest of the clothes and scrub at my eyes before leaving the room. If Peeta sees that I've been crying he'll want to know why.

Peeta's sitting on the edge of his bed when I enter the room, already dressed in his own grey clothes. "Hey beautiful!" he says happily when he sees me. His sweet words hit me like a punch to the gut.

"Hey yourself," I manage to say, willing myself to smile at him, trying to act as normal as possible, but he doesn't miss a thing.

"What's wrong?" he asks me, his brow furrowed with concern now and his blue eyes staring intently into mine.

I shake my head. "Nothing," I say quietly. I force myself to smile again. "I'm just looking forward to getting out of here."

He hops off the bed and wraps his arms around me, pulling me close. "Me too," he whispers in my ear. "Did you know today is our wedding anniversary?"

No, I didn't. "It is?" I say, feeling a pang of guilt for not keeping better track of what day it is. Of course he would know though.

His arms tighten around me. "Yep," he says. "And I can't wait till we can be alone."

Just then Prim walks into the room, saving me from having to reply. She's dressed in her medical apprentice uniform and smiles at the two of us before handing Peeta a printed piece of paper with a card clipped to it.

"The next few appointments for both of you are printed on here," she says proudly. "Peeta with physical therapy and you with the maternity doctor and Mom. And there's also a card here for you to give the cafeteria people to get the serving sizes that you need, Katniss. Mom thinks you haven't gained enough weight yet."

Both my mother and Prim were absorbed quickly into the medical staff rotations here in Thirteen. My mother, with her experience as the unofficial midwife for the Seam for the past several years, has been especially useful. Since my pregnancy is the first successful one that they've had here in over eight years, they've forgotten a lot on how to treat a pregnant woman.

"Thank you Prim," I say as I give her a hug. I'm so proud of my little sister.

"Ah, here they are," another voice says from the doorway. It's Plutarch Heavensbee, along with Commander Boggs. "Ready to go? I've been asked to escort you both to your new quarters, but we need to make a stop in Command first."

Peeta frowns and puts his arm around my waist. "Right now?" he says. "We've just barely been discharged, and-"

"President Coin has asked to meet with you first," Boggs says firmly. He gestures to the door. "This way."

Peeta takes my hand as Boggs leads us down a series of corridors and up ten levels to the Command Center. I'm not sure how I'll ever get used to finding my way around this place when all of the hallways look exactly the same. We reach a red door marked COMMAND and Boggs knocks twice before opening it and indicating for us to enter.

A long, grey, rectangular table sits in the middle of the room, with something that looks like a white chalkboard lining one wall, and several television monitors lining another. President Coin is sitting there, along with Gale of all people, who I haven't seen at all in the whole time he's been here. Even Peeta looks surprised to see him.

"Gale, it's nice to see you," Peeta says kindly as he pulls out my chair for me. Gale nods in our direction and turns his attention back to President Coin as Boggs and Plutarch take their chairs.

Never one for pleasantries, Coin gets right down to business. "So," she says in her even voice that always sounds like she's irritated but trying to hide it. "Since the two of you are finally recovered now, it's time for us to put our plans into motion."

Peeta's brow furrows. "What plans are those?"

"We need the two of you to take your place as the faces of this revolution," Coin says. "I want to get you two out there as much as possible before your condition," and she looks right at me, "makes it difficult."

I feel my cheeks flush with anger through the scowl that appears on my face. Peeta notices and grabs my hand under the table.

"That's our baby you're referring to," he says firmly to Coin. I see a look of shock pass over Gale's face. "Our baby is not a 'condition' that must be worked around."

"Nevertheless," Plutarch cuts in. "We don't want to be seen as the people who are sending pregnant women out into combat." He starts to chuckle. "That would be something the Capitol would do."

"Before we agree to anything," I say. "I want to see District 12, for myself." Now it's Peeta's turn to look shocked.

"Katniss," he says, a look of concern clouding his blue eyes. "I'm not sure that's the best idea right now."

"I need to see it!" I cry, startling Peeta. I clear my throat and start again, squeezing his hand. "I need to see it, and I want you to come with me." Then I look Coin straight in the eye. "Before we agree to anything, I want us to see what the Capitol did to Twelve."

Plutarch, Boggs, and Coin start whispering to each other. I can feel Gale's dark grey eyes boring into my skull, but I deliberately avoid looking at him, concentrating instead on studying the tabletop and Peeta's thumb rubbing soothing circles on my hand. I know what Gale is thinking right now, but I honestly don't care.

"All right then," Coin finally says. "You leave for Twelve tomorrow at 0800 from the main hangar. Don't be late." And with that statement, she checks the printed schedule on her arm and sweeps out of the room. Gale stands up and looks down at us one more time, before he too leaves without a word.

"All right, now that's settled! "Plutarch exclaims, clapping his hands. "Let's show you to your quarters then?"

Peeta holds onto my elbow as I get up from the chair, then takes my hand again as we follow Boggs and Plutarch into another elevator and then along more maze-like corridors before arriving in the residential section. The door to our new living compartment slides open to reveal a small, studio room with a lofted double bed in one corner, a door that leads to the small bathroom, and a single loveseat in the center. There's also a few cabinets and a small table with two chairs against one wall, but that's it for furnishings. "I put you two doors down from your brother and his wife," Boggs says to Peeta. "And the Everdeens are two doors down the other way. And Johanna will be next door to them, once she's able to leave the hospital." Johanna, who was severely injured by Brutus at the end of the Quell before she was able to kill him, is still recovering from her badly broken leg, although due to be discharged very soon.

"And Finnick and Beetee are across the hall and down a little," Plutarch says. "Although Beetee ends up sleeping in his lab most nights anyway, so he's not around all that much. I think Finnick prefers it that way actually."

Just then something beeps on Boggs' wrist. He glances at it quickly and heads for the door. "I need to go," he says. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"And I'll be there to see you off tomorrow morning," Plutarch says as he too moves to leave. "Enjoy your evening!"

As soon as the door slides shut behind him Peeta grabs me around my waist and his lips move down to claim my own. "I intend to enjoy the evening," he whispers against my lips. I try respond to his kiss with the same enthusiasm, but my mind can't erase the image of those horrible-looking scars now littering my body. Then the horn sounds, indicating the start of the evening meal. Peeta pulls away and winks at me. "We'll continue this later," he says. "Let's go feed my baby."

"Okay," I say breathlessly, probably a little too quickly, but he doesn't seem to notice.

He holds my hand again as we make our way slowly down the hall, getting our bearings as we go. We manage to only make two wrong turns before arriving at the cafeteria.

"Katniss! Peeta! Over here!" Rye Mellark's booming voice rings out across the room when he spots us, causing everyone else in the cafeteria to stop eating and look up. Rye's sitting at a table with Gale and Madge. I see the rest of Gale's family at the table next to them. Mom and Prim must still be working.

"It's so good to see you both back on your feet again!" Madge says kindly as we sit down at the table with our trays. She and Rye had visited us several times in the hospital, but lately have been quite busy themselves. Rye was placed, much to his chagrin, into one of the baking rotations in the kitchens, while Madge has been working with the district liaisons from several of the districts that have revolted, trying to set up standards for maintaining an appropriate level of government during wartime.

"It's great to finally be out of the hospital," Peeta replies. "We were both starting to go a little stir-crazy in there."

"Gale tells us you're heading back to Twelve tomorrow morning," Rye says, looking more serious. "Can I ask why?"

"I just need to see it," I mumble. "President Coin wasn't happy about it, but she finally agreed to let us go."

Gale still hasn't said a word to either of us since we sat down, but I can feel him looking at me as I eat my meal. Finally, I give up trying to ignore him and look him straight in the eye. "Just go ahead and say it," I snap. Peeta looks surprised, but Gale stares right back at me through narrowed eyes.

"A baby?" he finally says, spitting the word out like it's poison. "Really? Miss-I'm-never-having-kids is actually pregnant? And just how did this happen?"

There's a few seconds of awkward silence as we glare at each other, until Peeta clears his throat. "I really don't think it's any of-"

Suddenly Rye bursts out laughing, breaking a little of the tension. "Hawthorne, if you don't know by now how babies are made, I think you need to have a talk with your Momma," he chortles, clapping Gale on the shoulder. "Although for how, ahem, busy you were in school, I would think you'd be well aware of how those things work."

"Oh, like you should talk," Gale retorts right back at Rye, but it doesn't stop Rye from laughing even harder at the redness crawling up Gale's cheeks. "What I meant was, why did this happen?" Gale says, glaring at Peeta now. Peeta glares right back at him.

Rye lets out another loud peal of laughter, causing Peeta to roll his eyes and Gale to scowl so hard that he looks dangerous. "Really?" Rye says, barely able to talk with how hard he's laughing. "They're in love! They're married! Marriage often leads to children! I thought you were smarter than that!"

But the joke is apparently lost on Gale as he gathers up his tray and stands up. "Never mind," he snaps as he stomps away.

"What's he so sensitive about?" Rye asks once he's calmed down a little.

"I told him once that I never wanted kids," I say quietly. I feel Peeta squeeze my hand. "But I changed my mind."

"It's none of his business anyway," Peeta says, looking at me with that fierce, possessive look in his eyes.

"Anyway," Madge says, changing the subject. "Let me tell you what I've been having to deal with lately..." and she launches into a detailed description of how different the views are on government in the various districts, depending on the districts' main trades, population, etc. She's obviously very passionate about her work, but I can tell Peeta is getting impatient after a while.

"I think we'll head out now," he says when Madge finally pauses. "Katniss gets tired pretty easily still and we have an early morning tomorrow."

"Hmm," Rye says as he picks up his and Madge's tray. "Isn't it also your wedding anniversary today?" and he winks at us.

Peeta's face flushes red as he grabs my hand. "Um yeah, that too," he says hastily as he pulls me away. "See you guys later!"

"Have a good night!" Rye calls out as we leave the cafeteria. We can hear his boisterous laughter chasing us down all the way to the elevator.

But as we round the final corner that leads back to our quarters, I can feel my heart start to pound. Of course Peeta will want to make love tonight. We haven't been intimate at all, save for a few kisses in the hospital, since the night before the Quell reaping. But I fear he's going to be absolutely disgusted by what he sees under my grey twill shirt.

As I expect, Peeta wastes no time at all once the door to our room slides shut. He immediately wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into a kiss. The kiss, like many others that we've shared, starts out sweet. But then I feel his hands start to roam up and down my back, untucking the shirt from my pants, and I stiffen as soon as his warm hands touch my skin. Peeta notices right away.

"What is it, love?" he says sweetly, kissing the tip of my nose. "I know it's been a while, and I'll go slow if you want?"

Tears well up and spill down my cheeks. "It's not that," I choke out.

"Then what?" he says again. "Please tell me, you know you can tell me anything!" More tears force their way down my face as he looks down at me, never wavering in his concern and love for me.

"The fire," I sputter as I turn my head away. "It burned my body, and now...now my arms and my chest are covered in ugly scars. They're so ugly, Peeta. They're so ugly that I'm scared for you to see them."

Peeta pauses for a second, then lifts my chin with his hand so I can look at him. "Now you listen to me. I don't care how many scars you have, there is nothing, absolutely nothing in the world that could ever make me think that you are ugly, in any way. Those scars are not who you are, and I am in love with you."

More tears from spring to my eyes and roll down my cheeks at the look of absolute fierce adoration on his face, and those beautiful blue eyes that show nothing but love and want. But I find I still can't bring myself to relax just yet.

He seems to understand, because he lets go of my waist and takes my hand instead, moving us over to the small couch in the living area. "Come and sit down with me," he says. I sit down next to him and he lifts my legs over his lap, pulling me close. Then he gently, so gently, takes my right hand in his and brings it to his lips. As he lightly brushes his lips over my hand, I feel him wrap his other arm around my hips to pull me flush against him.

His fingers find the button on the cuff of my long sleeve. "Can I?" he asks. At my nod of assent, he undoes the button and rolls it up one time, revealing my wrist and the beginnings of my angry, pink scar. Then he kisses it. Those same soft, sweet kisses that he used on my hand. Once he's kissed his way up to the fabric he again rolls the sleeve, revealing more of my arm and the path that the fire took when it burned my skin. He kisses all around my arm, right over the scar, before continuing his way up my arm until the fabric is bunched up under my arm.

He looks at me, those azure eyes of his dilated with lust. He leans forward to kiss my lips, just a light brush of his lips against mine. Then he takes my left hand in his and kisses the ring on my finger, his lips so light they're almost tickling me. He kisses all around my hand, pausing again with his fingers over the button on my sleeve cuff. He looks down at me, and I nod.

As he rolls up my sleeve, covering virtually every inch of the skin of my arm with his lips, he looks at me again. His look of desire hasn't wavered at all. If anything, it's become more intense. As he finishes with my left arm he moves his lips back to mine, this time kissing me more firmly.

"You see?" he whispers when he pulls away. "You're beautiful, Katniss. No matter what."

Fat tears start to roll down my cheeks again. He brings his thumbs to my face and lightly catches each tear, brushing them gently from my skin. His eyes don't leave mine as he then slowly unbuttons his grey shirt and pulls it off, discarding it onto the hard, tile floor. Then he takes my hand and brings it around to his back, where I can feel some of the marks left behind by Thread's whip. "These scars don't bother you, do they?" he asks.

I shake my head. "No," I say, more tears streaming down my face. "They're just a part of you now."

Then he takes my hand again and pulls up his pant leg, placing my hand on the cool metal of his prosthesis. "And this? Has this ever bothered you?"

I shake my head again. "No, of course not. It's just a part of you too."

"And you love me?" he says. "You love all of me?"

"Yes, I love you. I love all of you."

Then Peeta brings his fingers to the buttons on my shirt and pauses, raising his eyebrow. I hesitate only a couple of seconds before nodding. He carefully undoes each button, gently pressing his lips to the exposed flesh of my chest after each one. His lips make no distinctions between my normal skin and the pink, angry, puckered skin that the fire left behind. He reaches the last button and then carefully slides the sleeves down and off of my arms. I see his eyes trail up and down my body and he licks his lips as his hands move to gently palm my breasts through my bra. A small but devilish grin appears on his face.

"These are a little bigger now," he says, sounding like he just discovered the world's largest supply of peppermint candies. I can't help but smile at him as he leans down to plant soft kisses over each of my nipples through the bra. His hands move to my back and he starts fumbling with the hooks. He manages to get the bra free after a few seconds and he slowly drags the straps down my arms, throwing it to join our shirts on the floor.

His fingertips gently run over my now bare chest and arms. "These scars aren't who you are," he whispers. He brings my hand back around to his back. "Just like these scars aren't who I am. This," and he brings my hand up to his chest, right over his heart. "This is who I am. And this," and he presses his palm against my chest, right over my heart. "This is who you are."

Then he brings his hand down to rest over my belly, which is just starting to round out a little bit. "And this, this is who we are. And I don't think it would be possible for me to love either one of you any more than I do right now."

Then those eyes, those eyes with the impossibly long eyelashes, those eyes that I think could bore right through me, they look right into mine with a look of such unconditional love and longing that I can't help it anymore. I throw my arms around his neck and bring my lips clumsily to his, any lingering trace of shame dissolving as soon as I feel his tongue running along my bottom lip. I open my mouth eagerly against his, feeling his warm tongue explore my mouth like he's never kissed me before. His arms carefully pull me flush against his chest as we break apart for air, both of us panting slightly.

"Bed," I manage to say against his neck. Peeta doesn't hesitate at all. He slides his arm under my knees and picks me up, bringing me carefully to the bed and laying me against the pillows. He pulls my shoes off and then brings one of his hands up to caress my cheek as the other hand moves to the button on my pants.

"You still have no idea, the effect you have on me," he whispers. His fingers manage to undo the button and zipper and he leans over to kiss my belly as he slides my pants and underwear down, tossing them onto the floor into the growing pile of clothing. Then he kicks off his own shoes and climbs up next to me. He leans off to one side as his hand starts tracing up and down my body, finally reaching my breast.

"They're a little sore," I whisper.

He nods as his hand gently grazes the underside of my slightly swollen mound. "I'll be careful." 

His lips find mine again as his palm covers my breast, his fingers very gently squeezing it before running over my nipple. I thread my hands into his hair as his lips kiss a trail down my jaw to my neck and over my chest until they reach the nipple, and I gasp as his warm mouth closes over my sensitive peak. His tongue is gentle as he lavishes it, moving across my chest to give the same attention to my other breast, being extra careful to avoid using his teeth. He kisses back up to my mouth as his hand moves down, over my sternum and down to my belly, before moving to the outside of my thigh. His fingers trace the outside of both of my thighs before moving to nudge my knees apart and retrace the pattern on the inside.

"Oh Katniss, you've never been this wet," he whispers in surprise as his hand slips easily into my soaking wet center.

"You have an effect on me too," I reply, gasping as his index finger finds my swollen and needy nerve bundle. My hand fumbles, trying to find his belt buckle as his fingers work over the sensitive nub. "Aahh, Peeta!" I cry out as I feel my fingers brush over his erection, straining against his pants. "I need you now!"

"It's been so long I won't last if you do that, and I want to make you come first," he growls, pushing my hand away from his belt. "I have missed watching you fall apart in my hands!" He slowly pushes two fingers inside me and his thumb rubs circles around my throbbing nub as his lips find that sweet spot on my neck, and it's only a few seconds before my entire lower body stiffens and I'm clenching around his fingers, chanting his name over and over.

I feel his lips sucking gently on my neck as his hand withdraws from my center to undo his belt buckle. He slides his pants and underwear down over his hips, sitting up briefly to get them completely off before laying down carefully on top of me, his rock-hard cock thrusting lightly but insistently on my inner thigh.

"Are you ready, Katniss," he asks, bringing one of my legs around his waist.

"Yes!" I pant out. "I need you!" He takes his cock in his hand and lines up the tip with my entrance, pushing into me slowly. But I'm impatient and grab onto his hips, pulling him into me until they are flush with mine.

"Oh God, I've missed you so much," he cries out as he lifts my other leg around him. "I've missed the feel of you so much!"

"Peeta," I rasp as he moves his hand underneath my hips, pulling me up as he thrusts into me. "Peeta, I love you!" His thrusts are becoming erratic already and I know he's getting close. I'm close too, but not quite there yet.

"Katniss!" he cries as his eyes squeeze shut. "You're too much, I'm sorry!" His climax overtakes him and he thrusts once, twice, three more times before going rigid above me. His head collapses onto my shoulder, still supporting most of his body weight on his forearms. I run my fingers up and down his scarred back, planting small kisses onto his shoulder and jawline.

"You didn't-" he starts to say, but I bring my fingers to his mouth to quiet him.

"Shhh, it's okay." I whisper. "Let's just go to sleep. It's been an exhausting day." I feel him nod against my shoulder as he slides out of me. He quickly detaches his prosthetic leg before grabbing the blanket to cover us.

"I love you, Katniss," he whispers as he pulls my back flush against his chest. "Happy Anniversary." Then he moves his hand to my belly and rests his palm there, kissing my cheek one more time before falling asleep.


	2. Visiting Twelve

PPOV

I'm awoken by the blaring of the horn signaling the start of the morning meal for our residential section. The meals here run in 45 minute shifts, and if you miss your shift you have to wait for the next meal, with exceptions only given under extreme circumstances.

I kiss Katniss on her bare shoulder before reluctantly sliding my arm out from underneath her. It was so wonderful to finally be able to share a bed with her again that I don't think either of us moved the entire night. My entire right arm is numb from her lying on it the whole time. I shake it to get some feeling back as I stroke her hair lightly with my left hand. I know she's awake, but she's trying to hide it. I lean down to kiss her neck. "It's time to get up," I whisper. "We have a busy day today."

"Mmmmm," she grumbles, pulling the blanket up to her forehead.

I kiss the top of her head before crawling off the bed and attaching my prosthetic. This new one is far less pretty than my old one, as Beetee only had the materials available from Thirteen to make it, but it fits me well and I can walk and run in it fine, so I don't really care what it looks like too much. I get the metallic leg fastened and then start pulling my clothes on. Black underwear, black socks, grey pants, grey shirt. In the drawers tucked under the lofted bed there's two more sets of clothes for each of us, all the exact same style and color as the set I'm wearing. Everything here is either white, black, or grey. The monotony and lack of color is almost painful for my artist eyes sometimes. I head into the bathroom to brush my teeth. Even our toothbrushes are grey.

Katniss still hasn't moved when I come out. "C'mon love, we need to go eat now," I whisper in her ear. "I don't want you missing any meals."

She finally opens her eyes and sits up. "I am hungry," she says as she starts pulling her own clothes on from the pile I picked up off the floor. She dresses quickly and brushes her teeth before braiding her hair back and pulling on her shoes. It takes her about six minutes from start to finish, which makes me chuckle a little. Her prep team would be appalled.

Rye and Madge are there again this morning, along with Finnick, but Gale's nowhere to be found. "Gale said he had a meeting in Command before you guys leave this morning," Rye says as we sit down. "He ate in a hurry and then took off."

"How'd he get so cozy with Command already?" Katniss asks between mouthfuls of the same porridge they serve every morning.

"I think the higher-ups here were impressed with how he got us out of Twelve when the bombs hit," Madge says. "He had all of us pretty well organized during the week we were stranded in the woods, which is just the kind of thing that I'm trying to accomplish in some of the other districts."

I feel Katniss's small hand find my leg under the table and squeeze it. "Well, I'm very glad that he did," she says quietly. "None of you would be alive otherwise."

Finnick hasn't said a word since we sat down. I haven't seen him actually eat anything off his tray either. Katniss notices this as well.

"Finnick," she says, gently putting her hand on his arm. "Starving yourself won't bring Annie back right now. She wouldn't want that for you."

Finnick chuckles in a morbid sort of way, picking up a spoonful of the porridge from his bowl and letting it drop back in. "What I wouldn't give for some of those oysters we had in the arena right about now, hey Katniss?" he says. Katniss scowls at the mention of the arena but says nothing. "At least you knew where they came from. Not like this stuff. I mean, what even is this?"

I open my mouth to reply but he cuts me off. "You know what President Coin said, when I asked if she and her military could send someone to rescue Annie? Huh? Do you know what she said?" He looks right at me.

"No," I say quietly, shaking my head and dreading the answer.

He chuckles again. "She said, that it wasn't a priority for her to rescue Annie. That one person wasn't more important than the cause." He slams his hand down hard against the tabletop, causing Madge and Katniss to jump. "Unless it's the right person, of course," and he looks right at Katniss. "Coin doesn't care, that I don't give a damn about her cause while Annie's in the Capitol, and Snow's doing who knows what to her! Annie's fragile! She won't be able to take much of anything... if someone doesn't get her out of there soon, there won't be much left of her to rescue."

Then he pushes his tray away as he stands up, pulling a short length of rope from his back pocket as he picks up the tray and walks away.

"I wish there was something we could do to help him," I say to Katniss. "I feel like I owe him. He saved you multiple times in that Quell arena." Katniss bites her lip and nods.

"It's not right what Coin said about Annie," she agrees. "Finnick can hardly function right now, I'm not sure what Coin thinks he's going to be able to accomplish with Annie held prisoner."

I wrap my arm around her waist. "I think I can understand how Finnick feels. I sure didn't know what to do with myself when you were gone." Katniss leans her head against my shoulder.

"Maybe we could talk to him? At least let him know that we can empathize with him, it has to be better than nothing," Katniss says.

I kiss the top of her head. "Let's make some time for that tomorrow," I tell her.

Rye guides the conversation back to lighter topics until the horn sounds again, indicating the end of our breakfast shift. Rye groans as he stands up, gathering up his and Madge's trays.

"I really wish they would assign me somewhere else," he says as we walk over to the conveyor belt to deposit the trays. "I'm so tired of baking. Especially here with the ingredients that they have to work with. Some of the grain is so rough we have to grind it five times before we can actually use it!"

"Hmph," Katniss says next to me. "Sounds a lot like tesserae grain."

Rye's eyes widen and he winces. "Katniss," he says. "I didn't mean-"

"It's okay," she tells him, trying to smile but failing miserably. "I know you didn't mean anything by it. I'm just nervous about seeing Twelve, and I'm still hungry!"

Rye waves as he disappears into the massive kitchens. Madge walks with us part of the way until we get to the elevators, where she's going down and we're going up.

"See you at dinner?" she says as her elevator arrives. "I doubt you two will be back in time for lunch."

Katniss scowls again. "I didn't think about us missing lunch today," she grumbles as we step into our elevator.

"We should see if we can get your servings increased again," I tell her as we head to the hangar. "We can talk to Prim. I don't want you going hungry when you're supposed to be eating for two!"

Boggs, Gale, and Plutarch are waiting for us as we arrive at the main entrance to the hangar. "You still sure about this?" Gale says to me after Katniss has climbed onto the hovercraft. Plutarch and Boggs are deep in conversation behind me.

"If she's sure, then I'm sure," I reply. "I'm definitely not letting her go there without me."

Gale nods, still looking skeptical. "Listen," he says awkwardly. "About what I said last night at dinner..." he pauses as his face flushes and he clears his throat. "It's really none of my business..."

"No, it's not," I tell him firmly as I climb up into the hovercraft. "And you'd do well to remember that. Katniss is unsure of herself enough with this pregnancy without people who are supposed to care about her saying things like that to her."

He looks down and nods. "Yeah. I guess, it's ridiculous I know, since you guys said you got married and all, but I think there was some stupid part of me who... didn't think that... you'd done... that. That she'd let you... go that far with her."

I give him a look of absolute, dumbfounded, shock. "Um, did you think we were still only holding hands?" He flushes even redder and moves immediately over to a seat, buckling himself in. Apparently he must have thought something like that because he refuses to meet my eyes for the rest of the flight to Twelve. For someone who likes to think that he knows Katniss so well, Gale really doesn't know her at all. He's obviously never really been in love either, if he can't understand the want and need to be as close as possible as much as possible to the person you love.

Katniss falls asleep against my shoulder for most of the trip, only waking as we start preparing to land. The hovercraft drops us off near the Meadow, with Gale electing to stay onboard and monitor us from above through a special earpiece that he gives me as we disembark. "You just tell us to come and get you when you're ready," he says as the hovercraft takes off again, sending dust flying into our faces. The last few weeks here have obviously been very hot and very dry.

I take Katniss's hand as we walk from the Meadow in the direction of Victor's Village. Every single house there is still standing except for ours. It lies in a huge pile of rubble, obviously directly targeted by one of the bombs that fell that horrible night.

"We should see if we can salvage anything," Katniss says quietly, her hand clinging so tightly to mine that I can feel her ring digging into my fingers.

"We can do that right before we leave," I say. "Let's head to the Square first."

We stick to the main road out of habit, but that turns out to be a mistake, as it's full of the remains of those who tried to flee the inferno. Some were incinerated entirely, but many others were likely overcome with smoke, and it's these people who now lie reeking about in various stages of decomposition. I hear a gurgling noise coming from Katniss as we walk, and I bring my arm around her shoulders as she buries her face into my chest to avoid looking at the worst of it. The last thing she needs right now is to lose her breakfast.

I look off into the distance where the burning coal mines are still belching out black smoke. All that coal... burned into piles of ash. Just like the rest of the district. More than eighty-five percent of the district perished that night. The rest of us, a bit less than a thousand people, were welcomed as refugees into District 13, but I can't help but have an uneasy feeling about that place. They were almost too eager to help us, too eager to absorb us into their ranks. I know I should be grateful, especially for how they were able to save Katniss from her horrible injuries after the Quell, and how they were able to treat the deep infection in my leg, and the pretty severe vitamin and mineral deficiencies and general malnutrition of many of the other people from Twelve, but something still doesn't sit right with me about all of it. There's far too much whispering and secrecy that goes on there for my taste.

The surface beneath our feet starts to harden, and under the carpet of ash I start to see the paving stones of the Square. Katniss looks back up as we enter, and I hear a sharp intake of breath as she takes in the scene around us. A heap of blackened rubble has replaced the Justice Building. Around the perimeter is a shallow border of refuse where the shops once stood. The General Store where my oldest brother Bannock worked, married to a woman he didn't love. The butcher's shop. The dressmaker's shop. And the bakery. My feet automatically take us in that direction. There's nothing much left of my childhood home but the melted lump of the main oven. My parents... they're in there somewhere, they never made it to Thirteen. Katniss leans her head against my chest as my arms wrap around her.

"I'm so sorry Peeta," she says quietly.

It's strange, but as I study the charred and smoking remains of the bakery, the main emotion that I feel is relief. My childhood wasn't really a happy one, and as much as I tried to cover it up, I was always either living in fear of my next beating or recovering from one. I'm sure the time will come when I will mourn my parents properly, especially my father, but knowing that my mother can never hurt me, or my wife and child, ever again brings me nothing right now but a sense of relief.

And the more I think about it, if it wasn't for Katniss I'd really have no family left. My brother Rye would likely be dead along with my parents, and from the looks of things, the Mayor's mansion was hit either right before or right after our house, so Madge surely would be dead along with her parents. But because of Katniss they both survived. Because they were staying with me, trying to help me. Because of her.

"I'll be okay," I reply, squeezing her briefly before moving my palm down to rest against her belly for a moment. I've found myself doing that a lot lately, almost unconsciously. I like to think of it as I'm protecting my own family. "I have you."

Katniss nods against my chest. "I think I've seen enough," she says, her voice quavering. "Can we go now?"

"Yeah," I whisper as we turn around and immediately see the whipping post, tipped over and charred. Instinctively my hands clench into fists as my heart starts to pound. I wince, remembering the strike of Thread's whip against my bare back, and the feeling of horror that I had when Katniss ran in front of me to try and stop him. And then the crackdown on the entire district during the weeks that followed. And all those newer Peacekeepers were evacuated from here before the bombs hit. I wonder where they are now.

I keep my arm around Katniss's waist as we walk carefully back towards Victor's Village. We stop briefly into her old house to gather up some of her mother's and Prim's things from the kitchen and bedrooms and are both startled by a strange hissing sound. It's Prim's ugly cat, Buttercup, who's somehow managed to survive on his own all this time. Katniss scowls at him as he hisses at us again, but jumps into her arms after she asks him if he wants to go and see Prim. The thought of how surprised Prim will be to see her beloved cat makes me smile.

Then we head across the street to our house. I can make out the staircase through the destroyed wall, and the front door is hanging by one hinge as we step through and into the entryway. It looks like the bomb hit the back of the house, as the entry and part of the kitchen downstairs, and the master bedroom upstairs appear somewhat intact. "You stay right here," I tell Katniss firmly. I don't want her walking around upstairs on a floor that's probably unstable. "I'll look upstairs in our room real quick and come right back down."

I step gingerly up the stairs, making sure to test each step for a few seconds before moving onto the next one. I reach the hallway at the top and find that the floor has caved in right past the door to my studio. The room that Rye and Madge stayed in is gone, as are the rest of the bedrooms. The door to the master bedroom squeaks loudly as I open it to walk though. I can see Katniss's hunting jacket hanging on its hook in our closet, right next to her game bag. I grab them both, slinging the bag over my shoulder. I also take Katniss's hairbrush and a couple of her hair ties off of the dresser. Then the floor starts to creak and I hear Katniss calling my name from below.

"Peeta!" she calls again, now sounding more frantic.

"I'm coming down!" I reply as I carefully but quickly make my way back down the rickety steps. "I'm okay."

She's standing in the entrance to the kitchen, holding the Plant Book with one arm and pointing to the table, where a vase containing a single, perfect, white rose is sitting. My nose twitches as the pungent, artificially strong scent fills my nostrils. Immediately my mind is flooded with memories of President Snow's office. The vases he had, filled with roses like this one, strategically placed around the room to cover up the scent of blood that seemed to follow him wherever he went. The one he always wears pinned to his impeccable jackets. I feel my throat start to thicken and my heart start to pound as my breaths come faster and faster until I'm gasping. It's like he's taunting me, taunting us, even now. Like he knows he can get to us. That he can find us, no matter where we try to go.

I grab Katniss's hand and run out of the house as fast I can without dragging her as she stuffs Buttercup roughly into the game bag. I signal to Gale that we're ready to go and the hovercraft starts to descend. Once we're on board the hovercraft I wrap Katniss in my arms as tightly as I can without hurting her, inhaling the comforting scent of her hair. It's only once we've taken off and Twelve is a few minutes behind us that I feel my heartbeat return to normal and the lump in my throat start to fade. That rose was there on our table for a reason and I got the message loud and clear. And now I'm even more sure about what I have to do. Because we won't be safe, my family won't be truly safe until President Snow is dead. And I'm going to be the one to kill him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of the lovely comments! You guys sure know how to motivate me to keep going! I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!


	3. Bargains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Capitol can sure put on quite a show.

KPOV

Peeta sits with his body twisted in the hovercraft seat so he can keep his arms locked around me. He has to be uncomfortable, but he keeps his face buried in my neck and doesn't let me shift at all to help him be more comfortable. The first thirty minutes that we're in the air he doesn't move, except to squeeze me tighter every few minutes and mumble into my skin. It reminds me too much of how scared he was after he had to meet with President Snow during the Victory Tour party at his mansion. I run my fingers over and over through his hair and whisper into his ear, trying to soothe him, and ignoring the strange look Gale is giving us.

Finally he raises his head to look at me, and the look in his blue eyes scares me a little. He almost looks dangerous. "Peeta, what is it?" I whisper, not wanting to be overheard. Buttercup lets out a pathetic meow from inside the game bag next to me.

"We can talk when we get back," he says, his eyes softening somewhat. He gently tucks a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. "But I want to set up a meeting with President Coin tomorrow. We need to get this thing moving."

I assume he means the revolution. "We can talk to Boggs when we land. I'm sure Coin is eager to get started." Boggs is deep in conversation with someone over his radio right now. Gale is still looking at the two of us. I really wish he would stop it.

But Boggs exits the hovercraft almost before we've finished landing and disappears, so Peeta takes my hand as soon as we land and leads me back to the residential section. We knock on my mother and Prim's door first to drop off Buttercup and the few items I picked up from their house. Prim squeals in delight when she sees the mangy and disheveled cat, and Mom starts to cry when I hand her the picture of my father. After a round of hugs, Peeta tugs on my elbow and we head to our own tiny compartment, where I hang my father's hunting jacket over one of the chairs and put the Plant Book carefully in the drawer with my clothes. Peeta is standing in the middle of the room, watching me with that possessive look on his face that I've been seeing more and more often lately.

"The rose," I say quietly. "Snow left that rose in our kitchen, didn't he?"

Peeta nods, reaching over to take my hand. "Yeah," he says, his voice hard. "It's like he knew we were going to be there, Katniss. He put it there to remind me of what he said to me before, the morning we left on the Victory Tour."

I bring my arms around his waist and lean my head against his chest. "And what is that?"

"That our lives aren't really ours," he says, his voice still like steel. He runs his hands up and down my back and then reaches up to cup my face. "But he's wrong. Our lives will be ours, and I'm going to make sure if it. Even if I have to kill him myself."

My eyes widen as I stare into his. "Peeta, I don't think it'll need to come to that. Surely once we win this war he'd be officially executed or something?"

"If that's the case then I'll do it. I'll do it, Katniss, if it means that I can stop worrying about you every time I can't physically see you. If it means that I won't have a damn panic attack every time I happen to see a rose. If it means, that I know you both will be safe," and he puts his hand over my belly. He's been doing that a lot lately.

The horn sounds then, indicating that it's time for dinner. I take his arm. "Let's go eat now, I'm hungry. We can talk to Gale at dinner to set up a meeting with Coin if you want."

"Yeah, I want that," he says as he wraps his arm around my waist. We've just about reached the cafeteria when Gale runs up to us, out of breath.

"You're both wanted in Command right now," Gale says in between gasps. "There's a broadcast from the Capitol that Coin wants you to see."

I try to ignore the growling of my stomach as we follow Gale to Command, grateful that he knows the way since I can't remember how to get there. We arrive at the red door and Gale opens it without knocking. Several people are there, including Plutarch, Boggs, Beetee, and Finnick, all crowded over in one corner.

"Ah, there you are," Plutarch says as he sees us. "You might want to see this," and he points to one of the television monitors.

Peeta and I are both surprised to see Caesar Flickerman, the eternal host of the Hunger Games, with his lavender-painted face and sparkly suit, preparing to give an interview. I hear Finnick gasp as the camera pulls back and reveals the guests for the evening.

Gloss, the brother of the Quell tribute from District One, Cashmere, is there, dressed in white from head to toe, with a very uncomfortable-looking collar that seems to be digging almost dangerously into his neck. Next to him are two women, also completely dressed in white, down to the gloves covering most of their arms. The first one I recognize as Enobaria, a Victor from District Two, who won her Games several years ago. The second woman, judging from the look of horror on Finnick's face as he reaches his hand towards the screen, must be Annie.

"We have three very special guests tonight," Caesar continues, and I can tell that his usual pizazz is being reigned in a little. "Although I'm sure that none of these people need an introduction, here we have Gloss, Enobaria, and Annie, all previous Victors of the Hunger Games." Caesar leans back in his chair until the applause from the assembled crowd dies down.

"Now then," he says to the three Victors as he leans forward again. "You three were brought here as sort of a panel of experts, to help us all understand a little bit better, what exactly happened during the Quarter Quell." He turns back around to face the audience. "As I'm sure you are all aware, there was no official winner of the Seventy-Fifth Hunger Games, due to one of the tributes, Katniss Everdeen, deliberately destroying the arena, and, as we have come to painfully accept, killing herself and the rest of the remaining tributes in the process." He looks back at the Victors. "Now, can we hear from one of you, your thoughts on what could have possessed Miss Everdeen to do such a thing?"

"Well, Caesar," Gloss says, his back stiff and his neck nearly immobile from the tall collar on his suit jacket. "I'm afraid I can't really speak as to why a tribute would do such a thing, especially a tribute so close to winning a Quarter Quell. As I'm sure you're aware, winning a Quarter Quell is even more honorable than winning a regular Hunger Games, and the winners are rewarded even more than us regular Victors." He chuckles as the audience laughs along with him, but I can see that the laughter doesn't reach his eyes. Something bigger is at play here. Peeta notices this too, as his arm tightens around my waist. Finnick hasn't taken his eyes off of his Annie, who I notice is fidgeting slightly.

"Yes, yes," Caesar says after the laughter has died down. "Yes, I'm sure you can relate to that, with your beloved sister coming close to winning the Quell herself?"

Gloss drops his gaze to his gloved hands. "Yeah," he says quietly. "Yeah, she was pretty close."

"And we were all so sorry to see her eliminated," Caesar continues. Peeta gasps at his choice of words. Eliminated. Not killed, not murdered, just eliminated. Like you'd eliminate a pest from your home.

"Do you have anything to add to that, Enobaria?" Caesar asks. The tall and slender woman sits up straighter in her chair.

"Like my fellow Victor here," she says, her pointy white teeth flashing in the bright lights on the stage. Unlike Gloss, she doesn't seem to be holding anything back. "I can't really understand the motivation behind a tribute who doesn't try to win. I mean, we all know where I come from that winning the Hunger Games is one of the highest honors you can achieve! I was quite upset that I myself wasn't chosen to represent Two in the Quell, because I know for a fact that I would have emerged as the Victor from that arena. It's the highest of honors to bring pride to your district by winning the Games." There's another roar of applause from the audience. "And with how the Victor's district is rewarded as well, it makes the actions of Miss Everdeen even more unusual and confusing. You could even see, towards the end, that tribute Finnick Odair was pleading with her not to shoot her arrow at the ceiling."

Bring pride to your district. The same words that Cato used as he held Peeta's neck in his arms, right before I shot him in the hand. It must be the motto of their Games training school in Two. Peeta exhales shakily and squeezes me close again.

"You see there folks?" Caesar says loudly. "You're hearing it straight from the Victors themselves! There's no greater honor for people living in the districts than to win the Hunger Games. I think we can all agree now then, that the actions of Miss Everdeen in the Quell were very unusual and definitely the result of a young woman who was obviously unwell. That Katniss Everdeen, when she realized that she couldn't win the Quell herself, chose to destroy the arena and kill the remaining tributes rather than have someone else crowned the Victor?"

"I think that's a fair assessment, Caesar," Enobaria says. Annie continues to fidget; playing with her hair, pulling on the fingers of her gloves, shifting in her seat.

"Is there anything you would like to add, Annie?" Caesar asks her, looking at her intently. Annie jumps at the sound of her name, causing Finnick to squeak.

"N-no, thank you," she says, like the words are being pulled from her throat. "I th-think everything's b-been said, th-that needs to be s-said," and she grabs a length of her reddish hair and gives a hard yank as Finnick lets out another squeak.

"Well, there you have it, folks," Caesar says as the Panem anthem starts to play in the background. "Right from the mouths of the Victors themselves. The actions in the Quell that resulted in the destruction of the arena, were the result of one young girl, who was obviously very disturbed. Such a sad end to such a beautiful arena, and such beloved Victors. I'm Caesar Flickerman." And the screen fades to black.

There's a few seconds of silence in the room, before everyone starts talking at once.

"We need to respond-" Gale says.

"We need to get Annie out of there!" from Finnick.

"They think Katniss is dead. We need to have her publicly seen as quickly as possible." Plutarch's voice seems to carry above the others.

"Absolutely not!" Peeta yells at Plutarch, shocking everyone else into silence and drawing every face in the room over to us. Coin glares her pale, grey eyes at him.

"Let's all sit down and discuss this rationally, shall we?" she says in her frustratingly even voice. Everyone moves to take a seat around the table. Peeta pulls out my chair for me and then takes my hand, holding it on top of the table. Coin looks around at everyone before she starts to speak.

"This is the first televised show from the Capitol that they've released since the end of the Quarter Quell," she says. "That means it took them over two months to get their act together. Which means that the uprisings in the districts, and the blow that Katniss gave them when she knocked out the Quell arena, hit them a lot harder than they want us to know. So, we need to decide right now, how we are going to respond."

"We need to get Katniss somewhere where she can be seen. As soon as possible," Plutarch says immediately. "The people in the districts must know that she's still alive."

Peeta's hand clamps down harder over my own. "She is not going anywhere-" he starts to say, but Boggs cuts him off.

"Peeta," he says, his voice firm but still kind. "The damage that could be done to the morale of the rebels, thinking that Katniss is dead, could be irreparable. Especially in those districts that are still unsure about this revolution. We need to get her somewhere where we can broadcast our own message to the rebels. To show them that she is alive, and fighting along with them."

Peeta's clutching my hand now so hard that his knuckles are white. "And we need you to be seen as well, Peeta," Boggs continues. "Snow attacked your house in Twelve hoping to kill you specifically. The rebels need to see you both. Together. Showing them that you're fighting with them and for them."

Peeta's nostrils flare as he breathes in carefully. "I won't have my wife sent into a combat zone. Even if I'm there too, I won't have her go anywhere that isn't safe."

"She should be able to decide that for herself," Gale says, his voice cold. Peeta immediately turns on him.

"You stay out of this!" Peeta yells at Gale as he points his finger at him. "You have no say in this at all, so just keep your mouth shut!"

"Peeta!" I say loudly, my eyes wide. It's not like him to be rude to anyone. I bring my other hand to cover both of ours. "I don't think these people want either of us sent into an active combat zone." I turn to look at Coin and Boggs. "Isn't that correct?"

"Katniss," Peeta says, a little quieter this time, but he's interrupted by Beetee.

"District 8 would be a good place to send them," he says, pushing his glasses further up onto his nose. "They reported heavy bombing last week, so there should be no military targets remaining. The Capitol should be looking elsewhere by now."

District 8 is where Cecelia was from. "Peeta," I say gently. "I think we should go." He gives me a look of such despair that it brings tears to my eyes. "I'll be okay," I say as I rub my thumb over his hand. "I'll be okay if you're with me."

"I'd be accompanying the two of you as well," Boggs says. "And Gale. And, District 8 has one of the best rebel commanders in Panem, Peeta. You and Katniss would be as safe as you can be outside of Thirteen."

"It would only be for a few hours at most," Plutarch pipes up. "Just long enough to get some good footage, maybe visit with some of the wounded, that kind of thing. But we need you to do this. Both of you. We need you to be our Mockingjays."

Peeta stares straight ahead for a while with his jaw clenched. Finally he exhales. "Before we agree to anything, we have a few conditions." I see Coin raise her eyebrows. Somehow I don't think she expected Peeta to give her so much trouble.

"Yes," she says, almost sarcastically. "And what are these conditions?"

Peeta sits up taller in his chair and squeezes my hand. "First, no one will make decisions about either Katniss or myself without consulting both of us. She and our baby are my responsibility and my responsibility only. Secondly, Katniss needs to have a pass or something that allows her to eat whenever she needs to. She's already missed two meals today and she left breakfast this morning still hungry."

I can't keep my lips from twitching into the slightest of smiles. Of course Peeta would be thinking right now about how hungry I am.

"Uh huh," Coin says, her grey eyes trained coolly on Peeta. "Any more of your conditions?"

"Yes," I say. Peeta looks at me in surprise. "Peeta's brother would like to be transferred out of the kitchen rotation. He'd be of better use as something else."

Coin tilts her head and chuckles. "Rye is his name, correct?" she says, trying to stifle a smile. I see Peeta's jaw clenching again. "He was the baker in your district, was he not?"

"Yes," Peeta says. "But he doesn't really like it. He'd be much happier doing something else... like helping his wife with her work. From what she's told us, she could use the help."

"That is true, Madam President," Plutarch says, surprising me. "I know Beetee's been trying to help the other Mrs. Mellark with some things, but we really could use him more in weapons development."

Coin taps her pencil on the table a few times. "All right," she says with a single nod of her head. "I'll assign him to work with his wife. And is that it?"

A sudden thought occurs to me. "No," I say. "We need to rescue Annie from the Capitol." I see Finnick's head snap up out of the corner of my eye. "She's obviously under duress there, and Finnick says that she won't last too much longer if we don't get her out now."

"I've already spoken with Mr. O'Dair about this," Coin says impatiently. "I've told him it isn't feasible right now-"

"It may not be easy," Peeta cuts in, nodding at me. "But it's the right thing to do. She didn't ask to be a part of any of this, and leaving her there to suffer makes us look almost as bad as the Capitol."

I see Coin's face grow paler at Peeta's words. "You don't seem to understand just how much it would take to break into a Capitol building to rescue one person," she says, her voice dangerously quiet. "Not to mention the all the work that we'd have to do to even get into the Capitol's airspace without being seen!"

"Well, then you'll just have to figure something out," Peeta says. "I'm sure-"

"I know things," Finnick interrupts, his hands working up and down on his length of rope. "I know things, about people. In the Capitol. Secrets. Secrets about people there that would horrify you. Even about President Snow. I would trade those secrets for Annie's rescue."

Coin and Plutarch start whispering to each other. "How can we be sure you're telling the truth?" Coin asks suspiciously.

Finnick holds his hands out. "What possible reason would I have to lie?" he asks. "The Capitol took everything from me. Annie's all I have left."

Coin stares at him for a few more seconds. "Very well. We will look for the best opportunity to attempt a rescue. But I can't guarantee that it will be soon. And is that everything?"

The look of extreme relief and gratitude that Finnick gives us brings more tears to my eyes. "No, there's one more thing," I say. Peeta looks at me in surprise again.

Coin sighs loudly. "And what is that?"

"My sister gets to keep her cat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter might be an extra day or two before it gets posted, as I'll be out of town for a couple of days and I'm not sure how reliable the wifi will be. Hopefully not too much of a delay! :)


	4. Familiar Faces

PPOV

It's after midnight already and I can't sleep. Katniss is lying next to me, her back right up against my chest. Her bare left shoulder, illuminated from the nightlight, is rising and falling with her even breaths. The overhead lights automatically shut off at 2200 sharp every night, and the nightlight kicks in right away. I think it's supposed to replicate the natural moonlight that we never see, but it doesn't work the same for me.

It took Coin and her roomful of advisors over thirty minutes to figure out how Prim could be allowed to keep her cat, since animals aren't ever kept as pets here apparently. It was longer than it took them to think about how they're going to get Annie out of the Capitol. Longer than it took them to think about sending us to visit a war-torn district. The damn cat caused the most trouble. I can't believe Katniss managed not to throw a full-bore tantrum by the time the debate was finally over.

When we were finally dismissed from Command I took Katniss directly to the cafeteria, where I had to present them with a special card that allowed us to get our long overdue evening meal, with an extra large serving for Katniss. Then we helped Mrs. Everdeen and Prim move into their new compartment near the top of the underground complex, which has a tiny window for Buttercup to use so he can leave to find food. If I would've known there were compartments here that had windows, I would've insisted that Katniss and I move up there too. Not having a window to keep open at night is one of the reasons why I can't seem to stay asleep. The lack of fresh air moving through the room makes me feel like I'm suffocating sometimes.

I carefully slide my arm out from under Katniss and sit up on the bed. She stirs slightly so I put my hand on her shoulder to try and still her, but she rolls over anyway and sleepily opens one eye.

"Are you okay?" she whispers.

"Yeah," I say, as I run my hand through my hair. "Just can't shut my mind off tonight. I'm sorry I woke you."

She pulls me to lie back down and settles her head on my chest, with her hand moving up to run her fingers along my jaw. She knows her touch is soothing to me, as mine is to her, but right now my body is craving more than only the touch of her fingers. I bring my hand to her face and gently tilt it up so I can reach her lips with my own. Every time we kiss I wonder how I managed to live for sixteen years of my life without her kisses. They are life-sustaining for me now.

She breaks the kiss to take a breath and then tugs on me to roll us so my upper body is lying on top of her. I feel her cup my face in her small hands and her lips part again, her grey eyes dark and hooded.

"Peeta," she whispers. "Let me help you sleep." She threads her fingers into my hair and pulls my head back down to hers as I run my palm along her bare hip and thigh. Her tongue runs along my upper lip and she whimpers as it touches mine, my hand pressing her closer to me. I'm already hard, and her fingers reach down to wrap around my length, causing me to moan and buck up into her hand.

"You don't have to," I say, even as I lightly thrust against her hand. We made love earlier tonight already, although it felt a lot more primal to me than making love. After everything that we witnessed today; the devastation in Twelve, the rose sitting in our destroyed home, the TV special with the Victors, and then the ridiculous arguments over a stupid cat, I practically pounced on Katniss as soon as the door to our quarters closed behind us. I would've felt uneasy with how much I needed her in that moment if she hadn't responded with just as much enthusiasm. We never even got completely undressed. I just tugged her pants off and pushed her up against the concrete wall, shoving her panties to the side as she locked her ankles around me. It was so powerful that I didn't stop trembling for several minutes afterwards. Then she gently pulled off the rest of our clothes and guided me to the tiny shower in our bathroom. She squeezed in there with me, running her hands and her lips up and down my body as the water rained down on us, trying to comfort me the way that only she can.

"How can I help you?" she whispers now, one hand still stroking me and the other trailing up and down over my back and shoulders.

" _Katniss._ " I run my fingers up her inner thigh and she opens her legs as I shift in between them. She brings my erection down and brushes the head against her wet, aroused center, and I hiss as I push into her. I hear a groan rumble from her chest as I carefully palm her breast.

" _Peeta_." My name escapes her lips as she arches her back off the bed and clutches my hips, bringing her knees up as high as she can. I growl as my thrusts get harder and more erratic and my lips move clumsily over her neck and throat. "Please touch me."

I prop myself up on one forearm as I work my other hand between us and my fingers find her sweet spot, swollen and needy. Her eyes widen and her hand runs up my back to fist into my hair. "Yes," she rasps. "That's it!"

"Katniss!" I cry, no longer able to keep my eyes open. I thrust my hips even harder as I rub my thumb between her legs. I feel my cock swell with my release as she starts to flutter around me, and I bury my face into the pillow to muffle my cries of pleasure as Katniss bites down on my shoulder. The walls are far too thin in these compartments, and I'd never hear the end of it if we managed to wake up my brother who's only two doors down.

Katniss's feather-light fingertips run up and down my scarred back as I slowly regain my senses. I raise my head to look at her, and the soft smile on her face, the one that she saves only for me, only for moments like this, causes me to burst into tears. She doesn't say anything. She just wraps her arms around my neck and lets me cry until the tears are gone. Then she gently pushes me onto my back and lays her head down on my chest, bringing her leg across my hips and her hand to caress my cheek. I reach down for the blanket and wrap it around us.

"I love you," she whispers. And that's all I need to hear right now. I kiss the top of her head and close my eyes as sleep finally finds me.

My mood is slightly improved in the morning. Today is an easier day, as we see once we get our schedules printed on our arms. At least they're nice enough here to keep us together most of the time. Today we have a physical therapy appointment for me after breakfast, which will take most of the morning, then a doctor's appointment for Katniss to check on the baby after lunch before we meet with Madge and Beetee to prep for our trip to Eight tomorrow. That plus the regular mealtimes and the reflection hour before dinner, is pretty much it for the day.

Rye is ecstatic when we arrive to breakfast and he tells everyone that he's been reassigned from the kitchens. Gale looks amused. Madge just looks relieved. "I know you guys had something to do with that, so thank you so much," she says. "I do need the help, but even more, I need him to stop complaining all the time about how much he'd rather be somewhere else!"

"Hey!" Rye protests. "If Peeta gets to spend all day with his wife, why can't I? Besides, I think I'm going to be good at this. It was never my life's dream to run the bakery, but I wasn't really given a choice."

Katniss squeezes my knee. She knows that unlike Rye, I really do love to bake and I miss it. In fact, I wouldn't mind taking a shift in the kitchens here every now and then, but I don't want to be away from Katniss unless it's absolutely necessary.

"We should see if they would let you help them sometimes," Katniss says to me, like she was reading my mind. "I know you would love it."

I lean over to kiss her on the cheek. "Maybe once we get back from Eight I can look into that."

She holds up the plain piece of wheat bread that we're given as part of our breakfast every morning. "I know I miss your baking. What I wouldn't give for one of your cheese buns right now."

Rye practically skips out of the cafeteria when breakfast is over, causing Gale to roll his eyes and me to laugh a little. "For a baker's son, it's pretty odd that he doesn't like to bake, don't you think?" Gale says to Katniss.

"I don't think so," Katniss says. "You never really liked hunting, Gale. You always preferred to just set the snares and let them do all the work. You only shot at things when you had too."

I see Gale narrow his eyes. "That's 'cause you were always a better shot than I was," he retorts. "I only hunted because I had to."

"Exactly," Katniss replies. "Rye was the baker because he had to be. Since Bannock moved out and Peeta was a Victor, Rye had no choice. But he didn't like it. He only did it because he had too. And Peeta's a better baker than him anyway."

"Hmph," Gale mumbles. I don't think he likes being reminded that us Merchants didn't have the easy and cushy lives that he always thought we had.

We bid Gale farewell on the elevator as we make our way to the hospital for my PT appointment. We're there for nearly three hours while the therapist has me walk and run and climb steps. He even has me practice climbing a ladder. My left hip and thigh are sore when we're done but it's a good kind of soreness, like I used to feel after wrestling practice. After I take a soothing shower and get dressed back into my regular clothes, the therapist starts to give Katniss a therapeutic cream to use on my stump and hip before he remembers that she's pregnant and hands it to me instead.

"There's wintergreen in here," he says as he hands me the jar. "You'll have to apply it on yourself. And preferably when you won't be... rubbing skin with your wife."

Katniss's face flushes pink and the therapist starts to laugh. "I'm sorry if I sound crude. We're just not used to having to worry about any pregnant women around here. It's nice to have to think about it again. But anyway, I think you're all set here, Peeta. There's really nothing more that you need from me."

"Thanks for your help," I say as I grab Katniss's hand to leave. She's still bright pink and scowling.

"Why'd he have to say that?" Katniss grumbles as we head down the hall to the elevator. It's almost time for lunch.

"He didn't mean anything bad by it," I say, trying to stifle a laugh. "But think about it. I mean, you are pregnant. And there's not many ways that could happen besides... rubbing skin, as he so delicately put it."

Katniss looks up at me with a petulant look on her face. I can't help but grin even wider. "Do you want to know something funny?" 

The corners of her mouth twitch a little. "What?"

"Gale told me yesterday he was surprised that we'd, rubbed skin. Somehow he'd had the idea that our relationship was platonic, even after all this time."

Her mouth twitches even more. She looks up at me and raises one of her eyebrows, trying so hard to keep a straight face, but then she snorts and starts to giggle. "He said that?" she asks between gasps of laughter. "No wonder he kept looking at us so funny yesterday."

I wrap my arms around her waist as my face grows more serious. "I love you," I say before leaning down to kiss her. She brings her arms up around my neck and deepens the kiss just as the elevator doors open.

"Good grief, don't you two have a room?" a familiar voice says from the elevator, causing us to break apart quickly.

"Haymitch!" we say in unison as Katniss throws herself into his arms. "It's so good to see you!" she says into his shoulder.

Haymitch pats her back as his grey eyes fill with tears. "It's good to see you too, Sweetheart," he says, looking up at me and winking. "It's real good to see you again."

"They let you out of rehab finally, huh?" I say as we arrive at the cafeteria. Haymitch scowls.

"Yeah, I guess I'm as good as I'm gonna get now," he says as we're handed our lunch trays. He sounds resigned. "Going cold turkey off alcohol is seriously the hardest thing I've ever been through. Even after I almost died during my Games."

Another familiar face is waiting for us at our lunch table. "Johanna!" Katniss exclaims as we sit down. "They finally let you out of the hospital?"

"Finally!" Johanna says around a mouthful of bread. She swallows before continuing. "I swear, if I ever have to be in traction ever again, they'll have to keep me knocked out the whole time. I had places on me that itched that I never knew even existed. But at least my night nurse was cute."

Gale and Rye both have a cornered prey type of look on their faces as they eye Johanna Mason. I clear my throat and introduce everyone at the table. Johanna's gaze lingers on Gale for a bit as she eyes him up and down, causing him to blush and drop his eyes back onto his food tray.

"There's one more person we're supposed to meet here today," Haymitch says as he looks around the cafeteria. His lips twist into a strange smile. "Ah. And here she comes."

"Who...?" Katniss starts to say as she turns to follow Haymitch's eyes. "Effie?" she says in shock, as the plain-faced woman with sort of dull, dark blonde hair approaches the table with her tray, looking around awkwardly. "Is that you?"

"Hello dears," she says as she sits down and sighs. She reaches for my hand and grabs it. "It's so wonderful to see you again, Peeta!" She always emphasizes the -ta in my name a bit too much. "And Katniss darling, you gave me such a fright in that Quell!"

"How did you get here?" Katniss asks, incredulously. "Did Plutarch rescue you?"

"Hmm, yes, rescued," she says sarcastically. "Yes, that's what he called it." She picks up her cup of water and eyes it suspiciously. "Do you know what I miss?" she asks. "Coffee. I miss coffee. I mean, have you ever seen any place so strict? Even your little district had a black market, yes? And these clothes!" She pulls her faded grey shirt away from her body. "Absolutely no one is flattered by this color, absolutely no one!"

Haymitch rolls his eyes and Katniss looks down sadly at the mention of the Hob. "Don't you have something to show them?" Haymitch implores.

"Oh yes dears," Effie says as she shoves her tray out of the way, almost sending it falling into Rye's lap. She slams a large leather portfolio down onto the table. "Now listen to me you two," she says as she opens it. "They made me promise not to show you this until you'd decided to help on your own."

Katniss and I both lean over to take a closer look and we gasp at the same time. On the first page there's a picture of Katniss, standing straight and strong, wearing a kind of black uniform. The uniform is both practical and a work of art. There's a black undershirt with a slight fullness to the top of the sleeves, allowing the white folds under the arms to show. There's a pair of fitted black pants with a special belt that allows for hidden weapons, and the whole outfit is covered by carefully tailored layers of black body armor, with the breastplate having an elegant curve to it. On the next page, there's another picture and another uniform, this time for me.

"Cinna made this," Katniss whispers, her eyes shimmering with tears. She sniffs and scrubs at her eyes. "Didn't he?"

"They both did," Effie replies. "Portia helped him, since they weren't sure which one of you would be wearing it, they... wanted to be prepared. They designed these before the Quell reaping, and they both made me promise not to show either of you this before you'd agreed to help, on your own. But I think, as you can see, that they knew you both pretty well."

Tears escape and roll down Katniss's cheeks. I can see Gale looking at us quizzically out of the corner of my eye. "He's dead, isn't he?" Katniss says.

Effie looks down. "Yes dear, he is."

Katniss lets out a sob and buries her face into my chest. "They beat him, right in front of me. Two Peacekeepers came in and beat him. Right before the Quell started. I was already in the launch tube, and I couldn't help him," she says, her words muffled against my body.

"I knew you looked upset when you appeared in the arena," I say quietly. "I'm so sorry, love."

"They have the outfits, my dears," Effie continues. "They have the Mockingjay uniforms here in Thirteen. You two," and she grabs my hand and Katniss's hand in her own. "You two will be the best dressed rebels in history."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One thing I'm enjoying with this story is combining my favorite things from the books and the movies and working them to fit with my story. That's one reason why I'm including Effie in my story here. I loved that she was in the Mockingjay movies since I loved her character so much. :)


	5. Dreams

KPOV

The rest of the day passes rather quickly. Peeta and I head straight from lunch back to the hospital to meet with the maternity doctor and my mother, although the doctor is learning from my mother almost as much as I am. They measure my belly, which is becoming more and more round. My pants are feeling more snug lately, especially as the day goes on. Mom also listens to the baby's heartbeat with an instrument she calls a Doppler. Peeta says the sound of our baby's heart is the second most beautiful sound in the world, right behind my singing voice.

"Are you taking your vitamins everyday, Katniss?" Mom asks me as she helps me sit back up on the examining table.

"I'm making sure that she is," Peeta assures her. He is every image of the proud father right now and it makes me happy to see him so excited.

"Peeta's taking very good care of me," I say. "And yes, he makes sure I take the yucky vitamins." I wrinkle my nose. The vitamin pills are absolutely huge and taste terrible, but Mom insists that I take them since they're available here, and Peeta won't let me forget them.

"You're still a bit underweight, but everything looks okay otherwise and the baby's heartbeat is strong," Mom says. "I'd like to see you gain at least twenty pounds in the next three months, and I'll want to see you again here in two weeks. You should start feeling the baby moving around soon. And then when you're around twenty weeks, you and Peeta will need to decide if you want to find out if the baby's a boy or a girl, because we'll do another ultrasound then."

Peeta smiles widely at the mention of another ultrasound. He keeps the pictures from our first one in his drawer with his clothes, and I see him looking at them several times a day. "We'll have to talk about that," he says to me as we get ready to leave. "Do you think you'd like to find out?"

Honestly I hadn't thought much about it. In my mind's eye I've always seen a little boy. I've never even really thought that the baby might be a girl. "I don't know," I say. "Do you want to find out?"

Peeta kisses my hand that he's holding and smiles at me. "We don't have to decide right now. It really doesn't matter to me. You know I'll be happy with either."

Next on our schedule is our meeting with Beetee, so we find our way down to Beetee's lab, which is located way, way down in a beehive of rooms called the Special Defense Level. It's full of computers, labs, research equipment, and testing ranges for new weapons. Peeta and I are directed through another maze of hallways until we come to a plate-glass window, behind which is really the first beautiful thing we've seen since we came to Thirteen. It's a replica of a meadow, filled with real trees and flowering plants. There's even hummingbirds in here, fluttering in midair as they drink nectar from large orange blossoms. Peeta's face lights up at the multitude of colors in the room.

"Oh, I wish I could paint this!" he says in awe. "I've missed seeing other colors besides grey!"

Beetee's in there talking to Gale. I don't know why it makes me uneasy that Gale is almost everywhere Peeta and I are lately, but it does. Especially since Gale seems to be trying to push Peeta's buttons as much as possible. Peeta knocks on the window gently and Beetee gestures for us to come inside.

The air is cool and breathable, not muggy like I'd expected. I can hear the buzz of the tiny wings of the hummingbirds as we walk further into the room. "Aren't they beautiful?" Beetee asks, his eyes behind his ill-fitting glasses alight with excitement. "They've been studying their aerodynamics here for years. Forward and backward flight, and speeds up to sixty miles per hour. I wish I could build wings like this for you, Katniss!"

I chuckle, more at his enthusiasm than anything. "I doubt I could manage them, Beetee."

"She wouldn't need them for too long anyway," Peeta says. "District 8 should be the only place she'll be visiting."

I see Gale frowning. "You don't know that," he says. And while I too feel a small twinge of irritation at Peeta for saying something like that without discussing it with me first, I know he's just trying to protect me.

Peeta's head whips around to glare at Gale over his shoulder, his blue eyes flashing. "Yes, Gale, I do. And what the hell is your problem lately?"

Gale stands up to his full height, which is a few inches taller than Peeta. "My problem," he says, looking down at Peeta. "My problem is you telling Katniss what she can and can't do. She can decide those things for herself just fine. And if we need her to do these things for the cause, then she should do them!"

I can see Beetee's eyes flicking back and forth between the two boys. "Peeta-" I start to say, but he interrupts me.

"Her safety is my responsibility," Peeta snaps right back at Gale. "Not yours, and not anyone else's. And I won't have her put in harm's way just to rally a few troops."

"Both of you stop it!" I say. Three pairs of eyes turn to look at me. "Gale, you've had a chip on your shoulder ever since we got out of the hospital, and I'm sick of it! You're obviously very important to this cause and have a lot of good ideas, so why don't you just try to concentrate on that instead of picking on Peeta all the time."

"And you," I say more quietly to Peeta. "Don't listen to him when he gets like that. He's just trying to push you around. I've told you that before, remember?" Peeta nods contritely, but Gale just grunts noncommittally and looks back towards Beetee.

"We can work more on my snare ideas later, Beetee," Gale says, a little too snidely for my taste. "These two seem to be in a hurry."

I sigh as Peeta rolls his eyes, but Beetee nods and starts to roll his wheelchair out of the meadow and over to another hallway. "How's Finnick doing?" he asks me as we follow him through the many twists and turns of Special Defense.

"Not too well," I say. "He's really worried about Annie, especially after that interview last night."

Beetee nods. "If you knew what Finnick's been through the last few years, you'd know how remarkable it is that he's still with us at all. Tell him I have a new trident for him the next time you see him. See if that cheers him up a little."

Somehow I doubt that a new trident will help take Finnick's mind off of Annie, but I promise to pass on the message.

We pass through a couple more hallways before we reach one marked SPECIAL WEAPONRY. The four soldiers guarding the door take our fingerprints, and then check our retinal and DNA scans before we're allowed through the door covered in special metal detectors. Beetee has to leave his wheelchair behind and get into a different one once we've passed through all of the security. Why on earth do they need this much security? Surely they're not paranoid that the recent immigrants from Twelve are going to try and steal their special weapons?

We finally arrive at a table on which lies all sorts of fancy archery equipment. I see Gale's eyes light up as he looks at a shiny black crossbow. He's never been a huge fan of conventional bows and arrows, as he always said they took too long to reload. But this, this would be perfect for him.

"Go ahead and try it out," Beetee says, his eyes twinkling behind his glasses. Gale grabs the crossbow off the table and moves over to one of the targets set up on the side of the huge room.

"Now, for you two," Beetee says, rolling himself over to the end of the table. "I made you a new bow, Katniss. Plutarch said that you should have one, as a prop for filming the propos, but I couldn't make you just a showpiece." He places a beautiful black bow into my hands.

"Oh," I whisper in admiration. I lift it carefully into the air to admire the exquisite balance, the elegant design, and the curve of the limbs that somehow suggests the wings of a bird extended in flight. "It's so beautiful!"

"Now, you're a little trickier, Peeta," Beetee says as he turns to Peeta. "What sort of weapon do you think you'd like to try?"

Peeta shrugs. "I'm not really that great with weapons," he says. "Do I need to have one?"

"You did alright with the bow when we were stranded in the woods," Gale says suddenly behind Peeta, surprising both of us. "I thought you were getting almost as good as Catnip here."

A surge of pride rushes through me. "Can you show me?" I ask Peeta, not able to hide the smile from my face. Peeta hadn't told me he'd been helping Gale hunt after the bombing. I hand Peeta the bow and we move over to the target area, where Beetee hands him one of the regular arrows that he made. There's also explosive and incendiary arrows, indicated by the different colors on the arrow shafts.

Peeta loads the arrow and lines it up with the target, releasing it easily. The arrow doesn't hit the exact center of the target, but it's only off by an inch or two at most. His second arrow lands just to the left of the first one.

"Why didn't you tell me you'd gotten so good?" I ask him as he hands me back the bow. Peeta shrugs, but there's a hint of a smile on his lips.

"Now you try, Katniss," Beetee says, handing me another arrow. I load it carefully, feeling my arms wobble just a bit as I draw it back. I can tell my strength hasn't completely returned yet. Then I let the arrow fly, landing it just to the right of center in the bullseye. My second arrow draws back a little easier, and lands dead on.

"Well then," Gale says. "I think we're all ready!"

"Peeta should have his own bow," I say. Peeta tries to protest but both Gale and Beetee agree with me, so Beetee promises to have his finished by the time we're ready to leave in the morning. Then Peeta and I say goodbye to Beetee and Gale and head back out of the Special Defense area, with Peeta looking longingly at the meadow room as we pass by.

"I should've thought to ask for some drawing supplies for you yesterday when we were bargaining with Coin," I say to him as we exit into the regular hallway and head towards Madge's office. They guard paper and pencils almost as closely as the weapons here. It'd be almost impossible for us to find some without special permission.

"I don't think Coin would've agreed to that one. They don't seem like the types to appreciate art much here," Peeta says, a touch of sadness in his voice.

I stop in a corner and pull his hand, turning him to face me. "We're not going to be here forever," I say, looking right into his blue eyes. "When all this is over, I want us to go back to Twelve."

Peeta's arms wrap around me and he pulls me against him. "Even after what we saw yesterday?" he asks, his voice thick. "I was afraid you'd never want to go back there."

I bury my face into his chest. "No, I want to. Twelve is home. I couldn't stand living here forever and never seeing the outside unless I had a pass or something. We can rebuild our house, or build a different house. But I can't imagine raising our children anywhere else. And then you can bake and I can hunt, and it'll all be okay."

"I want to rebuild the bakery," he says excitedly as he runs his hands up and down my back. "And we can live above it if you want, just like I always dreamed we would." He pulls back to look at me, a sheepish look on his face. "Or we can rebuild our Victor's Village house-"

"No," I say, cutting him off. "It was too big for us anyway. I'd rather live above the bakery." Just imagining waking up every morning to the smell of fresh bread baking again makes my mouth start to water.

Peeta grins wider than he did when I said I'd marry him. "Really? Oh Katniss, I can't wait!" and he kisses me hard on the lips.

"Geez you two," I hear Haymitch's voice say. "You'd think you were a pair of lovesick teenagers the way you act. Oh wait, you are a pair of lovesick teenagers. Never mind then."

I glare at him as I feel my cheeks blushing, but Peeta just laughs. "Sorry Haymitch," he says, wrapping his arm around my waist. "But sometimes I just can't help it."

"What're you doing here?" I ask Haymitch, probably a little too harshly.

Haymitch smirks. "I'll be flying out to Eight with you tomorrow," he says. "I'll be up in the hovercraft the whole time, but Plutarch apparently thought you might need a little... coaching, so he asked me to go also."

"Ah, there they are!" I hear from behind me as Plutarch rounds the corner, three other people trailing behind him. Plutarch looks puzzled as to why we're all just standing in the corner. "Madge's office is just down that hall."

"Thanks," Peeta says as he takes my hand. "We get lost easily around here."

Plutarch reaches a door and knocks and Madge opens it, looking harried. "Ah, just the people I need to see," she says. I can see Rye sitting at a cramped desk behind her, looking over some papers.

Madge's office is no larger than our bedroom closet back in Victor's Village. "Why don't we move to one of the conference rooms?" Plutarch says. He points down the direction we came. "This way."

The conference room looks like a stripped down version of Command. Once we're all seated around the large table, Plutarch starts introducing us to the new faces. "Katniss and Peeta, these are the camera crew who will be following you both tomorrow when you visit District Eight." He points to a woman with a partially shaved head, with green vines tattooed on the shaved half. "This is Cressida. She is, in my opinion, one of the best up and coming directors in the Capitol."

I see Cressida smirk. "Before I up and left," she says. Then she nods at Peeta and me, before turning to her crew. "This is my assistant Messalla, and the cameramen, Castor, and Pollux." Messalla is a slim man with several sets of earrings and a silver stud poking through his tongue. Castor and Pollux both seem to have the same sandy blond hair and similar facial features, and are gesturing wildly to each other. Something about them reminds me of Peeta and Rye.

"Are you guys brothers?" I blurt out, interrupting Plutarch.

Castor smiles at me and nods, extending his hand to shake mine. I notice that his fingernails are bitten down to the quick. "Yes, Pollux and I are brothers. But you won't get much conversation out of him. He's an Avox."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," I mumble, before lowering my gaze to the tabletop. Peeta finds my hand and squeezes it in reassurance.

Plutarch starts to lay out his plan for our visit. We're to meet a Commander Paylor in Eight when we land, then she'll take us to visit a hospital there while she, Rye, and Madge discuss things of a government matter. The camera crew will film Peeta and me visiting with the wounded, with Boggs and Gale acting as our guards. Then Peeta will give a short speech of encouragement and we'll be done. Haymitch and Plutarch will remain in the hovercraft the whole time, monitoring us from above. It all sounds simple enough.

"And you're sure that the Capitol won't know that we'll be there?" Peeta asks.

"Commander Paylor reports that most of their cameras have been damaged or destroyed," Madge says. "They've managed to jury-rig a few to use for our communications, but the majority of them are out, so there shouldn't be any easy way for the Capitol to know about the visit."

Peeta doesn't look convinced. "We'll only be there an hour or so," Gale says. "Nothing should happen in that little time. Katniss will be fine." He says the last part of his statement in a slight patronizing tone, but thankfully Peeta doesn't seem to notice.

"All right then, if no one else has any questions, I need to prep the flight plan for tomorrow," Boggs says and stands up. "Soldier Hawthorne, you're with me." Gale snaps to attention. "The rest of you, I'll see you tomorrow."

After everyone files out of the room we all head down to the cafeteria for dinner. The conversation there is light but subdued. Everyone seems slightly nervous about this trip to Eight, which isn't helping Peeta's mood about it at all. Then a sudden thought occurs to me and I slide over closer to Rye.

"Hey, do you think you could do me a favor?" I ask him.

"Um, sure?" he says, looking surprised.

"You and Madge have pencils and paper in your office, right?" I say.

He looks even more surprised. "Um, yeah we do. Why?"

"Do you think I could borrow a few sheets of the paper? And a pencil? Peeta misses drawing so much, I think it would help distract him a little."

"Yeah, I could probably do that," he says. "I can't give you very much, they monitor the amount of paper that we get pretty closely. But we should be able to spare a couple sheets here and there. I don't think we'll need them back after Peeta uses them though," he adds as he winks at me.

"Anything you can spare would be great, thank you so much!" I say excitedly.

After we finish up with dinner I tell Peeta that I'll meet him back in our compartment and follow Rye to his office. He slips me about five sheets of paper and a single pencil and I quickly hide them under my shirt. When I get back to our room, I find Peeta sitting on the couch thumbing through the Plant Book. The look on his face when I present him with the paper and pencil is priceless. He takes them and goes to work, with that look of intense concentration on his face that I love so much. After about twenty minutes he holds the first of his drawings up for me to see.

He's drawn the bakery. There's a picture of the storefront, with the sign Mellark's Bakery over the front door, next to a huge picture window with display cases behind it. Next to it is a layout of the first floor, with two huge ovens in the back behind the large counter for kneading dough and rolling out cookies, and the door separating the baking area from the actual store. He's even made room for a couple of tables and chairs in the front, so people can enjoy their bread and pastries right there in the store if they so choose.

But the best part is the layout of the upstairs. He's drawn the family apartment, with enough bedrooms for several children to share. He's even added a small room near the front that would make an excellent studio, with another large picture window to let in the natural light. The whole thing looks at least twice as big as the old bakery, and his eyes are beaming with pride as he shows it to me. "This, Katniss," he says happily. "This is what I'm fighting for."

"Peeta," I say, my eyes wide as I study the beautiful drawing. "It's so beautiful! But it's huge! How are we going to be able to run it by ourselves?"

He smiles, that sweet smile of his with just the touch of shyness that makes my knees feel weak. "Well, I figured other people that return to Twelve might need jobs, so I thought I could hire a few people to help me run it. I'd like to have some people from the Seam work for us, Katniss. To show them that the coal mines aren't the only option for them. That they can have choices. And I don't want our children to have the expectation that they'll have to take it over someday either. I want them to have choices too."

I lean up to kiss him. "And just how many kids do you think we'll be having?" I ask teasingly.

He smirks back at me. "Well," he says as he kisses my nose. "I'll take as many as you'll give me." I feel my breath catch in my throat as my deep down but ever-present fear takes over for a second. Peeta notices right away. "But for now," he says as his arms pulls me closer to him and his palm moves to rest over my slightly rounded belly. "For now, let's just concentrate on this one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoy comments, please let me know what you think!
> 
> Also, if anyone has any suggestions for toastbaby names, I'd love to hear them! :)


	6. District 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick trip to District 8, right?

PPOV

Katniss and I are standing in Thirteen's version of the Remake Room while Effie and two other people fuss and fret over us as we get ready to leave for Eight. Effie goes into a bit of a tizzy when it becomes obvious that the waist needs to be taken out a little on Katniss's uniform, but the seamstress that she summons is able to take care of it, so that crisis is averted. Effie also tries to apply the same type of makeup to us as we used to wear in the Capitol, but Boggs puts his foot down on that idea. "She's still a girl. You don't want her looking like she's thirty-five," he says in his gruff, no-nonsense voice. Effie looks like he suggested that we just cut Katniss's head off, but she complies eventually. The final look is one that seems to enhance Katniss's striking beauty rather than paint over it.

Since we'll be entering a combat zone they add on the extra armor that was included with the costumes. There's a fabric-like helmet that can be worn back like a hood when not needed. There's a vest to reinforce the protection over our vital organs, and Beetee even designed an extra component for Katniss to wear over her stomach. "We can't be too careful," he says as he fixes the new piece to her front. He winks up at me when he's done, and I try to smile my thanks, but it probably comes out as more of a grimace. I'll feel a lot better once this whole thing is over. I know Katniss was irritated with me yesterday, when I told Beetee that she wouldn't be going on any more missions, but that's one thing I'm going to absolutely insist upon. My nerves can't handle much more of this.

Effie and Haymitch attach the sheaths of arrows to our backs, with dividers separating out the regular arrows from the explosive and incendiary ones. I can't see us actually using any of them today, but I suppose it looks odd for us to be carrying bows without any arrows.

"All right dears, just the final touches and you'll be ready," Effie says, and she pins brand-new Mockingjay pins onto our suits. "There, now you're all set." Then she smiles and pats our shoulders before clicking her way out of the room. Only Effie could find a way to make the standard-issue, District 13 shoes click like her old high heels.

"All right then, let's go!" Boggs calls out. Gale, Haymitch, and Plutarch all file out of the room. Katniss looks at me and our hands automatically join. I know she knows how nervous I feel about this.

"We'll be okay," she says. "We protect each other, right?"

My eyes immediately blur with unshed tears. "Yeah," I whisper.

"Are you guys coming?" Gale says impatiently, poking his head back into the Remake Room. "We're heading out!"

Katniss scowls at him. "Yes we're coming. Just give us a minute!" Then she slides her hands up around my neck and reaches up onto her tiptoes to kiss my cheekbones. "It's only a quick trip," she says. "We'll be back before dinner. And I have to say, you look very handsome in that uniform."

Her unexpected compliment makes me laugh, and when she smiles back at me I lean down to kiss her forehead. "All right then, we'd better go."

Gale is outside the room tapping his foot when we emerge, and we hurry to catch up to the rest of the group, now including the camera crew and Rye and Madge, who has assembled near the elevators. We all pile into a special elevator that takes us down to another hangar, which is different from the one that we saw when we went to Twelve. This one seems to house all kinds of different hovercrafts, as well as row after row of large, military weapons and missiles.

"You guys had all of this," I say to Boggs. "And you left the rest of us to fend for ourselves?" I can't hide the irritation in my voice, and I feel Katniss squeeze my hand. "Those of us in Twelve had no way to defend ourselves when the Capitol attacked us. And we were always taught that District Thirteen was destroyed!"

"It's not that simple," Boggs shoots back. "We were in no position to launch a counterattack until recently. We could barely stay alive. After we'd overthrown and executed the Capitol's people, there were only a handful of us who even knew how to pilot. We could've nuked them with missiles, yes. But there's always the larger question: if we engage in that type of war with the Capitol, would there be any human life left?"

I shake my head vehemently. "No. There always has to be another way besides complete annihilation. There should always be another way to work out our differences. One that doesn't include sending kids into the Hunger Games." I see Katniss purse her lips together at the mention of the Hunger Games.

Rye and Madge are walking in front of us and passing a sheet of paper back and forth as we arrive at the hovercraft. I sit down next to Boggs once we've boarded, hoping to continue our conversation, and Katniss straps herself into a seat next to me. She watches out the window as we're lifted slowly up to a sort of landing platform surrounded by woods. I see her eyes widen as she briefly sees the woods outside, before we rise up off the platform and become wrapped up in clouds.

"So," I say, turning back to Boggs. "Tell me exactly what it's going to take to win this war, and what will happen when we do."

Boggs takes a deep breath before launching into a detailed description. First of all, every district is currently at war with the Capitol except for District 2, which for some reason doesn't surprise me. They've always seemed to have a favored relationship with the Capitol, even though they too are required to participate in the Hunger Games. They get more food and better living conditions. After the Dark Days and the supposed destruction of Thirteen, Two became the Capitol's new center of defense. Although it's publicly presented as the home of Panem's stone quarries, Two not only manufactures weaponry, it also trains and even supplies some of the Peacekeepers.

"I thought all of the Peacekeepers were from the Capitol?" Katniss says. I hadn't realized she was trying to listen to us.

Plutarch chuckles from across the aisle. "That's what you're supposed to think," he says. "Some of them do come from the Capitol, as it's an awfully tempting solution to the massive amounts of debt that many Capitol citizens find themselves in. But the Capitol's population could never sustain a force of that size, and the life of a Peacekeeper isn't all that great, really. Joining the Peacekeeper corps requires a twenty-year commitment, and there's no marriage or children allowed. Although, many of the longer-term Peacekeepers tend to take on mistresses."

Katniss shudders, probably remembering our old Head Peacekeeper, Cray, and the line of starving, desperate girls that would show up at his door every night after dark. I immediately wonder if Katniss ever felt that desperate, and my arm goes around her waist as she leans into me at the same time. Her soft grey eyes flick up to meet mine, only for a second, and the look I see in them makes my blood run cold as my free hand clenches into a fist. She had been almost that desperate. One cold, rainy evening in April, a few weeks before she turned twelve.

"Never again," I whisper into her ear. She nods once, but doesn't look up at me.

"But it's really not all that surprising," Plutarch continues. "The people in Two are raised with a warrior's mindset. You've all seen how eager their children are to volunteer to be tributes."

Katniss nods, remembering no doubt the District Two tributes from our Games, both of whom almost killed the two of us. Cato wounded my leg, and Clove wounded Katniss when she went to get my badly-needed medicine for my leg wound. And watching Brutus in the Quell, well, you would've thought he was a professional killer. "But all the other districts are on our side?" I ask.

"Yes. Our goal is to take over the districts one by one, ending with District Two, thus cutting off the Capitol's supply chain. Then, once it's weakened, we invade the Capitol itself," Boggs says. "And that will be a whole other type of challenge," and he raises his eyebrows and exhales slowly.

"If we win," Katniss says from my side. "Who'll be in charge of the government?"

Plutarch smiles. "Everyone!" he says, in grandiose fashion. "We're going to form a republic, where people from each district can elect their own representatives, along with the Capitol. Each district will have their own voice in a new, centralized government."

"And no more Hunger Games," Katniss says.

Plutarch smiles again and shakes his head. "No, of course not."

"I'll believe that when I see it," Haymitch announces from his seat next to Gale. "That kind of government always sounds good, but does it really work?"

Plutarch laughs. "Of course it works! It's worked before, and we can make it work again."

Haymitch doesn't look convinced, but stays quiet for the rest of the trip. "And if we lose?" I ask warily.

"If we lose?" Plutarch looks out the window for a few seconds, and an ironic smile twists his lips. "Then I would expect next year's Hunger Games to be quite unforgettable." The way he says it sends a chill up my spine, and I hug Katniss closer to me, not letting go of her until we start to land.

Boggs has us all standing and ready to disembark as soon as the hovercraft touches down, and it ascends again almost immediately and disappears. Haymitch's voice appears suddenly in my ear. "I'm watching from right above you guys, so just do what you came to do and then let's get out of here." I couldn't agree more.

Boggs hustles us off the road toward a row of warehouses as a second hovercraft comes in for a landing. This one brings several crates of medical supplies and a team of six medics, all wearing similar uniforms to the one I've seen Prim wearing in the hospital back in Thirteen. We all follow Boggs down an alley that runs between two dull grey warehouses. Only the occasional access ladder to the roof interrupts the scarred metal walls. When we reach the last warehouse in the row, with a sloppily painted H above the doorway, where the wounded are still being brought in from the bombings a few days ago, Katniss stops and turns to Boggs.

"They can't film me in here," she says, her face looking a little peaked. "I won't be any good here. I can't help them." I mentally kick myself. I should have known that going to a hospital and visiting with sick and injured people would be difficult for Katniss. It was all she could do to take care of me in the arena and then again after my flogging without losing her cool.

I put my free hand on her shoulder. "Hey, hey, look at me," I say softly. Her worried grey eyes look into mine. "They just need to see you. I'll do all the talking, okay?" Katniss swallows heavily and nods.

"Just seeing you both will do more for them than any doctor in the world could," Boggs adds next to us. "Remember, they all think you both are dead. You have no idea how inspiring both of your stories are."

"Okay," Katniss whispers, and slides her fingers down to interlock with mine. I give her hand a reassuring squeeze as a tall and slender woman sees Madge and starts walking towards our group. The woman does a sort of double-take as she sees Katniss and me. Her dark brown eyes are puffy with fatigue and there's a blood-soaked bandage around her throat that probably should have been changed a few days ago. With a jerk of her thumb, she orders the medics into the warehouse, and they comply without hesitation.

"This is Commander Paylor of Eight," Boggs says. "Commander, you know Madge Mellark. This is her husband and assistant, Rye, and these," and he moves Katniss and I to the front of the group. "These are Peeta and Katniss Mellark."

Paylor looks young to be a commander. Early thirties I'd guess. But there's an authoritative tone to her voice that makes me think her appointment wasn't arbitrary. I feel almost ashamed standing next to her in my shiny new uniform.

"Yeah, I definitely recognized you both," she says. "Madge here told me you two would be visiting. Lots of Mellarks here in Eight today."

"Katniss and I thought we would visit with some of your wounded," I say, holding tightly to Katniss's hand and clutching my bow with the other.

"Well, we've got plenty of those," Paylor says bitterly. "Any encouragement you can give them would be welcome. The Capitol's done everything they can to try and break us."

"Do you think this is a good idea?" Gale says from behind me, his shiny new crossbow cradled in his hands. He's frowning in the direction of the hospital. "Assembling your wounded like this?" I was wondering the same thing. There's no way people could actually heal under these conditions.

"I think it's slightly better than leaving them to die," Paylor replies shortly. "And since Madge and I can't seem to convince Coin to evacuate anyone, then unless you have a better solution, I suggest you keep your thoughts to yourself." Then she points to Katniss and me, standing with the camera crew. "Come on in, Mockingjays."

Katniss gulps as we walk past a heavy, industrial curtain that's hanging the length of the building. There are corpses lying side by side, with white cloths over their faces. "We've got a mass grave started a few blocks away from here," Paylor says. "But I can't spare the manpower to move them yet." I see Madge making some notes on her paper as Paylor finds a slit in the curtain and pulls it aside.

Katniss's fingers tighten again around my own. "Do not leave my side," she says under her breath.

"I never will," I reply quietly.

We step through the curtain and I hear Katniss make a gagging sound. I wrap my arm around her waist as I fight the impulse to cover my nose, to block out the stench of soiled linen, rotting flesh, and human vomit and waste. They've propped oven skylights in the high metal roof to try and get some air moving, but in the late August heat there is little air around to be moving. As we move further, my eyes can make out row after row of wounded. Lying on cots or pallets, or just on the floor as they've run out of places to put them. The drone of black flies, combined with the moaning and sobbing of people in pain, assaults my ears. I can see Paylor looking at us out of the corner of my eye. She's gauging us, trying to see if we're really the proud, invincible Hunger Games Victors that she was promised. I take a deep breath through my mouth and lead Katniss further into the warehouse.

"Peeta? A-and Katniss?" a voice croaks out from our right. "Is it really you? We thought you were dead!" I feel a hand clasp my right calf, and follow it down to a young woman lying on a cot with a badly injured leg. Blood has seeped through the heavy bandage, which is crawling with flies.

I crouch down to look at her. "Yes, we're here and we're both alive," I say gently. "And we're both very happy to meet you."

An expression of unmistakable joy crosses over her face. "People kept saying you were dead! I mean, we all watched Katniss die in the Quell, or so we thought."

"She was badly injured," I say. "Just like you. But she survived, and got better, and you will too. Because we're all stronger than the Capitol thinks we are."

Tears are streaming down the woman's face as she smiles up at me. "There's someone else here who'd love to meet you both," she says as she gets up and gently pokes a young boy lying on the cot next to hers. "Jonathan, wake up! Look who's here! It's Miss Katniss, from the Quell!"

The boy Jonathan looks to be about four or five years old and has a bandage wrapped around his head, covering one of his eyes. Something about him looks vaguely familiar. I hear a sharp intake of breath from Katniss and she releases my hand to brush his matted, dark brown curls off of his forehead. "You-you're Cecelia's boy, aren't you?" she whispers.

The boy nods his head. "Yesh," he says quietly. "Ceshela is my mommy. And she told me before she went away that you were a real nice girl. And she was right, you were really nice to her."

Tears immediately spill down over Katniss's cheeks as she cradles the little boy's face in her hand. "Your mommy was very brave," she whispers to him. "She saved my life, and she told me that she loved you very much."

"Where's his father?" I ask the young woman. "And his siblings? Are they here too?"

She shakes her head. "His daddy was killed a few months before the Quell. The factory where he worked exploded one day, killing everyone inside. There were rumors that he was trying to lead a resistance of the factory workers there. Cecelia was sure that's why she'd be reaped for the Quell. I was her older son's teacher at school, and I've been taking care of Jonathan since the bombings. But I'm not sure where his brother and sister are. I know they're not here in this hospital, so I'm hoping that they're somewhere safe."

Katniss leans down and kisses Jonathan's forehead, before caressing his cheek a couple more times as his uncovered eye closes again. "He's still pretty sleepy from his injuries," the teacher says. "But he's a fighter, just like his parents were. Just like you guys are."

"It was wonderful to meet you both," I say as we stand back up. I place my hand on Katniss's back to try and get her moving, but her feet seem to be planted into the cement next to Jonathan's cot. "C'mon love, we should keep moving."

"Peeta," she whispers, tears still running down her face. "That little boy... he has no parents left. I wish we could take him with us."

I reach around her with my arm and pull her to me for a quick hug. "I know. But he'll be okay. There's people that care for him here." She nods, but doesn't look convinced as she looks back at him.

But we don't have any more time to dwell on it as the sound of our names begins to ripple through the hot, still air of the warehouse. Heads rise up from their cots, and those who are able stand to their feet as we pass, begging us to shake their hands or let them touch us, their voices chanting our names in awe. District 8 obviously has been fans of us from the beginning, from when Katniss pulled out those berries in our arena, or even maybe before then. We were their Mockingjays long before we accepted the role. And this, this power that we posses, is exactly what Snow is so afraid of. Even Coin seems to be a little afraid of us. There's no way she would have agreed to all of our conditions the other day if she wasn't somewhat afraid of what we're capable of.

Finally we make it through the entire hospital and back outside. I take a couple of deep breaths while Katniss downs some water. "You both did great," Boggs says. "That's exactly what was needed here today."

"Yes, we got some great stuff in there," Cressida adds. Castor and Pollux, the two cameramen, are perspiring heavily under their insect-like camera equipment, while Messalla stands off to the side, scribbling notes. I had forgotten we were being filmed.

"Is it like this in every district?" Katniss asks as Rye and Madge make their way back over to our group with Commander Paylor.

Madge nods her head. "From what I've seen, talking with the other districts, it's all pretty much like this. We're trying to organize enough aid for everyone, but President Coin's opinion on what's important sometimes differs from ours," and she points between Paylor and herself.

"Peeta!" I hear suddenly in my ear, at the exact same time as a klaxon alarm starts to sound across the district. Boggs and Gale immediately ready their weapons and step in front of Katniss and me. "There's a problem," Haymitch says into my earpiece.

"Incoming bombers!" Boggs yells, grabbing Katniss's arm as Gale grabs a hold of mine. I can hear the rumble of the bombers off in the distance as my heart starts to pound. My only instinct right now is to get Katniss to safety.

"There's a bunker over in that building," Paylor says as she points with her weapon. "Follow me."

I yank Katniss's helmet up over her head as we follow Paylor across the alley and into another abandoned warehouse just as the first wave of bombs hits the nearby buildings. The shockwave of the bomb hitting knocks everyone to the asphalt and I immediately roll my body over to cover Katniss, who's leaning against the wall of the building. It's only a couple of seconds before I hear a huge cracking sound.

"Move!" Gale yells, yanking on the back of my vest as I pull Katniss up with me. "The walls are collapsing! Get to the bunker!"

I push Katniss in front of me as we start to run in the direction of the bunker, but then as we round a corner another wave of bombs hits and we're knocked to the ground again. This time Katniss doesn't wait for me to help her up. Instead, she pushes against me as she stands up and starts running in the opposite direction.

"KATNISS!" I scream at her, moving to follow as Boggs grabs my forearm.

"The bunker's this way," he says as he starts to drag me away. I see Gale take off running after Katniss.

"No! I'm not leaving her!" I yell, as I hear Haymitch's voice in my ear telling me that they can't land to pick us up until the raid is over.

"Let Gale handle Katniss," Boggs says. "You just get to safety!"

"Like hell!" I cry, struggling against Boggs' iron-like grip on my arm. Rye appears suddenly on my other side and grabs my other arm as another bomb hits, this time a little further away.

"The bombers apparently are targeting the hospital," Haymitch says into my earpiece.

"Oh no," I whisper. That must be why Katniss ran away. The Capitol's going after the sick and wounded and defenseless. Like District 12. Like Jonathan, an injured little boy with no parents left. A feel a surge of adrenaline flow through me as I shake Rye's hand off my arm and elbow Boggs in the face to break loose from his grasp. Then I take off running back in the direction of the hospital.

"Katniss!" I cry as I see her in the distance, scaling a ladder that leads to the roof of the adjoining building. I start to follow her as another bomb hits, causing part of the roof to cave in and collapse in large pieces around me and knocking me back onto the floor as Gale catches up with me and shields me with his body.

"Where's Katniss?" he asks me.

"I thought you were following her!" I yell, pushing him off of me. "She went up onto the roof of the next building!"

I try to stand up once the roof stops falling but find that my prosthesis is now trapped under a huge piece of debris. If it'd been my real leg my entire foot and ankle would've been crushed. I look up in panic as I hear the planes approaching overhead and watch as a single arrow flies towards them, exploding as it lands on the wing of the right-hand plane, causing it to veer sharply and hit its counterpart. Gale and I both watch in fascination as the two planes spin out of control and crash onto the top of yet another warehouse. As the noise dissipates and the dust slowly settles, I hear the alarm stop ringing.

"Katniss!" I yell, hoping she'll hear me. I struggle furiously against the chunk of broken roof holding down my prosthetic leg. "Damnit Gale, help me!"

Gale locates the cement piece covering my fake foot and ankle and starts to lift just as Rye and Boggs rush up to us, blood pouring out of Boggs' nose. They finally are able to lift the huge piece off of me and I scramble to my feet, stumbling at first on my now badly misshapen left foot. I take off as fast as I can towards the ladder and climb up to find Katniss on her knees, bent over and leaning on one arm as she clutches her bow to her chest with the other. She's crying, and starts to scream as I rush towards her.

"Peeta! They've destroyed the hospital! Snow attacked them, and they couldn't even fight back!" Then she collapses against me as my arms wrap around her.

"Peeta," Cressida's voice suddenly says from next to me. I hadn't even seen her come up onto the roof. "We've just received word that President Snow aired this raid live, to send a message to the rebels. Is there anything you'd like to say to respond to that?"

I can barely think over the fury that's coursing through my body right now. Fury at President Snow for attacking innocent and helpless people. Fury at President Coin for ordering us to come here in the first place and putting Katniss in danger. And fury at Katniss for running off alone to defend all of us against two hoverbombers, while seemingly ignoring the fact that she could have gotten herself and our baby killed.

"Yes," I say, as calmly as I can manage. I wrap my arm around Katniss and pull her to her trembling feet. Then I look right at the blinking red light on one of the cameras. "Yes. I want to tell the rebels that we are alive. Both of us. That Katniss survived the Quarter Quell, and I survived the destruction of District Twelve. And right now we're in District 8, where the Capitol has just bombed a hospital full of unarmed men, women, and children. There will be no survivors. So if you think for one second that the Capitol will ever treat us fairly, then you're deluding yourself!" I turn to sweep my arm around to indicate the fires now raging out of control around us. "Because this is what they do. And the time has come to fight back!" One of the cameras follows me as I point to the destroyed bombers burning across the way from us. "One person took down those planes! One person! And if one person can take down two Capitol bombers, just imagine what we could do, if we all unite together!"

I gasp for breath as my words ring out over the roof. "Cut!" Cressida's voice calls out, snapping me back to reality. She smiles and nods at me. "That's a wrap."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think, I so very much appreciate your comments! And keep the baby name suggestions coming, I think this is almost as hard as choosing the names for my own kids! :)


	7. Propos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the visit to District Eight.

KPOV

I can sense the bright lights and smell the disinfectant even before I open my eyes. My lower right leg is stinging, my head is throbbing, and I can feel the pressure of fluid tubes running into my arms. I must be back in the hospital.

I blink open my eyes and turn my head, feeling another twinge of pain race across my temples. As my vision clears I can make out Peeta sitting in a chair next to my bed. He's still dressed in his Mockingjay uniform, which is covered in grime and dust. His face is dusty too, but it's smeared, like he tried to brush it away with his hands. He's holding my hand, but his jaw is clenched and his eyes are watching one of the monitors intently.

"Peeta," I say tentatively.

He inhales sharply, like I've startled him, but doesn't otherwise move. He just keeps staring at the monitor like he didn't hear me. I repeat his name, and his fingers interlaced with my own twitch a little, but still he doesn't move. Finally, after a couple more minutes of silence, he clears his throat slightly. "You were right," he says quietly, like he's trying to control his temper.

"About what?" I ask. I'm so confused and frustrated already by his cold and distant behavior that if my head wasn't pounding I'd probably be yelling at him by now, and I've never yelled at him in anger.

He finally turns his head to look at me, and the expression in his blue eyes makes me gasp. They look tired, yes, but more importantly, they look scared. And angry. In all that we've been through, I've never seen a look quite like this in his eyes before.

"The baby's a boy," he says, and I can feel his hand that's holding mine start to tremble as his lower lip starts to quiver, causing my heart to pound like it's trying to escape out of my chest.

"Peeta," I choke. "Is he okay? Please tell me he's okay!"

His eyes finally soften a little. "Yes," he says as a sob escapes his throat and his fingers tighten around mine. "Yeah, he's fine." I let out a ragged breath as Peeta brings my hand up to his lips. Then he leans closer to me. Close enough for me to smell the dust and grime on him. I see his eyes flick back up to the monitor for a second before looking intently into my own.

"Your mom couldn't find his heartbeat, Katniss," he says, his voice quavering. "You passed out in my arms once we got back onto the hovercraft, and Gale had to dig out a three inch piece of shrapnel from your leg. Your mom was waiting for us when we got back here. She tried for fifteen minutes to find the baby's heartbeat, and she couldn't. She couldn't find it! So they finally grabbed that ultrasound machine to see what was going on, and apparently he was just hiding in the corner or something, like he'd been scared. And I can't really blame him. I can't imagine how loud all those explosions were to his little ears. But he's alive, and he's okay."

"Oh my God," I whisper as tears drip out of my eyes. "So how do you know he's a boy?"

The slightest of smiles appears on Peeta's lips. "Well, let's just say I'll have to have a talk with him someday about his lack of modesty."

A laugh forces its way from my chest, making my head twinge in pain again. "Oh!" I say quietly. "Like you're one to talk about modesty, Mr. I-don't-care-if-you-see-me, while we're in the middle of the freaking Hunger Games!"

Peeta smirks and tilts his head. "Well, still. He looked awfully proud of himself in there, scaring me to death and then just lounging around like nothing was wrong." Then his expression turns serious again. "But seriously Katniss, what the hell were you thinking, running away from me like that while we were under attack?"

I turn my head away, unable to look into his accusatory gaze. He's right of course. I could've easily been injured much worse than I was. Or even killed, which would've killed our son as well. Peeta has every right to be upset.

"I don't know," I whisper. "I was just so angry, Peeta. Those people in that hospital were innocent, they were just people who were injured. And the Capitol attacked them! And little Jonathan... now he's dead! He was just a little boy, Peeta! I just got mad and I wanted to hurt them back for a change."

Peeta leans even closer and turns my face to look at him. "That's all well and good, Katniss. And your desire to want to help people is one of the many things I love about you. But you have to remember that your actions don't just effect you anymore. You have to think about me, and about our son now. He needs you, Katniss. And I-". He stops talking as he scrubs at his eyes with his palm, smearing more of the grime around his face. "I'm not... I'm not strong-" and he cuts off as he breaks down sobbing, clutching my hand to his lips.

I lean over and run my fingers through his messy hair. "What do you mean, you're not strong?" I say gently. "You're one of the strongest people I've ever known!"

He shakes his head, my hand still pressed to his lips. "No," he whispers. "I'm not. I'm not strong enough to lose you again. Back in the cave during our Games, when I woke up and you were lying in a pool of your own blood. And then at the end of the Quell-". He breaks off as another wave of sobs overtakes him. I can feel tears pouring down my own cheeks as my fingers move through his hair.

"I can't do that anymore, Katniss," he chokes. "I can't go through that again. If I ever lost you again, I wouldn't survive it." He places his other hand over my belly. "You, and him, you're all I have."

I nod my head slowly, so as to keep it from throbbing again. "Okay Peeta," I say. "I'm so sorry, I didn't think..."

He kisses my hand again. "I know you didn't. You don't think sometimes, you just act. That's probably a good instinct to have when you're a hunter. But right now, I need you to not be a hunter. I need you to not be a Mockingjay. I need you to be just Katniss. I need you to be my wife, and our son's mommy. And that means I need you to stay here, where you'll be out of danger. Which means..." and his voice gets louder as I open my mouth to speak. "Which means, I can't have you going on any more missions. We have a meeting in an hour with President Coin and the whole group from yesterday, and I want to tell them that they can send me out again if they want, but you're not going anywhere anymore. Not until this whole thing is over."

My mouth, which was open in anticipation of trying to argue with him, clamps shut. It's on the tip of my tongue to tell him no, that I should continue to go on missions, that we should continue to be seen together. That I don't want to be left behind if he has to leave. That I want to stay with him, to protect him. But as I look into his beautiful blue eyes, shimmering with tears and pleading with me to hear him, I bite the words back and just nod my head.

"Okay," I say. Peeta's eyebrows raise in surprise. He probably thought he'd have a longer argument to have to make. But I won't argue with him anymore. "Okay. We'll tell Coin exactly that when we get there."

Peeta's lips stretch into a smile. "Yeah?" he says.

I smile back at him. "Yeah. You're right." And then the smile drops from my face as I reach up to rub his dirty cheekbone. "I'm so sorry for scaring you like that."

He leans into my hand and closes his eyes. "Just as long as you never do it again, okay?"

"Okay."

Just then the door to my room bursts open, and O'Connor and my mother come inside. "Ah, she's finally awake," O'Connor says as she walks over to me and adjusts one of the tubes running into my scarred right arm. "Let's see if you can eat now, shall we?"

"What time is it?" I ask as my mother moves my blankets aside to examine my stomach.

"It's almost 8 am," Mom says, as she pulls her Doppler out and places it on my belly. Almost immediately the sound of our son's heart beating fills the room, and I see Peeta's shoulders slump in relief. "We can remove the external heart monitor now," Mom says to O'Connor. "I can find him easily on the Doppler again." Then she turns to Peeta with a stern look on her face. "And when were you planning on telling me that you two were going off on a mission to another district? There's no way I would've cleared Katniss to go if I'd known about this ahead of time."

Peeta and I look at each other guiltily. Neither one of us even thought to mention any of this to my mom. "I'm so sorry," Peeta says to her. "I guess it just slipped both our minds."

Mom's expression softens a little. "I know you do an excellent job of taking care of her, Peeta," she says. "But I'd still like to be told when she's being taken out of the district from now on."

"You won't have to worry about that," I say. "Peeta's made it clear that I won't be going on any more missions for a while."

"Well good," Mom says as she straightens the blankets back over me. "Then he and I are in agreement. And now Peeta, I think you should go and get cleaned up while Katniss has something to eat."

Peeta blinks at the abrupt dismissal but doesn't protest. "I'll just go shower and change real quick," he says. Then he bends down to kiss my forehead and reaches behind him, pulling out a pair of crutches before standing up and hobbling out of the room.

"Why's he on the crutches again?" I ask my mom as O'Connor starts to remove the IV tubes from my arms and drags the little table over to my bed.

"He said he got stuck under a piece of falling debris during the bombing in Eight," Mom replies. "Crushed the foot of his prosthetic leg. Beetee's working to repair it now, but Katniss," and her voice takes on the stern quality again. "Katniss, I've never seen him so upset as he was when I couldn't find the baby's heartbeat. You can't do that to him again, do you understand me? He stayed here all night while you slept, just sitting in that chair and watching the baby's heart monitor."

I slump my head against the pillows. "Yeah, I understand," I whisper. "We've already talked about it."

"Hmm," Mom says. "He wasn't the only one upset, either. I had to send Prim out of the room while we were working on you."

"Okay, I get it," I say impatiently. I've definitely had enough of this conversation. "I've already said that I'm done going on missions, okay?"

She cups my face with her hand then. "I'm not trying to make you feel guilty," she says. "I just want you to understand how much you mean to a lot of people."

I nod my head gingerly as O'Connor returns with my breakfast tray, which is just a disappointing cup of warm milk and two small pieces of bread. "If you're able to hold this down, I'll clear you to eat the regular meals from now on," Mom says.

I take a bite of the bread, wishing so badly that I could transform it into one of Peeta's cheese buns. "And when can I leave here?" I ask.

"We'll see how you tolerate this meeting you need to attend," Mom replies.

Peeta comes back into the room just as I finish eating, his face scrubbed clean and his blond hair still damp from his shower. Now that all the dust and grime has been washed from his face, I can see just how tired and drained he looks.

"You need a nap," I tell him as he leans down for a kiss.

He smirks at me. "Thanks."

"You guys ready to go?" Gale's voice says suddenly from the doorway. "They're ready for us down in Command."

I grab Peeta's shirt and pull him back down for another kiss, winking at him as he pulls away. "Yeah, we're ready," I say as I slide my legs over the side of the bed. I immediately lean back against the pillows as a wave of dizziness washes over me.

"Katniss, maybe we should wait," Peeta says. "I think you should rest a bit more-"

"She'll be fine," Gale says, pushing a wheelchair over to me. "She can ride in this."

I scowl at him, not really wanting him around right now, especially with Peeta giving him a death glare behind his back, but somehow I think it'll just cause more trouble if we refuse. I slide into the wheelchair and Gale pushes me while Peeta hobbles along on his crutches next to me. We reach Command and find the camera crew and Plutarch already seated.

"Ah!" Plutarch exclaims. "Our stars have arrived! Just wait until you see what we've put together!"

Peeta grimaces as he takes the seat next to the wheelchair just as Coin and Boggs come into the room. I'm surprised to see Boggs wearing some kind of brace over his nose and his eyes looking swollen. Peeta looks down sheepishly when he sees him.

"Did you do that?" I whisper to him.

"Yeah," he replies. "He was, um, trying to stop me from going after you, and I got a little upset about it."

I squeeze his hand sympathetically as Coin calls the meeting to order. "The film crew has put together the first of our series of propos that we're calling our Airtime Assaults. Beetee was able to get this propo aired yesterday for the first time at 2200, and it has aired seven times since then. We've been able to reach every single district. For those of you who haven't had a chance to see it, we'll begin by replaying it."

It really is a masterpiece, especially given the limited amount of time the crew had to put it together before its first airing last night. A voice-over, emphasizing the real-life love story of the District 12 Star-Crossed Lovers is first, using the voice of Claudius Templesmith of all people to provide narration for the piece. Then there's footage of Peeta and me walking through the hospital and talking with the patients, including little Jonathan. Then the camera cuts to an explosion as the first of the bombs hit the warehouses surrounding the hospital, and footage of the hospital collapsing in on itself. I feel Peeta squeezing my hand tightly when I'm shown climbing up the ladder and shooting my explosive arrow at the two hoverplanes, causing them both to crash. Now that I can see it, it really does look reckless of me, as that roof I was standing on could've collapsed at any time. The propo ends with Peeta's impassioned speech about uniting together, and the screen fades to black as the word UNITE appears in fancy block letters.

"And this aired in every district?" I ask. "What about the Capitol?"

"Not in the Capitol," Plutarch replies. "We haven't been able to override their system yet, but Beetee says he's close to it. But it did air in every district, including Two, which may be even more valuable than the Capitol right now."

Everyone is so excited about the outcome of this propo that no one seems to remember how many people actually died yesterday. Or the fact that Peeta broke the nose of one of our guards in order to run after me, which obviously wasn't in the game plan.

Finally President Coin reaches the end of her tolerance for the frivolity at the table and clears her throat. "Yes, all these congratulations are well deserved, and the message seems to be having the desired effect, from what Madge has told us about the feel in the districts following the airings. But the question now is, what do we do next?"

There's a moment of silence in the room as everyone looks around at each other. "Well," Plutarch finally says. "I guess we have to decide now where we should go next."

"Well, see, that's just it," Peeta breaks in. "Katniss and I have decided that she's not going on anymore missions like that. So you'll just have to make due with the footage of her that you've gotten already."

I glance around the table hesitantly, expecting to hear protests. But surprisingly there are none, not even from Gale. Finally Boggs speaks up. "I agree with Peeta," he says, his voice off slightly from the brace over his nose. "I think we were a bit arrogant to think that we could get in and out of there yesterday completely unscathed, and it might not be the best idea to have both of our Mockingjays always in the same place. We might get more mileage out of them if we do separate propos."

"As long as Katniss is kept here, where she's out of danger," Peeta says. "You can still send me places if you need to, but not Katniss."

"But I don't want you going anywhere without me," I say quickly, ignoring the pointed look on Peeta's face. "Why can't we just both do more of the propos here?"

Plutarch looks like he's thinking hard. "Yes," he says, tapping the eraser of his pencil on the table. "I am rather concerned about how the Capitol knew that they should attack Eight yesterday, especially since they had so little to gain by bombing a hospital full of wounded people. So perhaps lying lower for a little while would be better, to see if we can flush out any possible communication leaks."

My eyebrows fly up at the thought of there potentially being a spy somewhere in Thirteen, reporting our every movement back to the Capitol. I don't know why it hadn't crossed the minds of the others in this room before. Surely someone like Coin or Boggs would've thought of that?

"Okay, that's even more reason for Katniss to stay here," Peeta says. "Beetee, you're sure that your signals aren't being picked up by the Capitol somehow? Madge, you're sure that all of your district reps are loyal?"

Both Madge and Beetee nod their heads after a moment. "Nothing of course is foolproof," Beetee says. "And I will go over everything with a fine-tooth comb once we leave here, but right now I can't imagine how anyone else could piggyback onto our signals."

"All right then," Coin says. "So what do we do next?"

Cressida looks down at a piece of paper in front of her. "We still have some great footage of Katniss and Peeta from the hospital in Eight that we haven't used yet. I thought we could intercut that with some footage of the reapings from their Games, especially the Quell reaping, because it shows how little the Capitol values the lives of people in the districts. Then we thought we could prepare a piece with a different feel, showing some of Katniss and Peeta's best moments from their Games. For example, when Peeta showed mercy instead of killing that tribute from Eight, and how Katniss was allied with tributes from other districts in both of her Games. That would fit well with the UNITE theme."

"What about airing a show to honor all of the recent fallen tributes?" Rye pipes up. I'd almost forgotten he was in the room with us, he'd been so uncharacteristically quiet. "Like Rue from Eleven, and Cecelia from Eight. You guys could come up with something personal for each district, couldn't you?"

"Yes!" Plutarch exclaims as Messalla starts scribbling on his ever-present notepad. "I love that idea, it's brilliant!"

"Very well," Coin says. "It sounds like we all have a lot of work to do, let's get started on it." And she stands up and sweeps out of the room.

Gale wheels me back down to the hospital with Peeta following along on his crutches. I end up falling asleep for the next several hours, missing lunch and the delivery of Peeta's repaired prosthesis from Beetee. After that, Mom decides that I should stay through the night, just for observation, but does allow Peeta to crawl into the bed with me after we both eat dinner. He's just cuddled up next to me with his palm resting on my belly when the overhead television clicks on. At first it's just a replay of the propo that we saw earlier. Then a new propo follows, which is one using the footage from our reapings. I bury my face into Peeta's neck when the Quell reaping comes on, not wanting to watch the part where Peeta gets bashed in the back of his head by the Peacekeeper. I hope all the people that see this one understand how horrible it was.

The propo ends and the screen fades to black. I'm just relaxing my body against Peeta's and closing my eyes when we hear the TV click on again, and the seal of Panem appears for a few seconds before the image of Caesar Flickerman fills the screen. Just like last time, the three Victors from the Career districts are sitting with him, and although they look as perfectly styled and groomed as before, it's obvious that Gloss has lost some weight, as his collar seems looser around his neck, and he's fidgeting uncomfortably. Enobaria looks just as healthy and dangerous as ever, but poor Annie seems so nervous that the slightest noise seems to spook her and she keeps pulling painfully on her long, auburn hair. I feel Peeta's arms tighten around me as the interview begins.

"So tell me," Caesar says, directing his words at the three Victors. "Today we saw a program that seems to indicate that Katniss Everdeen did in fact survive the Quarter Quell, and, that she and Peeta Mellark are working for the rebels. Do any of you have any response to that? What sort of motivation would either of them have to help these rebels?"

Gloss pulls gingerly on his suit collar, but Enobaria cuts in before he can start to speak. "Well Caesar," she says. "It's obvious that these young Victors are being used to whip up the rebels. The enemy is taking advantage of the popularity of the Star-Crossed Lovers ploy to use them to further their cause. I doubt Katniss and Peeta could even comprehend what's being asked of them, or what's going on in the war."

"I'm so glad she has such a high opinion of our intelligence," Peeta says sarcastically.

"Well, we are from District 12, remember," I reply. "The smallest, the poorest, and probably thought of as the stupidest of the districts."

"That's such an interesting theory!" Caesar exclaims on the television. "Thank you so much for sharing your clever thoughts with us tonight, Enobaria." He sweeps his arm across the three Victors. "Do any of you have anything to add to Enobaria's statement?"

Annie looks down at the cuticle that she's been picking at during the last part of the interview, but Gloss surprises us by looking directly into the camera. "Yes," he says. "If I could, I'd tell them to not be foolish, and to try and think for themselves. That they're being used as weapons. And if they want to live happily ever after in their Star-Crossed Lovers way, then they should ask themselves if they can really trust the people that they're working with."

Something about his words makes my stomach drop. It seems like too much of a coincidence that this Victor in the Capitol would question whether or not Peeta and I can trust the people that are directing this rebellion, right after the question of a potential communications leak was raised earlier today. I can feel my teeth clenching. Peeta and I had been overheard for months in our bugged home in Twelve without our knowledge. Who's to refute the possibility that our conversations are still being recorded? That we are still being watched? Is there really anyone that we can truly trust? I turn my face back into Peeta's chest as he kisses the top of my head. Was there really no place in Panem where we could just live our lives? Where we could be just Katniss and Peeta, and not the Star-Crossed Lovers from the Hunger Games?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I've chosen a name for the toastbaby, but you won't find it out until he's born. ;). However, if you feel like you just can't wait, I've posted a little one-shot on tumblr that contains a couple of spoilers. Come and check it out! I'm geekymoviemom there too. :)
> 
> As always, I'm so very grateful for comments!


	8. Saying Somethings

PPOV

The sense that someone is watching me wakes me with a start, and I jump when I see Gale standing on the side of the hospital bed where Katniss is still curled around me.

"Geez Gale, what do you need now?" I say as I scrub at my eyes with my palm. "Can't you let us wake up first?"

"I've already been to your compartment looking for you, and then when you weren't at breakfast I decided to come and find you here," Gale replies, ignoring the fact that Katniss is still asleep. "We need both you and Katniss in Command. I'm sure you saw the propos that aired last night?"

I sigh in frustration as I try to untangle myself from Katniss. "Can't we just let her sleep? We were just in Command yesterday and she's still recovering!"

The smallest flash of sympathy appears on Gale's face for a second. "Look, I'm sorry. But we need to discuss again what to do next. We don't want the Capitol's broadcast to go unanswered, and we need to make sure that we answer in the right way."

I run my hand through my hair. "Fine," I say quietly. "But can you tell them to give us some time to get dressed and eat something first?"

"Yeah, I can do that," he says. "Is thirty minutes long enough?"

"That should work, thanks." Gale nods and exits the room as I exhale heavily, wondering what in the hell they're going to ask of us now.

I roll back towards Katniss and kiss her cheek. "We need to get up now, love. They need us in Command again."

Katniss breathes in and brings her arms up over her head to stretch, nearly hitting me in the chin in the process. Then she opens her eyes and scowls. "Right now?" she says incredulously. "We were just there!"

"I know," I say as I swing my legs over the side of the bed and reach for my prosthesis. "Apparently we need to respond to the Capitol's broadcast from last night."

Katniss mumbles something unintelligible as her dark-haired nurse comes in with her breakfast tray, which is the usual morning meal of porridge, water, and bread. The nurse doesn't offer me anything, and I don't ask, since technically I wasn't even supposed to be here through the night.

"You'd think, with the way they can't seem to do anything around here without our input, that they'd let you into the kitchens to make me some cheese buns every now and then," Katniss grumbles as she finishes her food. She pushes the tray table away and starts pulling on her hospital-issued leggings, being careful of the bandage wrapped around her right lower leg. "It's been so long since I've had one I've almost forgotten what they taste like, and that's just not okay with me."

I can't help the laugh that escapes my lungs as I stand up to help her to her feet. "Sometimes I think that you only keep me around for my cheese buns," I say, leaning down for a kiss.

Katniss smirks against my lips. "It's not the only reason, but it definitely helps," she says as she pulls my head down for another kiss. "Your kisses help too. And your hugs, and your gorgeous eyes and eyelashes, and..." She stops talking as I crush her to me.

"I don't deserve you," I mumble into her hair.

I feel her shake her head slightly. "No, you don't," she says. "You deserve someone so much better than me, but I'm afraid you're stuck with me now, because I'm not letting you go. Ever."

"There's no one I'd rather be stuck with," I say as I kiss the top of her head. "But we'd better head to Command now, or they'll send Gale back here to find us." I decide to leave out the fact that it was Gale who woke me up this morning.

"No," Katniss agrees. "We don't need that."

We reach Command about five minutes later, having finally memorized the way to get there. Everyone from yesterday is already seated around the long table.

"All right," Coin begins. "It would seem that the Capitol has decided to counter our propos with a new one of their own. I'd like to discuss ways to respond to this. And, since the propo mentioned both of our Mockingjays specifically, I'm curious about what they might have to say."

"I don't like how it was implied that just because Peeta and I are from District 12 that we don't know what we're doing," Katniss says. The stern, determined look on her face reminds me a lot of when she used to come to the bakery to trade. Seam pride, she called it. I can see Gale's lips tightening as he nods his agreement. "Enobaria made us sound like we were just tools being used as a means to an end, instead of real people who believe strongly in something."

"Hey," Rye says from his seat further down the table. "Enobaria wasn't only insulting you, Katniss. She was pretty much implying that anyone who lived in District 12 was a fool." A chorus of agreement floats up from the table.

"So maybe we should head to Twelve then?" Cressida says, looking up from her paper. Messalla begins scribbling on his notepad. "Show everyone what the Capitol did there. How they intended for there to be no survivors. How they specifically targeted both the Mayor's home and Peeta's home first, so as to eliminate who they assumed to be the strongest among you. That would shove their idea of Twelve being the weakest district right back in their face, and give the other districts a little morale boost in the process."

"That's a great idea!" Plutarch exclaims from his seat next to Coin. "They should be prepped to leave right away!"

"Now wait just a minute!" I yell, louder than I intended. Everyone stops talking and looks at me. "We decided last night that Katniss won't be going out of this district anymore, and I definitely haven't changed my mind on that." Katniss purses her lips but keeps quiet. "If you want to send me to Twelve again, that's fine. But not Katniss. And I'd like to wait until tomorrow, since Katniss hasn't even been officially discharged from the hospital yet."

"Tomorrow would be better, actually," Messalla says, looking up from his notes. "I think it would be more poignant if the interviews are unscripted, but I'd still like some time to plan out some camera angles and shots first."

"Madge and I would like to come as well," Rye says, reaching for Madge's hand on the tabletop. "Since she's the mayor's daughter, I think it would work well in the propo to have her seen. And, we haven't seen the devastation, and we'd like to pay our respects, since all of our parents were killed in the attack."

"I like that idea also," Plutarch says. Then he turns and gestures to Gale. "And make sure to emphasize how the man from the Seam made it one of his first goals to save the lives of the Merchants living in Victor's Village. Show the Capitol that the class divide that they fostered over all these years ended up failing in the end."

I look over at Gale as Katniss locks her fingers around my arm. Gale's jaw tenses as he swallows heavily. I really don't remember a whole lot from the night of the bombing. From what Rye has told me, I was pretty out of it until the morning afterwards. And somehow, I can't shake the thought that Gale only came to our house that night because he knew that's what Katniss would've wanted him to do. But regardless of his motives, Gale did save the lives of everyone in my house that night, as well as Katniss's mother, sister, and Haymitch, among countless others.

"Can you be ready to leave in the morning then, Mockingjay?" Coin says, looking right at me. Her pale grey eyes seem to be trying to bore a hole through me.

I set my jaw and nod. "What time will we leave?"

"0830, in the same hangar as last time," Boggs says. "You'll need to get prepped beforehand, so report to the Remake Room at 0730."

"And just to be safe," Beetee says. "Let's agree to keep this trip off of the communication lines between the districts until after they return. I still don't think there's any leaks that are happening, but we can't be too careful."

"Very well," Coin says. "In the meantime, I'd like the propos that we've made already to continue to run, at least one every hour. We need to wear down any remaining resistance in the rebelling districts before we can fully turn our attention to District Two."

I get up slowly from my chair, with Katniss grabbing my hand as soon as she can find it. I feel like the weight of the entire world is on my shoulders all of a sudden. We make our way back down to the hospital where, after a final examination by Mrs. Everdeen, Katniss is discharged and told very firmly to take it easy the rest of the day.

And we do. We don't bother getting our schedules imprinted, so we head down to the rec room for a while to see if I can find a chess set that isn't missing half of the pieces. Then after lunch we go back to our compartment for a nap, which ends when the horn sounds at the start of dinner. The conversation at dinner is quiet, punctuated only by Finnick telling us how happy he is to finally be allowed to contribute to the war effort, and hoping that it will bring us that much closer to rescuing Annie. Cressida had the brilliant idea for Finnick to narrate the series of propos about the Hunger Games tributes, since he either knew most of them or knew of them, and, according to Finnick, they are coming along splendidly. After he finishes his story, Johanna starts regaling us with stories about how good-looking her physical therapist is, and how much she's looking forward to kicking the Capitol's ass once she's released to start combat training.

"You should be the Mockingjay then," Katniss says after a while, starting to get annoyed with Johanna's rather blunt and incessant chatter. "Nobody would have to tell you what to do."

Johanna smirks. "Yeah, but nobody likes me," she says frankly. "I don't have the good looks of Blondie number one or number two, or Finnick, or Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome here. Or the quiet determination of you, Brainless. My story isn't all that interesting, and everyone loves a good story. So I'll just settle for what I can get and then move on with my miserable life once all this is over."

After that, the conversation pretty much stops until everyone's done eating.

We both fall asleep quickly that night but I find myself jerking awake multiple times, always with gasping breaths and clenched fists and waking Katniss in the process. I can't seem to escape the nightmares tonight. Over and over I see the firebombs hitting our home and then the bakery, killing my parents. I really haven't processed the deaths of my parents that much with everything else that's happened recently. I take a few deep breaths and close my eyes. Sleep finds me again but only for a short while, as this time in my dreams I see Katniss lying on her back in the Quell arena as the mutt flames eat away at her, trying to speak my name before the screen goes black.

I shoot up on the bed, sweat pouring down my face and gasping for air. Katniss slowly sits up and wraps her arms around me, running her fingers through my hair. "Not real, it's not real," she whispers over and over again, but it takes over fifteen minutes for me to calm down. Damn this compartment and its lack of a window.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Katniss whispers once we've laid back down.

"I don't know if it would help or make it worse," I rasp, clinging to her. She repositions us so my head is lying on her chest and places my hand on her stomach.

"Why don't you try, and then you just stop if you need to," she suggests after a couple of minutes. My muscles are starting to tremble with how tense I am.

I swallow hard a couple of times, trying to work around the huge lump in my throat. "I keep seeing our house hit by the firebomb," I mumble, bringing my lips up to her neck and inhaling the comforting scent of her hair. "And then the bakery. And then you, in the Quell. But the thing is I didn't see any of the bombs hit our house, or the bakery. I was so incapacitated that night that I'm surprised Rye and Gale were able to get me out of the house in time before it was hit. I don't remember hardly anything of that night. And I just keep thinking, what if they had gotten themselves killed because of me? Or, what if it took them so long to help me that they couldn't reach my parents in time? What if it's my fault that they're dead?"

Katniss is silent for a moment, running her fingertips over the uneven skin on my back and then through my hair before she kisses the top of my head. "I know I wasn't always the biggest fan of your mom, but somehow I don't think she would have reacted well to someone pounding on the back door of the bakery in the middle of the night. Especially if it was someone like Gale," she says. She kisses my head again. "And your dad, being the gentleman that he was, wouldn't just up and leave his wife either. So I don't think you can possibly blame yourself for them not making it, Peeta. And as for your brother, well, I don't think you understand just how much you mean to him."

I can't help but chuckle. "What do you mean? I'm just an annoyance to him most of the time."

She cups my face in her hands. "Look at me," she says, her voice serious. I find her beautiful grey eyes with my own. "I went to Rye at his wedding and asked him if he and Madge would look after you if I was reaped for the Quell...". I feel my throat start to thicken again at the mention of the Quell and I swallow hard. "And do you know what he said?"

I can only shake my head.

"He told me that he and Madge had already decided that they would move into our house while I was gone, to make sure that you'd be okay. He had an idea of how hard it would be for you, and he and Madge had already taken it upon themselves to try and help. He loves you, Peeta. And I know he doesn't blame you for what happened any more than I do. There's no way he would've left you behind that night. And I'm so, so thankful that he was with you, because otherwise you wouldn't be here now with me."

I shudder at that thought, and Katniss reaches up to press kisses to both of my cheekbones. "You've spent most of your life thinking that you weren't worth anything. That you weren't loved. But that's not true at all. You're loved, Peeta, by so many people. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes. Our son loves you. Rye loves you. Haymitch loves you. And your dad loved you, and probably your mom too, even if she didn't know how to show it. And when all this is over, we're going to go home and build your dream bakery, and chase all the nightmares and bad memories away."

I've probably cried more in the past few months than I ever have in my life, but I can't stop the tears from rolling down my face as I look into the shining silver eyes of the girl I never thought I'd even be able to talk to, much less marry. "I thought you weren't good at saying something?" I say, my voice breaking.

She smiles her soft smile and wraps her arms around my neck. "I think you're rubbing off on me," she whispers. Then she shifts us again so she can lay her head down on my chest and pulls the blankets up around us. "Do you think you'll be able to sleep now?"

"Yeah, I think so," I reply, and I feel her lips on my chest as she snuggles as close as her slightly swollen belly will allow. I close my eyes, willing myself to fall asleep as I repeat Katniss's words over and over in my mind. But as I think about going back to Twelve in the morning I can feel that telltale lump in my throat start to form again as my breaths get shallower and shallower. Katniss starts rubbing my cheek to try and calm me but it's not enough. Because for how much I want Katniss to stay behind here tomorrow, I'm not sure I can go to Twelve and film a propo next to the destroyed remains of the bakery without her there with me.

"Katniss," I choke out. "I'm so sorry love. I know I made you promise to stay here from now on, but I need you. I need you there with me tomorrow. I'll make sure before we leave in the morning that Beetee and Madge haven't told any of the other districts about this trip, but I won't make it without you. Will you come with me, just this one more time? Will you stay with me?"

She doesn't hesitate at all. "Always," she whispers. I feel her soft lips on my chest again as I close my eyes and my arms tense around her. I try to bury the frightening images of her being burned alive down deep into the recesses of my memory, so deep they will hopefully never surface again. And, hoping even more that they won't ever be replaced with something worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled with this chapter for some reason. Hopefully it still lives up to expectations! :)


	9. Back to Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Twelve again, and this time with the camera crew.

KPOV

The mood is subdued in the Remake Room in the morning. Gale raises his eyebrows when he sees me enter the room with Peeta and sit down in the makeup chair but he doesn't say anything. Neither does anyone else. Even Plutarch, which surprises me.

Cressida decides that Peeta and I shouldn't wear our Mockingjay uniforms on this trip since we're visiting our home district. She wants us to be seen as survivors of the district's destruction today rather than the symbols of the revolution. Effie clucks a few times about how limiting her makeup choices are for us with the grey clothes, but otherwise the room is almost silent as we're all prepped to leave. Since we're all going to be on camera today, Gale, Rye, and Madge are prepped as well. At the last minute, I ask Effie to give my mother the message that I've left for District 12, but plan to be back before the end of the day.

Boggs escorts us all down to the hangar when we're ready, his only words a standard preliminary greeting. I wince as I see him gingerly scratch his face underneath the brace he's still wearing over his nose. Peeta's hand is clutching mine so tightly that I can feel my ring digging into my fingers. He doesn't look nervous on the outside, but his blue eyes can't hide that much from me and inside I know he's terrified.

"Please don't let go of me today," Peeta whispers as we sit down in the hovercraft. "Promise me you'll stay right next to me the whole time, okay?"

"I promise," I say, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. His frightened eyes look into mine. "I promise," I repeat, more firmly this time. He nods his head as his other hand finds its usual spot on my abdomen, with his brow furrowing a bit as he notices that my pants are unbuttoned.

"What's this?" he says, giving me a funny look. I've taken one of my hair ties and looped it through the buttonhole on my pants and then looped the tie around the button, giving me a little more breathing room for my expanding belly.

"My mom told me about this trick yesterday," I say. "My pants always button okay in the morning when I'm standing, but as the day goes on they just get too tight, so she suggested I try this until I can switch them out. It feels so much better!"

Peeta raises his eyebrow. "All right, but maybe we should get you some bigger pants when we get back. I hate the thought of you being uncomfortable. And, you might want to untuck your shirt too," he adds, glancing down at the now-obvious space where my zipper can't quite meet up with the waistband. I blush and giggle a little as I pull my shirt out and cover the hole. Peeta smiles, his first real smile of the day, and leans back in his chair as I rest my head on his shoulder.

Conversation during the trip to Twelve is dominated by Plutarch, who shows us a printed graph of the before and after effects of our first few propos. The rebels, who were barely maintaining a foothold in several districts, have rallied with the news of mine and Peeta's survival, and, even more important, have completely taken control of districts 3 and 11. Since Eleven's the main food supplier for Panem it's considered a huge victory for the rebels, as it's highly unlikely that the Capitol has a large enough food supply for its citizens for very long.

"Very hopeful," Plutarch concludes. "Very hopeful indeed. In fact, we just might be able to wrap this up before your baby is born. Wouldn't that be nice?"

I try to smile my assent but I'm sure it comes across as more of a scowl. Wrap this up, he said. Like it's just a game to him, this war. Like it's a television show that has a definite end. Like it's just another one of his Hunger Games. And then what? He'll turn his attention to our baby? No way. Even if the rebels are able to win this war, there's no way Peeta and I want to stay in District 13 any longer than absolutely necessary. I'll come back to Twelve and give birth in a tent in the Meadow if I have to.

"We should have the first round of the We Remember spots ready to air tonight," Cressida says. "Finnick's been so wonderful with his narrations that it's been painful to watch, since he knew so many of the tributes personally."

"Ah, but that's what makes them so effective!" Plutarch exclaims. "They're straight from the heart. Just like the two of you. You're all doing beautifully. Coin couldn't be more pleased."

I feel Peeta stiffen next to me. Apparently no one seemed to notice the changes in Gloss and Annie in their interview. Gloss is a large, muscular man and he'd obviously lost at least twenty pounds and looked... different. Like he'd been spooked somehow. And Annie looked even more nervous than she had the last time. The only person who hadn't changed was Enobaria.

"Where's Haymitch?" Peeta says suddenly as we're disembarking in the Meadow. "I thought for sure he'd want to come today?"

"Haymitch said that he didn't feel like he was needed this time," Plutarch says, his eyes crinkly from that ever-present smirk on his face.

"More like he couldn't face it without a bottle," Rye says from Peeta's left. "Not that I can blame him," he adds as his gaze takes in the scenery outside of the Meadow. "Shit. It's even worse here than I imagined." Madge slides her hand into his as we all begin to slowly walk towards Victor's Village.

We stop first in front of our destroyed Victor home, with Cressida directing Castor and Pollux to take up positions on either side of Peeta and me. We stand still for a few minutes before Cressida's voice breaks through the silence.

"Tell us, Peeta. How you were faring during the Quarter Quell?" she asks. Not one for any lead-up questions apparently. I feel Peeta's hand start to tremble and he clears his throat a couple of times.

"N-not well," Peeta says quietly. He clears his throat again and looks towards the house. "Not well," he says a little louder. "My brother and his wife were staying with me, to help me while... while Katniss was gone."

"It wasn't any trouble," Madge says from her position next to Rye. "Peeta would've done the same for either of us if we'd needed him to. That's the kind of person he is."

"So you all watched the Quell together then?" Cressida asks. "You and your brother and sister-in-law?"

"Gale and Haymitch would come also," Peeta says. "Haymitch stayed pretty much the whole time, but Rye and Gale had to work, so they'd come when the mandatory viewing would start. The rest of Gale's family watched from Katniss's mother's house."

Cressida nods and directs Pollux over to move in front of Peeta. "So then, after the Quell was over," she says. Peeta lets out an involuntary squeak. "What happened then?"

Peeta seems unable to talk anymore, his fingers squeezing mine so tight that they're numb and his face as white as a sheet. Rye finally clears his throat and takes over.

"Peeta was... devastated after the Quell," Rye says, without a trace of his usual boisterousness. "He couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't take care of himself. Gale would come over every couple of days and help me get him cleaned up and stuff, and Madge practically had to feed him to get him to eat anything. Losing Katniss completely destroyed him."

Cressida pauses for a moment before beckoning us to walk around to the back of the house. "And then, in the few days leading up to the attack, how was the mood in the district?"

"I could tell that something was off," Madge says, her voice strong and clear. "Gale was telling us that the fence surrounding the district hadn't been turned on at all since the end of the Quell, and then he noticed that the Peacekeeper corps seemed smaller all of a sudden. It makes sense now, as they were slowly being evacuated before the attack. But to just a casual observer it looked like business as usual. My father didn't have any indication that anything was going to happen I don't think, or he would have told us."

"Mmmhmm," Cressida says, as she points to the house. "And do you know why the house was specifically hit here, in the back?"

"It's where Peeta was sleeping," Rye says. I turn my head to look up at Peeta and he nods his head. "He said he couldn't stand sleeping in his regular bedroom without Katniss with him. Snow must have known that he wasn't sleeping in his upstairs bedroom if this was the place where the bomb hit."

"And how would President Snow have known that?" Cressida asks.

"Because our house was bugged," I say suddenly. Peeta's hand unlocks from mine as his arm wraps around my waist. "Apparently, all of the Victor houses were bugged. We had no privacy in our own home. Absolutely none. Every conversation, everything we did...," I break off as I feel my face reddening. "President Snow, he could hear it all."

Cressida lets that revelation sink in for a couple of minutes. "Not exactly the glamorous life of a Hunger Games Victor then, hmm?"

"No," Peeta says quietly, almost a whisper. "Not exactly."

Cressida stands silently for a few more seconds before calling 'Cut', and has us start walking towards the Seam. I have to watch carefully where I place my feet to avoid tripping over the still-decomposing bodies lying on the ground. Madge's and Rye's eyes are as big as saucers as we walk, but Gale's are narrowed so much that they look like slits.

We finally stop at Gale's house, which has only two out of the four walls still standing and only about a third of the roof still intact. Cressida films him in silence for a few minutes before she starts to question him.

"Gale. Tell us exactly how you knew that something was going to happen the night of the bombing. You were here at home at first?"

Gale swallows and looks down, studying the ashes of his previous life, before squaring his shoulders and raising up to his full height. "Yeah, I was here at home," he begins. "I couldn't sleep that night. I hadn't really been able to sleep since... since... for a while. And then I noticed all of a sudden that all the electricity in the district had gone out. It wasn't uncommon for us to lose power in the Seam every now and then, but there's always a faint, telltale buzz from the electricity running through Town, and I could tell immediately when that buzz went out."

"Uh huh," Cressida says. "And what did you do next?"

Gale swallows again. "I just sat for a minute, trying to figure out what I should do, and then I yelled at my brother to start packing up. I just knew something was horribly wrong. So I got my sister and my brothers and our mom up and out of the house. Then I knocked on the door of my friend Thom's house and told him to start pounding on doors and getting the people out. I wasn't sure how much time we would have. Thom said he would send some of our mining crew into Town to alert the people there also."

"And then you ran towards Victor's Village?" Cressida asks.

"Yeah," Gale says. "I had my mom go and get Haymitch. She worked in his house so she had a key to it, although he never really ever locked his door that often. Then I sent my brother to help Katniss's mom and sister while I went to Peeta's house. Rye and I got Peeta out of the house and then we all headed for the woods."

Cressida then turns to Rye. "And you guys just followed Gale without question?"

Rye looks at her like she'd grown a second head. "No," he says. "At first I thought Gale'd gone crazy, pounding on the door in the middle of the night like that. But he knew more about what was going on in the Seam and in Town than I did, and I didn't really have any reason not to believe him, so we left. He helped me get Peeta ready while Madge packed us up, and we barely made it into the woods before the first bomb hit."

"I see," Cressida says, looking between Rye and Gale. "So you boys were friends then? Even though one of you was from the Seam and one from Town?"

Rye and Gale both look at each other and nearly identical grimaces pass over their faces. In any other situation it would've been funny. "Not exactly, no," Rye says. "Actually, while we were in school, and for a while afterwards, Gale and I didn't get along well at all. It wasn't until the Quell happened that I really started to think of him as a friend."

"Why weren't you friends before then?" Cressida asks.

"I didn't really like anyone from Town," Gale says. "I always assumed that they had it so much better than people like me. It wasn't really until after Katniss and Peeta won their Games together that I started to think differently, but even then it took me a while."

Cressida then directs Gale to lead us to the woods, following the path that they took to escape from the bombs. We step over the twisted remains of the pulled-down district fence and into the forest as Gale continues his story.

"We went and grabbed the bows and arrows first, then we made for a place where Katniss and I used to meet up when we went hunting together. We stayed there until morning, and then Peeta told us about the lake about an hour's walk away. We all walked there and that's where we stayed until the soldiers from Thirteen showed up, eight days later."

Peeta looks down at me guiltily and I lean my head against him in reassurance. I've never asked Peeta to talk about his time in the woods after the bombing, and he's never really brought it up. I know it was an exceedingly painful time for him, and I didn't want to hurt him by asking questions that he wasn't ready to answer. But it makes my heart happy that he was able to lead the stranded people of Twelve to our lake, where they could easily find food and water.

Plutarch recommends that we break for lunch then, and we all find a place to sit on the ground as Gale wanders off to one of the blackberry bushes that we'd found years ago. He returns with two large handfuls of berries, which compliment the military rations that Boggs brought for lunch quite well. After we eat I lay back on my elbows and stare up at the sky for a while, wishing so hard that I could walk out to the lake and take a swim. The late summer day is humid and everyone is sweating out here, especially Castor and Pollux in their insect-shell camera equipment.

I've closed my eyes, reveling in the feel of being outside in my woods again when all of a sudden I feel something strange. My eyes fly open in alarm and I glance quickly at Peeta to make sure he hasn't seen me, but he's lying next to me with his eyes closed and his head on one of his arms. Then I feel it again in my lower abdomen. It almost feels like the wings of a butterfly fluttering against my skin, only on the inside instead of on the surface. I press my palm to my stomach and wait. A few seconds later I feel it again, and I try hard to push down my feeling of panic. I lean over and tap Peeta on his shoulder.

"Peeta!" I whisper, trying to keep my voice from trembling and remain quiet enough to avoid drawing attention to ourselves. "I think I just felt him moving!"

"What?" he says drowsily, and I realize that I've probably just woken him up. But he sits up quickly when he sees the wide-eyed look on my face. "What is it?"

"I think I just felt him moving!" I repeat, grabbing Peeta's hand and placing it on my stomach. "The baby, he's moving!"

"Oh," Peeta whispers, looking expectantly down at his hand. I feel another flutter and my eyes get even wider.

"Can you feel him?" I ask, but Peeta shakes his head.

"Your mom did say that it would be awhile before I'd be able to feel him moving on the outside," he says, but I can detect the disappointment in his voice. I try to smile through the pounding of my heart in my chest. This baby is definitely real now.

"I think he likes it out here," I say, leaning over to kiss Peeta on the cheek. "He's telling us that he likes the forest."

"That means he'll want to be a hunter then, like his mommy," Peeta replies.

"We need to start talking about names for him," I say. "Have you thought about any?"

Peeta shakes his head. "No, not really. My brothers and I are all named for people that lived before us. For example, Rye is named after my great-grandfather. His full name is Ryen, but he has always gone by Rye. I think he did that to be different. My name last belonged to a great-great-great uncle or something. But I'd like our son to have his own name. One that hasn't been passed down. Something that's just his."

"I like that," I say. "My mom and sister and I are all named after plants. I can't imagine that there's another Katniss out there anywhere."

Peeta smirks. "One Katniss is enough, I think," he says, winking at me.

I smile at him again as he kisses my cheek. "I'm sorry I woke you though," I say.

Peeta shrugs his shoulders. "It's okay. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy coming out here with you. It's so peaceful."

I exhale and look up at the sky. "Sometimes my father and I would come out here and just sit, like we are now, and stare at the tops of the trees and the mockingjays flying around. Not too often, because we needed to hunt most of the time, but sometimes, when we'd had a particularly good week, we'd come out here and just relax for a while. Those were my favorite times."

Peeta is silent for a moment. "You know," he says. "We could see if you'd be allowed above ground to hunt every now and then if you want. But only if I go with you. Or even Gale I suppose. I just wouldn't want you going out there alone."

"Oh I'd like that!" I say. "But only if we also ask that you be allowed to bake me a batch of cheese buns at least once a week."

Peeta kisses my cheek again. "Deal," he whispers. Then he lays back down on the ground, keeping his hand protectively over my belly for the remainder of the break.

"All right, why don't we head into Town then?" Cressida calls out to our group, announcing the end of the quiet time. Peeta reluctantly gets to his feet and helps me stand up as I brush the grass and earth from our clothes.

By the time we reach the Town Square, the afternoon's sinking into evening. We slowly walk in the direction of the shops in silence, Peeta clinging tightly to my hand and being careful not to step on any of the bodies still covering the Square. We stop in front of the remains of the bakery with Rye and Madge standing next to us. I can see Cressida directing Castor and Pollux to take flanking positions around the four of us.

Peeta's hand has started to tremble in mine, so I unlock my hand from his to wrap my fingers around his arm, trying to give him all the strength that I can. Rye has dropped his chin to his chest and wrapped his arm around Madge's waist.

"It looks like it was hit in the front first, Peet," Rye says, his voice uncharacteristically quiet. "It would've been quick. Maybe even instantaneous." He turns his head to look at Peeta. "I don't think they suffered at all."

Peeta nods his head, his lower lip quivering but managing to keep his tears in. His large hand covers mine, still clutching his arm. "That's good," he says hoarsely.

Rye reaches his other hand and claps Peeta on the shoulder before stepping forward onto part of the rubble. He starts poking around in the debris next to the twisted lump of the oven, like he's looking for something specific. "Gale, help me a minute?" he calls over his shoulder. Cressida nods at Castor to continue filming.

Gale gingerly steps onto the wreckage with a confused look on his face, but starts lifting broken pieces of wood at Rye's direction and tossing them aside, with Rye looking intently for something that must be buried underneath the rubble. "Aha!" he says triumphantly after a few minutes. "There it is! Dad always kept it in the same place on the prepping counter." He carefully lifts out a large, leather-bound book and brushes the dust and ashes off the cover. Then he tucks it under his arm before carefully stepping his way back to us. "Here, I think you should have this," he says to Peeta as he presents him with the book. "You'll need it someday, won't you?"

The huge book has pieces of paper sticking out from around the pages, and the leather cover is almost the same color as Peeta's eyes. I can see MELLARK printed on the front in old-fashioned looking letters. Peeta stares at the book for a minute before turning to face the camera.

"It's," he says quietly before clearing his throat. He holds the book so everyone can see the cover. "It's our family recipe book." His voice is clearer now. "It's been passed down in the Mellark family for generations." Then he looks at his brother and nods. "Thank you."

There's another couple minutes of silence before Cressida walks over to the Mellark men. "Was your oldest brother here in the bakery too, when it was destroyed?" she asks.

Rye shakes his head. "No, Bannock lived with his wife over there," and he points to what used to be a row of Merchant houses that lead out of the Square and down a street.

"Bannock worked at the General Store, over there," Peeta adds, pointing directly across the Square. "But we haven't seen or heard of him since the bombing."

"And how many of the Merchant class would you say survived the attack?" Cressida asks.

"I'd say about a third of them made it to Thirteen," Gale says, looking around at the devastation. "More than I expected, actually. Thom said he was pleasantly surprised by how quickly many of the Merchants followed him and the rest of our mining crew before and during the attack."

Cressida smiles smugly. "And why do you think that was the case?" she asks.

Gale turns to look at Peeta and Rye. Nearly identical boys, differing only by an inch or so in height and the slight differences in their eye and hair color. "Because, in the couple of months leading up to the Quell, and then after it, it seemed like a lot of the old prejudices were starting to fall apart. That the Seam folks and the Merchants were starting to get along better. That we were starting to think of ourselves as just people who lived in District 12, and not noticing our differences as much anymore."

Then he pauses, his dark grey eyes flicking from Peeta and me over to Rye and Madge. Then he turns and looks directly into the camera, gesturing back towards us with his hand. "And it all started with them."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I so very much appreciate all the kind words and constructive comments! Please keep them coming, and thank you so much for reading! :)


	10. Warnings

PPOV

I clutch the recipe book to my chest the whole way back to Thirteen. After the bakery we'd made our way over to the Mayor's mansion, where Cressida guided Madge through a series of questions about her parents. About how her mother had been ill for most of Madge's life and yet the Capitol never once offered to bring her there to be treated by the Capitol doctors. About how her father was most likely part of the underground resistance in Twelve, like Haymitch had been. About how it wasn't too much to hope that they at least died quickly in the inferno. She and Rye then carefully picked through some of the rubble, coming back with a few hair ribbons and a picture of her parents on their wedding day. The sun was starting to set in earnest by then, so after we made one quick final stop in Mrs. Everdeen's house for some herbs and concoctions she'd wanted, we decided to call it a day.

Katniss is resting her head on my shoulder with her hands around my arm, fast asleep. The box of bottles and jars that she'd collected from her old house is sitting next to her. Some of the items in that box will be used during and after the birth of our baby, and that thought makes me smile slightly, even though I know Katniss is hopeful that we won't still be in Thirteen when that time comes. I know that I was only able to stave off a full-blown panic attack because of her presence with me today. The entire time we were standing at the Mayor's mansion I was trembling violently, with Katniss humming softly into my chest.

"The next time we come here, the war will be over and we'll be safe," she whispered to me.

Boggs exits the hovercraft immediately after we land, having spent almost the entire trip talking quietly to someone over his radio. No one tells us that we have to be anywhere specific after we disembark, so I take Katniss up to our compartment first to drop off the recipe book and then we head to the cafeteria for a late dinner. We're joined only by Rye and Madge, who's somber moods seem to match our own.

I pull Katniss to me as soon as the door shuts behind us in our compartment, my body aching with the need to be as close to her as possible. I tug off her clothes and lift her up onto the bed, where she surprises me by climbing on top of me. With her growing belly we've already had to alter our usual positions a little, but she still feels a little self-conscience being on top, no matter how many times I've told her how beautiful she is or how much I love being able to see so much more of her. Even after over a year of marriage and now being pregnant, she's still so pure.

Afterwards, as we lie sated and relaxed, we talk a little more about possible names for our baby. Katniss tells me about her father's family, and how many of the names along his side of the family were names that came from the people who originally settled in Panem, way back when it was still called North America. And then her mother's side had a tendency to name their children after flowers and plants, which makes sense since many of them were healers or apothecaries. Katniss apparently had an uncle named Basil who she'd never met, since he, along with her grandparents, disowned her mother when she married her dad.

I'm able to fall asleep fairly quickly once the lights shut off and the nightlight kicks in, but, like the night before, my sleep is wracked with nightmares. After one that's particularly terrible, in which I see Katniss and our infant son captured by President Snow, I slide my arm out from under her shoulders and hop to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face to try and calm myself down. I try to be as silent as possible so I don't wake Katniss, but even with only one bare foot on a hard cement floor, her hunter's senses still manage to pick up on my movements as I move clumsily back to the bed.

"Are you okay?" she whispers.

"Yeah," I say as I crawl back over her and wrap my arm around her waist. "Just needed a drink of water."

"I would've gotten it for you," she says. "And you're trembling, so you didn't just get up for a drink of water." She rolls over in my arms and pushes up onto her elbow to look at me, her eyes narrowed. "Please don't think that you need to hide anything from me. I want to help you."

"You do so much already," I say. I pull her head down to rest on my chest. "I hate that I even woke you. You need your rest."

"But that's what you and I do. We protect each other, right?" she whispers. "Please let me help you."

I'm quiet for a moment, trying to think of something that would help without being too bothersome. "Can you sing for me?" I finally ask, mentally kicking myself for not thinking of it earlier.

I feel her smile against my skin, and she lifts her head to kiss my lips briefly before lying back down. She starts running her fingertips through my chest hair and licks her lips. And then she starts to sing. Her voice, that was so often the background for my childhood daydreams, is as rich and soothing to me now as the best cup of hot chocolate the Capitol could offer.

 _I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'll never let you go_  
_When all those shadows almost killed your light_  
_I remember you said don't leave me here alone_  
_But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight_

 _Just close your eyes, the sun is going down_  
_You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now_  
_Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound_

I can feel my heart rate returning to normal and my breathing evening out before she's even finished the first line, and I'm asleep before she finishes the last note.

The next day starts out among the most normal or ordinary of days that we've had since we've been here. After breakfast, we're directed by our imprinted schedules to attend a class on Nuclear History, where we find Gale, Finnick, and Johanna also in attendance and Pollux standing in the back, filming from time to time. The class is taught by a soldier named Jackson, a dark-haired and dark-eyed woman who appears to be in her late thirties. Apparently, this is one of a few classes that are prerequisites for beginning combat training. Next is a visit to the media editing room, where we work with Messalla and Cressida for over an hour, editing the footage that we took yesterday in Twelve. I'm able to get through the process without having any symptoms of my recent panic attacks, which is pleasantly surprising.

Lunch follows, with Johanna again regaling us with stories about her physical therapist, and Rye and Madge glowing with praise about how well the other districts are rallying with the propos that have been showing around the clock at regular intervals. Another two classes, this time an introductory course on field medicine and then basic military tactics, are after lunch. With Castor filming footage of Katniss and me, we learn how to apply field dressings and perform something called CPR. Prim is even one of the assistants during the medical class, and Katniss does quite well in that course, but then almost falls asleep during the tactical discussions that follow. Thankfully, Castor doesn't get that on tape.

"It's not like I'm going to be out in the field anyway," she grumbles as we finally leave the classroom at dinner time. "Why do I have to go to these classes?"

"Because the Capitol still isn't aware of your pregnancy, as far as we know," Gale says from behind us. He's sat in the front row of all the classes we've been in today, rapturously absorbing the information and asking several questions. "And we'd like to keep up that image for as long as possible."

"That's fine with me," I say quickly. The less the Capitol knows about our baby, the better in my opinion. "Besides, at least we're together. And really, what would you rather be doing besides attending a military tactics class with your husband?" At that, Gale rolls his eyes and pushes past us.

Katniss watches him leave before replying. "I'd rather be out hunting with my husband," she says once Gale's out of earshot. "Can we please ask about that sometime soon?"

I grab her hand and bring it to my lips. "Tomorrow," I say, leading her in the direction of the cafeteria.

"Fine," she says. "And don't forget about the cheese buns."

"I don't think you'll let me forget about those," I say laughing.

Dinner's the most relaxed meal we've had in a while, with Rye and Haymitch bantering back and forth and Johanna mercilessly flirting with Gale, causing him to blush a couple of times. We've just exited the cafeteria and are heading down to the rec room to start a chess tournament when Boggs intercepts us.

"There's a meeting in Command," he says gruffly, and I wonder briefly if the man ever gets to eat or sleep around here.

"Don't you ever sleep?" Katniss asks him, echoing my thoughts. Boggs shoots her a look but doesn't respond.

Command is crowded. Finnick spots us as we enter and motions us to come and sit next to him. There's not enough chairs for everyone, so I have Katniss sit down on my lap. The screens are already lit up and showing the regular Capitol feed.

"What's going on?" Katniss asks. "Are the propos from Twelve done already?"

"Beetee thinks he's found a way to break into the feed nationwide," Finnick says. "He says that way our propos can air in the Capitol too. He's set up in the corner over there working on it right now, and word is that Snow's going to make an appearance on live programming tonight." He turns back to look at the screen as the seal of Panem appears. "I think it's starting now."

The Capitol seal gets larger and larger until it leaves the picture, underscored by the anthem. Then I'm staring directly into the snake-like eyes of President Snow as he greets the nation. He's standing in front of television screens that seem to be showing live feed from several of the districts. The Victor Trio of Gloss, Enobaria, and Annie are sitting off to the side of the podium where Snow has barricaded himself. My arms automatically tighten around Katniss as Snow begins to speak.

"People of Panem," he says ominously. "I've come before you today, to tell you that the rebels have lost! The rebellion is on the verge of collapsing, all of the major instigators have been apprehended, and will be executed tonight, live on television."

A collective gasp sounds around the room as the cameras from the various districts pan back to reveal three or four people each, standing against poles with their hands tied behind them. In front of each person stands a Peacekeeper, with their rifles aimed directly at each of the prisoners.

"Mags!" Finnick cries out in anguish. He shakily points to one of the screens, which shows an old, white-haired woman, barely five feet tall and so bent over that she can barely stand up, even with the ropes holding her hands in place. I've barely registered Mags' presence before I hear more names called out around the room.

"That's Blight!" says Johanna, pointing to one of the screens. I vaguely recall Blight being a Victor from District 7, Johanna's home district.

"That's Wiress from Three," Beetee's voice is heard from the far corner of the room, behind all of his equipment. "She's a good friend of mine."

"Snow's got a lot of the remaining Victors!" Katniss calls out. "How'd he manage to capture all of the Victors?"

"This isn't real!" Madge yells loudly. Everyone stops talking and looks at her, and she breathes in deeply before continuing. "This must be old footage, because I've had reports for a couple of weeks now that there were widespread Capitol raids in a few of the districts before the rebels were able to rally. The raids had only one goal, and that was to capture any of the remaining Victors who weren't either here or in hiding. It looks like Snow managed to find several of them, so I think if that's the case, that they've been dead for a while already." She looks over at Finnick. "I'm so sorry Finnick. Did you know Mags well?"

Finnick looks down at the tabletop. "She was my mentor, and like a mother to me." He flinches when we hear the gunshots ripple across the screens, as the captured Victors and other prisoners are summarily executed.

Katniss touches his arm. "I'm so sorry, Finnick."

Finnick inhales shakily, then squares his shoulders. "She died a noble death, so I'm proud of her. She knew what was at stake. She'd lived through every single Hunger Games that's ever been."

"Everyone listen!" Coin's voice rings out over the din of chatter around the room, as the Capitol's camera now focuses in on Gloss. My eyes widen as the picture lands on his face, where beads of sweat have broken out on his forehead and his eyes look almost like he's deranged.

"... with the execution of these traitors to our beloved country, we can hopefully begin the rebuilding process..." Gloss is saying, mechanically and unfocused, when all of a sudden the screen is covered in static, and the picture changes to show the derailing of a supply train that'd been heading for the Capitol.

"Beetee broke in!" Plutarch says excitedly. The clip of the train only lasts for about five seconds, but it's enough to visibly rattle President Snow when the Capitol feed resumes. Snow indicates for Gloss to continue, and he starts to pick up his speech, when a clip of Finnick talking about Rue replaces him. And then the whole thing breaks down into a broadcast battle, as the Capitol tech masters try to fend off Beetee's attack. But they are unprepared, and Beetee, having anticipated that he'd only have control intermittently, has an arsenal of five- to ten-second clips to work with. There's footage of a granary explosion. Footage of the four of us Mellarks standing in front of the destroyed bakery in Twelve. Of a broken dam in District 7, and then of Katniss's arrow flying into and crashing the two hoverbombers in Eight.

Plutarch is beside himself with excitement, and most everybody else is cheering Beetee on, but Finnick remains still and speechless beside us, his eyes firmly planted on Annie every time she appears on the screen. Finally the Capitol seal reappears, accompanied by a flat audio tone. This lasts about twenty seconds before Snow and the three Victors return. Their set is in obvious turmoil, and I can only wonder how many technicians will lose their lives over this debacle as we hear the frantic exchanges from their booth. Snow plows forward, trying to look undeterred, talking about how clearly this is a last-ditch effort by the few remaining rebels to try to undermine the Capitol's broadcast, but that it's only a matter of time before they too are rounded up and executed. Then he asks the three Victors if, after tonight's demonstration, they have any parting thoughts for the dwindling rebellion.

Enobaria opens her mouth to speak, but suddenly Gloss leans forward on his elevated chair and, contorting his face with the effort, starts to speak. "You people, who think you're so safe in your underground cities, how do you think this will end? What will be left? No one is safe anymore. Not here, in the Capitol, not in any of the districts. And you... you Star-Crossed Lovers... who caused all this trouble in the first place...". Katniss and I both startle at his reference to us. Gloss inhales sharply, as if he's fighting for air, and leans even more forward. "You... in Thirteen... you'll be dead by morning!"

Katniss gasps as we hear Snow yell for them to cut the feed, just as a Peacekeeper storms onto the stage and knocks Gloss to the ground with his rifle. Finnick cries out at the loss of the camera feed, no doubt worried sick about what will now happen to Annie.

"We have to get her out before Snow kills her!" Finnick yells.

"Right now we should be more concerned about us being killed!" Haymitch says. "That was a warning he was giving us." He turns to look at Coin. "I know him. He was a Career, yes, but he was trying to warn us about an attack. Here, in Thirteen."

"Yes he was," Boggs says from next to Haymitch. He looks directly at Coin. "I agree with Haymitch."

Coin looks thoughtful, while I sit with my arms around my pregnant wife, mentally screaming for her to make a decision right now so we can get to safety. But really, is there anywhere for us that is truly safe now, if what Gloss said is true?

"We are overdue for a Level Five security drill," Coin says, almost nonchalantly, like she's talking about the weather that we never get to see. It's completely unnerving to me how calm she is. "Let's proceed with the lockdown."

Immediately a loud klaxon alarm sounds and a voice comes over a loudspeaker, instructing us to head directly for the nearest stairwell and descend to level forty-seven. Boggs immediately grabs Katniss's arm and pulls her off of me, pushing both of us out of Command, along the hall to a doorway, and then onto a wide stairway. Streams of people are converging to form a river that flows only downward, with no one saying a word, no one panicking, no one pushing or struggling. I get Katniss in front of me and hold onto her shoulder as we descend, flight after flight, with the eardrum-piercing alarm permeating throughout the district.

By the time we've reached the end of the stairs, my ears have popped twice and I'm gasping for breath. We are coal-mine deep now, and from the few times I visited the coal mines in Twelve on our school field trips, I've never been a big fan of being this far underground. I tighten my grip on Katniss's shoulder as Boggs directs us to swipe our schedules in front of a panel so that we can be accounted for.

Then we're directed through a set of huge steel doors into a room that roughly resembles the quarantine room I stayed in when I first came to Thirteen, except this room is entirely made out of stone, with steel and concrete reinforcements. The sleeping bunks are hewn right into the rock walls of the cavern. I gulp as more and more people start to trickle in.

"Peeta, over here!" I turn to follow the sound of my name and see Rye over by the rock wall, waving his hand with Madge next to him. I grab Katniss's arm and guide her over to my brother, who points us to the set of bunks next to him.

"You always said you wanted to sleep in bunk beds with Katniss, right little brother?" Rye jokes. I try to muster a smile, but all I can think about right now is what horrible things could be happening to Gloss and Annie, and, how in the hell I'm going to manage being even more underground than usual. I get Katniss settled on one of the bunks and move over to the Supply Station to grab our bunker supplies. Then we sit down and wait for further instructions.

Katniss panics a little when her mom shows up without Prim and a countdown begins, indicating that the doors to the bunker will be sealed shut until the danger has passed. She tries to get back up to go look for her, but I tell her to stay with Rye and Madge and offer to go look for her myself. I've made it over to the steel doors when I see Gale and Prim racing frantically down the metal stairs, trying to stay ahead of the countdown. They manage to squeeze through right before the doors close, with Prim clutching her cat, Buttercup, tightly in her arms.

"You went back for the cat?" I say harshly. "Katniss is worried sick about you!"

"Lay off of her, Peeta," Gale says, scowling. "We made it, that's all that matters."

"I couldn't leave him behind!" she says, shaking her blonde head. I've noticed lately that she's been wearing her hair only in one braid instead of two. Little Prim is growing up.

I pat her arm, ashamed of my angry outburst. "All right then, let's get you guys inside."

Once inside, Gale peels off to find his family while I lead Prim over to our area. Katniss shrieks with relief when she sees her sister, before admonishing her for risking her life over the cat.

"I should've drowned that thing when I had the chance," she mutters.

The supply packs that we got contain enough supplies for a few days in the bunker. There's a couple sets of clothes, a portable lamp, a toothbrush, comb, and a small pillow that fills with air once you pull it from its container. I set about getting those ready, placing both of our pillows down on the bottom bunk. There's no way I'm not sleeping next to Katniss in this place, if we're even able to sleep at all. Then I look around, desperately wishing I had some paper and a pencil, anything to take my mind off the impending attack. I've always been afraid of enclosed spaces with no windows, and being this far underground with the threat of an attack; even with Katniss here with me, it's like one of my childhood nightmares coming true. So, I'm not prepared at all when the first bomb hits.

There's an initial sense of impact, followed by an explosion that resonates through my entire body and makes the hair in the back of my neck stand up. This feels nothing like the bombs that hit Twelve or Eight. These feel even more ominous and destructive, like they're specifically trying to penetrate the ground before they explode.

"They must be bunker missiles," Rye says to no one in particular, once the chorus of shrieks has subsided. "Makes sense I guess, since there's no point in bombing the surface here anymore..."

That information doesn't help me in the least, and I feel the blood start to drain from my face. I wrap Katniss in my arms and bury my nose into her hair, trying to inhale her scent that I find calming. She starts to hum and run her fingers through my hair, but I feel the telltale signs of an impending panic attack coming quickly. My breath starts coming in gasps, my throat feels like it's closing in on itself, and my heart starts to race.

"They're not nuclear, are they?" I rasp.

"Most likely not," Madge answers. "It wouldn't be in the Capitol's best interest to flood this area with radiation. They'd want to capture it usable."

I let out a pathetic squeak, absolutely disgusted with myself for being so useless right now, but paralyzed to do anything about it. The air feels so stiflingly thick down here in this stone bunker that it feels like my lungs are burning with each breath I take.

"I'm just glad that Victor warned us," Mrs. Everdeen says, just as another bomb hits and explodes a few seconds later. "At least we had time to get to safety before the bombing started."

I can't help the shudder that ripples through my body. "Shh," Katniss whispers against my hair. "I've got you, we'll be okay." She manages to get me over into the corner of the bunk, next to the rock wall, as another impact lands above, followed by another explosion. I cry out at the sound like a frightened child, and Katniss starts to hum louder into my ear. She puts one of my hands on her stomach and pulls my head down against her chest.

"You okay there, Peet?" I hear Rye ask, but I can't even answer him. Katniss raises her hand in his direction and shakes her head, asking him silently to leave me alone. All I can think about is how we're going to be buried alive down here. We're never going to see the sunset again. We'll never get to meet our son. We're all going to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's one of my head canons that Peeta is claustrophobic, which helps explain why he's having so much trouble sleeping underground in Thirteen.
> 
> The song Katniss sings for Peeta is called Safe and Sound, by Taylor Swift. It's available on the Hunger Games soundtrack.


	11. Field of Roses

KPOV

I was finally able to get Peeta to fall asleep about two hours after the explosions began. I'd sang every song that I knew and started over again, and he still was as stiff as a board against me, whimpering and gasping and clutching at my hair that he'd pulled out of my braid. Plutarch even had the audacity to come over to us and say that Peeta needed to pull himself together, since we were being watched by the people down in the bunker, and they were upset that Peeta wasn't being more supportive and reassuring to everyone else who was scared. Rye stood up and offered Plutarch a few choice words after that, and Mom finally injected Peeta with a sedative that she'd brought from the hospital. But even then, it took him a long time to calm down enough to be able to sleep.

And all the while the explosions continued above us, over and over again. I kept expecting to see giant cracks appear across the ceiling and pieces of it to start falling down, like they did in the Quell arena, but apparently this place is built better than the arena was, because the bunker itself only shuddered a couple of times. The Capitol would be smart to adapt some of the building techniques from here. But, then again, they'd probably never thought one of their arenas would be blown up.

Once I got Peeta to sleep though, I found that I was too wound up to sleep. I was uncomfortable sitting against the rock wall, but I wasn't going to move Peeta yet after he'd finally calmed down. Prim was also awake, playing a sort of game with Buttercup, who she said was scared too, so we got to talk for a while. She told me that they were training her to become a doctor. I thought it was about time. We talked for over an hour while she cuddled with Buttercup, until her eyes started to droop. Then she said goodnight and crawled into the bunk next to our mother, with Buttercup taking up his usual position near her feet.

I check the clock again, barely visible across the room in the glowing light of the portable lamps scattered around the bunker. It's about two in the morning, and everyone around me is asleep. The uncomfortable pain in my neck and shoulders has become unbearable, so I carefully slide Peeta down and onto one of the pillows and stand up for a second to stretch and try to rub the kinks out of my sore muscles. I see Peeta's hands grappling for me after a couple minutes, so I lie down next to him and he immediately wraps his strong arm around my waist.

But I can't seem to fall asleep. As the time between the explosions increases and more and more of the lamps are extinguished, my eyes make out Finnick a few rows away, sitting on his bunk and knotting his rope. I may as well see if he wants some company.

"Finnick!" I whisper loudly. He looks up in a panic, but relaxes a little when he sees me. I motion for him to walk over, and he comes and sits down cross-legged on the floor next to the bunk.

"How's Peeta?" he asks.

I pat Peeta's arm softly. "He's all right I think, now. He finally was able to sleep," I say. "But how're you holding up?"

Finnick scoffs, his hands working up and down over the short length of rope. When he looks back at me his eyes are filled with tears.

"I think I should give myself up, Katniss. Offer to trade myself for her freedom. It's what Snow wants, after all. He didn't arrest Annie because he thought she'd be a wealth of rebel information. Snow knows I'd never tell her anything like that, for her own protection. But me, well, I know enough about Snow and his old cronies, and now enough about the operations here, to be a pretty valuable prisoner."

"And that's exactly why you can't do that!" I whisper harshly. "You told Coin a while ago that you knew things, secrets about Snow, didn't you? Maybe she can do something with the information that you have, to force Snow to give Annie back?"

But Finnick just hangs his head, pulling on the ends of his rope. Such a fitting symbol for him right now.

"You know," Finnick says. "You and Peeta are really the only things keeping me sane around here." He smiles slightly as he ties yet another knot in his rope. "I remember watching your first Games, and watching the two of you in that cave. I honestly thought the whole romance was an act. It wasn't until I saw you both again on your Victory Tour, and then you at the Quell, when I asked you if you missed him, that I knew."

I snuggle further down into Peeta's arms, remembering the Tribute Parade and how disgusted I was with Finnick then. "That you knew what?"

"How much you love him," he says. He pulls on the rope again, and the complex knot he'd tied disappears. "And how obvious it was, even back in your first Games, once I thought about it again."

"Yeah," I whisper. "Yeah, I guess it was pretty obvious." I try and stifle a yawn, and Finnick stands to his feet.

"I'll let you sleep now," he says. He turns to walk back to his bunk.

"Finnick!" I call after him. He turns around to look at me. "We'll get Annie back, and soon. You'll see."

Finnick nods grimly. "I hope so." Then he takes a few more steps before turning around one more time. "Don't ever let yourself fall apart, Katniss. It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart."

I nod my head in the darkness, thinking that that's one of the truest things I've ever heard. Then I bid him goodnight and close my eyes.

Peeta's mood is off in the morning, but he still manages to go around the bunker and make small talk with many of the people here throughout the day, playing the role Plutarch wanted us to play the night before. We play with the cat for a while, and he also spends time talking with my mother and Prim and his brother and Madge. Rye tells us some funny stories about them when they were kids, and Peeta laughs and contributes a few stories of his own. He's affectionate and sweet with me like he always is, but I can tell that something's wrong.

"Please talk to me," I say to him once we've laid down on the bunk for our second night. These bunks are so tiny, they make our bed in our compartment look huge.

We're facing each other, but he won't meet my eyes. "There's not really that much to talk about, Katniss," he says in a flat voice. "I'm surprised you can lie here next to me right now with how I acted last night."

I'm confused at first. "What do you mean, how you acted?" I put my hand on his chin, trying to get him to look at me, but he resists. "Please Peeta, look at me!"

His blue eyes finally meet my own, and they look ashamed. "I was weak, Katniss," he says, and his eyes look away again. "I am weak. You married a coward, and how in the hell am I supposed to keep you and our son safe from harm if I fall apart every goddamn time something like this happens? I was absolutely useless to you last night!"

My heart sinks at his words and I grab his face in both my hands. "Look at me," I tell him. He resists petulantly, so I repeat it, more harshly this time. "Peeta Mellark, you look at me right now!!"

The tone of my voice must surprise him, because his sad blue eyes flit to mine right away. "I did not marry a coward!" I say angrily, trying to stay quiet enough to avoid being overheard, especially by Rye. "And it makes me very upset that you could think that of me. It's insulting!"

He immediately looks chagrined. "No, Katniss, I didn't mean-"

"Didn't mean what?" I say, a little gentler this time. "You didn't mean that you're a Hunger Games Victor who survived a life-threatening leg infection in the arena, only to then have the same leg practically torn off by a Gamemaker mutt who was trying to kill you? You didn't mean that you're the same person who then begged me to take your life, while you were bleeding to death, so I could go home? That you're the person who then had to get used to a leg prosthesis with hardly any kind of practice or physical therapy, before being thrust right back into the public eye? Who then later had to endure being physically threatened by the President, twice, and not to mention then getting flogged in order to protect your family? And then, who had to watch your wife in another Hunger Games, thinking that she died, while your home district is bombed into rubble a couple weeks later? Excuse me, but exactly which of those life experiences qualify you as being a coward?"

He looks away again, and I can see his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he swallows thickly. "I-, I don't know, Katniss..."

I pull his head close to kiss him gently on the forehead. "Rye told me, after you'd fallen asleep last night, that your mom used to lock you in the bakery supply closet sometimes as a punishment, when you were little. He said she knew that you hated being in there because it was stuffy and dark."

He nods his tousled blond head. "Yeah," he whispers. "I think I hated that more than being hit, actually." He brings his hand up to caress my cheek. "I don't get along well with small, dark, enclosed spaces."

"That doesn't mean that you're weak, Peeta," I say. "And being scared while we're under attack doesn't make you a coward either, especially if we're stuck here in this stone bunker who knows how far down. My dad was a coal miner, and I still don't like being this far underground. And, we're in a war, Peeta! Everyone's scared! Even the soldiers who are trained to fight in it! You're only seventeen, and you've lived through horrors that no one should ever have to experience. But those horrors haven't changed the best parts of you."

He stares at me for a few seconds, a sort of half-smile on his face, before leaning in to kiss my lips. Even after all this time, I still get flutters in my chest whenever he kisses me. "You are getting better at saying somethings," he says, pulling me into a hug. Then he positions me so my head is on his chest and runs his fingers through my hair until we both fall asleep.

They release us from the bunker in the morning, as it's been over 24 hours since the last bomb. The huge doors open with a loud groan and we all line up to filter out of the bunker. Peeta and I are halfway up the first set of stairs when Boggs catches up with us.

"President Coin wants the two of you camera-ready in an hour," Boggs says. His dark brown eyes are red-rimmed and puffy. He looks like he hasn't slept at all over the past two days. "We need to show the Capitol that we survived, with no casualties."

I sigh heavily, not wanting to do anything right now but maybe take a bath and soak my stiff and sore muscles. Which is impossible, because there aren't any bathtubs here in Thirteen, at least that I know of.

"You cannot possibly expect Katniss to be able to perform right now," Peeta protests angrily. "She needs to rest before-"

"President Coin was insistent," Boggs interrupts, but not without a hint of sympathy. "Report to Special Defense. The old Command center was destroyed in the attack."

"Lead the way," I say resignedly. Peeta laces his fingers though mine and we follow Boggs as I continue to daydream about soaking in a hot bathtub, with Peeta massaging my aching shoulders.

Boggs ushers us into a room virtually identical to Command. Coin, Plutarch, Haymitch, Cressida, and everyone else around the table looks as exhausted as Boggs. They've even broken out their emergency supply of coffee, and I see Plutarch's hands wrapped around his cup like it's the most precious thing in the world to him.

Never one for small talk, Coin gets right down to business. "We need all of you suited up and aboveground," she says. "You have two hours to get footage showing the damage from the bombing, establish that Thirteen's military unit remains not only functional but dominant, and most important, that the Mockingjays are still alive. Are there any questions?"

"Yeah," Finnick says from my left. "Can I have a coffee?"

He's handed a steaming cup of the dark liquid, but both Peeta and I decline, never having been a fan of the bitter taste. Effie slurps down the rest of her cup and demands my portion before leading us into the new Remake Room. She has to summon the seamstress to let out the waist in my Mockingjay suit again, and I'm informed that there's no way she'll be able to let it out any more after this. My days as a Mockingjay, at least on camera, are coming to a rapid end. Effie arranges my hair and applies makeup while Haymitch helps Peeta with his arrow sheath. Once Effie and Haymitch step back we turn to face each other, our hands meeting each other's halfway.

Boggs and Gale lead us out of the Special Defense area and up several flights of stairs, before climbing a ladder to reach the surface. Apparently the elevators haven't been deemed safe to use yet. The door leading outside is so warped that Boggs and Gale both have to push against it with all their strength to get it to open. When they're finally able to force it open, we step through and I immediately squint against the light hitting my eyes. Peeta grasps my hand and leads me carefully over the debris littering what used to be a field of some kind.

"How much lead time did the Victor's warning give you?" Haymitch asks Boggs as we walk.

"About ten minutes before our own systems would've detected the missiles. But seconds count if you're under attack, and his warning definitely saved civilian lives. The first ten levels of the residential section were destroyed."

My mother and Prim's compartment was in one of those levels. They'd be dead now if not for Gloss's warning. I shiver and clutch Peeta's hand a little tighter. We walk a few more yards and stop when we reach the edge of a massive crater, at least thirty yards wide.

"What's with all the roses?" Rye asks suddenly from behind us. His question causes me to look down into the crater, and I hear Peeta inhale sharply as he takes in the scene in front of us.

The entirety of the ground is littered with white roses. There must be hundreds, or even thousands of them strewn across the entire width of the huge crater. Just as the sickeningly sweet smell hits my nose Peeta stops short and turns to me with a terrified look. He buries his face into my neck and tries to take slow, deep breaths, his fingers digging into my shoulders as he attempts to hold himself together.

"What's wrong with him?" I hear Plutarch ask behind us. I shake my head and look desperately at Haymitch, begging him silently to intervene on our behalf.

"President Snow uses roses as a sort of communication device," Haymitch says. His eyes take in the hundreds of the long-stemmed beauties around us as Pollux moves closer to get a better camera angle. "This is obviously a message for our Mockingjays."

"Maybe we can film somewhere else?" I ask. "Out of the crater? Away from these things?"

Cressida and Messalla confer for a minute and nod, pointing in the direction of the old, destroyed Justice Building. "This'll be good," Cressida says. "Since the Justice Building was the backdrop for all the fake news broadcasts over the years, trying to show that the district had been completely destroyed."

I nod to show my thanks, and tug on Peeta's hand so we can walk back out of the crater. We've just turned around to start walking back up when Finnick points to something a couple feet away. He leans down to get a closer look and then jumps back suddenly, his face draining of color. Haymitch walks over to see what it is that startled him, and his lips purse in anger as he reaches down to pull a perfect, single, blood-red rose out from the never ending pile of white roses. He holds it up high for us all to see.

Cressida points to Castor, indicating for him to move closer to Haymitch and Finnick. "What does the red rose mean, Finnick?" she asks him.

But Finnick seems unable to speak, his face as pale as the field of white roses and shaking his head. "No," I hear him mumble. "No, no, no," he repeats, until Haymitch has him sit down with his head between his knees.

"What does the red rose mean?" Cressida asks again. She looks over at Haymitch.

Haymitch hesitates before he answers. "President Snow used to use Finnick... to entertain important friends of his. To escort important women to events. To glean secrets from people who he was afraid were less than completely loyal to him. And every time he had one of these jobs for Finnick, he would send him a single, red rose. It was a sort of a code, so there wouldn't be any evidence of a note or conversation from Snow himself. The red rose would mean Finnick was to report to a certain room in the Tribute Center, where he would wait for further instructions." He pauses to place his hand on Finnick's shoulder. "In the last couple of years, Snow had been becoming more and more paranoid, and was having Finnick run more of these, errands, than usual. Finnick later realized that that was also when Snow discovered his relationship with Annie. So since then, every time he's received one of these roses, he's been afraid that something bad was going to happen to Annie." Haymitch crouches down then, putting his arm around Finnick's shoulders.

"And so now you think that this is another message? From President Snow?" Cressida asks.

Haymitch nods his head. "Yeah," he says. "It means that Annie's in danger, and we need to get her out of the Capitol. Now."

"But first we need to get this footage," Plutarch says. He claps his hands. "Come, let's get a move on!"

I wrap my arm around Peeta's waist as we climb out of the crater, and once we're in front of the Justice Building he's able to calm his breathing down and compose himself. Cressida feeds us lines from next to the camera, and Peeta repeats them perfectly. "We want all of Panem to know, that Thirteen is alive and well, and so are we!"

Rye and Madge have hung back with Finnick, trying to help him climb out of the crater, but not having much luck. Boggs goes back down to help them drag Finnick out and injects him with a sedative as soon as he reaches the lip of the crater. Peeta watches the whole scene with a fierce look of determination on his face. I see him inhale and exhale forcefully a couple of times before he turns to Boggs, who's still struggling with a now-sleepy Finnick in his arms.

"I'd like to volunteer to rescue Annie from the Capitol," he says. "We need to get her out of there as soon as possible. There's no telling how much longer she'll survive, and it's the right thing to do. You can see how much she and Finnick are suffering."

"No!" I say immediately, turning to look at my husband with wide eyes. He looks right back at me, his look of determination unwavering.

"Yes," he says. Then he turns to Plutarch. "Can it be done?"

Plutarch thinks for a minute. "Yes," he says. "Covers will be blown, but they were bound to blow sometime, and an operation such as this would strike a harsh blow to the Capitol if we're able to pull it off. I'll go contact my underground operatives in the Capitol right now." And he heads for the door.

"No Peeta!" I say, louder now and pulling on his hand to get his attention. "Look at me, you don't need to do this, there's professional soldiers here who can rescue Annie!"

"I'd never order anyone under my command on a mission such as this," Boggs says. "If it's a go, it'll be volunteer only."

"Then I'm volunteering," Peeta says again, his voice hard. I feel my heart starting to pound. What is he doing??

"If Peeta goes, then I'll go too, Katniss," Rye says. He nods down at Madge and squeezes her hand.

"And I'll go as well," Gale says quickly, exchanging glances with Rye.

I feel my eyes fill with tears and my body start to shake. This is probably some stupid thing that Peeta thinks that he needs to do to prove to me that he's not weak. But he doesn't need to prove anything to me. "Please Peeta, you don't need to do this! You don't need to prove anything to me!" I say, but he only squeezes my hand, refusing to meet my eyes.

Plutarch returns several minutes later, saying that he'd contacted his friends in the Capitol and they have arranged for the Capitol communications and airspace defenses to go down at dusk, in order to allow Thirteen's hovercraft to enter without being detected. Boggs then says he needs a six-man crew for the mission, with him being one of the six.

"I'm in then," Peeta says firmly.

Boggs looks over at Peeta, like he's sizing him up. Finally he nods. "All right. Go and get ready. We leave in two hours." He looks at Gale and Rye and they both nod. "We leave in two hours!"

Peeta pulls on my hand silently, leading me carefully back through the door and down the ladder, being just as attentive and careful with me as he always is. But his jaw is set and his blue eyes are determined. There's apparently nothing I can do to convince him to not go on this mission.

And that's when I get it. He's not volunteering to go and rescue Annie for Finnick's sake, and he's not doing it to prove to me that he's not a coward. He's doing it, to prove it to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think of Peeta's decision?
> 
> Thank you again for all of the kind and constructive comments!!


	12. The Rescue

PPOV 

We're back in the Remake Room while Haymitch and Beetee apply the extra pieces of armor to my uniform. Cressida has fitted the six volunteers' helmets with small cameras since none of the camera crew will travel with us. Plutarch and Coin don't want to miss the opportunity for us to get footage of Annie's rescue from the Capitol.

Katniss has already changed out of her Mockingjay uniform and it's been packed away now for safekeeping, in the unlikely event that she'll need it again after our son is born. I had to chuckle a little when the clothes they brought for her to change into included a pair of darker grey pants with some sort of elastic panel across the front. I guess they'd finally found their missing stash of maternity pants.

Rye, Gale, and Boggs, and I make up the rescue unit, along with two other volunteers who I don't know and don't really care to know right now, as long as they help us get the job done and get us back here safely. 

Haymitch and Beetee finish with me and wish me good luck as they head out of the room, leaving me alone with Katniss. Rye and Gale have gone down to the shooting range so Rye can get a crash course on shooting a pistol, and Boggs and the other two soldiers have already gone down to the hangar to prep the hovercraft. 

I turn to look at Katniss. She's sitting on a chair in the corner and playing with the end of her braid, her wedding ring catching the artificial light in the room. I walk over and crouch down in front of her with my hands on her thighs, but she refuses to look at me.

"Katniss," I say quietly. She tugs harder on her braid, but her grey eyes stubbornly stay focused on something over my shoulder. 

"Katniss," I repeat, a little louder this time. She shakes her head, still refusing to look at me, even when her lower lip starts to shake. "Love, please look at me."

"I don't want to!" she cries, with tears now rolling down her cheeks. My heart lurches in my chest, and I reach up to brush her tears away. Instinctively, she tilts her face against my hand and I lean forward, pressing my forehead to hers. 

"Why, Peeta?" she asks, her voice thick. "Why do you have to go? This is so dangerous! And you don't need to prove anything to anyone."

I exhale loudly and press my lips firmly to her forehead. "Yes I do. And not just to me, but to our son also. I don't want him to grow up thinking that his daddy is a frail, feeble excuse for a man."

Katniss looks up then, a look of shock and despair on her face. "You're not-!"

I reach up to cup her cheeks. "Yes. We are. All of us. My father, my brothers..., Katniss, none of them ever really stood up to my mother. Not really. My father knew what she did to us boys, and he never did anything to stop it. My brother Bannock? He was such a coward that he let the love of his life go, because he was too afraid to stand up to our mother. And Rye, well, he just tried to run away from his problems instead of facing them. He never wanted to inherit the bakery, but he was too scared to stand up for himself. And I can't... I can't let that continue! I can't let my son grow up thinking that all of the Mellarks who came before him were weak, pathetic men. Because it's going to stop, right now, with me. I'm going to put a stop to it, Katniss. Because I don't want my son to think this way about me when he's older. I want my son to be proud of me."

"So getting yourself captured, or even killed, will make him proud of you?" Katniss retorts. "How will that help? Leaving me a widow at seventeen?"

"Katniss," I sigh. I move my hand to her chin, keeping her from looking away from me. "Plutarch says that the Capitol's air defense system will be down by the time we get there. They won't see us coming, and they won't be able to fire at us even if they do see us. I'm not going to leave you a widow. And with the cameras installed on our helmets, you'll be able to watch the whole thing, if you want."

"Of course I want to watch!" she snaps. "I'm not going to be able to rest at all until you get back, you know that!"

"Katniss!" I say, louder than I meant to, but at least it gets her attention. "Think about it! If we're able to do this, it'll be a huge blow to the Capitol, and to Snow. And then we'll be that much closer to ending all of this. That much closer to going home! And I owe Finnick! He saved your life so many times in the Quell, I owe it to him to do the same for the woman he loves."

"Annie's not his wife, and they don't have a baby on the way," she says quietly, but she knows she's grasping at straws now.

"You know they'd be married if they could," I say as I tuck a stray piece of her hair behind her ear. "They were trying to keep their relationship a secret. Finnick was trying to protect her."

She nods, finally reaching her hands around my neck. "I just feel helpless, and I hate feeling helpless," she whispers. "And I don't like you going somewhere dangerous without me. I wish I could go with you."

I get to my feet and pull her into a tight hug. "But you understand why you can't, right?" I say, putting my hand on her belly. 

She nods against my chest, trying to stifle her sobs. "Please be careful. I'll be watching, and if you do anything stupid or reckless I'm going to be very angry with you."

I can't help but laugh a little. "I promise." I lean down to kiss her lips, all salty from her tears. She threads her fingers through my hair and pulls a couple of times as her tongue slips into my mouth, which causes my hips to automatically grind against her. 

"That's to give you incentive to come back alive," she says against my lips.

"That's good incentive," I whisper, kissing her firmly again. "I'm gonna remember that."

Haymitch knocks on the door then, poking his head into the room. "They're ready to go, Boy," he says somberly.

"All right," I say quietly. I pull Katniss into another tight hug, kissing her forehead as I release her to pick up my bow. "Take care of her while I'm gone, will you?" 

"Hopefully I won't have to," Haymitch retorts. Then he claps his hand on my shoulder. "You just be careful, and hurry back, okay? Sweetheart's no good without you."

"I will."

Rye and Gale are waiting for me down at the entrance to the hangar. Madge is here too, clinging to Rye's arm and looking like she's been crying. I immediately feel a twinge of guilt, thinking that Rye's only coming on this mission because he's worried that I'll flip out again. But once we've boarded the hovercraft, he tells me that he and Madge had been going round and round for a while, arguing about sending a team to try to break into the Capitol for intelligence purposes. So, since this trip will serve that purpose as well as to rescue Annie, I feel a little better after hearing that.

"Our intelligence source tells us that the two Victors, Annie and Gloss, are being held in the Tribute Center, and that Enobaria isn't with them," Boggs says. "So that's where we're heading." The Tribute Center. Such a fitting place to house prisoners, since that's essentially what the tributes are when they're there. Even when we were in the Capitol on our Victory Tour, Katniss and I couldn't come and go without an escort while we were staying there.

The flight to the Capitol is uneventful for the most part. Gale and Rye spend most of it talking about various weapons, with Gale showing Rye how his crossbow works and explaining the use behind the safety feature on Rye's new pistol. "Just make sure to turn the safety off when you try and shoot the bad guys," Gale says to him, earning him an elbow to the ribs.

We're about thirty minutes out from the Capitol when Boggs receives a message over his radio. He listens intently for a few minutes, then turns to the rest of us. "Katniss and Finnick are filming live propos while we're approaching the Capitol's airspace," Boggs says. "These are being broadcasted to every district right now, and if Beetee's successful with breaking into the Capitol's broadcast feed again, then Finnick will continue to air during the entire time that we're here, effectively jamming their communications for as long as Beetee can keep us on the air."

That sounds good, at least in theory. "And if Beetee can't break in to the Capitol's feed?" Rye asks Boggs.

"Then we'll only have fifteen minutes to find and extract the prisoner. Plutarch's contact inside the Capitol can't guarantee keeping the false communications feedback loop up for any longer than that."

I gulp. Fifteen minutes isn't that long, considering how huge the Tribute Center is and our lack of intelligence as to where exactly the Victors are being held. "Then let's hope Beetee's able to break in." I say. "Fifteen minutes won't be enough time."

Boggs nods. "You should take point when we arrive, Peeta," he says. "Since you've been in the Tribute Center before, you're the expert on its layout."

I gulp again as I nod. I'm really only familiar with the lobby and twelfth floors of the Tribute Center, and I can remember a little about the attached hospital. I wrack my brain for a moment, trying to think if I remember anything out of the ordinary about the hallways or elevators in the hospital when I was there. I can vaguely recall being amused by the fact that the floors in the hospital seemed to skip the number 3..."

"I think I might know where they're being held," I say excitedly. Boggs leans in, listening intently. "When I was in the hospital after my Games, I thought it was odd that there wasn't a third floor. The elevator buttons were labeled 1, 2, 4, and 5, with the button that would've indicated the third floor just a blank. I'll bet that's the floor where the prisoners are."

Boggs nods once, speaking into his radio. He nods again when he's finished a few minutes later. "All right. We'll go on that information first." 

My heart leaps into my throat shortly after that when Boggs indicates that we're about to enter the Capitol's airspace. All the air in the hovercraft seems to stand still as we all hold our collective breaths, praying that Plutarch's operative was able to disable the perimeter defenses. But our hovercraft passes through without issue, and I lean back into my seat as I exhale shakily. Boggs then demonstrates how to use the lines we'll be using to enter the building through the roof. I try to pay close attention through the pounding of my heart in my chest. Somehow, it'd never crossed my mind that we would enter through anywhere other than a door. On the ground. Like small, enclosed spaces, I don't do all that great with heights either.

"All right, helmets and masks on!" Boggs calls as the hovercraft approaches the landing platform on the roof of the huge Tribute Center. "Turn on night vision, all the lights will be out!"

The six of us stand near the platform as the hovercraft lands, our helmets and masks fastened and the cameras filming. The platform opens and Boggs shoots two large projectiles of the knockout gas through the glass ceiling, shattering it with a loud crashing sound as they fall thirteen stories to the floor below. He motions us to attach our lines to the hovercraft supports. "Unless there's a problem, the hovercraft will stay here and wait for us. But if they're detected, then they'll pull the lines back up and circle overhead until we're ready for pick up."

This is starting to sound worse and worse, but I have little time to dwell on it as Boggs double checks his line and jumps, down through the shattered ceiling and into the pitch black depths of the huge building. Gale indicates for Rye to go next. He looks over at me wide-eyed before taking a deep breath. "Here goes nothing!" he says as he jumps down.

The other two soldiers go next, and then Gale nudges me with his crossbow. "Your turn!" he says. I nod, swallow hard, and jump. It feels like I'm falling down forever, and I just barely remember to apply the line brake at the last second to slow my descent. I land heavily on my feet, but unhurt, with my bow still clutched in one hand. I breathe a sigh of relief, remembering that Katniss is likely watching every move I make by now.

"That was incredible!" Rye whispers loudly through his mask as we all regain our bearings for a few seconds. "It was like I was flying!"

"More like free falling," I mutter. And I'd just as soon never do that again. Just as that thought finishes, Boggs taps me on the shoulder to lead us over in the direction of the hospital. 

"This way," I say, pointing with my bow. We walk through the lobby, stepping over the unconscious bodies of a few Peacekeepers, and down a long hallway before reaching a door that leads to the stairs. We make our way up the six flights of stairs, where Boggs has to use some sort of electronic lock-picking device to get the door to open onto the third floor.

"Good work Peeta," he says as the door hisses and unlocks. "It's unlikely this door would be locked like this if they weren't trying to hide something." He opens the door a crack and throws two more vials of the knockout gas into the room, waiting a few seconds before motioning for us to follow him.

The scene that greets us when we pass though the door is shocking. We enter into a room that cannot be described in any other way than a torture chamber. There's shelves and counters full of sharp items of all shapes and sizes, different colored liquids filling jars and bottles, and row after row of syringes that look to be at least eight or nine inches long. Two rectangular metal tables, loaded with several sets of thick, leather restraints, sit in the middle of the first half of the room. A violent shudder passes though my body as I take it all in.

"What is this place?" I hear Gale say off to my right. 

"I don't think I wanna know," Rye replies, standing behind him. Even though his helmet and gas mask I can see the look of horror on his face, a look most likely mirrored in my own expression.

"This way," Boggs says, pointing ahead of us. I can see what looks to be like a row of what could only be prison cells on the far side of the room.

We step over the bodies of three more Peacekeepers as we make our way closer to the row of cells. Through the fog of gas filling the room, I can see the slight figure of Annie Cresta slumped over awkwardly against the bars in the first cell. 

"There's Annie!" I say, motioning to Boggs. He uses the lock-picking device to unlock the cell door, and I sling my bow across my back as I enter the cell and crouch down to pick her up. I can make out the outline of a few bruises and scrapes littered across her exposed skin, and through the almost paper-thin gown that covers the rest of her I can see that she's even thinner than Katniss, but she seems relatively okay otherwise. 

"We should see if Gloss is here too," I say as I emerge from the cell with Annie in my arms. "He did warn us about the attack on Thirteen, so we owe him."

Boggs checks his watch and then nods at Gale and Rye to move down towards Gloss's cell. His door is surprisingly unlocked, and Rye hoists the tall Victor over his shoulder quickly. 

"All right, then let's move out!" Boggs says. I can see the gas fog starting to dissipate as we walk back towards the door leading to the steps, where Boggs stops us abruptly, listening to something over his radio. Suddenly everything goes blindingly white in front of my eyes. I immediately drop to my knees, barely managing to keep a hold of Annie while I grapple frantically with the side of my helmet, trying to turn off the night vision.

"We need to hurry!" Boggs calls. "Beetee just told me that he's lost control of the feed, so we only have a few more minutes before we'll be detected."

"Shit! Then let's get moving, this guy's heavy!" Rye says as we race down the steps and across the now-lit lobby floor, with Gale bringing up the rear. Thankfully, our lines are still hanging there waiting for us, and I hand Annie off to one of the other soldiers as I help Rye hook Gloss's unconscious body to one of the lines. He's taken up immediately as I hook myself to another line, grabbing Annie back as we're both raised rapidly back up onto the roof of the building. The medic that we brought along takes Annie from my arms and towards the back of the hovercraft as I rip the mask away from my face, gulping in the deep breaths that I couldn't the whole time it was strapped to me.

"Let's go, go, go!" Boggs cries as he races onto the hovercraft and hauls the platform back into position. "The perimeter defense system is rebooting!"

"What does that mean?" I cry frantically. I cringe when I remember that Katniss is most likely still watching us, and try to roll back my panic a little. "What does that mean?"

"It means we need to get the hell out of here!" Gale cries. "Right now!"

My heart starts to pound rapidly as the hovercraft lifts off and shoots through the night, racing against time to make it to the border of the Capitol's airspace before the perimeter defense system is once again activated.

"It's activated!" Boggs says a minute later. Fear immediately grips my body. We're still a good couple of minutes from the border.

"So what's going to happen?" I manage to choke out, looking around at the rest of the group. But no one answers me. This type of thing has never been attempted before in any of our lifetimes. No one is sure of what will happen. My eyes briefly meet Gale's from across the aisle, and he looks scared. As scared as I've ever seen him. As scared as I must look to him.

But nothing happens. We cross over the border, and I can see Boggs asking to verify our position with the pilot afterwards, absolutely dumbfounded that the Capitol's defenses just let us pass through like they were still disabled. But I could see the lights marking the outlines of the gun towers as we flew by. I could see the electricity turning back on in the city as we left it behind. It seems like they just let us go. Why in the hell would they do that?

"Every gun they have was aimed right at us, and they let us go!" Gale says in a shocked voice. "Why would they do that?"

Boggs shakes his head. "I don't know, it doesn't make any sense. Let's just get home."

Rye sinks further into his chair and removes his helmet, running his hand through his hair a few times. "I don't care why they let us go. I'm just glad they did, because Madge told me she'd kill me if I didn't come back in one piece."

I lean my head back, thanking our lucky stars or whoever was up there listening for letting us go. I've closed my eyes, almost dozing off, when a commotion from the back of the hovercraft gets my attention. I look up just in time to see Gloss shoving the medic out of his way and stumbling up towards the front to where we're sitting.

Rye and Gale jump to their feet to try and stop him. Gloss is easily as tall as Gale and as broad as Rye, even after his weeks of captivity. "Whoa there big fella, it's okay!" Rye says, placing his hand on the center of Gloss's chest. "We got you out of the Capitol, and we're on our way to District 13 right now. Everything's gonna be okay."

Gloss looks between Rye and Gale, his face twisted in pained confusion. Then, before I can even stand up, his right hand juts out and pushes against Gale's chest so hard that he's knocked back against the seats. Then he points his index finger right in Rye's face. 

"You!" Gloss shouts, almost like a grunt. "All of this is your fault! You and that girl! You caused all of this!" And then he raises his hands, and locks his fingers around my brother's throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate comments! Please let me know what you think! :)


	13. Close Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss's perspective of the rescue.

KPOV

I don't really like waiting. In fact, I probably hate waiting. It always seems like such a waste of time. So when Cressida asks me if I want to film some live propos while Peeta's on the way to the Capitol, I jump at the chance. My only condition is that we film them outside.

So, once the television crew's all assembled aboveground, Cressida begins by asking me questions about my family growing up in District 12. And, much to Haymitch's delight, I actually open up a little.

I talk about my mother and father. I talk about how my mother fell in love with my father, and was then shunned by the rest of the district for marrying below her class. I talk about how much I loved my father, and how much he taught me about the woods and all the edible plants there. About how me made me my first bow and set of arrows and taught me how to hunt.

"Why did your father need to hunt illegally?" Cressida asks.

I tell her he had to hunt because otherwise we would have starved. That his wages for working twelve hours a day, six days a week in the coal mines still weren't enough for us to buy enough food from the district stores to feed our small family, especially in the winter. I also tell her about how my father taught me to trade my kills from the forest in the Hob and with the Merchant families for other necessities, and that during one of those trades was when I originally saw Peeta for the first time.

"You talked during the Quell about how Peeta saved your life after your father was killed," Cressida says. "Can you tell us a little more about that?"

I smile slightly. "Yes. Peeta not only gave me the bread that day in the rain when I was eleven, he gave me hope as well. It was the next day, when I saw the dandelion in the schoolyard, when I remembered what my father had taught me about finding food and how to make trades. Without Peeta, my mom, my sister, and I all would've starved to death."

"You must love him a lot," Cressida says.

"I do," I say. "But he loved me first. He watched over me in the arena, even when I thought he was trying to kill me. He saved me after I was stung by the tracker jackers and was almost killed for it. He was willing to die at the end so I could go home. He showed me love first, and he showed me that I could love him."

"And do you think that's what President Snow found so dangerous about the two of you? That Peeta was so willing to sacrifice himself for you?" Cressida asks.

I have to think for a moment. "I think that was part of it. We were apparently quite popular in the Capitol, so President Snow wanted to use our popularity to his advantage. But the real reason I think is that the Capitol doesn't like surprises, especially during the Hunger Games. So when I held out those berries to Peeta, and he took them from me, we surprised them. We forced them to choose between having two Victors or having none at all. We forced their hand, and Snow didn't like it."

"But wasn't that what you were trying to do," Cressida asks. "Weren't you trying to call their bluff?"

I shake my head. "No. All I could think about in that moment, was that I couldn't imagine going back home without Peeta."

"Because you loved him," Cressida says, smiling.

"Yeah," I say quietly. "I did, even though I didn't know it yet."

Cressida pauses for a few seconds before asking her final question. "And do you have anything else to say to President Snow now?"

I turn my gaze skyward and watch the flight of a hawk across the sky before answering. "Yes," I finally say. "President Snow told Peeta once that the Capitol was fragile. At the time, we didn't really know what he meant by that. But now, we understand. The Capitol's fragile because it depends on the districts for everything. Food, energy, even the Peacekeepers who police us. So if those of us in the districts declare our freedom, then the Capitol will collapse. As for Peeta and me, we've already declared our freedom. And now it's time for the rest of the people, for anyone who hasn't already, to declare theirs."

"That was brilliant, Katniss," Cressida says as Plutarch applauds from behind her. "Exactly what we needed from you."

I move to get up from my seat on the ground and am surprised to see Finnick standing with Haymitch off to the side. I figured that Finnick would be sleeping for a while still, but he looks like he's ready to take my place in front of the camera.

"You don't have to do this, you know," Haymitch says to him.

"Yes I do. I have to do something to help her." He balls up his rope in his hand and nods at Cressida. "I'm ready."

I don't know what to expect. Something like the questions that Cressida asked me, I guess. But what comes out of Finnick O'Dair's mouth has me so shocked that I have to eventually take a hold of Haymitch's arm in order to stay upright.

Finnick starts by explaining exactly how President Snow used him, as a prostitute, like he threatened Peeta to do to me. I had known that already. What I hadn't known was that Finnick wasn't the only one. That any Victor who was considered desirable would be offered as a reward or allowed to be purchased by one of the President's friends. And if you tried to refuse, then he would kill someone you loved.

My heart's in my throat as I listen to him. Peeta is so handsome, surely he would have been sucked into the grotesqueness that is the buying and selling of Victors, even with his sexual inexperience and his prosthetic leg. And me? Since I was a virgin, there could have been an auction for the rights to take my virginity. But, since Peeta and I were co-Victors, and the Star-Crossed Lovers who were adored by the Capitol citizens, Snow knew he couldn't really do any of that with us. Another reason for him to hate us.

"Did Snow do any of this stuff to you?" I whisper to Haymitch.

"No," he replies. "My mother and my younger brother. My girl. They were all dead two weeks after I was crowned Victor. Because of the stunt I pulled with the force field. After that, Snow had no one left to use against me."

"So why didn't he just kill you?"

"Because I was the example," Haymitch answers. The person to show all the young Finnicks and Cashmeres and Johannas. To show them what would happen if they caused any trouble, but Snow knew that he didn't have any real leverage against me."

"Not until Peeta and I came along, at least," I say. Haymitch just shrugs.

But then Finnick moves on to even more shocking topics. Yes, he was sold by President Snow, but Finnick's lovers would offer him money or other riches as well, so as to make themselves feel better I suppose. But Finnick explains that he quickly discovered a more valuable form of payment.

Secrets.

Finnick begins to weave a tapestry so rich in detail that you can't doubt its authenticity. Tales of strange sexual appetites, betrayals of the heart, bottomless greed, and bloody power plays. Drunken secrets whispered over damp pillowcases in the dead of night. Finnick was someone bought and sold. A district slave. A handsome one at that, but still harmless. Who would he tell? And who would believe him if he did? But some secrets are just too delicious not to share. Finnick begins to name off several prominent Capitol citizens, swirling their names with accusations of incest, blackmail, backstabbing, and arson. And then, after letting all of that sink in for a moment, he moves on to our illustrious President Coriolanus Snow.

"Such a young man when he rose abruptly to power," Finnick says. "And such a clever one to keep it. How, you must ask yourself, did he do it? One word. Poison."

Of course! How else would a snake stalk and kill its prey? Finnick goes back to Snow's political ascension, which I know nothing about, and works his way up to the present, pointing out case after case of the mysterious deaths of Snow's adversaries, or, even worse, his allies who had the potential to become threats. There's stories of people dropping dead at a feast, or slowly declining in health over several months, with their deaths blamed on elusive viruses, bad shellfish, or a previously overlooked weakness in the heart or cerebral blood vessels. Snow would drink from poisoned cups himself to deflect suspicion, but antidotes don't always work. And that's why he wears roses that reek of perfume, to cover up the scent of blood from his mouth from the sores there that will never heal. I remember Peeta telling me that he could smell the blood on Snow's breath. The memory makes me shudder.

Cressida is so enthralled with Finnick's story that she forgets to call 'cut' for several seconds after he stops talking. After she and the rest of the crew head back inside to start editing the footage, Finnick, Haymitch, and I wander back down to Special Defense, where I can see Madge pacing aimlessly back and forth behind Beetee's workstation. President Coin and Plutarch are there too, tapping their pencil erasers on the various surfaces and exchanging knowing glances.

Beetee is talking quietly into a headset when he abruptly leans back in his chair and covers the receiver, gesturing towards Finnick and me. "Peeta seems to think that the prisoners might be being held on the third floor of the hospital section. Do you two concur with that assessment?"

My face must have a look of bewilderment, because Beetee only looks at Finnick expecting an answer. I can't remember hardly anything about the hospital when I was there, besides how upset I was that no one would tell much about how Peeta was doing, or let me see him. But surprisingly it's Haymitch who answers him.

"Yes," Haymitch says slowly. "Yes, that makes sense. I remember now, when I escorted the Boy to get fitted for his prosthesis the buttons in the elevator being weird. I thought I was just extra drunk that day, but he's right. That must be where they are."

Beetee nods and starts speaking rapidly back into his headset receiver. Madge resumes her pacing. Coin and Plutarch resume their pencil tapping. The television screens stay blank. Finnick pulls out his rope. Haymitch chews on his nails as he studies the cement floor.

After a few more minutes of this I'm so wound up that I want to run back outside and shoot something. I just about cry with relief a few seconds later when the screens connected to the rescue teams' helmet cameras come to life. Immediately all of the eyes in the room are drawn to them and the temperature seems to raise a couple degrees. I can hear Boggs instructing the rescue team to turn on their night vision, and the screens take on a sort of brownish-green coloring to them.

My eyes stay fixated on the screen corresponding with Peeta's camera. My heart skips a beat when I feel him jump into nothingness and then hit the ground a few seconds later. Madge rolls her eyes and chuckles nervously when Rye says how much he enjoyed the line drop. I breathe shallow, rapid breaths the entire time they are inside the third floor, with its instruments of torture on display and the prison cells lining the back. Finnick sobs when Peeta picks Annie up and announces that she seems shaken up a bit, but okay otherwise. I shake my head when he suggests that they should get Gloss also, because somehow it doesn't seem like a good idea, but he did warn us about the bombing, so...

I jump violently when the lights suddenly turn back on in the lobby of the Tribute Center, nearly blinding the rescue team and flashing white-hot light throughout Special Defense. Coin immediately asks Beetee what's happening, but he doesn't hear her because Boggs is yelling into his ear.

"I've lost the feed!" Beetee says, frantically pushing buttons on his console to no avail. "The perimeter defense is rebooting! Boggs, get your team out of there!"

"Oh no!" Madge cries. The team is finally able to regain their senses and turn off the night vision, racing across the glass-strewn floor of the lobby over to where their lines are hanging. We watch as Peeta helps Rye hook Gloss to one of the lines. He's taken up immediately, and Peeta hooks himself to the next one, grabbing Annie and shooting back up to the rooftop. Rye and the other two soldiers follow, with Boggs and Gale coming up once everyone else is secure.

Madge and I have moved together and grasped each other's hands without even realizing. Finnick pulls his rope back out when Beetee announces that the defense system has reactivated, and I can feel the panic in Peeta's voice over the screen when he asks about what happens next and no one can answer him. Holding my breath along with Madge and Finnick, we all nearly collapse in relief when the hovercraft passes through the defense perimeter without a problem.

But Haymitch isn't convinced. His narrowed eyes stay focused on the screen, eyeing it suspiciously. "That was way too easy-" he starts to say.

"Oh no! Look out!" I cry as I see Gloss barreling up the aisle of the hovercraft, with Rye and Gale standing to try and stop him. I've barely registered the fact that Gloss has knocked Gale out of the way when his large hands wrap around Rye's throat and throw him down onto the hovercraft floor, trying to strangle the life out of him. "Oh my God, he thinks Rye is Peeta!"

"Ryen!" Madge cries pathetically, with tears streaming down her face. Peeta is able to react first and wraps his arms around Gloss's broad chest, trying to pull him off of Rye. But Gloss is strong, and jabs his elbow so hard into Peeta's face that it knocks him backwards, throwing his helmet off and killing the feed from his camera. Boggs tries to help next, earning him a punch to the side of his head, and there's a few horrible seconds where we can't see what's going on. By the time Gale moves enough for us to see from his camera, Rye is still conscious and struggling against Gloss's hands, but only barely. Gale raises his crossbow and fires at Gloss's back, causing him to collapse right on top of Rye. Gale quickly pulls the arrow out of Gloss and throws him off of Rye while Peeta crawls over to cradle Rye's head.

"Don't try to talk, don't try to talk," Peeta says to his brother, settling with Rye's head in his lap. I can see his eye swelling rapidly from Gloss's blow. The medic runs up to them with some sort of hard collar that he wraps carefully around Rye's neck and repeats Peeta's instructions to stay quiet.

"He's still breathing, Madge," I whisper to her, still clutching her hand. "He'll be okay."

"He damn well better be," she says, sniffling and trying to wipe her tears away. "He likes to think he's invincible, I think."

I turn to look at Haymitch. "Why did Gloss attack them? He thought Rye was Peeta. Why would he want to attack Peeta?"

Haymitch shakes his head, his brow furrowed like he's deep in thought. "I don't know, Sweetheart. I don't know."

"He's dead," Gale's voice says from the screens. He's talking to the medic now. "I shot him through the back."

"We're all okay, Katniss!" I hear Peeta call over the screen. "Tell Madge that Rye'll be okay."

Madge pulls me into a hug, sobbing hysterically over my shoulder. "He's okay, he's okay," I repeat, over and over again.

"They should be back in about two to three hours, depending on the wind," Beetee says, leaning back into his chair and mopping his forehead.

Coin and Plutarch haven't said a word this entire time. Plutarch finally looks back at us, with Madge still sobbing against my shoulder, and nods. "The mission was a success," he says, and walks away. My mouth drops open in surprise. How could he be so callous right now, when one of ours, Madge's husband and my brother-in-law, was almost killed. Coin surprises me even more by not saying a single word to any of us as she walks swiftly out of the room.

I lead Madge over to a set of chairs against the wall. Finnick and Haymitch follow us, sitting quietly. We sit there for I don't know how long. Finnick playing with his rope, me running my hands up and down over my belly, Madge twirling her wedding band around her finger. I've never looked closely at her wedding ring before. It's gold in color, and looks older, like it's been passed down. Rye, like Peeta, doesn't wear a wedding ring, but I imagine that his would look the same if he did. Wedding rings are expensive, too expensive even for many Merchant families, so I would guess that Madge's ring has been passed down in the family for a few generations. My own ring is probably one of the first in their family that hadn't been a hand-me-down.

Finally, at around midnight, Beetee's radio crackles to life from around his neck, where he put it when he put his head down on his desk to rest a little. He startles awake and listens intently for a few seconds. "They're back," he says, turning to us. "They're heading right for the hospital."

Madge and I jump up right away, but Finnick seems frozen in his chair, so I take his hand and lead all of us down to the hospital level. The place is in an uproar when we arrive, with doctors and nurses shouting orders and crisscrossing in front of us. We're almost sideswiped by the gurney carrying Rye into a room, and Madge veers off immediately to follow him.

"Finnick!" We hear from further down the hall, somewhere between a shriek and a cry of joy.

"Annie!" Finnick replies, just as tortured sounding. He starts to run towards his love, who's wearing nothing but a sheet but doesn't seem to notice or care. I can see bruises and scrapes covering part of her face and arms, and her long, auburn hair is tangled, but they run towards each other like they're the only two people in the world. No one who could see them right now could doubt their love for each other.

I round the final corner and nearly crumple to the floor when I see Peeta walking with Gale and Boggs, with a huge and horrible-looking welt under his right eye, still clutching his bow with one hand. An ugly sob wretches itself from my throat as I run towards him, throwing my arms around his neck with enough force that he stumbles back a couple of steps. His arms move to envelop me, pulling me as close as possible without crushing my belly against him.

"I'm okay, love," he whispers into my hair. "I'm okay now." And I think to myself, as I bury my face into his shoulder and inhale his always-present scent of cinnamon and vanilla, that no one who could see me now should ever doubt how much I love him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of the kind comments! I can't tell you how much I appreciate them. :)


	14. Decisions

PPOV 

I'm sitting on a gurney in one of the smaller hospital rooms while Prim applies some sort of healing ointment to the welt under my right eye. At first the doctors were concerned that I might've broken my cheekbone, so they shoved me into a tube for an hour to take pictures of the bones in my face, which I only managed to survive though by listening to Katniss sing to me through a speaker placed inside the tube. After all that, it was discovered that it was just a cut and a really bad black eye. Nothing I haven't had before.

I wish I could say the same for my poor brother. The doctors had put him into the tube first, to check the extent of the injures to his neck and throat. After he came out it was concluded that in a few more seconds his larynx could've been crushed, and the blood flow to his brain would've been interrupted for too long, potentially leading to permanent brain injury or death. He'd been only seconds away from dying. And all because Gloss mistook him for me.

It's almost three in the morning, and Katniss is stretched out on the gurney with her head in my lap and her arms around my waist. She's asleep, but not deeply, as every now and then I feel her arms tighten around me.

"There, I'm finished," Prim says as she replaces the cap on the jar of ointment. It smells strange, but the throbbing pain in my face has decreased at least.

"Thank you Prim," I say quietly. "Any more news on how Rye's doing?"

"I was just in there before I came back here," she says. "They have him in a cold collar right now, so he's shivering a bit, but he's not in danger. Everything should heal up okay as long as he stays still enough for the next day or so. Madge and Gale are both in there with him."

I swallow hard. Two years ago, if you would have told me that Gale Hawthorne would willingly save my brother's life, I would've laughed in your face. "Thank goodness for Gale and his crossbow."

"It's not your fault that Gloss jabbed you in the face," Prim admonishes. "Don't go blaming yourself."

"Gloss thought Rye was me," I snap as I run my hand through my messy hair. "It was like he was programmed to attack me, and he got Rye by accident. I want to know why!"

Prim takes a deep breath, and I can see how exhausted she is. "I'll go see how the autopsy is coming," she says. "They're trying to figure out what was wrong with Gloss too."

"Thank you," I mumble, watching her as she leaves the room and feeling bad for snapping at her. I rub my hand softly over Katniss's belly. It seems like she's gotten bigger all of a sudden, just in the last few days. Then it occurs to me then that we're halfway through the pregnancy already. Oh my God, we're halfway there. I'm going to be a daddy in just a few more months.

Prim comes back into the room. "Everyone's gathered in Rye's room," she says. "The autopsy isn't completely done yet, but they think they at least know why Gloss might've attacked Rye."

I nod as I gently shake Katniss's shoulder to wake her. She sits up, looking confused for a second before scrubbing at her eyes. "What time is it?" she mumbles.

"Too late for you to still be down here with me," I tell her as I kiss her cheek. "Why don't you head back to our room and go to sleep?"

She shakes her head stubbornly, like I knew she would. "No. I'm not leaving you alone. What's going on?"

"Plutarch, Haymitch, and Beetee are down in Rye's room," Prim says. "They have some answers for us."

"I like answers," Katniss says, rubbing her eyes again. She reaches for my hand and laces our fingers together.

Rye's room is down the hall and around the corner. He's lying with his upper body propped up on several pillows, with a very uncomfortable-looking hard collar around his neck and three blankets covering the rest of him. Madge is sitting in a chair next to his bed, holding his hand under the blankets. Her eyes are red and puffy, but she smiles at me as we enter the room.

"So," Plutarch begins. "From what the doctors conducting the autopsy have told us, it looks like Gloss was subjected to an older form of torture called hijacking. There were very high levels of tracker jacker venom in his blood."

Confused looks appear on everyone's faces. "It's basically fear-conditioning," Beetee says. "Katniss, you remember how you felt when you were stung in your Games? How you were scared? The venom targets the part the brain that houses fear. In a basic sense, Gloss was programmed to fear you and Peeta so much that he felt like his life was threatened when he saw him."

"Snow turned him into a weapon," Haymitch says. "To kill you. Both of you."

"But how?" I ask. "It doesn't make any sense! We'd only met him maybe a couple of times? Even with the venom, how could he be that scared of us?"

"Memories can be changed, tampered with," Beetee says. "The subject is shown a tape of an event, for example. They can show up to a certain point, and then inject the venom, which activates the fear center of the brain. Then they show the rest of the tape, and from then on the subject remembers it only in that altered form, so that when they're shown that event again, or another tape with the same person or circumstance, they'll be frightened again, even without the venom."

"Gloss's sister was in the Quell with you, Katniss," Plutarch says. "And she was killed. That's the type of memory that they would show him."

"But Katniss didn't even kill his sister!" I say angrily, feeling my eye start to throb again. "Johanna did!"

"But I would've tried, if Cecelia and Johanna hadn't stopped me," Katniss says. 

"And that's exactly what they could manipulate," Plutarch says. "They can change his memory to make it look like Katniss killed Cashmere. It's surprisingly easy to do that sort of thing."

"Regardless of how," Beetee says. "It's our conclusion that he was programmed to severely injure or kill both of you." He points to Katniss and me. "Rye was just a simple case of mistaken identity. I know I have to double-check between the two of you sometimes."

A shudder goes through my body at the thought that there was this huge person out there who was programmed, like a Capitol mutt, to kill my Katniss. "Was he the only one like this?" I ask. "What about Annie, is she okay?"

"She seems okay," Beetee says. "There's no venom in her blood, and she's relatively okay aside from some bruises and being denied food for a while. My guess is that she was only being held to try and force Finnick into trying to bargain for her."

"Okay, so are there any more of these people out there?" Madge asks. "How can we be sure Gloss was the only one?"

Plutarch shrugs. "We can't. But we do suspect that there are no longer any Victors who are still alive other than the ones here in Thirteen, except for maybe Enobaria. President Snow was quite thorough in that regard."

Haymitch, Beetee, Johanna, Finnick, Annie, Katniss, and myself. And maybe Enobaria. We're all that's left of the Hunger Games Victors. 

"So what are you saying?" Katniss snaps. "That we should be happy that Snow's killed off the rest of the Victors because then he can't program any more of them to try and kill us?"

"I'm saying that you should be happy that Rye is still alive," Plutarch says. "That Gloss didn't kill you or Peeta. President Snow executed Peeta's stylist and prep team live on television after their power came back on. And we're assuming that he thought Peeta wouldn't make it back here alive either. Let's try to look at the bright side, shall we?"

I feel my shoulders slump. Portia is dead. Executed on live television. I hear Katniss gasp as she takes in that information. Both of our stylists. Brave and proud Cinna and Portia, who designed our Mockingjay suits and were part of the rebel underground in the Capitol. Both now dead. The gnawing ache that's taken root in the pit of my stomach ever since Gloss was killed grows larger.

"Anyway, I suggest that we all go and get some sleep now," Beetee says. "There's nothing more that we can do tonight."

"All right," I say quietly. Beetee nods and wheels himself out of the room, followed by Plutarch and Haymitch. I watch them go, feeling very defeated and helpless. How many more people that I know and love are going to be injured or killed because of me?

"Peeta," Madge says suddenly. She must have seen the look on my face. "Rye doesn't blame you for what happened." I gulp and look down at my brother, who winks at me with one of his bloodshot eyes and motions for me to come closer. 

"I'm still better looking than you," he whispers hoarsely into my ear. "That's why Gloss went for me instead."

I look at him and roll my eyes, not able to hide the smirk that appears across my face. I'm so glad to see that his near-death experience at least hasn't damaged his morbid sense of humor.

Madge comes around and hugs both of us. Then I tug on Katniss's hand and we walk back to our room in silence. We're both barely able to get our shoes off before collapsing on the bed in exhaustion.

It's almost lunchtime the next day by the time we wake up. After a quick shower we head to the cafeteria to eat. Gale is there along with Johanna, who is giggling at something that he said. When we sit down he tells us that Madge is still staying with Rye in the hospital, but that Rye expects to be discharged tomorrow morning. Annie is also doing well and expected to be discharged.

"How are you doing?" Gale asks me, gesturing with his spoon at my bruised eye. 

I shrug. "I've had worse." Katniss scowls and wraps her hand around my arm. I swallow a bite of bread and look directly at him. "Thank you, Gale. For saving my brother."

Gale nods, his cheeks reddening slightly. "Yeah," he says. "Rye would've done the same for me." 

I nod, looking back down at my tray. After a few seconds, Gale clears his throat. "You guys should come down sometime soon and see what Beetee and I've been working on," he says. "I think you'll be impressed."

"All right," I say. "We can come down after lunch, if that works. They didn't bother giving us a schedule today."

"That sounds fine," Gale says as he picks up his tray to leave. "Just come find us down in Special Defense when you're done."

After he's walked away I turn to Johanna. "And how're you doing?"

Johanna spends the rest of lunch telling us about how she's been finally cleared for combat training, and how excited she is to finally be able to do something useful. Her rather crude and blunt way of talking is even enough to make me laugh a little bit as we finish our bland food and head out of the cafeteria towards Special Defense.

Even though we've been there several times now, Katniss and I still get lost twice trying to find Special Defense, and I can't help but notice that every person that we pass on the hallways seems to stare at us. Me with my bruised face and Katniss with her protruding stomach, and not to mention the fact that everyone in Thirteen seems to know what happened last night. I'm getting really tired of always being observed so closely. Like we're still in the arena, with cameras following our every move.

Gale and Beetee are in one of the research rooms when we finally arrive, bent over a crude drawing of what I remember to be one of the snares that Gale taught us when we were training for the Quell. As I look around, I can see other snares drawn out and tacked up on the corkboard walls. There's even three-dimensional models of them on several of the computer screens in the room. 

"What's this?" Katniss says suspiciously. "These look like your snares, Gale."

Gale smiles proudly. "They are, sort of," he says. "Beetee and I have been working on taking the basics behind the traps I used to use in the forest and adapting them into weapons."

We're stunned into silence for a few seconds. "You can't be serious," Katniss finally says, her grey eyes wide with disbelief.

"Why not?" Gale answers. "Look here," and he launches into a detailed description of one of the traps. Frightening prey so that a large number all flee in one direction, into an even greater danger. Threatening offspring to lure out the parents. Exploding a bomb to draw in help for the wounded, and then exploding another one to kill even more.

Oh no. No, no, no. This is just wrong. It's not that the traps themselves are so horrible, it's the psychology behind them. They're basically booby traps. Cruel and inhuman. Preying on people's worst fears, or shows of compassion. Is this really what we've become? I feel my hands clenching into fists.

"How can you possibly think about using these, these traps, on actual people?" I manage to say. "This is crossing a line that no one should cross."

Gale glares at me hard. "Just like when Snow crossed a line, and programmed another man to attack my friend?" he snaps. "We're just using the same rule book that he used."

"Gloss thought he was attacking Peeta!" Katniss cries. "And do you really want to lower yourself down to President Snow's level? I mean, you're talking about threatening children here, to lure out their parents? Would you include my child in that attack?"

Gale's face blanches white, but his grey eyes flash in anger. "I'm not talking about attacking your child, Catnip," he says through clenched teeth. "This is about attacking the enemy."

"But we're the enemy to the enemy," I say. "And if we're coming up with things like this, when we're supposed to be the ones who are in the right, then I can't possibly imagine what the ones who are in the wrong are coming up with."

Gale folds his long arms across his chest. "I thought you, of all people, would understand," he says in a hard voice. "After watching Catnip in the Quell, and then with what happened to Rye, I thought for sure you'd understand what we're trying to do here."

I look at him straight in the eye. He's not a bad person, Gale. He's just angry, and anger makes people do horrible things sometimes. Things they tend to regret later on. "I wouldn't wish, what I went through watching Katniss in the Quell, on anyone," I say slowly as I shake my head. "Not on anyone."

I don't know how long we stare at each other, but it takes Beetee saying my name two or three times and Katniss tugging on my hand before I notice. 

"Peeta," Beetee says. "No one wants to be cruel. Certainly I don't want to be cruel. But the design of these weapons allows for fewer of our troops to lose their lives. Without these, we'd have to physically go through and occupy each of the districts, and who knows how many of our soldiers would die trying to do that? Not to mention we just don't have the manpower to occupy every single district."

"But I thought the districts were rallying?" Katniss says. "Isn't that why Peeta and I were doing all of those propos?"

"Rebels rallying is a lot different from completely controlling the district," Gale says. "Right now, we control Eleven, Ten, Eight, and Three. Twelve has been destroyed, which leaves One, Two, Four, Five, Six, Seven, and Nine. That's still a lot of ground to cover."

"Then we need to rally the rebels more. I'll go and visit each of those districts personally, if that's what it takes," I plead. "We can help them with ideas on how they can do more to take control themselves, without attacking children or poisoning the water supply. Please, Gale. Please listen to me."

But Gale just looks at me, his eyes steely grey. "Fine," he finally says. "We can talk about it."

So we do. The very next day, Katniss and I are sitting in the new Command room in Special Defense, pleading our case to Plutarch and Coin. They both listen intently to my arguments and then sit there, tapping their pencil erasers on the table. 

"Mmmhmm," Coin finally says. "So let's say you're able to get the rebels to rally enough to overthrow their remaining Peacekeepers and take control of the district. What do you suggest we do then with all of the Peacekeepers, or any of the other people who remained loyal to the Capitol?"

"We can offer them the chance to join us," I say immediately. "From what Plutarch has told us, most of the Peacekeepers aren't really treated that much better than servants anyway, so I think it would probably surprise you how eager they might be to help us."

"Having already trained soldiers would come in very handy once we're ready to move against District 2, and the Capitol," Boggs says, nodding at me. "Not to mention the possible intelligence that we could glean from them."

"And if they don't join us?" Coin says to me, her voice dangerously quiet. 

"Then I guess you'll have to make use of your dungeon prisons for a while, until this whole thing is over. Then they can be tried as war criminals. But I really doubt that many of them will go that way." I feel Katniss squeeze my leg reassuringly under the table.

Then Coin turns to Beetee. "How long would it take for you to have your snare weapons ready to use?"

Beetee pushes his glasses back up on his nose. "I'd say about two to three months," he says. "Maybe a little longer, but not too much." Gale nods his agreement.

"All right then, Mockingjay," Coin says, looking back at me. "That's how long you have to rally your troops. But after these weapons are ready, if there's any district that remains not under our control, we will use these weapons. Because we need every single district to fall in line before we move on to the Capitol."

I reach under the table for Katniss's hand, which feels just as clammy as my own. "Fine," I say firmly. "When do I leave?"

"You need to be trained first," Boggs says. "You've completed the intro classes already, yes?" I nod. "All right. Then tomorrow you'll start combat training. Basic training usually takes four to six weeks, but for you we can speed it up a bit. Let's say you can leave for District 6 in two weeks. Gale and I will go with you, and once your brother is completely healed, he can join us as well."

"We can even get Finnick and Johanna to visit their home districts with you," Plutarch says. "That would really help rally the troops to see their own beloved Victors there to personally meet the people."

"I want to train also," Katniss says. "Otherwise I won't have anything to do."

"Katniss, I don't think you need to go through combat training," I say. "You need to just take it easy."

She puts her hand on my arm and shakes her head. "I want to do this. There has to be exercises that are safe for me. And the camera crew can film me, so the people in the districts aren't wondering where I've gone."

"That's actually a really good idea," Plutarch says. "She should continue to be seen just as much as you are, Peeta. Even if she won't be traveling with you on this Victory Tour."

"And she won't be!" I say loudly, cringing at Plutarch calling it a Victory Tour. "But don't you want to continue to keep the pregnancy a secret? I don't want President Snow knowing about the baby!"

"There's plenty of camera techniques that can be used to hide a pregnancy," Plutarch says, trying to be reassuring in his sarcastic, smirky way. "And we can even drop in artificial backgrounds into the footage, to make it look like she's in different places."

"As long as you're extremely careful with her," I say, trying to stay calm. "I want her mother to approve every exercise that she's given to do, before she does anything. And if she needs to rest, then you'll let her rest."

Plutarch's eyes crinkle at the corners. "Of course, Peeta. It's not in our best interests to put your wife or your baby in danger."

I feel Katniss squeeze my hand. "I'll be all right, Peeta," she says quietly. "At least I'm able to do something."

I exhale loudly. "All right then. When should I start training?"

Boggs and Beetee look at each other and then look at me. "Tomorrow, with Gale," Boggs says. "Report to the training center after breakfast."

"Great. I'll be there."

"All right, now that that's settled, I need to get to a meeting with the camera crew," Plutarch says, and he stands up and leaves the room. Gale, Coin, and Boggs follow shortly after, leaving Katniss and me sitting in the room alone. I mentally brace myself for what I think is coming. 

But she surprises me. "You're doing the right thing," Katniss says, her eyes on the table and her thumb rubbing circles on my hand. She shakes her head slightly. "I can't believe Gale came up with those... those traps."

I reach for her chin and turn her face to look at me. "Katniss, you know I don't want to be away from you at all, right?"

She nods, her lower lip quivering. 

"But I can't willingly sit by and do nothing. If going on this so-called Victory Tour will save lives, then I have to do it. We need to show Snow that we're not the same as he is, with no regard for the lives of the people."

She nods again. "I know that. You're such a good person, Peeta, and you make me a better person through you. It's just, sometimes I wish it wasn't always up to us to do the right thing. You may not be going back to the Capitol, but there's going to be people in these districts that will want you dead, and that's going to worry me."

I stand up and pull her into a hug. "I know. So often I wish I could just be a baker again, and not have to worry about all of this war stuff." I lean down to cup her face. "But Boggs and Gale will be with me. They'll make sure nothing happens to me. I'll make it back, each time." Then I kiss her forehead and hug her close again, running my hands up and down her back. We stand there like that for a few seconds when I feel something push slightly against my hip and pull back abruptly.

"What was that?" I say, looking at Katniss in confusion. She smiles and takes my hand, placing it on her stomach. 

"Did you feel that?" she asks. "The baby is moving!"

A look of astonishment crosses my face as I feel my son's tiny foot kick against my hand. "Oh, he's strong!" I say in awe as I feel another kick. "Doesn't that hurt you?"

"No, not really," Katniss says, her smile widening as she studies my face. "Sometimes it's a little uncomfortable, but that's it. Mom says though that towards the end the baby's movements can get more uncomfortable, since they start to run out of room."

Trying to imagine the little scowl on my son's face as he tries to stretch out inside my tiny wife makes me laugh. "If he keeps this up, he's going to just bust out of you one of these days. I can't believe how strong he feels."

Katniss giggles. The sound of her laughter is so beautifully musical I could never tire of hearing it. "I'd hope he would choose to be born first before trying to break out of me," she says. Then she reaches her hands around my neck and tugs me down for a kiss. 

"And of course he's strong," she whispers after our lips have parted, rubbing her fingertips through the hair on the back of my neck. "He's our son."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the purposes of my story I'm using a map of Panem that I found here on AO3 called META: Map of Panem and Placement of the Districts. Suzanne Collins is pretty vague on where the districts are located in the original trilogy, and I've found this map to be the most accurate representation of where the districts would be located. It can be found here:  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/4809488
> 
> And as always, thank you very much for the lovely comments! I very much appreciate each and every one!


	15. Downtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little calm in the middle of the storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is definitely M-rated, including a few naughty words, so read at your own risk! ;)

KPOV

"All right Katniss, you've done enough for today," the calisthenics trainer says to me. She holds a hand out to help me stand back up from my mat and pats me on the shoulder. "You're doing well. A lot of these exercises will help your body prepare for birth, in addition to looking good for the cameras."

I smile slightly and thank her. The trainer's I would guess to be around fifty and just as fit as a woman half her age. She has three kids of her own also, two grown daughters who work in various places around Thirteen, and one son who she lost in the pox epidemic almost a decade ago.

My mother and Peeta worked with the various trainers to come up with a list of exercises that were both safe for me and the baby and looked good enough during filming to be useful for propos. I'm allowed to shoot with my bow and arrows at stationary targets, walk laps around the training facility's track, and these calisthenic exercises that are mainly a lot of stretching and breathing. Then the camera crew takes the footage and does all sorts of fancy things to it to make it look like I'm in actual combat situations. It's actually quite mind-boggling to me how different the finished product looks once they're done.

I wave to Peeta as I exit the training area and head back to our compartment, stripping off my sweaty clothes as soon as I get there. As I take my allotted six-minute shower I find myself unconsciously running my hands over my rounded belly. Peeta says that I've really popped in the last couple of weeks, and I think he's right. It looks like there's a rubber ball hiding under my shirts now. Tomorrow I'll be 32 weeks along, which means less than two months to go. Tomorrow's also the day that my mother is throwing something she calls a baby shower for me. It's basically a party where a bunch of women get together and share baby stories and give gifts to the expecting mother. I only allowed it when she told me that Peeta had gotten permission to bake some cheese buns for it. He knows I'll do almost anything for more of his cheese buns.

Peeta's Victory Tour through the districts has been going remarkably well. Actually, it's been going so well that President Coin almost seems disappointed by it. He's been able to rouse the rebels enough to take over in all the districts now except for Four, One, and Two. Two will still be the most difficult, so we're leaving that one for last. Johanna went with Peeta and Gale on the trip to District 7, and Rye recovered from his throat injury and was able to train quickly enough to join Peeta on the trips to Nine and Five. He leaves for District 4 in a couple of days, with Finnick accompanying him this time instead of Rye since Four is Finnick's home district.

Peeta will be in his training session for another thirty minutes or so. He's probably working on his sparring now, or running the Simulated Street Combat course. Ever since Beetee made him his new leg when he first got here he's been able to run so much better than he could before and his hip doesn't get as sore anymore. I still massage his leg and hip every night that I can. He says that the massage helps with any discomfort more than the pain cream the physical therapist gave him. It also gives me a good excuse to run my hands over his body, which then usually leads to his hands running over my body.

I rub my stomach again, feeling our baby wiggle and kick. Every morning that he's here, before the alarm announcing the start of breakfast pulls us reluctantly from the bed, I feel Peeta's hands gently running over my belly as he talks softly to the baby. He probably thinks I don't hear him, but my Capitol ear doesn't miss that much, and I often have to hide the tears in my eyes at how sweet it is.

The shower beeps right then, reminding me that I only have minute left. I quickly soak my hair and scrub in shampoo, barely able to rinse all of the suds out before the water shuts off. Six minutes is never long enough for me. Living in Victor's Village, with its luxurious showers and seemingly endless supply of hot water, had spoiled me enough that going to these timed showers where the water is warm but never hot has been surprisingly difficult, even after all this time.

I shiver a little as I dry myself off with the grey towel and grab my plain undergarments. I pull my faded grey, button-down shirt over my head and see that it now barely fits around my stomach. I'll need to trade out my shirts for bigger ones soon. I pull the elastic panel of my pants up over my belly, chucking a little at how much darker in color they are than the rest of my clothing. The maternity pants haven't been used nearly as much as the rest of the clothes here. Lately though, I've noticed a definite increase in the number of pregnant women that I've seen around, thanks mostly to the refugees from Twelve and the other districts. A lot of the former Peacekeepers have gotten married since they've arrived in Thirteen, with several of their new wives already expecting. Since they weren't allowed to marry or claim children during their twenty years of service, I can understand their motivation to not wait too long.

I finish braiding my hair back and walk into the living area to sit down on the couch. Usually after my abbreviated training sessions are over I head down to the hospital to visit with Prim for awhile and let her practice her prenatal exams on me. But lately Rory's been hanging out there a lot as well, and they seem to be giving Prim more and more responsibilities lately, so maybe I'll leave her alone today. I could pass the time before Peeta comes back and we go eat dinner by reading one of the dog-eared books in the recreation room, or watching one of the decades-old television shows that they have on down there. There's one show in particular that I've come to enjoy. Earth's Mightiest Heroes I think it's called, or something like that. It's a group of people who are superheroes who save a big city called New York from aliens who are trying to take it over for their own use. I like it because it has an archer, but the rest of the heroes are also fun to watch. Funnily enough, one of them, the guy with the hammer, even looks like a blond version of Gale. But I'm not really in the mood to watch TV right now.

Restless, I get up and start pacing back and forth as I absentmindedly rub my belly. No, I know what I need. I need to see Peeta.

I walk quickly back up to the training area. Rye, Gale, Johanna, and Madge are all up there too. Finnick must have finished already since I don't see him. Johanna and Madge are running through the SSC course. Gale is practicing his sharpshooting with his crossbow, and Rye and Peeta are sparring. I take a minute to admire my handsome husband as he circles around with his brother, both of them trying to encourage the other to attack first. I remember sitting with Madge and watching the two of them do this back at school during a wrestling tournament a few months before the reaping for the 74th games. Rye had beaten Peeta in that wrestling match, but only barely.

When Peeta had first been brought here to Thirteen he was in rough shape. He'd lost almost twenty pounds, the tendons in his hip were starting to shear apart due to his ill-fitting prosthesis, and he had such a horrible infection in the stump of his bad leg that for a while the doctors thought they might have to amputate more of it. It took him over a month to recover from the infection, and even longer for him to gain all his weight back. But now...

Now, with a new leg that actually fits him properly, three decent, if rather tasteless meals a day, and the motivation of what we're trying to accomplish with this revolution, his body has recovered and filled out to such a state of deliciousness that I feel a blush creeping up my neck as I watch him. As he crouches down in the stance he uses right before he attacks his brother, I see his well-defined legs and backside filling out his cargo pants. As he grabs Rye and brings him up and over his shoulder before pinning him to the mat, I see the muscles in Peeta's back ripple underneath the thin cotton of his grey t-shirt. And, as he laughs and reaches a hand down to Rye to help him back up to his feet, I see the biceps flex in those strong arms of his. Those arms that I can never get enough of. Those arms that hold me so tightly against him and help keep the nightmares away.

"All right, that's it for today!" a loud voice calls over a megaphone. Madge runs over and takes Rye's hand and Gale joins them as they start walking back towards where I'm standing in the shadows. Peeta's face is sweaty and flushed and his eyes are shining. He's laughing at something that his brother has said, or maybe Gale, I don't know. All I know right now is I need to get my hands on him.

Gale sees me first. "Hey Catnip," he says, but I don't even acknowledge him as I throw myself into Peeta's arms, _those arms,_ that immediately wrap around me. I can't crush myself as close to him as I'd like because of my belly, but I manage to get my hands up around his neck and pull him to me anyway.

"Hey!" he says in a surprised voice before my lips latch onto his. He's so taken aback at first that he doesn't respond right away, but then I feel his lips melting against mine and his arms, _those arms_ , tighten around my nearly non-existent waist. I can hear Johanna snort as she passes us as I keep my lips pressed to Peeta's until we finally need to break apart to breathe.

"Hey," I whisper to him, barely aware of Rye wolf-whistling next to Peeta or the look of bewilderment on Gale's face. "I missed you today."

"You did huh?" Peeta says with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. He doesn't look embarrassed in the slightest. "How much?"

"We'll, ah, see you guys at dinner," Rye says, pulling Madge away with him. "C'mon Gale, I think these two wanna be alone right now."

I slide my fingers down Peeta's arm and lock them into his as we walk to the elevator. "You looked really good out there today," I tell him as we step into the elevator.

"Oh yeah?" he says, his eyes still twinkling. He leans down to kiss me. "Just how long were you watching me?"

I thread my fingers into his tousled and sweaty curls. "Long enough to see how good you looked," I say before tugging on his neck to kiss him again. We break apart as the elevator doors open on our floor and I grab his hand, pulling him towards our compartment. "We have some time before dinner."

The door to our room has barely slid shut again before I'm wrapping my arms around him and sliding my hands down the waistband of his pants. I feel his warm hands cup my cheeks and I look up into his blue eyes. "What's gotten into you?" he says, his words sprinkled with laughter.

"You're just gorgeous," I say, pulling his shirt out of his pants and moving it up to reveal his muscled abs and chest, glistening with sweat. I plant kisses over both of his nipples, tasting the salty moisture on his skin. "And you're mine."

He gets the hint and reaches behind him to pull the shirt over his head, then leans down to kiss me, his hands roaming over my back and down over my hips as his tongue explores my mouth. I can feel my face flushing as the warmth spreads out from my chest, down my arms and legs, and through the rest of my body before concentrating right in my core.

"What do you want, Katniss," he whispers as his lips move from my mouth and trail down my jaw.

"I want you," I say huskily. This is a sort of game that we play sometimes. Peeta's trying to get me more comfortable expressing what I want from him when we're together like this. I've tried to tell him that I love what he does and how he touches me and don't need to tell him anything, but he insists on asking me. He says it turns him on to hear me tell him what I want.

"But what do you want from me, my love?" he insists, his lips now moving over my neck and throat and one hand pulling the tie out of my braid and unraveling my hair while the other slips underneath my untucked shirt to rub up and down my back. He pauses when I don't answer right away and looks at me, raising one of his eyebrows.

I swallow thickly, willing to almost say anything to get him to start moving his hands and lips over my body again. "I wa- want," I stammer. "I want you to undress me."

He smiles as he turns to press me against the wall and his hands immediately start undoing my shirt buttons. "And then?" he whispers.

"And then, I want you to take your clothes off too," I say as he slides my shirt down over my scarred arms and tosses it onto the floor. I shiver a little as my bare back hits the cold cement of the wall.

"Uh huh," he mumbles against my neck as his lips find the pulse point and start sucking gently.  His hands move up to palm my breasts, his thumbs rubbing gently over my nipples. "And then what? Are we just supposed to look at each other naked?"

I can't help the giggle that escapes from my lips. His hands have moved down to my belly and he slides the stretchy panel of my pants down over my hips. The pants slip to my ankles and he holds me steady as I step out and kick them out of the way.

"No, silly," I say, as I undo his belt and the button on his pants. He unzips them and pushes them down past his hips, letting them fall to the floor. I can see his thick erection straining against his black boxer briefs. I brush my hand lightly over the bulge and the hiss I get in response sends another shockwave right into my core. "I want you."

"I want to hear you tell me, Katniss," he growls. He moves so his thigh is between my legs and I rub against him, desperately needing friction. His forehead is pressed against mine and his beautiful eyes are looking right into me. "What do you want from me?"

I gulp, hesitating for a few seconds. "I want you to pick me up and put me on the bed. Then I want..., I want you to put your mouth on me." I can feel my cheeks reddening. I've never said anything like that out loud before, but the loud groan that escapes from Peeta's throat right before he crushes his lips to mine erases any trace of embarrassment.

"Yes, that's it," he whispers against my lips. "You have no idea how it affects me to hear you say that. And where exactly do you want me to put my mouth, my love?"

"R-right here," I say as I take his hand and put it right between my legs, over my now soaking wet panties. His fingers press against my center, sending bolts of pleasure though me and causing my head to drop back against the hard wall.

"Mmmm, you're so wet for me," he says in a breathy voice, as he cups his hands under my thighs and lifts me up to carry me over to the lofted bed. He climbs up next to me and hovers over me for a few seconds before coming down to kiss me hard on the lips. Then his mouth blazes a fiery trail down my neck to my chest as his hands slide my bra straps down my arms. I reach behind me to unhook and remove the bra, tossing it onto the floor as he closes his warm mouth over my nipple. My fingers thread into his blond hair as he swirls his tongue around the hardened peak before nipping it lightly and kissing across the valley of my chest to my other breast.

"It is unbelievable how beautiful you are," he whispers, right before he sucks my other nipple into his mouth. My back arches off the bed at the sensation and I tug on his hair, pulling his head back towards me so I can kiss him.

"Please Peeta," I beg. The skin on my entire body feels like it's burning again, only this time leaving no scars behind. "Please, I need... I need..."

"I love when you say my name like that," he says as his lips kiss down over my belly to the waistband of my underwear. His thick index fingers hook into the sides of the sodden panties and slide them down my legs. He sits back as his hands roam up the outside of my legs and back down, around my ankles and then back up on the inside. He leans down to plant open-mouth kisses all along my inner thighs before he places them over his shoulders and his warm tongue finally flicks out to touch my throbbing center.

"Ooohhh," I cry out as his talented lips and tongue move expertly over me, teasing and licking and tasting. He pauses to shush me, reminding me of the thin walls of the room as his hands move up to cup my breasts, rolling my nipples between his fingers and squeezing them gently while his tongue continues to work magic between my legs.

"What do you want, Katniss?" Peeta murmurs as I run my fingers through his thick, silky hair. His eyes are the color of sapphires as he gazes at me intently around my belly, still teasing me with his lips and tongue. "Tell me what you want."

The tone of his voice is almost as intoxicating as the feel of his tongue moving against me, and all I can do is whimper in reply. "I want you to make me come." I feel his hands tighten around my thighs. "Please Peeta, please make me come!"

"That's my girl," he whispers as I feel him drive his tongue as deep inside of me as he can before trailing it back up to flick my throbbing bundle of nerves. "You taste so damn good, Katniss."

"Peeta, you're gonna make me come," I manage to say through my whimpering as he finally wraps his lips around my pulsating nub. Another growl escapes from his throat as he pushes two fingers into me and starts pumping them gently. My hands fist tighter into his hair as the pleasure coil in my belly is wound tighter and tighter, ready to snap. He flips the fingers inside me and curls them upwards as his lips wrap around my nub, flicking it once, twice, three times with his tongue.

"Oh my God, Peeta!" I practically scream, not caring about who might hear me as the most intense climax I've ever had washes over me, leaving my legs shaky and my breath coming in pained gasps. He laps at my center until I'm completely boneless and too sensitive for him to continue. Then he gently brings my legs back together and rolls me onto my side before wiping his mouth against the back of his hand and lying down next to me. He pulls me against his chest and tilts my head up to find my lips with his. I can taste myself on his lips and tongue, mixed in with the inherent sweetness that is my husband.

"You are the most beautiful and sexy woman I could ever imagine," he whispers to me. "Thank you."

"You're thanking me?" I sputter, still not quite in control of myself after that mind-shattering orgasm. "I should be the one thanking you!"

He chuckles and smiles at me, his eyes glancing down towards the still-obvious bulge in his shorts. He brings my hand down to cup him over the fabric. "Well," he says. "I can think of a way..."

I slowly roll my upper body on top of him and start kissing his neck and throat. I can taste the sweat on him along with that taste of cinnamon and vanilla that seems to seep from his skin. "Hmmm. Tell me what you want, Peeta," I say quietly as I run my hand over his firm abs and pecs and through his downy chest hair.

"Ah, I get it," he murmurs, his breath hitching and his hands trailing up and down my bare back. "The tables have been turned, have they now?"

"Mmmhmm," I mumble, moving my lips down to his navel and slipping my fingers under the waistband of his shorts. I lift them over his rigid cock and slide them down his legs. Then I wrap one hand around his length and squeeze gently as he groans and bucks up into my hand.

"So tell me Peeta, do you want my mouth on you now, like this?" and I take as much of him into my mouth as I can without gagging, causing his entire body to shudder and a loud moan to escape from his lips. I run my lips up and down a few times before swirling around the head with my tongue and then releasing it with a soft popping noise. I look into his eyes that are nearly blackened with desire.

"We can save that for later," he says roughly. Then he grabs a hold of my hips and lifts me so I can straddle him. He sits up and wraps his arms around me, his lips trailing across my neck and throat down to my collarbone. I run my still-sensitive center up and down the length of his cock a few times and his eyes nearly roll back into his head.

"Katniss," he pants. "I need to be inside you. Right now."

I kiss him before lifting my hips and positioning his erection at my entrance. He helps hold me steady as I slowly sink down on top of him, feeling him stretching and filling me. "Fuck Katniss, you feel amazing," he growls, causing me to mewl and throw my head back. "You're so beautiful. You're so warm and so tight and so fucking sexy with my baby growing inside you."

I've only heard him curse like that a couple of times and it sends a violent shiver of pleasure up my spine. He drops back against the pillows as I lean down and brace my palms against his chest. His hands splay across my hips and lower back, helping me move on top of him while his moaning grows louder and louder and his teeth catch onto his lower lip.

"Katniss," he gasps as his eyes squeeze shut. I know he's getting close when he can't keep his eyes open anymore.

"Touch me, please," I say as his cock starts to swell even more inside me.  His right hand moves from my hip to right above where our bodies are joined together and his thumb finds that magic spot. He starts rubbing circles around it, trying to catch me up to him.

"Katniss!" he calls out, stretching the S sound into a hiss as he starts pulsing inside me and I feel the gush of warmth from his release. His jaw stiffens and his thumb circles my nub one more time as my own climax follows and I cry out his name before I collapse on top of him as best as I can without smashing the baby. His hands run up and down my back as he catches his breath before grabbing my face to kiss my lips.

"I love you so much," he says as his thumbs caress my cheekbones. "Can you drag me away from training like this more often before the baby comes?"

I feel him slide out of me as I roll off of him and tuck my head into his neck, still breathing hard. "Definitely yes. Mom says after the baby's born we'll have to wait for a few weeks before we can have sex again, so we should stock up while we can."

Peeta starts to laugh. "Even if we stock up, as you say, you know it's going to be so hard for me to keep my hands off of you," and he draws me into another kiss. "You're so beautiful now, Katniss, but you'll be even more so once you're holding our son in your arms."

My breaths have finally slowed, and I'm so relaxed right now I feel like I could fall asleep. "I'm getting to the point where I wish he'd show up sooner rather than later. My feet and back are starting to get sore by the end of the day now."

He kisses the top of my head. "Not too much longer now," he whispers just as his stomach growls, making me giggle.

"You'd better get into the shower so we can go eat," I mumble, although I'm not really wanting him to move right now.

"Mmmm, fine," he says grudgingly. The horn sounds for dinner just as he sits up on the bed. "You're lucky there isn't room enough in the shower for all of us anymore, or we might not make it to dinner."

I lean over to kiss him. "Just remember what we saved for later," I say slyly. "That should help."

We manage to make it down to dinner, ignoring the smirks and winks sent our way by Rye and instead focusing on the many different shades of red that Gale's face turns as Johanna flirts with him. Some of the lines she uses on him make me blush they're so raunchy, and the feel of Peeta's fingertips running up and down my thigh under the table doesn't do anything to help. Not surprisingly, Peeta declines Rye's invitation for a chess game after dinner and instead leads me back to our compartment.

The next day is my baby shower, held in my mother's office down in the hospital. Prim, Hazelle, Posy, Madge, and Johanna are all there. Even my old nurse, O'Connor, shows up for a while. We all eat Peeta's cheese buns and drink punch, which tastes more like carbonated fruit juice. Mom gives me a gift of a hand-knitted baby blanket. Johanna gives me a handmade sachet filled with pine needles that she made when she visited District 7 with Peeta on the Victory Tour. She said it's designed to be placed in the pail with the used diapers, to keep them from smelling before they can be washed. Prim and Posy give me a pair of knitted baby booties, and Hazelle presents me with several outfits that she sewed from some of her boys' outgrown clothing from when they fled Twelve.

"And here's one more gift, Katniss," my mother says, placing a rather large box in my hands. "It's from Commander Paylor, from District 8. She and Madge picked it out on her last trip there."

"Paylor got me a gift?" I say, shocked that someone as busy as her would think to give me a baby gift. I open the box to find an absolutely beautiful forest green length of fabric. I'm staring at it, confused, when my mother practically grabs it out of my hands with a loud gasp.

"Oh Katniss," she says as she runs her hand along the fabric. "This is a baby wrap. A real woven baby wrap, probably made in one of the luxury textile mills there in Eight."

My face must still look confused, because Mom stands up and starts to wrap the fabric around her body, demonstrating how to do it. She starts behind her, then brings it up and over her shoulders, crossing it behind her back and tying it in the front again.

"Katniss, I wish I would've had one of these when you and Prim were babies! I just used an old sheet as a wrap with you two. I can't imagine how much this cost... But anyway, here's where the baby goes when you wear it on your front," and indicates where the baby would be placed. "This is so much easier than carrying the baby in-arms, and it's very handy for getting the baby to sleep. I don't know what I would've done if I hadn't wrapped you two as babies."

Hazelle nods emphatically. "And your Momma showed me how to wrap my babies too," she says. "It was especially helpful after Posy was born and I was washing laundry all day."

I remember seeing Hazelle with a baby Posy tucked up on her back as she worked over her washboard. "That sounds nice!"

"And Peeta can use it too," Mom says. "It's long enough for people of all sizes to use."

I nod, a little overwhelmed at all the attention and gifts. "Thank you," I mumble. I turn to Madge. "Please tell Commander Paylor thank you for me, the next time you speak with her." Then I stuff another cheese bun into my mouth and listen as Mom and Hazelle exchange birth stories for the next hour. I learn more about contractions and birthing positions and breastfeeding than I ever care to hear about again, but notice that Madge and Johanna are listening attentively to my mother's every word.

"Your mom is so knowledgeable about this stuff," Madge says to me as we walk back to the residential sections, with her helping me to carry my gifts. "My mom was always sick so she never talked about this kind of stuff with me."

"And I've heard more about this stuff than I ever wanted," I reply. "I can't count how many babies were born in our little house in the Seam."

"That should help you though," Madge says. "You'll know what to expect better than most of us." She sighs then, like she's sad about something.

We reach my compartment to find Peeta sitting on the couch, drawing. It reminds me that I need to remember to ask Rye for some more paper for him. Peeta stands up to greet us, kissing me on the forehead. "How were the cheese buns?"

"Extremely yummy," I say. Madge hands Peeta the box with the wrap and says that she'll see us later. "And look at what everyone gave us!"

I show him all the gifts and demonstrate how to use the baby wrap. I find once I have it wrapped around my belly that my back seems more supported, so I leave it on until it's time to head down for dinner.

We make love again after dinner, this time more bittersweet since Peeta's leaving in the morning for District 4. Afterwards, as we lie together with his palm stretched out over my stomach, our son starts kicking again. I feel tears spring to my eyes as I realize that the war really won't be over in the next two months. That our baby will have to be born here, in Thirteen. I turn my head and cry into Peeta's chest as he trails his fingertips along my neck and shoulder. His fingers have lost most of the callouses that he's always had from baking. My fingers have lost some of theirs too, since I haven't hunted properly in who knows how long. I wonder right now if I'd even be able to shoot a moving target accurately anymore.

"Peeta," I whisper. "I want to go home. I'm so tired of this place."

I feel his lips on my temple. "I know. I do too. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy around here with so much grey everywhere. And I don't even know if I'd remember how to hold a paintbrush anymore." He rolls onto his side to look at me. "But we won't be here forever, try to remember that. It won't be too much longer and we can go home. Maybe even by your birthday."

I smile through my tears. My birthday is the eighth of May, and this year I'll turn eighteen. In Twelve, May is finally when the weather stays consistently warm, and the animals are out in the forest, and the flowers and trees are blooming. I snuggle further into Peeta and kiss his neck. "That sounds so good."

"And I'll make you the biggest birthday cake you've ever seen, in our new bakery," he whispers. "It'll be covered in dandelions."

I feel my mouth watering at the thought. "That sounds so yummy I can almost taste it now." Then the smile drops from my face as I look into his eyes. "Just promise me you'll be extra careful on this trip, okay? Four is a Career district, and even with Finnick there too, I'm still going to worry about you."

He leans in to kiss me. "I promise."

We fall asleep wrapped in each other's arms, and I'm up with him early the next morning, waddling down to the hangar to kiss him goodbye as he leaves with Finnick, Gale, and Boggs. Annie is there too, crying against Finnick's chest, and while it comforts me a little to know that I'm not alone in my misery, I know I won't be getting much rest until Peeta's back here with me. I never sleep well alone; the nightmares always come back.

Hopefully not too much longer, and I won't ever have to sleep alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wrapping technique that Mrs. Everdeen demonstrated is called a Front Cross Carry, which is a great carry for newborns.
> 
> It's my head canon that they would've used cloth diapers in District 13, in keeping with their tendencies to reuse as much as possible. I specifically think they would've used flat diapers, which are basically big squares of cloth that you fold in different ways to fit the baby. Flats are very easy to clean (they can even be handwashed), and don't wear out easily. They are also very inexpensive and can be easily repurposed once they're no longer needed as diapers.


	16. District 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit of a beast. I apologize for that. I couldn't figure out how to shorten it or split it and still keep with the alternating POVs. Hopefully it doesn't disappoint! :)

PPOV

It gets more and more difficult to leave Katniss the more pregnant she gets. She's to the point now where she's having trouble walking normally by the end of the day. And just recently when I was rubbing her belly I felt it tighten suddenly. It scared me until Katniss explained that it was just a practice contraction. Her mom said that they were more common later in pregnancy, and were her body's way of gearing up for the birth.

District 4 is as beautiful as I remember it being, with the white-sand beaches and the bright colors of the trees and buildings. At least what is left of them. My eyes, having been so starved for color while in Thirteen, welcome the influx of color greedily, and I find myself wishing I had a sketchbook and pencil. The air smells like saltwater, and for a moment I have a nice mental picture of bringing my son here in a few years and holding his hand as we walk towards the water.

Gale's eyes nearly bug out of his head when we arrive at the first house we're to stay at and Finnick immediately strips his clothes off and runs into the ocean for a swim. I guess he missed this place too.

Each day we do what we can to help. We visit the wounded. We tape short propos with Cressida and Castor, imploring those people who haven't yet joined our cause to do so. Finnick reiterates his stories about how he was treated in the Capitol. Gale and Boggs act as our bodyguards, but they end up answering as many questions and talking to as many people as we do, since they're much more well-versed in the military aspects than us Victors are.

It's pretty much the same here as in all the other districts I've visited: the outer areas are in rebel hands, with the remaining loyal citizens and Peacekeepers congregated closer to the Justice Building. We start at the outskirts and work our way in. It's a slow but effective process. Commander Paylor from District 8 has taken the unofficial role as military commander for all of the unified districts, and we have regular meetings with her using a device called a Holo. We meet with Rye and Madge as well, keeping them in the loop so we're not trying to duplicate efforts. I'm even able to talk to Katniss a few times, which is wonderful while we're talking but almost worse afterwards because I can't physically touch her. My body craves the feel of her skin like Haymitch craves his alcohol.

Finnick teaches me how to collect shellfish and spear fish with his trident for our meals. We share a lot of our catches with the other rebel soldiers in our nightly camps. For security purposes we are moved pretty much every night, and our locations are kept as secret as possible.

Tonight we're sleeping in small tents along part of the shoreline, behind the burned-out hull of what used to be a shrimp factory, with six military rebels stationed around us for security. Every night I pull a picture that I drew of Katniss out of my cargo pocket and stare at it until I feel my eyelids drooping. The sky here is so clear that the moonlight reflecting off the water acts as sort of a spotlight. She's naked in the drawing, lying on her side, her left hand resting on her pregnant belly with her wedding ring glinting in the light. She's smiling, that special smile that she saves only for me. Her thick braid is coiled around her neck like a delicate ribbon, and her eyes are shining, as much as I can draw them that way with the limited supplies that I have.

"Hey Peeta," Gale's voice says suddenly as he crawls into the tent that we're sharing. His gaze lands on my drawing and his eyes widen for a second before I'm able to hastily fold it back up.

"Sorry," I mumble. "But that's for my eyes only."

A flash of hurt races across his face, only for a fraction of a second before he clears his throat. "Yeah," he says awkwardly. "I should've said something before just barging in like that."

"Everyone else asleep?" I ask as I lay down on the balled-up jacket I'm using as a pillow.

"Yeah," Gale says. "Finnick decided it was too hot in the tent, so he's out on the sand, sleeping on top of a bunch of dried seaweed. And Boggs is snoring, so he's out."

I chuckle. Boggs snores even louder than Rye does, so I'm not surprised that Finnick bolted out of there. "Gotcha," I say. I turn onto my side, trying to get comfortable. I never take my prosthesis off when we're on these trips, as we never know when we'd have to make a quick exit, so my leg is hurting. I also forgot to pack my pain cream this time. Katniss will be mad at me when I get back. I close my eyes, bringing the image from my drawing into my mind and studying it. I try to imagine my hands running over her naked body, with all her curves and dips, feeling the softness of her skin. I inhale and exhale shakily, trying to stay as quiet as possible so Gale doesn't hear me. His hunter's ears don't miss much.

The nights that I'm gone are always the hardest times. I don't sleep well at all away from Katniss, and more than once Gale's had to shake me awake from a nightmare. As embarrassing as that is, at least he's had the decency to not mention it again the next day. The nightmares get worse the longer I'm away though, which makes me afraid to even fall asleep after a while.

"Not too much longer," I whisper to myself. This trip to Four has gone very well. Cressida is very happy with the footage we've been getting, and Boggs thinks it'll only be a few more days before the rest of the stubborn Peacekeepers surrender. Then the only places left will be Districts 1 and 2, with Two being the last. I'm going to insist that we save District 2 for after the baby's born, as there is absolutely no way in hell I'm going to be in some other district when my son arrives.

The next day is much of the same. Finnick and I give a few speeches to the people, Gale and Boggs meet with the military leaders, and we advance some more towards the Justice Building. Over thirty Peacekeepers surrender after our last speech, with Castor filming the entire thing. They'll be transported back to Thirteen now for rehabilitation and training, before being absorbed into the army being prepared to invade the Capitol, or rotated back out to help patrol a different district. It was decided before this Tour started that any of the Peacekeepers who joined up with us wouldn't be expected to work again in their former districts, both for their own safety and for the safety of the other people, just in case any of them were to change their minds.

We're staying in an industrial sort of building tonight that smells strongly of fish, only about twenty minutes from the Justice Building. After securing our area, Finnick and Boggs fall asleep right away. Gale and I talk for a little while. He's still amazed at how different the other districts are from Twelve, so I tell him a little about what they looked like when Katniss and I were on our Victory Tour, before they'd become ravaged by war. Gale admits though that he's just as eager to be done here as I am, as he's just not a big fan of the ocean. Or sand. Or seafood.

My leg is aching as I try to settle in to sleep, and every few minutes I can hear gunshots from across the way as the last remaining loyalists try to hold off the rebels. There'll be more dead bodies to help dispose of tomorrow. I look out the window near me, almost expecting to see pictures of the dead projected into the sky, like they were in the arena.

  _I jerk awake suddenly, still wrapped in the sleeping bag. I'm shivering, but not nearly as bad as I was when I fell asleep, and my mangled leg isn't throbbing as badly either. I look around for Katniss and breathe a quick sigh of relief when I see her sleeping a couple feet away from me. I rub my eyes, noticing that my left upper arm is sore, like it's been jabbed with something sharp. As my eyes adjust better to the darkness, I see that Katniss is sleeping at an odd angle, and there appears to be a puddle of water by her head. I crawl out of the sleeping bag to take a closer look and notice a large, open gash across her forehead. I gasp in shock as I realize that she's not lying in a puddle of water, she's lying in a pool of her own blood._

_I shake her shoulder slightly. "Katniss," I whisper, trying to stay quiet, in case any of the other remaining tributes are nearby. But she doesn't respond so I shake her a little rougher, and say her name a little louder. Still nothing._

_Frantic now, I roll her over to try and see if she's still breathing. I can't tell if her chest is rising or not in the darkness, so I put my ear right up against her mouth, desperately hoping that I'll be able to hear her breaths. I hear nothing but silence. My heart sinks down into my feet as an anguished scream rips from my throat._

_"No, no, no, please don't leave me!" I cry, no longer caring if I'm overheard or not. What's the point of my survival now if Katniss is dead? "Katniss, please wake up. Please wake up! Don't leave me here alone! I told you not to go to the feast, I told you not to risk your life for me! I told you, I told you..."_

 "Hey Peeta, wake up." The voice is just on the edge of my consciousness.

"Leave me alone!" I scream. "Katniss is dead, leave me alone!"

"Peeta!" I hear again, and this time a rough pair of hands shakes my shoulders. "Peeta, wake up, you're dreaming!"

I rip my eyes open to see Gale staring down at me and I jump back in surprise. "What the hell are you doing here?" I demand. "Where's Katniss?"

Gale raises his hands. "Calm down buddy, Katniss is back in District 13. I'm sure she's fine. You were just having a nightmare."

I look frantically around, trying to get my bearings. I'm not back in the cave in the arena. I'm still in Four, and the sun is rising. I sit up, raking my hand though my hair as I gulp in air, trying to compose myself. "Sorry 'bout that," I mumble to Gale.

Gale shrugs his shoulders, but his eyes are narrowed and staring at me. "Don't mention it," he says. He jerks his head towards a door on the other side of the room. "Toilet's that way, if you need it."

I nod my thanks and get heavily to my feet. It's not every day that we get to use a working toilet. There's even a relatively clean sink with running water, and I splash some on my face and drink several handfuls before returning to get my pack put back together.

Finnick collects more shellfish for us to eat for breakfast, and after eating our fill and refilling our water canteens, we meet back up with Cressida and Castor and head out towards the Justice Building, where there's been an apparent showdown throughout the night with the last loyalist holdouts. As we approach slowly from one side, my heart skips a beat as I see two Peacekeepers, both without their helmets, standing about ten feet away from five rebel soldiers, all with their guns pointed at each other. Several bodies lay strewn about the area, both rebel and Peacekeeper.

Boggs must sense my trepidation, because I feel his hand on my shoulder. "You stay back with Finnick, Peeta," he says. "Let Gale and I handle this."

I shake my head vigorously. "No, these people were shooting at each other all night!" I whisper. "How many more have to die? Maybe if I could talk to them-"

"That's out of the question," Boggs says. "The time for diplomacy here is over." And he pushes me behind him as he aims his rifle at the Peacekeeper closest to us, motioning for Gale to take up the flanking position.

"Drop your weapons," Boggs calls out to the Peacekeepers. "You're outnumbered. You've lost. No one else needs to die here today." He holds his hand up in the direction of the rebels, who nod and stand their weapons down. Finnick moves up next to me.

"This should be interesting," he says casually. But his hand holding his trident is trembling a bit and I can see him glancing around, like he's nervous.

The two Peacekeepers look at Gale and Boggs and then over at Finnick and me. With a nod of their heads, both of them aim their weapons directly at us. I don't have any time to react before a shot rings out and Finnick collapses on the ground next to me, moaning in anguish. A split second later the Peacekeeper who fired the shot is on the ground with an arrow between his shoulder blades.

"Stop!" I yell. "Hold your fire!" My words echo around the square as I drop to the ground to inspect Finnick's upper arm. I can see that he's bleeding but otherwise it doesn't look too badly damaged. The remaining Peacekeeper now has his rifle aimed at me, with Boggs and Gale pointing their weapons at the back of his head.

"Drop your weapon!" Boggs screams. Nobody moves. "I said drop it!"

I look up into the eyes of the Peacekeeper and notice that his rifle is trembling. He looks scared. I drop my bow onto the ground and hold up my hands, praying that he can't tell how badly they're shaking.

"Why do you want to kill us?" I ask him. "Finnick and I aren't here to hurt you. We want to help you. We want you to be free, just like we want to be free. I don't want to be a Capitol slave anymore."

The Peacekeeper grunts. "I'm not a slave. I'm just a man who was desperate to save the girl I loved. She was sick and needed medicine, but it was too expensive for her family to afford. I was barely out of school and earning hardly nothing in Two's granite mines. So I agreed to become a Peacekeeper. That way, I could afford to pay for her medicine." His rifle is shaking more violently now, and he clears his throat with some difficulty. "But that meant I had to leave her. That I couldn't marry her. So in order to save her, I had to give her up. And after I'd gone away, I found out she was pregnant with my child. But I couldn't go back to her then and marry her, because I was a Peacekeeper, and Peacekeepers aren't allowed to have families!!"

He presses the point of his rifle harder into my temple. "But, do you want to know the worst part of all of it? Since she was pregnant, they didn't give her the medicine she needed. So she died! She died, and I couldn't do anything about it! So tell me right now, Victor, exactly why I shouldn't kill you. What good is my life now anyway?"

I swallow hard, glancing down at Finnick who's moaning in pain, clutching his bleeding arm with his other hand. He nods at me.

"You know," I say to the Peacekeeper. "Finnick tried to save the woman he loves, too. He tried to hide her from the Capitol so she wouldn't be punished like he was. He didn't want what was happening to him to happen to her. Being a Victor isn't riches and glory. Not for most of us. For most of us it's just another form of slavery. And we're just regular people, like you, who want to live and love and be free. But I had to listen to President Snow threaten to sell my wife to the highest bidder. I had to watch her be taken from me and put in another arena. I had to watch her fight for her life on television. I thought I watched her burn to death. Finnick had to watch his love deteriorate on television, and he couldn't do anything about it. And each time he saw her, he was scared he'd never see her again. But that's what the Capitol wants! That's what Snow wants! He wants to control everything and everyone through fear. And I'm sick and tired of being afraid! I'm tired of living in fear!"

Then I look him straight in the eye and slowly get to my feet. "I'm done being afraid. So if you're going to shoot me, then go ahead. I just hope you can live with yourself when you realize that you're playing right into Snow's hands. That if you kill me, you'd be doing exactly what he wants. But if you choose to come with us, you can tell President Snow that you're no longer a slave to fear. That we're no longer slaves to fear."

I'm not sure how long we stand there staring at each other. It seems like an eternity, but finally the Peacekeeper backs his rifle away and holds it out. Gale grabs it immediately, slapping a pair of handcuffs onto his wrists as Boggs kneels down next to Finnick to examine his wound.

"It's just a through and though," Boggs says as he applies a field dressing to stop the bleeding. "Nothing too serious."

"It still freaking hurts though!" Finnick moans. "Damn it hurts!"

Now that the standoff is over I find myself shaking almost uncontrollably, made worse by the pain in my leg. I'm able to walk over to the steps of the Justice Building where I sit down with my head between my knees, trying to take deep breaths and rubbing the spot where the Peacekeeper's rifle dug into my temple. I don't want to think about how close I actually came to getting killed today. How close I came to never seeing Katniss again. To never meeting my son.

Cressida comes over and sits down next to me after a few minutes. She offers me a sip of water, which I take gratefully.

"That was very brave, Peeta," she says. "What you did over there was very brave."

I take another drink from the water canteen and nod, scrubbing my face with my hand. "Please don't show any of that footage before we get back," I tell her. "I don't want Katniss to see it without me there with her. I'm afraid it would upset her too much."

Cressida sighs. "I was going to edit it here before we left and transmit it then, but I suppose I can wait until we get back, if that's what you really want. But it is incredible footage, and I want everyone to see it as soon as possible. Especially the people in One and Two."

I shake my head frantically. "Please wait till we get back. I don't want Katniss to worry about me any more than she already does."

Boggs comes over to us then, helping Finnick sit down on the steps. Finnick's arm is bandaged and his face is pale, but he looks okay otherwise. Then Boggs gets right into my face, his expression furious. "Don't you ever do anything like that again, is that understood? Right now you are much more valuable to us alive than as a martyr."

My face flushes in anger, but I bite back my angry retort and nod. "Fine."

Boggs' face softens a little. "All right. We'll be heading out tomorrow since everything's settled here. 0800, which should put us back in Thirteen around 1100."

"Sounds good," I say quietly.

He stands up and gestures over to Gale, who's talking on the Holo transmitter to my brother. "Go talk to your wife for a few minutes. I'm sure she's eager to hear from you."

I get to my feet as fast as I can and walk over to Gale. He's finalizing details with Rye on reinforcements and patrols and then hands the transmitter to me as Katniss's face appears on the screen.

"Hey," she says.

I touch the screen with my finger, pretending that I'm touching her cheek instead. "Hey. I miss you."

Katniss nods her head. There's something off about her expression, but the screen's too small for me to pinpoint it. "I miss you too. Rye says you'll be coming back tomorrow?"

"Yeah, and I can't wait. Are you okay? You seem like you're in pain or something."

She shakes her head quickly. "No, I'm okay. Just big, as usual," she says. Then her grey eyes narrow a little. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say with what I'm sure sounds like false enthusiasm. "My leg is a little sore, but that's nothing new. I can't wait to see you tomorrow, love. I'm ready to come back."

Boggs taps my shoulder then. "Need to wrap it up, we have a few more things to go over before we leave in the morning."

"All right," I say to him before turning my attention back to the screen. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay? I'll just come to our room as soon as we get back."

Katniss nods her head. "Okay. Be safe, and I love you."

"I love you too," I say before the screen goes blank. I squeeze my eyes shut against the tears that threaten to fall. I can make it one more night. Only one more night.

The rest of the day is spent in various meetings with the rebel leaders, with Commander Paylor listening in via the Holo. Then Gale helps me spear some more fish, which he insists on cooking over a fire instead of eating raw, and we spend the night in the Justice Building before boarding our hovercraft at 0800 sharp the next morning.

The ride back to Thirteen is uneventful, with Boggs speaking to someone over his radio and Cressida and Castor discussing the various propos they've already put together from our time in Four. Gale and Finnick both sleep for most of the trip, but I'm too anxious to rest, worrying about how Katniss will react once she sees the footage of the standoff. We're all supposed to meet in Command later today with Coin and Plutarch to plan the next move.

"Peeta!" I hear as soon as I step off the hovercraft, and before I can even respond Katniss has thrown herself at me. I'm barely able to catch her with my bow and pack in my hands and my sore leg, but she doesn't seem to notice. She wraps her arms around my neck as I inhale the scent of her hair, feeling my tense body relax as it washes over me.

"I'm back," I whisper. "I'm back now." Then I pull back to look at her. "And what are you doing, walking all the way down here? You know you didn't have to. I said I'd meet you in our room."

Katniss wraps her arms around my neck again. "Beetee told us you guys were back, and I couldn't wait to see you," she says, her voice muffled against my shoulder. "I just couldn't wait." Then she pulls back to look closer at me. "You're sunburned."

So that's why my face and neck feel hot. "I guess I wasn't used to the sun down there," I say sheepishly. I kiss her forehead before setting her down carefully. I can see the dark circles under her eyes, most likely mirrored on my own face. "Did you get any sleep while I was gone?"

"Not really," she says as she takes the bow from my hand and links her fingers with mine. "You know I don't sleep well without you." She's not trying to make me feel guilty, she's just stating a fact, but I can't help the flashes of guilt that flood my body even so. She also notices right away that I'm limping.

"You forgot your pain cream," she says. Again, there's no accusation in her voice, just stating a fact.

"Yeah, I did."

"I'll massage your leg after you take a shower," she says as we arrive at the elevator after a quick stop in Special Defense to drop off my bow and arrows. She leans against my arm as we ride the elevator up to our residential floor.

"My leg can wait until tonight," I say as I drop my pack onto the couch and wrap my arms around her. "I think I'd just like to take a nap with you once I shower, if that's okay."

"If you're sure," she says, nodding her head. There's still something not right about the way she's acting. "I'll unpack your stuff while you shower."

I lean down to kiss her. "Thank you."

The shower feels luxurious, even if it's not hot or long enough for me right now, and when I come out of the bathroom Katniss has unpacked my bag, swapped out my laundry, and is lying down on the bed waiting for me. I crawl up there and she cuddles up to me, pulling the blankets over us. We lie there in silence for a couple minutes before I realize that her body isn't relaxing against me like she usually does.

"What is wrong, love. I can tell you're upset about something, please don't try and hide it from me."

She pulls away to prop herself up on her elbow and narrows her eyes. "I'm not hiding anything from you," she says. "But you are."

I feel a swoop in my stomach as my heart sinks. "What do you mean?"

She scowls furiously then and sits up. "You know exactly what I mean, Peeta! You were almost killed yesterday! Rye told me what happened! That Peacekeeper had a gun to your head! You don't think that kept me awake all night last night? But I really want to know why you didn't say anything to me. I talked to you right after it happened and you didn't say a word! You lied to me! You said you were fine, but I know you! I knew you weren't fine, but you lied to me so I couldn't help you!"

Tears of shame spring to my eyes. "Katniss," I say quietly, but she cuts me off.

"Don't 'Katniss' me," she snaps. "Just tell me why! I need to know why you felt like you had to lie to me."

"I didn't lie!" I yell, startling both of us. I lower my voice a little. "I just left that part out. For some reason it didn't even occur to me that Gale would tell Rye what happened, and I didn't want you to worry about me. And I'm okay, so it doesn't really matter now, does it?"

Katniss turns away, folding her arms over her round belly. "It matters to me, Peeta. Everything you do matters to me. And I worry about you whether you want me to or not, so you can't change that."

I tentatively place my hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry love," I mumble. "But I knew it would upset you, and I wanted to be here with you when you found out. To show you that I was okay."

She shakes her head and is quiet for a minute. "How was it, watching me in the Quell?"

I feel that swoop in my stomach again and gulp, shaking my head. "It w-, it was horrible. Absolutely horrible. I don't have the words to describe how awful it was. I've told you that."

She nods. "But you could see me, right? You could watch me the whole time, so you knew what was going on."

I can't help but pull her close to me, settling her head against my chest. "Yeah," I whisper. "I stayed up all night watching you sleep after you guys fought off the mutt monkeys. I couldn't eat or sleep. I just had to watch you every second."

Tears stream down my face as she wraps her arms around me. "But you could watch me," she repeats. "So you knew I was okay."

"Yeah."

"Mmmhmm," she mumbles. "Now think of how much more horrible it would've been if you hadn't been able to watch me the whole time. If you only had the secondhand reports from, say Haymitch, to let you know what was going on with me."

I try to imagine it and quickly squeeze my eyes shut against the thought. For as awful as it was having to watch my wife go through that arena, I can't comprehend how much worse it would've been if I hadn't been able to constantly see her.

"Katniss... I don't know what to say, other than I'm sorry."

I can feel her tears wetting my shirt. "Just don't ever do that again," she sobs. "To have to hear from your brother that you're still alive is bad enough, but for you to hide things from me is so much worse. I can handle it, Peeta. I just need to know what's going on with you as much as possible when you're gone. The not knowing is the worst part of you being away from me. Okay?"

"Okay," I say, lying us back down against the pillows. This time she curls right into me, as much as her round stomach allows, and it's only a few minutes before we're both asleep.

Boggs knocks on our door a couple hours later for our meeting in Command. Coin and Plutarch are both pleased with the footage that we took from Four, and it's decided that Rye and I will leave for District 1 in one week. After that, we'll have a little break to regroup and plan for District 2. And the birth of our baby. Katniss has only a few weeks left.

We go down to the hospital to see Finnick after dinner. Annie's sitting there with him, looking like she's been crying, but she jumps up and hugs me when we walk into the room.

"Thank you so much Peeta, for what you did," she sobs against my shoulder. I pat her back awkwardly as Katniss looks on, a look of mild amusement on her face.

"Of course," I say to Annie as she lets go of me. "Finnick would've done the same for me, if he'd needed to."

Finnick pushes himself up on his bed, his injured arm in a sling. "Hey Peeta, we were wondering," he says, smiling as he reaches for Annie's hand. "Annie's just agreed to marry me, and we would both love it if you'd bake us a cake. A wedding cake."

I blink. They're both staring at me with stupid grins on their faces, and I can't help the grin that splits my face. "Oh, I'd be very happy to do that for you!" I exclaim. "Congratulations! So when is the wedding?"

Finnick's smile grows wider. "The docs say I need to wear this thing for a couple weeks," and he indicates the sling. "But as soon as I have both my arms back we want to hold the wedding. After all this time I'm not waiting any longer than I have to."

I can completely understand. "That sounds great," I say. "I'll start on some preliminary designs tomorrow and show them to you both once I'm done. Okay?"

Finnick looks over at his love, his green eyes sparkling. "Just talk to Annie. Whatever she wants is fine with me. I don't really care what it looks like."

We spend another half hour or so talking with them, asking about favorite colors and such to help me with ideas for their cake. Then we bid them both goodnight and head back to our compartment, where Katniss heads right for the bed, shedding her clothes in a trail behind her for me to follow.

I always wake up in the morning hard, usually pressed right up against Katniss's backside. This morning is no exception, and as I run my hand over her belly I feel myself getting harder and harder until I'm clenching my teeth. We're both naked, having never put any pajamas on last night after making love. I press lightly against her back, trying to soothe the pressure a little but at the same time trying not to wake her up. But a few seconds later I feel her stir and still my movements. She breathes in and her small hand moves to cover my larger one, still resting on her belly.

"Good morning," she whispers. I feel her grind against my erection, causing me to hiss.

"Good morning beautiful," I whisper back, kissing her cheek. She grinds into me again and I let out a desperate groan. "Katniss..."

"Please don't stop," she says. "I like it."

I start planting slow kisses along her shoulders and the back of her neck as I continue thrusting against her, a little more firmly now, and she moves my hand from her stomach to her breast. "Don't stop," she repeats. "That feels good."

I gently squeeze her breast before running my fingers over her already hardened nipple. She exhales shakily as my lips move along her shoulder and neck. I feel her hand move between our bodies and wrap around my erection, causing me to moan as I thrust into her hand.

"You're so hard this morning, Peeta," she says seductively. "Do you want me?"

"Oh fuck yes," I rasp, and her hand squeezes a little harder around my cock. I trail my hand down over her front and under her belly, reaching her core. I run my fingers through her slick folds and she shudders at my touch. "Hmm. You're ready for me already, my love?"

She turns her head to meet my lips with hers, her tongue reaching into my mouth as my fingers continue to massage her wet center. She gasps when I slip a finger inside her, breaking our kiss. "Peeta," she says between pants. "I need-, I need you, please." She starts to roll herself to face me and my arm stiffens around her, holding her in place.

"No, just stay there," I say, leaning in for another kiss. I tease her tongue with my own as I lift her leg and position it over mine, shifting so my throbbing cock rests between her thighs. I rub against her a few times, lubricating myself with her arousal before carefully positioning my tip at her entrance and pushing in slowly. We've never had sex in this position before and I want to make sure I'm not hurting her.

"Are you okay, love?" I feel her clench hard around me and I groan as I pull slowly out of her before thrusting back in.

"Oh yes Peeta," she whispers. She clenches around me again and I almost come right then and there. "Don't stop."

"You're so tight like this, even more than usual," I growl. "I'm not gonna last very long."

Katniss drops her head back against my shoulder, exposing her neck to me, and my teeth nip at her tender skin as I slide in and out of her. My hand rests above her stomach, and she interlaces our fingers together as my movements get faster and harder.

"Oh my God, Peeta," she gasps, squeezing my fingers interlocked with hers as she squeezes my cock with her slick walls. "P-, Peeta, I'm so close, oohh, please don't stop!"

"That's it, my love. Come for me," I whisper into her ear. "I need you to come, I can't last-" and I'm cut off by the overwhelming sensation of her clamping down hard around me as her orgasm rips though her. Her back arches and her head presses against my shoulder as her breath comes in short gasps, followed by my name as she exhales. I'm only able to thrust back inside of her one more time before my own release follows and I loudly cry out.

We lie that way for several minutes afterwards, our chests rising and falling in unison as we catch our breath. I finally pull out of her and roll her onto her back, capturing her lips with mine as soon as I can find them. I don't know how I'm going to be able to go without making love to her for several weeks once the baby comes.

She starts to giggle against my mouth, causing me to break our kiss and look at her. "What's funny?"

"The baby's tickling me," she says. "I think he's wondering what in the world just happened."

I can't help but laugh, but my face grows more serious as her swirling silver eyes meet my own. I cup her cheek with my hand and feel tears pool in my eyes. "I love you. You know that, right?"

Instantly her expression grows concerned and her hands move up to my face, rubbing my cheekbones. "Of course I do," she says. "How could I not, when you tell me and show me every single day?"

I can only nod as my hand moves to run along her belly, feeling our baby's movements. "I love our son too, Katniss. You know that, don't you?"

She pulls my face close to kiss my lips. "Yes, I know that," she whispers. Then she looks me straight in the eye. "You, Peeta Mellark, are not your mother. And neither am I. Our son will always know that he is loved by both of his parents. And you're going to be a wonderful daddy to him, and to any other children that we have someday. Of that, I have absolutely no doubt."

I can feel my lip quivering as her fingertips ghost over my cheeks. I don't want to say what I'm thinking, but we agreed just yesterday that I wouldn't hide things from her. "I may not be my mother, but I-, I am my mother's son. So... if you ever think... or see...". I pause, trying to look away but her small hands hold me in place.

"Tell me, please."

I sit up on the bed, helping her up so she's facing me. She takes my hand and holds it between both of hers. I run my other hand through my hair.

"I know I could never hit my child. I remember too well what that was like to ever want to put my child through anything like that." I run my fingers through my hair again, trying to concentrate on Katniss's thumb rubbing circles on my other hand.

"But I do have a temper, as you know. And I don't want... it would kill me to think that you, or he, could ever be scared of me. So you have to promise me, if I ever do anything that you think-"

I'm cut off with Katniss's fingers covering my lips. "Shhh," she says. "I can't imagine you ever being mad enough for me to be scared of you." She leans forward to brush my lips with hers. "And even my parents got mad every now and then. At each other and at me and Prim. It's not normal to never get angry, Peeta. I know I've done things that've made you angry, and you've done things that've made me angry. It's how you react to that anger that's the difference. You're not your mother. You won't be like your mother. I've never had any reason to think that you ever will be."

I can't speak, so I just stare at her until she leans forward to kiss me again. Her fingers thread into my hair as she sighs into my mouth. "Peeta," she whispers. "I don't want to get up yet."

I reach around her to lift her into my lap, where I'm already half hard. "Are you sure?" I ask, running my hand across her belly. "I think we rocked his little world last time."

She laughs, that musical laugh that gives me goosebumps, and slyly grinds into me. "Then," she says, pausing to kiss me. "Let's do it again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be toastbaby time! ❤
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd drop me a comment!


	17. Weddings and Babies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will contain a descriptive account of a midwife- and partner-assisted unmedicated childbirth. It's not graphic, but it is descriptive. ;)

KPOV

District 1 only takes a few days to fall. Once the footage of Peeta talking down the Peacekeeper in Four is shown, shown again, and re-shown until practically everyone knows it by heart, there really isn't much left for District 1 to do but give control completely over to the rebels. Peeta's only gone for five days there, and he hardly even has to give any speeches, or even talk much at all. The loyalists pretty much just see him and surrender.

Once Peeta gets back he throws himself into designing and prepping Annie and Finnick's wedding cake. Their wedding marks the first real conflict that I've seen develop between Plutarch and President Coin, as their views on what constitutes a wedding are in sharp contrast with each other. Apparently in Thirteen a wedding is simply the bride and groom signing a marriage license and being assigned a new living compartment, whereas in the Capitol it can mean a three-day celebration with hundreds of people dressed in their most expensive clothes.

Plutarch finally gets Coin to budge a little on the details when he complains that no one will want to watch a propo with the bride and groom dressed in the usual Thirteen grey and just signing a piece of paper. "What's the point of the propo if no one is having any fun?" he asks in frustration.

Coin relents, allowing some decorations and music but vetoing an elaborate meal. At my suggestion, Peeta and Prim volunteer to take Annie back to Twelve to pick out a dress, since Cinna left so many beautiful dresses for me after my first Games that I never bothered to move from my old house. Prim helps her choose a delicate green silk dress that compliments her auburn hair beautifully, and Peeta even braves the rickety stairs in our destroyed Victor home to grab one of his Victory Tour suits for Finnick to wear.

Despite all the reservations and issues, the wedding turns out to be a smash hit. Finnick and Annie are absolutely breathtaking. You can see their happiness radiating from their faces as a choir of children sings the traditional District 4 wedding song, accompanied by the lone fiddler from Twelve who escaped with his instrument.

After the groom kisses his bride and we toast them with apple cider, the fiddler launches into an old tune commonly played during our annual Harvest Festival back in Twelve. Almost immediately every refugee from Twelve starts tapping their feet to the beat, and it's only a minute or so before the people form two long lines and start to dance. Gale is grabbed by Greasy Sae, Rory and Prim take their places next to Hazelle and Vick, and Rye and Madge even join the line as Posy tugs on Haymitch's hand, trying to get him to join in as well.

Peeta finds me in the crowd, watching from the sidelines with Johanna and clapping my hands. His pale face is flushed pink and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows as he tells me that he's just placed the finishing touches on the wedding cake. He almost looks more nervous about this cake than he did before he revealed ours.

"What are you so nervous about?" I ask him, trying to sound playful. He wraps his arms around me, his chest against my back, and I feel him relax a little.

"It's been so long since I've done anything like this," he says. He kisses the top of my head. "I feel so out of practice, and I just want it to be perfect for them."

As if on cue, there's a break in the music as four people wheel out the huge wedding cake from a side room. Most of the guests back up, making way for this breathtaking, four-tiered creation. Peeta has created a beach scene, with blue-green, white-tipped icing waves swimming with fish, seagulls flying overhead, and a bright yellow sun reflecting on the water. A man and woman sit on the sand facing the water, the man's arm around the woman's waist and her auburn head leaning against his shoulder. You would've thought Peeta had grown up in District 4 it's so perfect. And for how beautiful it is, it tastes even better, once Plutarch has it filmed from every direction and allows Finnick and Annie to actually cut and serve it.

"See?" I say to Peeta as I polish off my piece. "The cake was a huge hit!" Finnick and Annie even receive permission to have the topmost tier stored for them for their one-month anniversary, and Plutarch comes over to congratulate Peeta personally for his contribution to the wedding.

"The Capitol will love this," he says, wearing his ever-present smirk. "I can't wait to cut this propo together. Maybe once all this is over you can start some sort of mail-order wedding cake business, eh Peeta? I know there's people in the Capitol who would pay handsomely for one of your unique creations!"

Peeta and I stare at him for a second before shaking our heads simultaneously. "No thank you," Peeta says firmly. "Katniss and I have decided that we're returning to Twelve after the war is over."

"Ah," Plutarch says, his face faltering for a few seconds. "Well then, let me know if you change your mind." Then he turns on his heel and walks away, making a beeline for the newlyweds who are circulating to say their goodbyes.

"Don't count on it," Peeta mumbles under his breath.

We're sitting on the couch in our compartment two days later during the Reflection time before dinner. Peeta's rubbing my feet while I run my hands up and down over my huge belly, feeling it tighten every few minutes.

"Still having those practice contractions?" Peeta asks, his thumbs moving so expertly over the soles of my sore feet that I don't register his question right away. It's only after his hands stop moving that I realize I'm supposed to answer him.

"Hmm? Oh, yes," I say sleepily. "They've been on and off all day today, but that's nothing out of the ordinary according to Mom. She says it could be another week or so still."

"Hmm," Peeta says. "I just hope Coin doesn't try to force me to go on another mission before the time comes. I know she's getting impatient."

I've closed my eyes, luxuriating in the feel of Peeta's strong hands when there's a knock at the door. "Come in?" Peeta calls, looking over at me with a raised eyebrow.

The door slides open to reveal Madge, looking tentatively between Peeta and me and then biting her lip. "Um, sorry, I didn't realize you'd be here already, Peeta," she says. "I, um, was hoping to talk to Katniss."

Peeta helps me swing my legs over so I can sit up. "Are you okay?" Peeta asks.

Madge smiles, but it seems almost fake to me. "Yeah! I'm fine!" she insists. "I, um, just have a couple of questions for Katniss. Do you mind?" and she looks right at me, pleading with her eyes.

"No, I don't mind," I reply, as I struggle to pick myself up off the couch. Peeta pushes against the small of my back to give me a boost, before reaching down to guide my feet back into my shoes. "How can I help?"

"I thought we could go back to my room?" Madge asks, and I notice that she's trying to hide something behind the wall next to the door.

"Um, okay." I turn back to Peeta and he stands up to kiss me. "I'll see you at dinner then, okay?"

Peeta nods, and Madge and I head down two doors to her and Rye's compartment, which is identical to ours except for the flipped layout. She turns to me when the door slides shut with a look of alarm on her face and shoves a small box into my hands.

"What's this?" I say, looking more closely at the box. PREGNANCY TEST it reads, in huge black letters. My mouth opens in surprise as I connect the dots. "Oh..., but don't you want Rye here when you use this?"

Madge shakes her head frantically. "I'm already two weeks late, so I don't know why I'm even bothering with the test. Oh Katniss, he's going to be so upset if I am pregnant," she says. "Rye's told me ever since we first got together that he didn't want any kids until we were much older. He said his mom used to complain all the time about how she had her kids so young and how they ruined her youth and her figure and... well, I think that rubbed off on him."

My eyes widen in sympathy. "But, you're not his mom," I say. "Surely he isn't worried that you'll react like that?"

Madge shakes her head again. "No, I think it's more that he's afraid to have kids. I think he's afraid that he'll be like his mom. I never told you, but I got some of that tea that you used from your mom once Rye and I got married. And then, when we got here, they don't have any birth control here, so he'd just been pulling out the whole time. But then after Gloss attacked and nearly killed him, there's been a few times, where we've..." and her face flushes a deep pink.

I reach to pat her on the shoulder. "It's okay," I say, trying to sound as reassuring as possible. "Peeta's had some of those same fears that Rye has, we've talked about it. And we weren't exactly trying to get pregnant either, it just sort of happened," and then my face flushes red. "The night before the Quell reaping, off all times for it to happen," I add sheepishly as I rub my huge abdomen. "Not exactly the ideal time to be having a baby."

"I guess there's no perfect time for a baby, is there," Madge says. Then she takes a deep breath and opens the box. We read the instructions together and she heads into their tiny bathroom. I sit down on the couch to wait. Three minutes later she emerges with the test in her hand and a look of shock on her face. She shows it to me, her hand trembling. There's a big, pink plus sign on the test stick.

"Katniss," she whispers. "What am I gonna do? Rye's going to be so upset. He's barely twenty years old, and he wanted us to wait until he was at least in his later twenties."

One of those practice contractions hits me just as I open my mouth to answer, and I try not to let her see the grimace on my face as I give her a hug. "First, I think you should try and calm down. Rye might not react the way that you think when you tell him. And, if you want to wait to tell him for a little while still, you can make an appointment with my mom to make sure everything's okay first."

Madge pulls away and nods her head, wiping at the tears on her cheeks. "I just hope he doesn't think that I did... this... on purpose or something."

I shake my head as another contraction hits me, this time a little stronger, and I can't hide my wince.

"Are you okay?" Madge asks, now looking concerned.

I exhale as my belly relaxes again. "Yeah, just the practice contractions, my mom calls them. Sometimes they feel pretty real. But anyway. Rye might surprise you. He's such a sweet guy, Madge, and I really doubt he'll be that upset. And if he is, I'll have Peeta wrestle some sense into him for you."

Madge laughs as I'm hit with another contraction, and this time it causes me to sink back down onto the couch. I try to breathe through it like my mom taught me and after a minute or so I'm able to stand up again.

"Katniss, maybe I should take you down to the hospital?" Madge says, just as the horn sounds for dinner.

I shake my head. "No no, I'm fine," I say, trying to convince myself almost as much as Madge. "I think I just need to eat something."

Madge stares at me for a few seconds before nodding. "All right, then let's head down there. I'm sure Peeta is wondering where we are."

Peeta's standing at the entrance to the cafeteria looking concerned when he sees us coming down the hall. He immediately rushes over to me and takes my hand.

"Are you okay?" he asks. "You look like you're in pain."

"I'm fine," I say, trying to sound as reassuring as possible, especially since the last contraction that I had started to radiate around to my back. "Just hungry."

Peeta doesn't look convinced, but guides me over to our table anyway. "You sit," he commands, helping me down into the chair. "I'll get your tray for you."

Gale, Johanna, Haymitch and Rye all show up at the table a couple of minutes later with their trays. Johanna takes one look at me and starts to laugh. "You look like you swallowed a pinecone, Brainless," she says.

"Gee, thanks," I mutter as Peeta sets my food down in front of me. It's the same thing that we have at least three times a week here: some type of stew, wheat bread, and mashed turnips, but right now it doesn't look appetizing in the least. I take one small bite of the stew and another contraction starts, this time definitely radiating around to my back. I slide my chair back and put my elbows on the table with my head down, trying to take deep breaths through the increasing pain.

"You okay there, Catnip?" Gale asks.

"Katniss, I think we should go down to the hosp-" Peeta starts to say, when I feel an almost audible 'pop' in my lower belly and immediately realize that my underwear is wet.

"Oh my God," I gasp as I clutch Peeta's arm, trying to make sense of what just happened. "Peeta, I think... I think my water just broke."

"Oh my God!" Peeta yells, so loud that it seems like everyone stops eating to look at us. He rakes his hand though his hair. "Um, okay, so, um, yeah-"

"You need to get her down to the hospital, Boy!" Haymitch commands. "Right now!"

Peeta's hand rakes frantically through his hair again. Then he seems to regain his bearings and reaches down to pick me up. "Right. All right, then let's go."

Haymitch abandons his dinner tray to come with us, which is good, because I have to tell Peeta to stop at least three times for me to breathe through contractions on our way to the hospital. When we finally arrive, Haymitch calmly asks the woman at the entrance to page my mother. The staffer takes one look at me panting and Peeta's panicked look and runs to find a nurse. "The Mockingjay's baby is coming!" we can hear her calling down the hallway. Haymitch swears loudly and starts to follow her.

Peeta and I both roll our eyes and sigh. I rest my head against his chest until another contraction wave hits me, causing me to double over. Peeta sets me down on the floor and tries to wrap me in his arms, but I push him away and curl into a ball, trying to stretch out my lower back where the pain seems to be concentrating.

"Katniss, what can I do to help?" Peeta says, sounding helpless. I shake my head, unsure of how he can possibly help me.

The wave has just begun to recede when my mother rushes over to us. "Where's the worst of the pain, Katniss?" she asks me in her healer's voice.

I point to my lower back, right along my tailbone. "Right here," I gasp as another wave starts. Mom looks up at the clock and grabs Peeta's hands.

"Push against her back, Peeta," she says, placing his hands where I'd pointed, with his palms pressing into me. "Push hard, right where she said it hurts the most."

"How hard?" Peeta asks. "I don't want to hurt her!"

Mom pushes against his hands with most of her weight. "This hard," she says, and I can tell the difference immediately. "With back labor, counter pressure is extremely helpful for pain control."

"They have her room set up now," Haymitch says as he returns with Prim in tow. He reaches a hand down to help me stand up. "And I told that staffer to shut up, in a few choice words."

I chuckle briefly but then gasp. The waves are coming faster and faster it seems, and lasting longer. Peeta carries me into a room and sets me down on the bed before applying the counter pressure like Mom instructed.

"All right," Mom says once I've relaxed a little again. "Let's get you changed." She hands Peeta something that looks like a tank top with buttons up the front and something else that looks like a short skirt. I start unbuttoning my grey shirt as another wave hits and a gush of liquid rushes out of me, wetting through my pants. Mom raises her eyebrows when she sees it.

"Why didn't you tell me your water broke?" she asks, sounding concerned. "That's important for me to know, Katniss."

I can feel the scowl on my face. "I'm sorry, I guess I was a bit distracted!" I practically yell as I feel my belly tighten. Peeta kicks his shoes off and climbs up onto the bed behind me so he can get better leverage for the counter pressure.

"How long ago did it break?" Mom asks as she instructs Prim to apply some sickly sweet-smelling ointment to my ankles. She hands Peeta a cold, damp washcloth and tells him to put it around the back of my neck.

"While we were at dinner," Peeta replies, now helping me to pull on the tank top. "So not too long ago."

Mom sighs and nods. "All right. After your next contraction I'm going to check and see how dilated you are, okay? It won't feel very good, but I need to do it."

"None of this feels very good!" I retort as Peeta pulls my soaking wet pants and underwear down my legs. He slips the skirt up around me and Prim slides some sort of plastic-backed mat underneath me just as another wave hits. Peeta immediately moves his palms to my back and starts pressing hard.

"Why is her back hurting?" Peeta asks. "I thought contractions were supposed to only hurt in the front?"

"Usually when there's back labor it means that the baby's sunny side up, or face up," Mom replies. "Most babies are born facing down, but I think yours is facing up. It's not a bad thing, just different."

"Of course ours would have to be different," I try to joke, but then a wave hits and I squeeze my eyes shut. "Oohh, that really hurts."

"All right Katniss," Mom says when the contraction has faded. "I'm going to check you now, so I need you to lie down."

I slide down the bed to lay my head in Peeta's lap. He looks at me with such pure awe and adoration it brings tears to my eyes. "I love you. So, so much," he says.

I have to squeeze my eyes shut during the internal examination, but once my mother's done I look into the shining blue eyes of my husband. "I love you too," I say. "Ahh, here comes another one!"

"Sit her back up, Peeta," Mom commands. She moves to the side of the bed and guides me onto my hands and knees, then replaces Peeta's hands on my back. "Katniss, just let your belly sort of hang when the contractions start. It will help ease the pain in your back along with Peeta's counter pressure, and help turn your baby anterior for easier pushing."

I can only nod my head as I breathe through the painful tightening in my abdomen. "How," I gasp as it starts to fade. "How much longer do I have to do this?"

"There's no way to really know," Mom says, brushing my hair out of my face. "You're at a solid five centimeters right now, almost six. It could be another thirty minutes or another six hours."

"Six hours?!" I yell. I collapse down onto my elbows on the bed, my backside sticking up very unceremoniously. "I can't do this for six more hours!"

"Yes you can, Katniss," Prim says firmly. "If that's what it takes then you'll do it. I've seen far weaker women than you give birth before, so if they can do it, you definitely can."

"Katniss, you're more than halfway there!" Peeta adds, looking at my mother for confirmation. Mom nods at him. "See, more than halfway there, and you're doing so well, love. I'm so proud of you!"

The labor continues in much the same way for the next three hours or so. The contractions continue to hit, about two to three minutes apart, and each time Mom has me ride them out on all fours while Peeta pushes hard against my back. Peeta brushes my hair out of my face and feeds me ice chips in between contractions while Prim replaces the cold washcloth around my neck as needed. It's only after my arms start to wobble from fatigue that my mother decides to check me again. This time, I'm up to seven centimeters.

But I nearly fall apart completely when Haymitch discovers that many of the medical personnel in Thirteen have been observing me through my labor without us knowing. They've been up in some room that has a view through to my room via a one-way mirror. Peeta is furious, and Haymitch nearly bursts a vessel ranting about our lack of privacy, even as the head doctor tries to explain that many of the current medical people in Thirteen haven't ever seen a birth before. After Haymitch gives up on trying to argue our case and just covers the mirror with a sheet, it's finally decided that Prim will write a detailed report when it's over for the rest of the doctors to go over later.

It takes me a long time to recover from the shock of being watched without my knowledge. I slump into Peeta's arms, screaming about how tired I am and how rotten it is that we can't even have the birth of our baby to ourselves. Peeta's so upset that he cries along with me for a few minutes, but then he must find another reservoir of strength somewhere, because he helps me back into my elbows and knees position and starts whispering into my ear.

"I know you can do this. I know you can. I know how tired you are, and I know it hurts, and I know you want to quit, but you're a survivor, remember? You survived two Hunger Games, Katniss, and you can survive this too. And I'm right here with you, and I'm not leaving you. I'm not leaving you, and I love you so much, and I can't wait to meet our son, so let's get him born so we can meet him!"

"Aahh!!" I scream as the strongest contraction I've ever felt starts to hit. It seems to last at least twice as long as the rest, and just as it starts to fade away it ramps up again. I feel like my stomach is splitting in half the pain is so unbearable.

"You're starting transition now, Katniss," my mom yells in between my anguished cries. I feel Prim apply more ointment to my ankles. "This is the part that hurts the most, but it also means you're almost ready to push! Soon you'll feel a lot of pressure down below, and when you feel that pressure, I want to you tell me right away, okay?"

I nod my head as the wave starts to crest again, higher and higher until I'm sure I'm going to burst open, before easing just a little to only start cresting again. My arms are shaking uncontrollably and I can feel sweat pouring down my face. Mom instructs Peeta to turn me around so I'm propped up against him with my arms around his neck, with him holding me up as the pain spikes over and over, seemingly never ending.

And then I feel it. The almost uncontrollable urge to bear down. I gasp for air as I cry out. "There it is! Momma, there it is!"

Mom does another internal exam, extremely quick this time, and announces that I'm at ten centimeters and okay to start pushing. "All right Peeta, now I want you to turn her back to you again and prop her up into a squatting position. I'm estimating your son to be around eight pounds, and if he's built like the rest of you Mellark men his shoulders will be broad, so this position will allow him to slide out easier. Does that sound okay, Katniss?"

"I just want him out of me!" I yell as Peeta helps me turn around so my back is against his chest. He wraps his strong, life-saving arms around me and I feel him kiss my cheek.

"You're almost there, love, you're almost there!"

"Here it comes!" I say as I feel the contraction ramping up.

"Prop her up, Peeta!" Mom commands. Peeta pushes me up into a squat and I push, as hard as I can, grunting with the effort as my mom counts to ten. I can actually feel our son moving downward as I push.

"That was perfect, Katniss," Mom says as the contraction fades and I sit back against Peeta as Prim mops my forehead. "We'll do the same thing on the next one."

It's three contractions and three pushes later when I feel an intense burning sensation in my groin and I panic a little. "It feels like I'm burning down there, Momma! It hurts!"

Mom reaches her gloved hand between my legs and feels around. "I can feel his head, Katniss!" she says excitedly. "He's almost here! Just a couple more pushes should do it!"

"He's almost here, Katniss!" Peeta says into my ear. "You're almost done, you're almost there! We're gonna get to meet him so soon!"

I take two deep breaths and purse my lips. "All right," I say as I feel the contraction wave start to climb. "Let's do this!" I push as hard as I can while Peeta holds me up and my mom counts to ten. I refuse to stop when she reaches number ten, instead just taking another deep breath and bearing down again. I feel like my son is splitting me in two as he slowly moves down, and then all of a sudden it seems like everything in my lower body exits out of me at once.

"He's here!" Mom exclaims. "He's here, Katniss! He's here and he's beautiful!" I feel her expert hands guiding my son's body the rest of the way out of me, and then I'm collapsing against Peeta, exhausted and sobbing as Mom places my squalling baby boy on my chest. She hands Peeta a pair of medical scissors and has him cut the umbilical cord, and then Peeta stretches his legs out on either side of me and brushes my matted hair off my forehead as he kisses me over and over, whispering about how much he loves me and our baby. I clutch our son to me, trying to keep a hold of his slippery little body, as Prim moves to help our mother with the afterbirth.

"He looks just like you," I say to Peeta once I've regained my ability to speak. Even covered with the remnants of birth, I can see the fine, blond hair covering our son's head and his broad little shoulders. He's a perfect, miniature Peeta, down to the identical dimple in his tiny chin. The only differences are his dark blue, almost slate-looking eye color and the slight olive tint to his skin.

"Let's try latching him on now, Katniss," Mom says as Prim slides the messy mat out of from under me and replaces it with a clean one. Mom then removes her gloves and reaches up to open the first few buttons on my tank top, and I guide our baby's mouth to my breast. I tickle his tiny lips with the nipple, just like Mom taught me, and after a few seconds he opens his mouth wide and latches on perfectly. My eyes widen in surprise at the sensation.

"Woah! That's different!" I say, and then start to laugh. I'm so exhausted that I'm loopy. I can feel Peeta's tired laughter reverberate through his chest.

Prim is smiling so hard I think her face will split in half. "Have you guys chosen a name for him?" she asks.

I look up at Peeta, and he nods at me before leaning down to press his lips to my forehead. "Yes," I say, looking back to Prim and Mom. "His name is Sage."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back labor is common when babies are in the posterior position, or sunny side up. This means the back of the baby's head is pushing against the nerves in the tailbone of the mother.
> 
> About 1 in 5 babies are in the posterior position at the start of the laboring process. The majority of these turn anterior before the pushing stage begins.
> 
> The transition stage is when the mother dilates from about 7 or 8 CM up to 10. Once the mother is at 10 CM she can start to push.
> 
> Laboring on all fours is helpful for turning posterior babies, and helps ease the pain of back labor.
> 
> The majority of babies born in hospitals are delivered with the mother pushing either on her back or in a semi-reclining position. However, pushing in either a squatting or semi-upright position allows the mother to push more effectively, and opens the pelvic bones wider, reducing the incidence of shoulder dystocia. 
> 
> Shoulder dystocia occurs when the baby's anterior shoulder gets stuck in the birth canal. This is more common in smaller women who are delivering large babies.
> 
>  
> 
> I'd love to hear what you think! Thank you so much for reading! :)


	18. The War Must Go On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will change POV from Peeta to Katniss about 2/3 of the way in. The chapters were too short on their own so I combined them.

PPOV 

I'm sitting on a reclining chair in Katniss's hospital room, my newborn son sleeping in the wrap against my bare chest and my exhausted wife sleeping on the bed next to us. We had a couple of very scary hours shortly after he was born when Katniss started to hemorrhage. Mrs. Everdeen and Prim had helped Katniss change into some clean pajamas and gave Sage a bath after his first feeding. They were both out of the room at the time gathering some replacement supplies when Katniss mumbled my name and I turned to see her eyes roll back into her head. Panicking, I ran into the hallway with the baby in my arms and yelled for help. The head doctor came in and gave Katniss some medicine to try and stop the bleeding, but instead of helping her the medicine actually made it worse. Haymitch returned with Mrs. Everdeen and Prim right as Katniss's blood pressure came dangerously close to bottoming out. It took the doctor and two nurses five tries to get an IV started and push fluids, and by that time Prim and I were both screaming at the doctor to let Mrs. Everdeen help, as he had adamantly refused up to that point to let her assist him. 

It wasn't until Haymitch threatened to punch the doctor out that he finally allowed Mrs. Everdeen to treat Katniss with her herbal concoctions, on the condition that she keep Katniss's IV fluids running. The herbs managed to get the bleeding under control after a few minutes and her blood pressure starting climbing back up shortly after that. Mrs. Everdeen then insisted, over the doctor's protests, on using me as the infant warmer instead of the bassinet and warming lights. She said that skin to skin contact is best for keeping the baby's body temperature stable, so he's been in the wrap on me, wearing nothing but a diaper and a knit hat, pretty much non-stop since he was born, only pausing when he needs to eat.

I haven't slept all night. The adrenaline rush from Sage's birth being quickly replaced by panic when Katniss passed out had my emotions in such a turmoil that I've only managed to calm myself down in the last couple hours. Prim and Mrs. Everdeen finally felt Katniss was stable enough for them to leave the room for a few hours to get some rest, with the understanding that I was to have them and only them paged immediately if we needed anything.

I sniff my son's tiny head for the millionth time. I shift a little in my seat, tucking the soft wrap gently around him, making sure his head is supported. I feel a surge of protectiveness travel through my body as I gently kiss his forehead. No. This little boy won't ever know anything except love from his parents, just like Katniss told me. That horrible cycle is ending with me.

I must have dozed off for a while, because the quiet knock on the door startles me. Haymitch, who's been keeping sentry outside the room pretty much the entire time, pokes his head around the door, glancing first at Katniss and then meeting my eyes.

"Hey Boy, ah, your brother is wondering if you're up to any visitors?" he says quietly.

"Is it just Rye?" I ask. My hands instinctively grip my son a little tighter.

Haymitch looks behind him briefly then back at me. "Rye and Madge are both here."

"Yeah, they can come in, if he promises to be quiet. Katniss is sleeping."

Haymitch nods and disappears as the door opens more fully and my brother and his wife walk gingerly into the room. I reach over to pull Katniss's blankets up closer to her neck with one hand as Madge lets out a tiny squeal and reaches for the baby.

"Ah," I say, trying not to sound too harsh. "Can, um, can you wash your hands first? Before you touch him?" I know that's what Katniss would want.

"Oh goodness, of course!" Madge sputters. "What was I thinking?" She and Rye both quickly wash their hands and then crouch down next to us, with Madge gently running her hand over the wrap covering my son's back.

"Whoa, he's tiny!" Rye says. He peers under the wrap. "But definitely a Mellark. He's got the shoulders and the chin," and he smirks and winks at me.

"I don't think Katniss appreciated his shoulders that much when he was being born," I say quietly as I chuckle. "But she loves his chin."

Rye stands back up and glances at his wife. "And you're sure you want one of these?" he says teasingly. Madge's face instantly crumples into tears, even though she's smiling.

"Yes, you idiot," she says, elbowing him in the ribs. "And you will too. You just wait."

I feel like I'm missing something. "Um, what are you talking about?" I ask Rye.

Rye looks at Madge and nods at me. "Go ahead and tell him."

"We're having a baby!" Madge practically shrieks, so loud I have to shush her so she doesn't wake up Katniss. "I'm sorry, I'm just so excited! That's why I pulled Katniss out of your room last night, before she went into labor. We just found out!"

My jaw drops as I look at my brother. Rye was always very clear that he didn't want children until he was much older, even after he and Madge got together and married. I wonder if his near-death experience at the hands of Gloss had anything to do with his change of heart. 

"Wow!" I say incredulously. "Congratulations! That's so exciting!"

"Yeah," Rye says, running his hand through his hair. "Who woulda thought that, huh little brother?"

I try and fail to stifle a yawn right then, and Madge leans down again to pat Sage's back. "We should let you rest. But thank you so much for letting us come by."

"Come back tomorrow too," I say as they walk towards the door. "Katniss and the baby might be awake then." They both nod and wave as they exit the room.

The baby wakes up rooting about thirty minutes later, so after waking Katniss I carefully stand up and crawl onto her bed behind her so I can help hold Sage to her breast. I haven't seen her this weak since that day in the rain when I threw her the bread. Sage latches on easily and eats his fill, and after I change his diaper we resume our position on the chair.

Over the next two days Katniss is able to stay awake a little more and start to eat again, but she is still weak enough to worry me. She can barely stand without her face blanching almost paper-white, and I have to help her hold Sage every time he eats. Mrs. Everdeen assures me that this isn't out of the realm of normal post-partum weakness, but something doesn't sit right with me.

Haymitch pokes his head into the room again on the third day, asking me if I'm up to having another visitor. I nod, expecting maybe Finnick or Johanna, or even Boggs or President Coin, so I'm a little surprised when Gale walks into the room. 

"Hey," he says. He stops at the foot of Katniss's bed, and I immediately move to tuck her blankets higher. 

"Hey Gale," I reply. We stare at each other for a few uncomfortable seconds before he walks closer to me. 

"So this is the little guy?" he asks, peering down at Sage but making no move to touch him. His body temp has been stable now for the last day and half, so he's dressed in a tiny t-shirt that Gale's mom gave us and a pair of socks. Gale studies him for a moment and nods his head. "He's definitely a Mellark."

I feel my eyes narrowing. "Were you expecting something else?" I say, trying to make it sound lighthearted. I hate that my first reaction to anything Gale seems to say is to get defensive.

Gale shakes his head quickly. "No, not at all. Rye told me that the baby looked just like you. He was right." He glances at Katniss again, jerking his head in her direction. "How's she doing?"

I huff out a deep breath, rubbing at my eyes. "She's still pretty weak. She is improving, but it's been slow going. Mrs. Everdeen doesn't seem too concerned, but I can't help but be worried."

Gale nods. "I'm sure she'll be okay. She's pretty tough," he says quietly. Then he turns to leave the room. "Anyway, congratulations."

"Thanks," I say as he exits, only to return two seconds later. 

"Oh, I forgot to mention," he says. "Coin wants you to come to a meeting tomorrow morning in Command. It's time to start planning for District 2, so make sure to get your schedule in the morning."

I shake my head. There aren't many things I'd rather not do than attend a planning meeting tomorrow, where I'm sure I'll be expected to leave soon. "Surely Coin can't expect me to leave them already? Not with Katniss still so weak?" 

"I don't know any more than you do," Gale says, sounding defensive. "All I know is there's a meeting scheduled. So I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Fine," I say, trying and failing to hide my frustration with the whole thing. Intellectually I know that we shouldn't wait long to get to District 2 with the momentum we've built up, but damn, the timing sucks.

Prim comes in an hour later to discontinue Katniss's IV fluids and get her out of bed for a while. She's able to walk with Prim's help to the bathroom and take a shower, but Prim has to help her wash and she falls asleep again as soon as she's back on the bed. Prim then insists on holding the baby so I can shower and change as well. The shower feels nice, but it's funny how fast I've gotten used to holding my son. My arms feel empty now without him.

Katniss improves quite a bit throughout the night, which is very encouraging and good timing as her milk finally comes in. With Sage wanting to eat every ninety minutes or so, Mrs. Everdeen says that the only reason it took this long is due to Katniss's blood loss. Katniss is able to hold the baby on her own by the wee hours of the morning and I see her smile for the first time in three days. I'm even able to get a couple hours' sleep before breakfast time rolls around and I leave briefly to get my schedule imprinted.

"Hey," Katniss says to me as I walk back into the room. Sage is eating again, so I lean down to reach her lips for a kiss.

"Hey love," I whisper back. "You almost sound like yourself again."

"I feel a little more normal," she says. Then she points to her breast where Sage is suckling eagerly. "Except for here. I've never had boobs before, and they feel weird."

I laugh hard, probably even more because I'm so tired, but it's so nice to hear her voice sounding strong again that I don't care. I take a second to leer at her rather impressive chest. "Well, you know I certainly don't mind."

Katniss giggles, mildly disturbing the baby. "You're horrible," she admonishes. "I'm sure I look terrible right now."

I sit down on the edge of her bed and wrap my arms around my little family. "That's not possible," I whisper in her ear. 

She turns her head to peck me on the lips, her grey eyes glancing down at the schedule tattooed on my forearm. Instantly I see her face scowl. "Coin doesn't waste any time, does she?"

I sigh deeply, shaking my head. "No, she doesn't."

Katniss leans her head against my shoulder. "I have to keep reminding myself that we're almost done. We're almost done, we're almost done. But right now I wish it would all just go away."

My arms tighten around her. "We are almost done," I whisper. "Not too much longer now."

A single knock on the door breaks us out of our peaceful silence. This time it's Boggs who pokes his head around the door. He glances down at my printed arm and purses his lips. "Did you read your schedule?" he asks. "The meeting in Command started ten minutes ago."

No, I'd apparently forgotten that I actually needed to read the schedule. I reach over to kiss Katniss and Sage. "I'll see you both soon." 

I follow Boggs as he navigates through the various hallways and elevators that lead to Special Defense and Command. The entire crew is assembled when I arrive, with Coin glaring at me as soon as I walk through the door.

"All right then," she says as I take a seat next to my brother. "Now that our Mockingjay has finally decided to join us, let's get down to business." She presses a button on the panel in front of her and the large screen covering one of the walls lights up with some sort of aerial map.

"District 2 is a large district, composed of a series of villages spread across the mountains," Coin begins. "Each of these villages was originally associated with a granite mine or a quarry, although up until recently many of them were devoted to the housing and training of Peacekeepers." Several red dots appear on the map, highlighting the locations of the various villages. 

"Now," she continues. "None of this would present much of a problem, since we have a good amount of air power and now have plenty of foot soldiers thanks to the rest of the districts." She presses another button on the panel and a larger red dot appears and starts to blink. Coin then nods towards Beetee, indicating for him to take over.

"That big blinking dot represents the Nut," Beetee says. "It is pretty much located in the center of the district, and it houses the majority of the Capitol's military, both equipment and personnel."

"And they actually call it the Nut?" Rye asks.

"Actually, I named it the Nut," Plutarch says, his eyes crinkling as he smirks. "Since its such a tough nut to crack."

There's a few seconds of silence around the room before Beetee clears his throat to continue.

"Now then," he says. "The Nut was established directly after the Dark Days, when the Capitol had lost its bases and equipment here in Thirteen and was desperate for a new stronghold. They placed some of their military resources on the outskirts of the Capitol itself, nuclear missiles, some aircraft and troops, but a very significant chunk of their power was now under enemy control. So they looked a little closer to home, and found it in District 2."

The map now zooms in to give us a closer view of the actual structure. Beetee wheels himself closer to the screen so he can point to the various sections. "Now, from the air the Nut appears to be just another mountain with a few entrances on its faces. But from what we've been able to glean from our intelligence sources, on the inside they've tried to replicate this facility here in Thirteen to the best of their ability in the limited amount of time that they've had since the Dark Days."

Beetee takes us on a virtual tour of the base. Inside the mountain are vast caverns, made from the cutting of stone slabs which were then transported via train to construct distant buildings. I can remember seeing that train in the square when Katniss and I visited Two on our Victory Tour. The Capitol mined enough of the stone to make a space big enough for their base, filling it with a Command Center, meeting rooms, a hangar, missile launchers, etc.

But it was a risky move, the Capitol putting so much of their military resources into another one of the districts. So, in order to ensure that their base wouldn't later be taken over by the district who housed it and worked it, they babied the inhabitants of District 2. They received more food, more pay for their jobs, more education. Their tributes won the Hunger Games more than half the time due to their special tribute training academy. Many of their citizens were employed in and around the Nut. In fact, the main population of the rebels there in Two were the families and descendants of the original stone cutters, who were pretty much the only people who weren't given some sort of specialized treatment.

Beetee finishes his presentation and wheels himself back to his place at the table, indicating for Boggs to take over the conversation. Boggs clears his throat and stands up as a picture of a tall, rather severe-looking woman appears on the screen.

"This is Commander Lyme," Boggs begins. "She says that they've tried pretty much every way they can think of to bring down this mountain and have had no success. So we're going to be bringing in Paylor from Eight and several of the other district commanders to all meet together in Two to tackle this problem in person. Beetee, Johanna, Gale, Rye, and I will all be going along with you, Peeta."

I must be on the verge of nodding off when I hear Boggs say my name. "What?" I rub my eyes and look up at Boggs. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Boggs sighs heavily. "I said, we'll all be going with you, to tackle this problem in person with Commander Lyme. Once we've taken the Nut it's pretty much a given that the rest of District 2 will fall. Then we will be able to finally turn our attention to the Capitol."

I nod. "That sounds reasonable." 

"Very well," Coin says. "You're all scheduled to leave tomorrow."

"What?" I yell, breaking out into a cold sweat. "There's no way I can leave tomorrow! Katniss just had the baby, I can't leave them already!"

Coin narrows her eyes. "The doctors assure me that she will make a full recovery-"

"Yes, but she's still so weak!" I protest, interrupting Coin and earning another glare. "She can barely walk, much less take care of a newborn baby by herself! We need more time for her to get her strength back!"

"And I'm sure her mother and sister will be more than happy to continue to assist with the infant, and her recovery," Coin says coldly. "We need you to leave for Two tomorrow, and that is final."

"Peeta," Madge says gently from her seat on Rye's other side. "You know I'll be here to help Katniss as well. I promise that she and the baby will both be well taken care of."

I can feel tears flooding my exhausted eyes. "But he's only three days old! And I'm his dad! I shouldn't be leaving him right away. Katniss needs my help." I glance over at my brother, who gives me an almost imperceptible shake of his head.

Desperate, I turn to Boggs. "There's no way we can have one more day? Just to get Katniss out of the hospital and settled back into our room? Please?"

Boggs drops his gaze to the table, almost looking ashamed. "I'm sorry Peeta," he mumbles. "But we've put this off long enough. We must leave for Two tomorrow morning."

 

KPOV 

Sage and I both must have fallen asleep waiting for Peeta to come back, but my eyes snap open the second he walks through the door. The miserable look on his face causes me to burst into tears, and he rushes over to the bed so fast he almost trips over himself.

"No, no, love, please don't cry, please don't," he says as he crushes me against him, burying his face into my tangled hair. I can feel his tears falling on the back of my neck. "Please don't cry."

"I can't help it," I manage to say between sniffles. "She's making you leave us already? Why?" I glance down at our sleeping newborn and clutch him tighter. "Peeta, he was only just born!"

Peeta inhales shakily and looks at me before pressing his lips to my temple. "I know. I tried to tell her that, Katniss, I did. But she wouldn't listen. She said it's imperative that we leave as soon as possible."

I press my palm to my face and squeeze my eyes shut, willing myself to stop crying. Tears won't do us any good now. "So when do you have to go?"

Peeta's weepy blue eyes meet my own. "Tomorrow. 0700. It's a long flight out there so we need to leave early."

Fresh tears try to escape from beneath my eyelids as I squeeze them closed again. How on earth am I going to be able to take care of my son by myself? I have no idea what I'm doing!

Peeta presses another kiss to my temple. "I'm going to set up a schedule for people to come and help you with the baby. Prim and your mom, and Madge, and even Haymitch. I'll make sure that you're only alone when you want to be. And we're going to get you back to our room this afternoon. I think you'll both feel a lot better without the steady stream of doctors and nurses coming in to gape at you."

He's right. While I have regained some of my lost strength, being stuck here in the hospital with the revolving door of curious medical personnel has just about caused me to snap more than once. Haymitch tries hard to screen as many visitors as possible, but even he needs to sleep on occasion.

"I'd like that," I whisper. "I'm ready to get out of here."

Peeta nods. "And I'm going to leave strict instructions that you're not to be bothered by any of the locals for any reason, unless it has something to do with me. Okay? I don't want curious people knocking on our door just to catch a glimpse of the baby."

He's always protecting me, always looking out for me. What did I do to deserve this incredible man? "Thank you."

He leans in to kiss me. "I love you. And you'll be okay, I'll make sure of that."

"I'm still going to worry about you," I mumble. "You know I will. District 2 may as well be the Capitol for how difficult it'll be to take it over."

"Yes, I know," Peeta replies. "But once we're done there we'll be that much closer to going home."

Peeta and I both manage to nap for about an hour before Sage wakes up for another feeding. Then my mother and Prim give him a final exam, followed by a bath. He protests loudly through the bath, causing my let-down reflex to trigger and me to start leaking milk through my pajama shirt. Mom hands me a pair of round cotton pads to put into my bra as I get dressed back into my Thirteen greys. It feels strange to have to button a pair of pants again. 

Once Sage is fed and dressed and I've been given a diaper-folding lesson from Prim, Peeta picks me up to carry me back to our compartment. I try to insist that I'm okay to walk, but Mom vetoes that idea and I refuse to ride in a wheelchair. Prim follows along with us, carrying a basket of supplies for me and the baby and Mom carries Sage in the wrap. Once we're back in our room, they arrange the supplies within easy reach of the bed and the couch and then leave us alone, promising to check on us later.

Peeta and I spend most of the rest of the day sleeping on and off, pretty much only waking when either Sage is hungry or we are. Peeta insists on doing all of the diaper changes, saying that he needs to practice while he can, and Sage is tucked in right next to me on the bed while we sleep. We were offered a small crib by one of the doctors, but Mom says that babies tend to sleep easier when they're next to Mommy, so we declined the crib. I try to soak up every second that I can of being sandwiched between my two boys, knowing that tomorrow my husband will have to leave us to go fight in a war.

0630 the next day rolls around far too fast, and I'm propped up against the pillows feeding Sage while Peeta showers and dresses to leave. Once he's ready he crawls back up onto the bed to cuddle with us for a couple minutes, his eyes intently watching our son as he nurses. 

"Please promise me you'll be careful," I whisper. After what happened in District 4 I'm extra worried about this trip. "Please Peeta, promise me."

His arms tighten around me. "I promise, Katniss. I promise. And I've arranged with Prim and Madge and Haymitch to check in on you both every day. They're going to bring your meals here to the room while I'm gone so you don't have to go down to the cafeteria. You just stay here and bond with Sage and rest as much as you can, okay?"

I nod, feeling the tears already threatening to fall from my eyes. "Thank you," I whisper. I lean my head against his shoulder for a minute. "You'd better go. I don't want Boggs or Coin to have to come looking for you again."

Peeta slides off the bed and turns to cup my face. He leans down to kiss me, his lips wet and salty from both our tears. I kiss him back fiercely, trying to convey all my love for him into one kiss. 

"I love you so much," I whisper when we break apart. "Come back to us soon."

"And I love you," he replies. "And I'll be counting the minutes till I can come back." Then he kisses me one more time, plants a kiss on our son's cheek, and walks out of the room, with the door sliding shut behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so relieved with the positive responses to the baby's birth story and his name. Thank you all so much!!
> 
> Please don't forget to comment! I can't tell you how much I appreciate each and every one!


	19. District 2

PPOV

I have to force myself not to cry as I walk from our compartment down to the hangar. Boggs probably already sees me as enough of a burden on these missions without me showing up in tears. I'm almost certain that he doesn't see me as a soldier. Even if I've had all the combat training and passed all the tests.

I am surprised though to see my brother's eyes looking red-rimmed and puffy when I arrive. As we take our seats on the hovercraft he leans over to whisper to me.

"Buddy, I get it now," he says. I must give him a confused look, because he continues. "I mean, it was always hard before to leave Madge and go on these trips. You know? Even with the minimal danger that we're usually in, it's still dangerous. But now... with the baby on the way... now I can understand why you always find it so hard to leave. It's a whole nother level when you think you're leaving your kid behind if you don't make it back."

I nod sadly. "It's even worse now that he's here," I say. "Leaving them in that tiny hole in the wall room this morning was one of the hardest things I've ever done."

Rye claps me on the shoulder. "Tell you what," he says. "I'll make sure you get back to your wife and baby, if you do the same for me. Deal?" He raises his eyebrow, just like he used to do when we were kids and he was trying to get me to do something that wasn't very smart, and I can't help but laugh.

"Deal."

I'm so tired and drained from the events of the past few days that I actually manage to sleep most of the way to District 2, waking up only when we're getting ready to land. We're greeted on the ground by Commanders Paylor and Lyme and immediately shuffled into a small abandoned house in one of the outer villages. Commander Lyme takes us around the village, introducing us to the people there and we're all given duties to help in the camp. The thin, mountain air is cold and crisp and despite missing Katniss and Sage terribly, I'm able to fall asleep quite easily once the sun goes down.

The next day the speeches begin. The entire production crew is here on this trip, with Messalla and Castor following Gale and Rye around and Cressida and Pollux sticking with Boggs and myself. Rallying the troops here in the outskirts isn't difficult at all, but as we move closer to the Nut I can sense the trepidation and reluctance in the District 2 citizens. They tend to look at me with the same suspicious eyes that Katniss and I saw on our Victory Tour. The good sleep I had on our first night here is never repeated as the nightmares come roaring back. It takes several days for us to move a few miles, and even then there's far more actual fighting than we've seen before. The camera crew films me destroying a few of the loyalist supply depots with my incendiary arrows, and I actually have to fire a few warning shots at a group of stubborn loyalists before they finally realize that they've lost and surrender.

Rye and I get to talk to Madge and Katniss a few times, with the pair of them looking as pale and exhausted as I'm sure we look to them. Sage already looks different to me, more like a baby and less like a skinny newborn. His face is fuller and his eyes are bright. I miss them both so much that it hurts.

One evening Rye and I are given the task of restocking the firewood in our current camp. We're clomping through the woods gathering dried branches when I hear moaning sounds coming from behind a clump of trees. I raise my eyebrows, thinking there's someone who's injured over there who needs our help when Rye grabs my arm.

"Don't," he whispers, with a rather pained look on his face.

"Why not?" I whisper back. "It sounds like someone's in pain over there!"

Then we both hear it. "Oh, oh, oh yeah, yeah, right there! Oh my God, Gale!!"

Yep. That's Johanna Mason's voice, yelling Gale Hawthorne's name in obvious erotic pleasure. I feel a blush rising up from my neck as my brother yanks me away several yards.

"Did you know that was going on?" I ask Rye once we're clear of their earshot.

Rye shudders. "Why do ya think I've been asking to bunk with you and Boggs pretty much the whole time we've been here? I swear those two are like rabbits! They even did it right next to me once, thinking I was asleep! It was even more mortifying than that time I heard you and Katni-"

"All right I get it!" I say loudly. I shake my head, trying to rid it of the images I have no business trying to picture. "I just hope they remember that they're supposed to actually be hunting for our dinner right now and don't show back up at camp empty handed."

Gale and Johanna return about an hour later with several geese in tow, and as we work to rid them of their feathers so we can cook them, I try to study Gale and Johanna as they work together. I see her giving him several looks while we work, but he doesn't return any of them. He doesn't hold her gaze or let his hands linger any longer than necessary, like Katniss and I always do and I've seen Madge and Rye do when they're together. Gale doesn't seem to be acting like he's in love with her, but if Johanna is aware of that she doesn't seem to care. Maybe they're only using each other as a distraction. I know Rye did plenty of that kind of thing when he was still in school. The problem with distractions like that though, is that they can come back to bite you in the butt sometimes.

The next morning we all assemble in the Justice Building to further discuss the problem of the Nut. President Coin joins us via the Holo as we discuss ways to try and take over the huge military complex while keeping the loss of life to a minimum. As Commanders Lyme and Paylor go back and forth with Coin on exactly how much loss of life is acceptable, I take a moment to study the two of them more closely. Both Paylor and Lyme's main concern seems to be saving as many of their soldiers as possible, while President Coin insists that the taking of the mountain and obtaining the equipment inside it is the more important priority. Beetee and Boggs both try to cut in with their opinions, which are somewhere in the middle, and absolutely nothing gets accomplished for hours on end until Gale stands up from the table and storms away to sit in one of the windowsills that has a good view of the mountain.

"Do you have something you'd like to say, Solider Hawthorne?" Boggs asks, looking relieved at the excuse to change the subject.

Gale looks around the room before nodding his head. "Yeah. I think we should forget about trying to take over the Nut, and instead look into destroying it. Or at least disabling it. Then we don't have to worry about the Capitol coming and looking for their stolen equipment."

Paylor blinks a few times. "So you're suggesting that we blow it up somehow?" She shakes her head. "We've already tried destroying the entrances. They're set too far inside the stone for any real damage to be done."

"No, no, I wasn't thinking about destroying the entrances," Gale says. "I'm talking about destroying the mountain itself. Trapping the equipment under tons of earth and rock, so deep that no one could get to it. We can set up detonation sequences that would trigger avalanches, essentially blocking all the entrances. Make it so no one can ever get back in."

"Or get out!" Paylor says angrily. "You'd be trapping hundreds of people down there along with the equipment! It's barbaric!"

"Beetee," President Coin says from the Holo screen. "Can it be done?"

Beetee pinches the bridge of his nose before pushing his glasses up. "Yes, but it'd be tricky. We'd have to design the detonation sequence with great care, and once it's in motion we couldn't hope to control it."

My breath catches in my throat. "Gale, you don't mean to do that, do you? Most of those people down there are just workers! They deserve a chance to surrender!"

"Yes they do," Lyme says. She stands up to her full, rather impressive height and eyes Gale up and down. "I will not condone a course of action where my district's citizens are just left to suffocate."

Gale glares right back at her. "Most of them are Capitol sympathizers! And no one bothered to give Twelve a chance to surrender before it was firebombed!"

"Gale!" I shout. "The people in the Nut aren't the same people who bombed Twelve!"

Gale walks right over to me and points his finger in my face. "You shut your damn mouth!" His grey eyes are flashing furiously. "You were so out of it during the bombing I'm surprised you even remember any part of it!"

"That is enough!" Rye yells. He puts his palm against Gale's chest and guides him back to his chair at the table. "Gale, you're a better person than that to throw that in Peeta's face. Now let's sit back down and discuss this rationally." Gale scowls at Rye but obeys, sitting back down heavily into his chair.

"Why can't we leave the train tunnel alone?" I ask. "At least give the people one way out, so they can escape into the Square if they're able to."

"And then what?" Gale asks harshly. "We just let them come out firing at us? You know they'll be heavily armed!"

"Then we can be heavily armed also," I say, trying to match his tone of voice. "We can warn them as they come out that they're surrounded and it's no use in trying to escape."

Gale's nostrils are flaring as he looks around the room. "My father wasn't given a chance to escape when his mine exploded." He looks right at me. "And Katniss's father wasn't given a chance to escape. Why should these people be given one?"

"Because most of them are just like your father, and Katniss's father," I say. "They're just people, Gale. Just workers, like your father. Like Katniss's father. Gale, the Capitol killed your father, these people in District 2 didn't. And it shouldn't be up to us to decide their fate. If it is, then we're no better than the Capitol."

President Coin's voice speaks up from the Holo. "I want to move forward with this plan. Beetee, get going on the calculations. I want a report in an hour on how you plan to proceed."

"Please wait!" I shriek. "Think about it! Can we really afford, as a country, to kill that many more of us off? Pretty soon there won't be enough people left if we keep eliminating most of the population every seventy-five years." I look around the room and then at the image of President Coin. "At least give me a chance to talk to the people in the Nut. To warn them about what's coming, and give them a chance to surrender first!"

Paylor and Lyme both nod. "I concur with that request," Paylor says.

"Yes, Peeta's right," Beetee says. "If we factor in the expected casualties and wounded from this operation, then... Peeta has a valid point about the potential for killing ourselves off."

Coin's eyes narrow as she looks between her commanders and me. "Fine. You have one hour to convince them. After that, the attack will begin."

Everyone starts moving at once. Paylor and Lyme start assembling their troops near the Square to make sure the train station remains secure. The camera crew starts fitting me with a special microphone that will project my voice deep into the mountain, so no one can say later that they didn't hear the option to surrender. Rye assembles some new arrows for me so my quiver is full once again. Gale paces back and forth scowling, holding his crossbow in his hands and making everyone else jumpy until Johanna drags him away, most likely for a quick romp in the forest.

Once I'm ready I follow Boggs and Rye down to the train station. Cressida dabs some makeup on my face and sets Castor and Pollux up on either side of me so she can have both angles to use. "All right Peeta, you're on in three... two... one..."

A huge image of me appears on the screens set up in the Square. "People of District 2, this is Peeta Mellark speaking to you from the Square outside of your mountain fortress." I pause for a second to glance at Cressida. She nods at me to continue.

"I am here to implore you to surrender your military forces and stand down. There is no need for further bloodshed." I take a deep breath before continuing. "I am also here to warn you. In less than one hour there will be an attack on this very mountain. This attack will be powerful enough to block every entrance and exit, essentially trapping any person who decides to stay along with the destroyed military equipment. But you people in there can help prevent this attack. If you surrender, if you choose to join us, you can show the Capitol that you understand that even their most favorited district is still just another one of the districts. That you understand that you're still just more people who are expendable, if necessary, to further the needs and wants of the Capitol. If you surrender now, you can send a message that every single district, all thirteen of them, is standing united against the tyranny of the Capitol. That we all stand together against President Snow!"

I pause again, trying to think of something more to add when Cressida calls 'Cut'. "That was perfect, Peeta," she says. "Quick and to the point, not too threatening but still firm."

I nod. "So what happens now?" I ask Boggs.

"Now we wait," he replies. He checks his watch. "They have around forty minutes to get out before the attack begins."

I start pacing back and forth, my bow swinging from my hand as I walk, hoping that at least some of the people have heard me and will heed my warnings. After several minutes a few people come stumbling out into the Square, followed by a few more and a few more. Over the next half hour or so a steady trickle of people walk out of the Nut, but it's not near the amount of people that I was hoping for. Boggs asks some of them where they were stationed in the mountain, and many reply that they were on the outermost sections. Most of them are the janitors and other maintenance people, and all were unarmed. But not a single member of their military personnel has come out by the time the deadline arrives.

"All right, it's time to pull back," Boggs says. He tugs on my arm. "We need to get you somewhere where it's safer."

"Can't I try one more time?" I plead, even as my brother starts walking towards the Justice Building. "Maybe not everyone could hear me before?"

"Sometimes people just don't want to listen to reason, Peet," Rye says. "You did all you could, and now it's time for the soldiers to do their part."

The attack proceeds without further delay. Our hoverplanes have the element of surprise even with my warning, and by the time the Capitol's antiaircraft weapons begin to fire, it's too little, too late. Gale's plan was indeed a good one. Rye and I watch out the window as entire sections of the Nut collapse before our eyes, obliterating any sign that human beings have ever set foot on the place. We stand speechless as waves of stone thunder down the mountain, burying the entrances under tons of rock. A cloud of dust and dirt raises up and blackens the sky. I think about the people trapped in there, probably panicked and stumbling around in the dark, trying desperately to claw their way out of the blocked ventilation shafts. People who won't ever see their families again. After a while it becomes too much and I have to look away.

Once it's over and the cloud of debris has settled a little, I exit the Justice Building and sit down on the steps. Rye comes and sits down next to me after a few minutes. He doesn't say anything. Sometimes there's just nothing to be said.

The sound of gunfire startles me and I look up to see Gale and Boggs have appeared on either side of me and Rye. "There's some survivors approaching on one of the trains," Boggs says.

"So why are we firing on them?" I ask angrily. "They probably need our help!"

"We're only firing on them if they fire first," Gale snaps as he grabs my arm. "C'mon, we need to get you guys somewhere safer."

"No!" I yell. "I want to talk to them! Let them know that we mean them no harm, and maybe they won't come off the train shooting!"

Gale rolls his eyes, but Boggs nods and radios to the camera crew. In a flash Cressida is there fitting me with the microphone and touching up my face. Then Boggs leads me down into the Square, his rifle at the ready.

"This is Peeta Mellark!" I say once we've reached the Square. "Hold your fire! Those of you arriving on the trains, please hold your fire! The rebels will not shoot at you unless they are provoked! Please hold your fire as you exit the trains! We don't want to fight with you!"

The spray of bullets slows down as more people stumble off the train, their weapons dangling from their hands as the rebel soldiers rush over to them. "There are wounded here!" I yell. "We're here to help you, please hold your fire!"

A second train pulls into the station with flames licking at its wheels, causing smoke to billow into the Square as the doors open and belch out more wounded. A group of several rebel soldiers advances towards the open doors, helping the workers out as they disable and drop their weapons.

"We're here to help you!" I repeat. The smoke from the burning train has started to irritate my eyes, causing me to squint hard enough that I don't notice the rebel solider who breaks off from his rank and advances towards me. And when squinting against the thickening smoke isn't enough and I reach up to rub my eyes, I don't notice that he then aims at and shoots two of the armed workers getting off the train before they can lower their weapons.

I hear Boggs calling for someone to drop his rifle, and in the confusion caused by my blurry vision I think he's talking to someone who's getting off the train, and not the man who's now aiming his rifle directly at me.

In fact, I only look up just in time to see him pull the trigger and feel the two shots as they hit me on my side, right before I drop like a rock onto the concrete of the Square.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love comments! Please don't hesitate to tell me what you think! ❤


	20. Hummingbirds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for mentions of possible postpartum depression.

KPOV

I try to keep to a routine. Mom says that both babies and new mommies do better with routines, so I try. Wake up. Feed Sage. Change Sage. Drink water. Eat something. Sleep. Repeat. I'm not sure if it helps me or not, but at least Sage seems relatively content most of the time. I'm sure if I felt more comfortable in my own skin it would help a little, but I barely recognize my body right now. My stomach is still slightly rounded, with something my mother called stretch marks, but look more to me like lightning bolts under my belly button. My breasts are larger than they've ever been in my life and look strange and out of proportion to my eyes. My hips are a little wider now too, so my old pants don't fit anymore. I don't feel like this body belongs to me, and I'm scared that Peeta will think I'm ugly now, with all my scars and stretch marks and bigger hips.

Madge comes in every morning with my breakfast, but she doesn't usually stay long because she says the smell of the food makes her nausea worse. One morning a few days ago she even had to go get sick in my bathroom, and when she came out she made some comment about how lucky I was that I didn't have a lot of nausea with my pregnancy. When I reminded her that I was either unconscious or on large doses of pain medication for almost my entire first trimester, she said she'd see me tomorrow and left the room without another word.

Prim comes with my lunch every day and stays to chat and coo at the baby while I eat. She also changes out our laundry and holds Sage for me so I can take a shower. Haymitch usually brings me my dinner, often with Finnick and Annie in tow to keep me company for a while. They bring me books to read and card games to play, to try to keep me occupied when I'm alone with the baby. I really do appreciate the things that everyone is trying to do for us, but I'm still so unbelievably lonely I can hardly stand it. I miss my home, with its beautiful forests and mountains in the distance. I miss the fresh air that always helped me feel more alive. I miss being able to look out a window and see real sunshine. I miss hearing the birds singing. I miss being able to sleep for longer than an hour at a time.

But I miss my husband most of all.

I miss the feel of his arms around me at night. I miss his calm, steadying presence. I miss his sparking blue eyes and his blond curls that flop down over his forehead. I miss the smell of him, that intoxicating mix of cinnamon and vanilla. I miss the sound of his laughter. I miss the feel of his lips against mine. I just miss _him_.

Madge brings the Holo by my room every few days so I can say hello to Peeta, but with how busy he is and how nauseous Madge has become with her pregnancy it doesn't happen that often. And as much as I enjoy being able to see his face and hear his voice for a few minutes, it only serves to remind me that he's far away in District 2 and not here with me.

I flip out one night when Haymitch tries telling me to snap out of it. I yell at him, telling him that the next time he has a newborn baby and has to send his spouse almost a thousand miles away to fight in a stupid war, to let me know. Finnick and Annie are also in the room when I start ranting, but they hasten to leave once Annie starts crying along with Sage. Haymitch scowls at me as he leaves, only to return several minutes later with my mother. She gives me an herbal tincture that's supposed to help with "postpartum blues", along with another lecture that I should be sleeping whenever the baby sleeps. I want to ask her if the tincture will also work against the nightmares that always resurface when Peeta's not here with me, but I manage to bite my tongue.

The long days pass into even longer weeks and my mood improves very little. I love my son, but I'm finding it harder and harder to function on so little continuous sleep. Sage insists on eating at least every ninety minutes or so, sometimes even every hour, and protests loudly when don't get him on the breast fast enough. At two and a half weeks old he's also starting to stay awake for longer periods of time, which means that I can't automatically go to sleep when he's done eating. Prim offers to take him on occasion so I can sleep, but the one time I allowed her to take him for an hour I wasn't able to sleep at all. I felt panicky the whole time, not knowing exactly where he was, so I haven't let her take him again.

Tonight is especially lonely. I can't take being cooped up in the room anymore, so I wrap Sage up on my front and we head out for a walk. It's after lights out time, so there's only a few people out and about in the various hallways as we make our way down to Special Defense. My feet seem to automatically take us there, to the special hummingbird room, one of the few places in this entire district that is colorful and pretty. The night security guard only gives me a passing glance as he buzzes us though. I walk over to one of the trees and run my fingers over the bark. I inhale the sweet smell of the flowers and watch as the tiny hummingbirds flit around, drinking nectar from the brightly colored blossoms. Sage even lifts his head a little and looks around for a few minutes. When his head drops back against my chest and his little eyes close, I lean back against the tree and slide down until I'm sitting on the floor. I close my eyes, remembering when Peeta was here and how much he enjoyed seeing this bright little room in the endless sea of grey.

I wake with a start an hour later when I feel Sage moving around in the wrap. He starts smacking his tiny lips and sucking on his hand, which means that he'll want to eat in the next few minutes. I get up to my feet with some difficulty and walk back to our quarters, pulling Sage out of the wrap just as he starts fussing in earnest. I change his soaking wet diaper and get him latched on as tears slide down my cheeks. Not since my father died have I ever missed someone as much as I miss Peeta right now.

Sage pops off of me once he's done. I burp him, change him again, and gulp down a cup of water. We lay down on the bed, but Sage is restless and doesn't want to sleep. He wants to lay against my knees for a while. Then he wants to pull on my hair. Then he decides that no, he wasn't actually done nursing and starts to fuss, so I latch him on yet again and lay back against the pillows. We repeat this cycle for another two hours before he's able to nurse himself to sleep. I wait until he pops off and lay him down carefully. Then I take my position next to him with my hand protectively over his back.

We end up visiting the hummingbird room again the next night. And the next, and the next, and so on. Almost every night for the next week I wander down there to sit against the trees and watch the birds for an hour or so. It seems to help me even more than my mother's herbal tincture. Sage either naps or watches the birds fly around with me as I daydream about being back in District 12, with our trees and our birds. A place where there's no more Capitol, no more Games, no more Thirteen. Where my family can be safe.

Sage is extra fussy the next night. We've just started getting in new food shipments here in Thirteen, and tonight's dinner was the first one since I've been here where I actually commented out loud that it tasted good. But apparently something new that I ate tonight upset Sage's little tummy, because he doesn't want to quiet down no matter what I try. He wants to eat, but then spits it all back up, only to get hungry again because his stomach is empty and the whole cycle starts over. It takes me well over three hours to get him calm and satisfied enough to fall asleep. After I lay him carefully on the bed I jump in the shower for a few minutes to rinse off the spit-up, then crawl up next to him, absolutely drained.

I'm just drifting off when there's a knock on my door. I grumble as I push myself up onto my elbow. "Who is it?" I call softly. I don't want to have to spend the next who knows how many hours getting Sage back to sleep.

"It's Haymitch," a muffled voice calls from the other side of the door. "I need to come in."

Groaning, I slip off the bed and flip open the locking mechanism. The door slides open to reveal Haymitch looking worried. Instantly I feel my stomach drop.

"What's happened to Peeta?" I ask frantically. It finally hits me that there's no way Haymitch would be here in the middle of the night unless something bad has happened.

"He's alive," Haymitch replies. "But he's been shot. They're on their way back here right now."

"Oh my God," I cry, feeling my knees weaken as I press my palms to my eyes. "How bad is he? When will they be back?"

"I don't know, Sweetheart," Haymitch sighs. He looks almost as exhausted as I feel. "All Rye could tell me is that he's still alive."

The tears spill over my closed eyelids and run down my cheeks. "But Madge told me they'd come up with a plan to destroy the Nut. Who shot him? And why was he anywhere near somewhere where he could be shot in the first place?"

"I said don't know anything, Katniss!" Haymitch says tersely. He scrubs his palm over his weathered face. "They should be back in a couple hours. I've asked the hospital to send someone up here as soon as they arrive. And I'll stay here with you in the meantime. Now, why don't you lie down and try to get some sleep?"

"I'll never be able to sleep now," I mumble. But I climb back up next to Sage on the bed anyway. Haymitch stretches out on the couch and closes his eyes, but I doubt he's able to fall asleep either. Sage wakes up about an hour later wanting to eat again, and I've just switched him to the other side when there's another knock on the door.

Haymitch springs up from the couch and the door slides open to reveal Prim, looking concerned. "Katniss, he's back."

"How bad is he?" I ask as I hastily wind the wrap around my body and slip Sage inside. He protests for a moment over the loss of my nipple in his mouth, but I adjust him so I can nurse him in the wrap and he quiets down once he realizes more food is coming.

Prim shakes her head. "I don't know any more than you do," she says. "He's alive, that's all I know."

We rush down to the hospital, where I don't even notice until we've arrived that I'm barefoot, and still in my pajamas. I spot Gale and Rye standing by the entrance to the intensive care unit.

"Rye!" I call out. I cross the distance over to the two boys with my heart in my throat. "What happened to him?"

Rye shakes his head as Gale clears his throat. "Peeta's gonna be all right, Catn-"

"What happened to him?" I repeat, cutting Gale off.

"I saw it happen almost like it was in slow motion, Katniss," Rye says somberly. "Peeta was talking through his microphone, trying to get through to the people who were shooting at us in the train station. Then he stopped just for a second, I think to rub his eyes, and after I blinked I saw him drop to the ground. He was shot twice, but the armor on his uniform kept the bullets from penetrating him, so it's like he was hit with a sledgehammer instead." He jerks his head towards a room over in the corner. "The doctors have him in that tube thing right now, trying to see how bad the damage is."

I shake my head frantically. "No, no, no. He doesn't like that tube thing," I say. "He gets too anxious in there. I need to go and talk to him."

"He's knocked out, Catnip," Gale says, sounding impatient. "We sedated him on the way home because he was in pain, so he doesn't even know he's in there right now."

"And where were you and Boggs when he got shot? Why weren't you watching him?" I ask Gale. My question hits him like a slap in the face, and he reacts as such.

"Boggs was right there with him, and I didn't think he was in danger where he was standing," Gale answers through clenched teeth. I can see that he's trying really hard not to lose his temper.

"Well obviously you were wrong!" I yell, causing Sage to whimper in the wrap. I turn away from Gale, not wanting to look at him anymore right now, and start bouncing to soothe the baby.

Prim comes out into the hallway about thirty minutes later. "He's in a room now," she says. "We've got him on a morphling drip, so he's still asleep."

"What exactly is wrong with him?" Rye asks.

"He's got three broken ribs, and one of the broken ribs punctured his lung. The punctured lung released air into his chest, which caused the lower part of his lung to collapse. The doctors had to insert a chest tube in order to get the air out of his chest. They also were able to seal the puncture, so for now it looks like it'll be okay and they won't have to remove any part of it."

I've only understood a little of what she's just told me, but I do understand the words 'be okay.' "Can I see him?" I ask quickly.

Prim nods. "His left side is covered in bandages, and he still has the chest tube in there, so be very careful not to pull on it. They hurt quite a bit until they're taken out, so we're going to keep him on the high doses of morphling until we remove it. He most likely won't wake up until we do."

"You know I'll be careful," I reassure her. "Just please let me see him!"

"All right," Prim says, and beckons me to follow her. Peeta's in the same room where Rye was after Gloss choked him. My husband's face is as pale as the stark white color of the hospital sheets and pillow. I can see the chest tube coming out from him under his hospital gown. It's hooked to some sort of suction device, which is emanating a soft hissing sound.

Prim pushes a chair next to Peeta's bed on the right side. "You can touch him," she says. "Just remember not to jostle the chest tube."

I nod my thanks and sit down on the chair. Sage fell asleep earlier once he was done eating, so I adjust the wrap to support his head and lean forward to brush Peeta's hair off his forehead. Then I search under the blanket to find his hand. His hand is unusually cold, and I try to warm it between my own hands before bringing it carefully to my lips.

"You're gonna be fine," I mumble. "Prim says your side is gonna hurt for a while, but you're gonna eventually be okay. But oh my God, Peeta, is there any real way to keep you from getting hurt every time you have to leave me?"

It isn't every time, but it's often enough to make it seem as such. The two leg wounds in our Games, the second of which led to him losing part of his leg. His public flogging by Peacekeeper Thread after our Victory Tour. The horrible infection in his stump when he first arrived here. Then in District 8, his ankle would've been crushed by falling debris during the bombing if it hadn't been fake already. Then Gloss elbowing him in the face after Annie's rescue from the Capitol. Then District 4. And now this. How much longer will it be before I can finally fulfill my old promise to Caesar Flickerman and put Peeta somewhere where he can't get hurt anymore?

I press his cold hand to my lips again. "We never wanted any of this," I whisper, more to myself than to Peeta. "All this was pushed upon us without our permission. We just wanted to be left alone. To take care of each other."

I'm tired. So tired. Not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. I'm tired of my husband, my eighteen-year old, barely of age husband, being expected to rally up the entire country against its tyrannical ruler. I'm tired of being expected to just be okay when he's sent off to some other district with no apparent regard for his safety. I'm tired of having to worry that I'll never see him alive again. I'm tired of being here, in this colorless district with its ugly clothes and ugly food. I'm tired of this war.

Peeta's brow is furrowed in pain. I rub my thumb lightly against it, trying to smooth out the lines. His face relaxes a little with my touch so I keep going, running my fingers all over his face and neck. I lean over to press my lips to his jaw, feeling the slight stubble there. He is eighteen now, but he still looks so much younger when he's asleep. And he's far too young to have the responsibility of an entire country weighing on his shoulders. Even if they are broad and strong shoulders.

"I love you," I whisper in his ear. I scoot my chair as close to his bed as possible and rest my chin next to his neck, being mindful to keep Sage's head supported properly. I start humming lightly, trying to reach his consciousness through the fog of the morphling coursing through him.

 _Just close your eyes, the sun is going down_  
_You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now_  
_Come morning light, you and_ _I'll be safe and sound_

Someday.

Someday those words will be true.

But apparently not today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I was able to portray how isolated a new mom can feel. Please don't hesitate to leave me a comment. They really help me grow as a writer! :)


	21. Threats and Promises

PPOV

_Just close your eyes, the sun is going down._

I hear the words as they drift into my semi-consciousness. It's Katniss's voice, the most beautiful voice I've ever heard. The voice that makes the birds stop to listen. The voice I've been in love with since I was five years old.

_You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now._

That sounds nice, because the entire left side of my body is throbbing something fierce right now.

_Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound._

"Katniss," I mumble. My eyes are still closed, but I can feel her presence next to me.

She squeezes my hand. "I'm here."

I try opening my eyes for a second, but the lights in the room are harsh so I snap them shut with a gasp. "Too bright!"

I hear the flick of a light switch. The hospital must be the only place in Thirteen with lights you can turn on and off at will. "Try again," she says.

My eyes blink open in the softer light and I turn my head to see her face. She looks tired. And angry. And sad. But she's still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. "Hey," I croak out.

Her lower lip starts to quiver. "Hey. How're you feeling?"

I try shifting on the bed, but my prosthetic leg is off so I can't get any leverage and the movement sends shivers of pain lancing through the left side of my body. "Lousy. What happened to me?"

"You were shot, Peeta!" Katniss cries. "In District 2. Someone shot you twice! If Portia hadn't designed your uniform with those extra armor pieces then you'd be lying here dead right now!"

I close my eyes and inhale deeply, sending another jagged bolt of pain through my body. "Well, then I'm really glad that she did."

"This isn't funny, Peeta!" Katniss says severely. "None of this is funny at all!"

"All right, all right," I say softly. I blink and look at her more closely. "Where's the baby?"

Katniss slumps into her chair. "Prim took him about thirty minutes ago, after the doctors took out your chest tube and lowered your dose of morphling. She thought we'd want to be alone when you woke up."

I try and tighten my grip on her hand. "That was nice of her." I shift a little more, wincing against the pain. "Katniss-"

"No," she says, shaking her head. "I don't want to talk about it right now. Just rest. Please, for right now just rest."

I nod my head and close my eyes again. "Okay. Okay." I feel her lips on my cheek and she lays her head down next to mine, resuming her soft singing. I can feel the smile on my face as I fall back asleep.

The next time I wake up Katniss is sitting on the chair feeding Sage. Her head is leaning back against the back of the chair and her eyes are closed. Through my pain-filled haze the baby looks almost twice as big as he was the last time I saw him. "He's gotten so big!" I say in amazement.

Katniss sits up and opens her eyes as she looks down at our son. "Well, he eats so often I'm not surprised he's growing so fast. I've already had to adjust how I fold his diapers, and he's outgrown one of the little shirts that Hazelle gave us already."

I feel a lump forming in my throat at how much I've already missed. "Katniss," I say softly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I haven't been here."

Katniss moves Sage up to her shoulder so she can burp him. "I'm not mad at you," she says. "I think I might've been a little bit, but I'm not anymore." I hear Sage burp loudly and Katniss chuckles before moving him to her other side. She gets him latched on and her face turns serious again. "But I don't think I can do this anymore, Peeta. I can't take you being away from us. I just can't do it. I think we've done enough. All the districts are working together now, and there's only the Capitol left. We can let the professional soldiers take over from here."

She's right. We have done the job we were assigned to do. "Okay," I say. "We can tell Coin and Boggs since all the districts are unified now that our job is finished."

Katniss looks relieved, reaching for my hand. "Thank you."

You'd think with three broken ribs that I'd be allowed to lie around for a few days, but the doctors make me sit up and start moving around two days later. Katniss spends the first night here in the hospital with me, sleeping on the chair next to my bed, but neither she nor Sage sleep very well so I send them back to our quarters the next night. Katniss leaves reluctantly, afraid to leave me alone, and is back in my hospital room with Sage before breakfast time the next day.

We're both finishing our meals when Rye and Gale knock on the door. "Katniss," Gale says. "We need to talk to Peeta for a few minutes. In private."

Katniss's silvery eyes narrow as Rye looks over at Gale. "She's his wife, Gale. She's got a right to know the truth just as much as he does."

"A right to know what?" I ask as I reach for my wife's hand. "Just spit it out, Katniss isn't going anywhere right now."

Gale glares between Katniss and me a couple times. "Fine. I have three things to tell you. Number one," and he turns to look at me. "The camera crew's gonna be down here in an hour to film you. We need to make sure the districts know that you survived the shots you took."

That doesn't sound too awful. "All right."

"Two. As soon as the camera crew is finished you need to come with us for a briefing in Command."

"But he can barely move without severe pain right now!" Katniss exclaims.

"The doctors have some local anesthetic injections they can give him for the pain, Katniss," Rye says. "I've already asked about that."

"Fine," I say. "What's the third thing?"

Gale looks sheepishly between Katniss and me. "This isn't going to easy for either of you to hear."

"Gale, just tell them. They need to know before this meeting," Rye pleads.

Gale exhales loudly and looks down at the floor. "Fine," he says, looking back at me. "After you were shot there in the Square, Boggs fired at the guy who shot you and wounded him. Rye rushed down to move you out of the line of fire while Boggs and I both tried to get the shooter to tell us why he targeted you specifically-"

"What do you mean, he targeted Peeta specifically?" Katniss asks, interrupting Gale. "I thought Peeta was just caught up in some cross fire or something."

Rye shakes his head. "No. The person who shot Peeta was aiming directly for him. He even shot at two of the District 2 citizens first, I think trying to draw our attention away from Peeta."

I feel my blood chill in my veins. Katniss tightens her fingers around my hand. "Do you know who it was?" she asks softly.

"It was a rebel solider," Rye says, spitting the words out. "Boggs and Gale tried to get him to talk. They asked him why in the hell he would try to kill you, but before they could get him to answer, he bit into a secret pocket on the shoulder of his uniform and chomped right into some kind of suicide pill. The only thing they managed to get out of him before he choked to death, was "watch out for her, because she has spies everywhere"."

My mind is swirling. Surely this man misspoke, right? He was most likely some sort of Capitol spy who'd stolen a rebel uniform and was sent by President Snow to kill me. "He probably meant to say 'he', right?" I ask my brother. "I mean, surely he was sent from the Capitol to try and kill me. I'm sure Snow's not too happy with what we've been doing here."

Gale shakes his head. "I disagree," he says firmly. "There was no way I misunderstood him. The shooter specifically said 'she'."

"If he wasn't talking about Snow, or someone else in the Capitol, then who do you think he was talking about?" Katniss demands.

Gale glances nervously around the room. "Um, now that I think about it, I think we should talk about this more another time." He deliberately looks into each corner of the room. "Somewhere else."

Katniss's eyes are as wide as saucers as she follows Gale's gaze. If someone is spying on our conversation I'm sure they've realized now that we're on to them. Katniss always was a terrible actress. I squeeze her hand and her cheek falls against Sage's blond head. "After the meeting maybe?" I ask Rye.

Rye nods, causing Katniss to scowl. "Then I'm coming to that too," she says firmly.

"You weren't invited," Gale says. "And I don't think Coin will want you there."

"Then that's too bad for Coin," Katniss retorts. "Because I'm going. Peeta and I have some things to tell her."

"Not now, though," I say gently as I rub circles with my thumb on her hand. Then I look up at Gale. "Let's get this over with."

The camera crew shows up right on time to film me in my hospital bed. I'm able to sit up and congratulate the districts on their successful battle for unity. Then I warn the Capitol to expect our armies soon.

After that the doctors come in to administer the pain-killing injections, which hurt even worse going in than my broken ribs, but then numb the area to the point where I have to be careful not to brush my arm too hard across the bandages and possibly misalign the broken pieces of bone. Katniss allows me to hold Sage for a few minutes once I'm completely numbed up. She places him in my right arm and his slate-grey eyes stare up at me, like he's trying to figure out who I am. It's heart-wrenching. Especially since I was practically the only person holding him for the first couple days of his life.

I look over at Katniss. "I'm not leaving you two anymore." I look back down at my son and kiss his forehead. "He doesn't even remember me. That's not okay with me, Katniss. I'm not going to leave you anymore. I don't want my son to have to get to know me all over again every time I come back."

"I don't want that either," Katniss says. Gale appears in the doorway then, ready to escort us to Command. Katniss picks the baby back up and slides him into the wrap so she can attach my prosthesis and help me stand up. "So let's go and tell them that."

Coin's eyes narrow and her lips purse when she sees Katniss walk into Command next to Gale and me. "I don't recall you being invited to this briefing, Miss Everdeen," she says coldly.

"That's not my name," Katniss replies, her voice just as cold. "And I'm here with my husband, whether you like it or not."

Coin glares at her but doesn't say anything as Plutarch, Boggs, Rye, Madge, Beetee, Finnick, Johanna, and the camera crew filter into the room.

"All right," Coin begins. "Now that District 2 has allied with us, were taking a short break to regroup and get our forces ready for the Capitol invasion. We are currently working on fortifying our supply lines and reorganizing our troops. Commander Paylor estimates that it will be four weeks before our invasion force is ready." She nods at Plutarch to continue.

"Right now the Capitol is completely cut off from its enemies, but that also means it's cut off from its supply lines as well," he says with that ever-present smirk on his face. "The city might be able to scrape along for a while, but you can be sure that they do not have adequate supplies stockpiled to sustain their population for very long. So if we wait for a little while, there may not be that much fighting before it's all over."

"That's a good thing though, right?" Rye asks from his seat next to his wife. "I mean, you don't want people to have to fight, and possibly die, if they don't have to. Right?"

Coin smiles slightly at him, like she's amused. "Yes, that's correct. But it is still a war, and most likely people will die. But that's not why I called you here." Her cold grey eyes meet my own. "I've called you here to discuss your assignments for when our forces are ready to invade."

"Peeta and I want to talk about that also," Katniss says, her voice low and even as Sage is sleeping against her chest.

Coin raises her eyebrows. "Oh?"

"Yes," I say. "I can't imagine how I'll be of much use for the Capitol invasion. I'm not really a soldier, I'm not that great with a gun or a rifle, and since I've completed my task of unifying the districts, it doesn't seem necessary for me to have to go to the Capitol at all."

Coin leans back in her chair and smirks. "Oh you think so? You think your Mockingjay duties are complete just because you were injured? Well, I say no. I say that we still require your, leadership, as the figurehead of this revolution."

"But-" Katniss starts to say, but she's interrupted by Plutarch.

"We're putting together a separate group, a Star Squad, if you will. It will be the on-screen faces of the revolution. It'll be behind the front lines by a couple of days, so it won't be as dangerous as real combat. It will be composed of Peeta, Finnick, Gale, Johanna, Rye, and a few other soldiers with Boggs as the commanding officer."

"Now wait just a minute!" Gale says angrily. "I've trained for combat, and now you're telling me I won't be in actual combat?"

"You'll do whatever's asked of you," Boggs says. "Is that understood, Solider Hawthorne?"

Gale immediately looks chagrined. "Yes sir."

"But if you have people who actually want to fight then why do you need me?" I say.

"Because you're the person everyone's come to know as the leader of the revolution," Plutarch says. "It would look rather odd now if you weren't part of the forces in the Capitol after everything you've accomplished up to this point."

"I don't care if it looks odd," Katniss says, a little louder now. "Peeta's done enough, and he's been hurt multiple times. Who is really going to care about watching TV when we're fighting a war?"

"Propaganda is an important part of any war," Plutarch says. "History tells us that. Morale can be greatly influenced in either direction by one simple news story, or the playing of a certain song. Why do you think that hundreds of years ago people used to send music and movie stars to visit the troops fighting in the various wars? It was to cheer them up. To improve morale along the front lines. That's what Peeta will be doing. He and Finnick and Johanna are our celebrities."

My heart is thumping as I look around the room. Johanna is smirking. Finnick looks determined. Gale still looks mad. I can understand what Plutarch is saying, and understand how it is important. But I can't leave my family again. "No. I won't do it," I say. "If Finnick and Johanna want to, then fine. But I've done enough. I want to stay here with my family."

Spots of pink appear on Coin's hollow cheeks as she looks at me. "I don't recall giving you a choice in this manner. You and Miss Everdeen both agreed to become our Mockingjays several months ago, and I still require your services. So, Mr. Mellark, if you refuse, then I will have no choice but to send Miss Everd-, that is, your wife, out to the Capitol in your place. In fact, it might be better if she were to go, since the people are used to you now. She could have an even greater effect on rallying the troops since she hasn't been seen for a while. And we'd no longer have to be concerned with concealing a pregnancy."

Panic flashes through me, causing me to gasp. This is like the Quell announcement all over again. "You wouldn't do that!" I say, horrified. "She can't leave the baby, and you know it!"

"Do I?" Coin retorts. "There's not a single thing your wife does for that child that can't be accomplished by someone else."

"She's his mother!" I yell. "It's absolutely ridiculous to think that she can be replaced like that!" I look over at Katniss. She looks terrified, her arms wrapped around our sleeping son like she's afraid he'll be snatched away from her. Hot tears sting my eyes as I squeeze her arm in reassurance.

"Katniss won't be going anywhere," I say through gritted teeth. "So if that's how it's gonna be, I guess you're stuck with me."

"Peeta, no!" Katniss cries. "You said you'd stay with us! You said you wouldn't leave us again!" She turns to look at Coin. "Why does he have to go? He's done so much for you already! Are you trying to get him killed?"

"You'll all receive word tomorrow morning on when you're to begin training," Coin says, ignoring Katniss's pleas. "That concludes this briefing." She stands up from her chair and exits the room with Plutarch as the rest of the people remain behind with stunned looks on their faces.

"Peeta," Beetee says quietly. "I know this must be hard on you both, but you should know-"

I raise my hand to cut him off. "Don't. There's nothing anyone could say right now that could make this any better."

Beetee sighs, nodding his head. He wheels himself out of the room, followed by everyone else, until Katniss and I are the only ones left. As soon as I meet her eyes she starts to cry.

"Peeta, she's trying to get you killed!" she sobs, her arms still locked around our baby as he sleeps against her. "She doesn't care at all about us. She only cares about winning this war, no matter what the costs!"

I get slowly to my feet so I can help her stand up. "Shh," I say as I wrap my right arm around her. My left side is still mostly numb, but I can feel some pain starting to return under the bandaged area. "I couldn't let her send you away. Sage needs you."

"We both need you!" she says. Her tears are wetting through my shirt. "I can't bear the thought of losing you."

"You're not going to lose me," I say quietly, even as our earlier conversation with my brother and Gale comes to mind. "Rye will make sure nothing happens to me."

"There's no way you can be sure of that," Katniss sniffs into my chest. I try to wrap my left arm around her and jump from the pain as her body hits my bandages. Katniss immediately moves away, scrubbing the tears from her face. "We should get you back to the hospital."

We make it back to my hospital room as the last of the numbness wears off, and I have to clench my teeth against the pain as Katniss helps me lay back down on the bed. Prim comes in with some pain pills for me to take and says that I can be discharged later this afternoon, if I promise to follow the physical therapist's instructions on what I should and shouldn't be doing while my ribs heal back together.

I look at Katniss, who's resumed her position on the chair after changing Sage's diaper. The pain pills have made me feel both tired and loopy, like I've had a couple gulps of Haymitch's white liquor. I watch as she latches Sage onto her breast with what I'm sure is a stupid-looking grin on my face.

Katniss glances down on me, no doubt feeling my gaze upon her. "What?"

I chuckle, as much as I can without breathing too deep. "I was just thinking. If you'd told me two years ago that I'd get to see you sitting here, feeding our baby while I lie here drugged up on pain meds and trying to catch a glimpse of your boob, I probably would've laughed. Or cried. One of the two at least. Or maybe both. Probably both."

Katniss raises her eyebrows and shakes her head, but there's a hint of a smile on her beautiful full lips. "Go to sleep, Peeta. You're loopy."

"Yeah, I think so," I mumble as I close my eyes. "But I still love you."

She reaches forward to brush my hair off my forehead. "I love you too. Now go to sleep."

"Hmph," I say. "Did ya hear that? Katniss says she loves me. Better tell that to the Hawthorne guy..."

It's after lunchtime by the time I wake up. Katniss helps me sit up so I can eat, and the physical therapist comes in my room once I'm done. He gives me exercises to do and tells me that I should be up and about as normally as possible to make sure the healing bones get enough blood circulation. Then he helps the doctors re-bandage my side. The bruising under the bandages is quite impressive, covering my entire side from my abs to my pectoral muscle and all shades of black, blue, and purple. They wrap the bandage around me so tight that it's hard to breathe and then discharge me, giving me some more of the pain pills in a little bottle for me to take as I need them.

Katniss holds my arm as we walk slowly back to our compartment. She helps me onto the couch and we cuddle for a while, trying to forget about this Capitol mission looming over our heads. Trying to forget about spies, and presidents, and wars. We play with the baby and look through my family's recipe book. She points out a few things that she wants me to make for her once we get our bakery built back in Twelve. All three of us take a short nap before dinner. It's a nice afternoon and evening, even with the pain and shortness of breath from my broken ribs.

Katniss has just managed to help me up onto the bed for lights out time when there's a knock at the door. "Who is it?" Katniss calls out.

"It's Boggs. I need to talk to you both."

Katniss tightens her grip on Sage as she unlocks the door. Boggs steps into the room, looking around awkwardly for a few seconds before walking over to me lying on the bed.

"I'm sorry to bother you," he says quietly. "But there's something you both need to hear." He reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls out a small, square-shaped device, pressing a button and holding it up for my inspection. "You've seen one of these before, correct?"

I feel a lump forming in my throat as I study the device in his hand. It's nearly identical to the "music chip" that Haymitch had back before the Quell started. The kind of music chip that disables any bugs in a room for three minutes.

"Yes," I answer. "But why do you have one? Unless...". I push myself painfully up onto my elbow. "Are you trying to tell me that we're in danger? That my wife and son are in danger here?"

I hear Katniss gasp. "What do you mean?"

Boggs stares at me for a few seconds. "I wish I could tell you no," he says. "But I can't do that." There's an angry edge to his deep voice that I've never heard before. "Here's what I do know. The president doesn't like either one of you. She feels threatened by you both, and she doesn't like feeling threatened by anyone."

"So she tried to have Peeta killed in District 2?!" Katniss exclaims. "That rebel who shot him was acting on her orders?"

Boggs nods. "It looks that way. I didn't want to believe it at first, but there's been evidence accumulating for months now."

"But why?" I ask. "She must know that neither of us plan to stay here after the war! All we want is to go home!"

"You managed to unify all of the districts, Peeta. Something that was once considered impossible, yet you did it. You forced her to rescue Annie from the Capitol. Like it or not, you have a lot of influence over the people right now. And you don't think that she might be worried about how much influence you'll have once this war is over? They've promised a free election once we've taken down the Capitol."

"But Katniss and I just want to go home!" I repeat. "Neither of us want to be a leader."

"Yes, but everyone will ask who you would support. People value your opinions. Would you support President Coin? If your immediate answer isn't yes, then she considers you a threat."

"So she'd kill Peeta to get him out of the way?" Katniss asks.

"She doesn't need either of you as rallying points anymore. And if Peeta was killed, she could use his death as a new way to add fire to the rebellion."

"Then Peeta shouldn't be going to the Capitol!" Katniss says. "He doesn't want to go!"

"He could very well be in more danger if he stays," Boggs replies. "Right now you both are easier to protect if you're apart."

"But-" Katniss starts.

"Katniss, please understand. I'm not going to let anything happen to Peeta," Boggs interrupts. He turns to look straight at me. "You have my word that I will guard your life with my own, the entire time we're in the Capitol."

"But what about Katniss and Sage?" I say. "No one will be here to guard them except for Haymitch and Beetee!"

"I'm having two of my most trusted soldiers stay behind to guard Katniss and the baby. They will have made-up medical reasons for not going to the Capitol. And they will make sure that Katniss and Sage are kept safe."

"Why would you do that?" Katniss asks. "You don't owe us anything."

"Because it's the right thing to do," Boggs replies. "And because you've earned it."

"And you're absolutely sure you can trust these soldiers of yours to watch Katniss and Sage?" I ask him. "Because there's no way I'm leaving unless I know they'll be absolutely safe. I don't care what Coin says."

"I'd trust these soldiers with my own life," Boggs says. "They will be perfectly safe. Beetee and Haymitch have already been briefed on the situation as well, so they will be keeping their eyes open for any suspicious activity and will report it to me immediately."

Katniss nods, standing next to the bed with Sage in her arms and a stunned look on her face. "Thank you, Boggs, for telling us."

Boggs glances up at the clock and turns off his signal jammer. "You will start training for our Capitol invasion in four days," he says. "Rest and heal until then. The training will be intense, more intense than you're used to. And there will be a lot of meetings to discuss strategies in between the training sessions, so enjoy these next few days with your family. Because once we begin, we won't stop until the war is over."

I look at him, at this man who's just promised to guard my life with his own, to protect my wife and child even more than his own family, and nod.

"Yes sir."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a pretty heavy chapter, actually most of this story is pretty heavy, so I try to put some lighter moments in when I can. Hopefully it worked well. 
> 
> Please don't hesitate to comment! I really do appreciate them! ❤


	22. Preparing for the Capitol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted a one-shot yesterday called The First Smile. It was originally posted on tumblr around Valentines Day for the Love in Panem Love Is... prompt. There's a small snippet of it in this chapter, but please check it out if you have a chance. It's pretty sweet, and our favorite couple needs some sweetness. ❤

KPOV

Boggs was true to his words. Four days after he came to our compartment with his special music chip, Peeta's tattooed schedule reveals his new routine of training and meetings. His ribs are nowhere near completely healed yet, so he's given modified exercises to do until they do heal, but even with the modifications the training is intense. Five-mile runs outside over uneven terrain. Assembling and disassembling various pistols and rifles. Shooting with his bow and arrows. The Simulated Street Combat block, where the street's rigged with land mines, the sound of crying children to lead you into an ambush, or your squadron leader gets killed, forcing you to take over. There's even soldiers dressed as Peacekeepers to make it feel more real.

Peeta's gone at least twelve hours a day between training sessions and meetings to discuss tactics and strategies. Sage and I see him in the morning for breakfast and then he's not usually back again until after dinner. Most days I wrap Sage up and we go watch them train to get out of the compartment for a while. Peeta, Gale, Finnick, Johanna, and Rye. Oftentimes I feel sad and guilty that I'm not training with them. That I'm not going with my husband and our friends to help with this mission. That I won't be able to help protect Peeta once he leaves. I cling tightly to Boggs' promise that he will guard Peeta with his own life. But what if something happens to Boggs? I know Rye would protect Peeta, but at the expense of his own life? I don't know if his brotherly love would extend that far when Rye has a wife of his own and a child on the way. And Gale? Who knows about Gale. The only person he seems to want to protect lately is Johanna. Like she needs protecting.

The camera crew uses the old footage of me training to make new propos, mixing it in with the current footage of the Victors training along with the other soldiers. Everything is filmed, from the strategy meetings and Block sessions to the quick kisses Peeta steals from me when he catches me watching him. Sage is edited out of any finished products, still trying to maintain the illusion that he doesn't exist, although if the Capitol has any sort of spy network it's pretty much a given that Snow is aware of our baby by now.

Peeta and I are both so exhausted at the end of each day that it's all we can do to hug and kiss each other goodnight. I massage Peeta's bad leg as much as I'm able to, trying to keep his skin as healthy as possible since he's never able to remove his prosthesis for any length of time when he's gone. He also spends as much time holding and playing with Sage as he can, determined that his son will know who he is before he has to leave again. He even offers to help me during the night when Sage wakes up or is fussy, but I'm afraid if Peeta doesn't get enough rest that he won't heal properly, and I want him to be in as good a shape as possible for the Capitol mission. So I make him go back to sleep, even if it means taking Sage back down to the hummingbird room in the middle of the night so Peeta can sleep in peace.

I feel like almost a new person though after Sage decides to sleep for a four-hour stretch for the very first time one evening when I'm just about at the end of my rope. After a particularly bad day, Peeta takes him for a while to watch his Uncle Rye play chess and insists that I use the time to sleep. I wake up four hours later with my breasts ready to explode to find Peeta and Sage snoozing together on the couch, Sage tucked up safely against Peeta's chest in the wrap. Sage rewards us even more a few minutes later with his very first smile, the first time in my entire mothering experience where I truly feel like all my efforts to this point are finally being acknowledged by him.

Every night after that Sage sleeps for two three to four-hour stretches and another one or two-hour stretch before waking for the day. Slowly, the feeling of only being half-alive since he was born is worn away, leaving me feeling better than I have in weeks. There is something almost too precious for words about waking up somewhat refreshed, snuggled up tight between my husband and my baby.

But that good feeling ebbs away almost as soon as it arrives as the days grow closer to Peeta's departure, until it's the night before and I'm sitting on the couch in my pajamas, leaning against my shirtless husband while our son nurses to sleep. Peeta had his final exam for combat readiness this afternoon, followed by a physical to make sure he was healed enough to go to the Capitol. Sage and I watched Peeta's Block section, the only part of the four-component test that he didn't pass. I shiver a little as I remember it. The Block is designed to target and exploit a person's weaknesses, so for Peeta all they had to do was have a recording of my voice screaming his name, and he immediately broke off from his mission and went looking for me. Just like I did with the jabberjays during the Quell. It was cruel, and no doubt something that Coin thought up. Unfortunately or not, it wasn't enough for him to not have to leave tomorrow.

I snuggle closer to Peeta as Sage's little eyes flutter closed and his suckling slows. A few minutes later, Sage releases my nipple from his mouth and I prop him up against my chest to burp him. Peeta starts nuzzling my neck almost immediately.

"Did you have your appointment today with your mother?" he asks.

I feel my face flush as the hidden meaning of his words washes over me. My mom had told me we would have to wait to have sex again until my postpartum appointment, to make sure that I had healed properly from giving birth. "Yes."

His lips graze my neck, under my earlobe. "And?"

I feel the warmth from his touch spreading down over my neck and into my chest. "She said everything's fine," I mumble. "She said that I'm fine. That we... we'd be fine."

Peeta hears the hesitation in my voice and sits up to look at me. "Katniss, if you're not ready yet, I understand. You know I understand."

Fear grips me then, almost a panic. I can't imagine sending him off to fight in the Capitol without making love to him one more time. "No!" I say. "That's not it. I want to, it's just..."

Peeta hoists himself up from the couch, reaching a hand down to help me stand up, still holding Sage in my arms. He wraps his strong arms around us both and my head drops onto his chest. "What is it?"

I look up into his eyes and take a shaky breath. "I'm afraid you won't like what you see," I say. "My body is different now, and-"

I'm cut off by his lips claiming my own. The kiss is sweet and lingering.

"Katniss," he whispers when he breaks away. His voice is soothing as his hands run up and down my back. His lips travel from my mouth up to my ear. "If you think for one moment that I don't still think you're the sexiest woman I've ever seen, then you couldn't be more wrong."

My entire body shudders at his words. "You do?"

Instead of answering me Peeta pulls one of the couch cushions off and drops it onto the floor. He gently lifts our sleeping son from my arms and places him on top of the cushion. He lays the soft muslin blanket over Sage's back and crouches down to kiss his cheek. Then he stands back up and wraps his arms around my waist. He pulls my body flush against him, where I can feel his erection pressing hard into my pelvis.

"Do you feel that?" he whispers.

My breath gets stuck in my throat. "Uh huh."

"Don't you ever think I don't want you," he mumbles against my neck. "I always want you. These last six weeks have been so hard for me."

I look down at our baby sleeping on top of the couch cushion, unsure about leaving my son to sleep on the floor before I feel Peeta's fingers on my chin, turning my face back to look at him. "He'll be okay for a little while, Katniss. Just until we're finished, then I'll put him back on the bed with us. Okay?"

His eyes are hooded, his pupils fat and covering most of the blue. "Okay," I tell him.

A noise that can only be described as a growling moan escapes from Peeta's throat as he crushes his lips to mine. His tongue slips into my mouth and his hands slide under my pajama top, pushing it up and over my breasts before he breaks our kiss to tug it over my head. Our lips join together as soon as he's tossed it aside, his strong arms holding me tight against him, the feel of our bare chests connecting so exotic after all this time. I run my palms over his heavily muscled arms and up to his shoulders before threading my fingers into his thick blond hair. I break our kiss to catch my breath, but his lips keep moving, across my jaw, down my neck to my collarbone and back up, finding my pulse point where he gently sucks until my knees buckle. " _Peeta_."

"I have missed you saying my name like that," he whispers. His arms tighten around me as he picks me up, placing me tenderly on the bed. He clambers up next to me and hovers for a few seconds as his eyes travel over my body. I resist the urge to cross my arms in front of my chest, still self-conscious of my postpartum figure. Peeta must sense my hesitation because his fingers trail slowly up my scarred arms, across the scars on my chest and down over my sternum before gliding back up to carefully palm my breasts.

"You're so gorgeous," he says in amazement, licking his lips. His fingers graze gently over my nipples before trailing down to the waistband of my pajama pants. He slides them down, throwing them at the foot of the bed. My underwear quickly follows as I close my eyes, hearing him gasp. "So fucking gorgeous."

I hear him move down towards my feet and then feel his lips on each of my ankles, moving up my legs slowly, an inch at a time, my body growing hotter and more flushed with each press of his lips. "So beautiful," he mumbles as his lips and tongue lavish my skin. By the time his lips reach my neck and his hand moves to caress my cheek, I'm a panting, trembling mess. "Katniss, look at me."

My eyes open to see his shining blue eyes, wracked with lust. I stare into them for what seems like an eternity before finding my voice. "Peeta," I whisper, mesmerized by the intensity of his gaze. "Will you kiss me?"

He smiles as he lays down on top of me, pressing me down into the mattress. "You don't have to ask me," he says as his lips meet mine. Our mouths move together, tongues teasing and tasting. He props himself up on his forearms as he reaches between us to cover my breast with his hand, careful not to squeeze too hard, his other hand reaching underneath me to press my center into his still-covered erection.

"Peeta!" I say as his warm tongue flicks over my sensitive nipple before his lips close over it and suck gently, causing a bolt of fiery pleasure to shoot through my body as he kisses across my chest to my other breast. My fingers tug on his blond curls, my fingernails scraping gently across the back of his neck.

"You're mine," he whispers as he releases my nipple with a soft pop. "You're my wife, the mother of my son. You're my Katniss, and I love you."

"Yes," I breathe. "Yes, I'm yours." My breaths are hitching as his hand slides down my stomach to my inner thigh, pressing two fingers against my center and moaning at the wetness he feels there. "I'm yours," I say a little louder as his fingers slip easily inside me and he moans again.

"You feel so good, love. So, so good. You're so beautiful it almost hurts!"

"Peeta!" My breaths are short and gasping now as his fingers trace though my slick folds. I had expected to feel pain, or at least some discomfort down there, but Peeta has always known how to touch me. He's always known just what to do to make sure I'm completely ready for him. He's always so patient with me, and this time even more tender than he was for our first time. Because it is a first time of sorts.

"I want to feel you come, my love," he whispers in my ear. His lips plant open mouth kisses on my neck as his fingers slide back inside me and start to move. My back arches off the bed when his thumb finds my swollen bundle of nerves, circling it only twice before my eyes squeeze shut and my body shatters, the pleasure coursing through me in waves so high and strong that I cry out before Peeta's able to cover my mouth with his, swallowing the rest of my stuttered cries, his fingers coaxing every ounce of my climax out of me until it becomes too much and I snap my legs closed. He withdraws his hand, his lips still slanting against mine, his tongue teasing my own. I reach for the waistband of his shorts and fumble, my limbs still shaky as I try to pull them down over his hips. Peeta sits up briefly to pull them all the way off and then lays down on his side next to me, pressing his hard cock into my thigh.

"Katniss!" he growls as I wrap my hand around his length. His head drops against my chest as I squeeze gently, rubbing my thumb over his tip. I want to make him feel as wonderful as he's made me feel, but after only a couple of strokes he grabs my wrist and moves my hand away from him.

"I won't last at all if you do that. It's been too long," he rasps. His eyes are the color of sapphires as he tucks a stray hair behind my ear. "Are you ready?"

I pull him down on top of me, his legs settling in between my thighs. I can feel his hard length pressing into my center. I lace my fingers through his curls and pull his head down for a kiss. Peeta takes that as permission and starts to push in slowly, so slowly, moving in an inch or so and then pulling back. There's no pain like I feared since he's so gentle. I can feel the tension in his neck and shoulders as he tries to hold himself together long enough to make sure I'm completely comfortable. Once he's completely sheathed inside me he collapses on top of me, his heavy breaths hot against my neck.

"I just... I just need a minute," he says, his voice gravelly. "You feel too good."

I raise my knees up and press them against him, being careful of his still tender ribs on his left side. His hand wraps around my left ankle, bringing my leg up to circle his waist, his other hand interlocking with mine and pressing it into the mattress by my head. I tentatively rock my hips up into him and he hisses. "Katniss. I love you."

A single tear slides down his cheek. I raise my head and kiss it away. "It's okay. I love you too. We'll be okay."

"I don't know how I'm gonna be able to leave you tomorrow!" he cries as he pulls back once before thrusting gently back in. I tighten my fingers around his and kiss the second tear as it falls.

"Don't think about it now. Just feel," I whisper, because I don't want to think about it right now either. I raise my hips up against him again. "Just feel me. I love you. Feel how much I love you."

"Oh God. I can feel it," he murmurs. "I can feel all of it." Then he starts to move, and I whimper as I feel the pleasure start to coil low in my belly.

"Peeta. My Peeta," I say in between running my lips over his strong neck and shoulders. My hand trails down over his arm and and back up again, feeling the solid muscles beneath my fingers. Holding me, protecting me, loving me.

" _Katniss_ ," he says in a pained voice. His head snaps up so he can look into my eyes. His eyes are glazed, the pupils nearly covering all of the blue. "Look at me. I want to remember this moment when I'm away from you."

I can only nod, keeping my eyes locked on his as his thrusts get harder and stronger. He catches his bottom lip between his teeth. "Keep looking at me! Don't look away from me!"

"I love you!" I cry as I stare into his beautiful eyes, so dark I can see myself reflecting in them as we move together. "I love you!"

"I can't-," he says as his eyes squeeze closed. His hand moves down and slides under my hip, pressing me against him until the coil in my belly snaps and I feel myself arching even higher as my walls clench and flutter around him. His thrusts change from rhythmic to erratic and he comes with a loud cry a few seconds later. As the warmth from his release rushes into me, I feel a brief but sharp stab of fear before I remember my mother telling me that it would be unlikely for me to get pregnant again so soon, since Sage is so little and nursing so frequently.

Peeta buries his face into my neck, his chest shuddering against me as he peppers my neck and shoulder with kisses. I trace my fingertips over the various scars on his back, trying to commit the feel of every part of him into my memory so I can remember this night tomorrow, when I'm alone. He raises his head a few minutes later, his blue eyes glistening with tears.

"Shh," I whisper as I rub my thumbs over his cheekbones. "Just kiss me. Don't think yet."

His lips move down to touch my own, the kiss as tender and passionate as our lovemaking. Then he rolls off of me and wraps me in his arms, inhaling the scent of my hair as I lay my head down on his chest, pressing kisses to it every few seconds, trying to absorb every bit of him that I can.

A shaky inhale from the floor startles us both, and I roll over quickly to peek over the edge of the bed. Sage has just turned his head to the other side, but Peeta sits up, pressing a kiss to my temple as he slides off the bed and pulls his shorts back on. He retreats to the bathroom, bringing a warm washcloth to clean me up before handing me my pajamas. I slide them on as Peeta's large hands effortlessly pick up our son and lay him back down in his usual position next to me. Then he removes his prosthesis and crawls back up onto the bed. He pulls me against his chest, with his arm draped over my waist and his hand resting on Sage's back, reaching from his little yet broad shoulders all the way down to the waistband of his diaper cover. He adjusts the blankets over all three of us and kisses me on the cheek. "This is my family," he murmurs. "And I love you."

Sage wakes up hungry around three hours later, blessedly falling right back to sleep when he's finished before waking up for good when Peeta's alarm goes off at 0700. I change and feed him while Peeta showers and dresses, then Peeta holds Sage while I do the same. I slide Sage into the wrap and hold Peeta's hand on the walk down to the hangar. Gale and Boggs are already there, having said goodbye to their families already. Finnick and Annie show up a few minutes later, followed shortly by Rye and Madge. I don't see Johanna so I assume she's already on board the hovercraft. After I give Rye, Gale, and Finnick a quick farewell hug, Peeta walks us over by the wing of the hovercraft so we can say goodbye alone. I pop Sage out of the wrap so Peeta can hold him one last time, my heart soaring when Sage gives his daddy one of his now signature toothless grins.

"Don't grow up too much while I'm gone, okay little guy?" Peeta coos to him. Sage responds with another smile and a couple swats at Peeta's nose as Peeta kisses his cheek over and over.

Then he hands the baby back to me and tilts my chin up to look at him. I try to keep my bottom lip from quivering, but it still trembles against Peeta's lips as he kisses me. He wraps his arms around us both and I snuggle into him, dreading the time I'll have to let him go.

"It's time for wheels up!" Boggs calls from around the corner. I send a silent thank you to him for allowing us to have these couple of minutes to ourselves. I kiss Peeta's neck and jaw and inhale deeply against him, trying to trap the smell of him deep into my being so there's no way I'll be able to forget it.

"I love you both," Peeta whispers. "And I'll be back soon."

 _Please don't cry_ , _please don't cry, please don't let me cry_ , I repeat over and over in my head as our lips meet for one final kiss. "We both love you. So you make sure and come back to us, because we're not a family without you."

Peeta's arms tighten around us both one final time before releasing us and kissing me on the forehead. "I will come back, Katniss."

Then he takes my hand and leads us back to the platform, where Madge and Annie are both waving to their husbands with tears streaming down their faces. Madge grasps my hand as Peeta joins Finnick and his brother on the hovercraft, waving one last time before the platform closes and the engines start to roar. I cover Sage's ears against the noise as we watch the hovercraft lift up and take off through the open doors of the hangar.

"Please come back to us," I whisper as I watch it fly away until it's out of my sight. It hits me then that this is just like the Quarter Quell but in reverse, with Peeta being shipped off to the Capitol this time to fight in another arena instead of me.

I pray that the odds are in our favor, for once, with him going into the Capitol, where who knows what kind of horrors will be waiting for him and the rest of his squad. Because if there's anything I've learned in our time in Thirteen, it's that I can't live without him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! It's time for the push into the Capitol! Are you ready?
> 
> Please don't forget to comment! ❤


	23. The Battle of the Capitol

PPOV

The ride out to the Capitol is uneventful. No one talks very much. Not even Rye, who looks to be on the verge of tears almost the whole time. With him looking like he'll lose it any second I try to keep myself together, not wanting Boggs to think that his job commanding our odd group is going to be harder than it already is. Johanna isn't here, and when I work up the nerve to ask Gale about her, he tells me that she failed the medical part of her readiness exam and so was barred from going to the Capitol. I can only imagine how well she took that news.

We actually land in District 2 instead of the Capitol, where a makeshift camp and transportation area has been set up. We meet up with Commander Paylor and the rest of the invasion force there, participate in a few last-minute strategy meetings, and spend the rest of the time practicing with our weapons. Our squad is heavy on the sharpshooters, with even Rye demonstrating remarkable accuracy over both long and short distances. Along with Finnick and Gale, the squad includes Jackson, the middle-aged woman who taught one of the initial combat training courses back in Thirteen, and is Boggs' second in command. There's also a blonde-haired woman in her twenties named Leeg and an older guy named Homes, who also serves as our field medic. The entire camera crew is also an official part of the Star Squad, having had enough training in firing rifles and pistols to be considered useful.

After three or four days we're all loaded into a cargo train, packed to the limit with soldiers dressed in dark grey uniforms, and transported to the outskirts of the Capitol. We walk the rest of the way to the train station, which I remember vividly from my Games. Back then the station was crawling with excited Capitolites, all trying to catch a glimpse of the latest Hunger Games tributes. This time, there's no one to greet us except more soldiers.

We pitch our tents in the spot assigned to our squad. I hear from some of the other soldiers that this area has been secure for about a week, with the Capitol forces falling back and regrouping further into the city. Once everyone's tent is finished, Boggs calls all of us into a group, his Holo resting atop a weapons crate and projecting a glowing map of the city.

"Squad 451," he begins in his deep voice. "Gather 'round." We file into a sort of circle around the glowing map, our eyes fixed on the bright red dots that litter over the entirety of the projected image.

"Listen carefully," Boggs continues. "Even though we will mainly be working on abandoned streets miles behind the front lines, I can guarantee you that it will not be free of danger. Each of these red dots indicate what is called a pod. These pods represent obstacles and other challenges, developed by Gamemakers, and designed to make sport of our deaths."

I feel my heart start to pound through the heavy chestplate of my uniform. I look over at Finnick, who's standing next to me, at the same time he looks at me. His eyebrows raise as he chuckles, but I can see the fear and trepidation in his green eyes. He's thinking exactly what I'm thinking.

Boggs clears his throat and I immediately turn my attention back to him. "Each of these pods represent a different obstacle, the nature of which could be anything from a trap to a bomb to a band of mutts. But make no mistake, each of these are designed to kill you. We will also very likely encounter Peacekeepers along our route, since many of you," and he pauses to sweep his eyes over Rye, Finnick, and me, "are high-value targets for the Capitol. Because of that, and because we do not want the enemy to know that we have this information, we have built an auto-destruct into the Holo. If you say the word 'nightlock' three times within fifteen seconds, the device will blow, along with everything else within a thirty-foot radius."

There's a moment of silence as we all study the image. The pods are so numerous that in some places the dots even overlap. I feel Finnick move closer to me, because it's obvious to him as well. This is an arena. Laced with pods, designed and controlled by Gamemakers.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Finnick says in a loud whisper. "Welcome to the Seventy-Sixth Hunger Games!"

I think he means it to be funny, but no one laughs. I guess only a Victor would have a morbid sense of humor like that. "Well then," I say. "I guess Finnick and I are going to be your best equipped soldiers out here." That earns me a sharp elbow to my side from my brother. At least it's not the same side as my previously broken ribs.

We retreat back to our tents. One of the soldiers asks about possible hoverplane bombings, since we're right out here in the open, but Boggs says it's not an issue. Most of the Capitol's air fleet was destroyed in the Nut, or during the invasion. If Snow has any craft left, he's probably holding onto them to make a quick escape once the time comes. Our own hoverplanes were grounded after the Capitol's antiaircraft missiles decimated the first few waves. This war will be battled out on the streets, with hopefully only superficial damage to the infrastructure and a minimum of human casualties. The rebels want the Capitol left as intact as possible.

The next three days are relatively calm, if you can call being in an active war zone in any way, calm. I'm able to talk to Katniss and Sage a couple of times. Cressida and her team take shots of us firing at already damaged or destroyed buildings, shooting colored glass out of windows so that the Capitol doesn't figure out that we have the Holo information on the active pods. They end up intercutting this footage with the destruction of real targets to make our propos, which are then edited and shown throughout the Capitol and in every district. I have to reassure Katniss over and over every time I speak with her that I'm in as little danger as possible, as apparently the propos are quite realistic in their portrayal of the war.

The morning of the fourth day starts out in much of the same way. We shoot more rainbow colored glass off some buildings. We advance a couple of miles and shoot some more glass. It's the same old, same old, until Soldier Leeg hits a mislabeled pod. It doesn't unleash a swarm of muttation insects, which we were prepared for, but instead shoots out a sunburst of metal darts. One imbeds itself deep into her skull, and she's gone before Homes can reach her. Boggs reports her death to Thirteen via the Holo, and Coin promises a speedy replacement.

The following evening I nearly choke on a gulp of water as the newest member of our squad arrives. It's Soldier Leeg, or at least a woman who looks exactly like her. I'm about ready to call her out as being some sort of Capitol trick or mutt when Boggs storms over to her, pulling her aside as they speak animatedly. I've never seen him as angry as he is while they're talking. Not even when I elbowed him in the face back in District 8 and broke his nose.

It isn't until later that night, when we're finalizing the watch schedule, that Rye and I find out that the new Soldier Leeg is the old Soldier Leeg's twin sister. That information doesn't really bother me. But my heart drops into my boots when Boggs admits to me that this Leeg sister is one of the soldiers that he had left behind in Thirteen, assigned to protect Katniss and Sage. That can only mean that Coin knows, or at least suspects, that we're on to her.

My nightmares, which hadn't been too bad up until now, come roaring back with a vengeance. I see Katniss dying over and over, waking from each horrible dream either screaming or sweating through my uniform. I see her bleeding to death in the cave, or strangled by Cato on top of the Cornucopia. I see her attacked by the mutt monkeys or burning to death in the Quell. I see her bleeding out in the hospital after delivering Sage. Sometimes I wind up screaming so loud that I wake the entire squadron. Gale, Boggs, and Rye all take turns trying to bunk with me, since Finnick has his own nightmares to deal with, but it isn't until we come across the destroyed remains of a high-end stationary shop one day that I'm able to find any kind of relief. Rye asks Gale to help him comb through the wreckage, and together they manage to find a small set of charcoal pencils and a pad of paper that they give to me. After that I spend all of my free hours sketching. Katniss and Sage. The new bakery back in Twelve. The Meadow covered in dandelions. Rye asks me to sketch a picture of Madge for him, and after he shows it off to the squad members most of them ask me to draw pictures of their own loved ones. It does help, but the nightmares never go away, and I constantly feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack.

The next day we are given the task of clearing a street of active pods as part of a more complicated propo. One of the active pods unleashes a spray of gunfire. The other nets the invader and traps them for either interrogation or execution, depending on the captors' preference. Boggs explains that the camera crew will be adding special effects, smoke bombs and gunfire sound effects, to provide a sense of heightened anxiety and suspense. Gale volunteers to set off the net, while I'm instructed to trigger the gunfire with one of my arrows. After Messalla dabs some makeup on my face for the inevitable close-ups, Boggs gets us into position, with Cressida calling "Action," once the two cameramen are in place.

We proceed slowly down the street, just like one of our exercises in the Block. Everyone has at least one section of windows to blow out, and then I pull back and release an arrow past the gunfire pod, ducking quickly behind a building as the hail of bullets sweeps back and forth down the street. After a while, Boggs orders us to resume our positions for the close up shots.

We take turns reenacting our responses to the gunfire. Falling to the ground, ducking behind buildings or into doorways. It feels pretty ridiculous to be play-acting war, and we're all laughing hard enough by the time we're finished that Boggs has to reprimand us, while trying to suppress his own smile. Once we've calmed down he positions the Holo to get a fix on the net pod, and then steps forward onto an orange paving stone in the street, triggering a bomb that blows off his legs.

Instantly the laughter turns to screaming as we all try to figure out what just happened. Gale is able to reach Boggs first, followed closely by Homes as he tries to apply tourniquets to the bleeding stumps that are all that's left of Boggs' legs. Boggs' shaky fingers wrap around Gale's wrist, his face a sickly grey color. "Gale, the Holo," he orders.

Gale scrambles a bit, finding the device jammed underneath the dying man. He slides it out, trying to clean the blood and bits of flesh off of it with his sleeve before returning it to our commander. Behind me, I can sense the rest of the squad forming a sort of semi-circle around us as Jackson barks into her communicator, trying to summon a rescue vehicle. But as I watch the already large pool of blood growing larger by the second, I can sense that we've already reached the point of no return.

I kneel beside Boggs and cradle his head as he speaks hurriedly into the Holo. "Unfit for command," he gasps, and a green shaft of light bursts out of the Holo and illuminates his face. "Transfer of prime security clearance to Soldier Gale Hawthorne." Then he turns the Holo towards Gale's face. "Say your name."

"Gale Hawthorne," Gale says into the green shaft as it washes over his face and beeps three times. "But wait, Commander-"

"Keep to the mission!" Boggs says, the very act of speaking now difficult. "Keep them alive. You know who to trust, and you know what to do!" Then he looks up at me. "You know what you need to do. Make sure, that it gets done."

"What do you mean?" I ask frantically, but it's too late. Boggs shudders a couple of times before he goes limp, with Homes still trying to get a fix on the tourniquet around one of his legs.

"He's gone," Gale mumbles to Homes before looking at me. "He's gone."

Hot tears pierce my eyes. "So what do we do now?" I ask Gale.

Gale's eyes narrow as he pockets the Holo. "You heard him. We finish the mission."

But why do I get the feeling that Gale's mission and my mission are two different things? I don't have any more time to contemplate that as the rest of our squad starts to walk towards us. Heavy steps, laden with defeat and sadness. We all hear the loud click that sounds as Soldier Leeg steps on a paving stone that sinks a couple of inches. She freezes in place as a loud groaning noise fills the area, and I look up to see two huge metal walls sliding together on one end of the street. Another groaning sound comes from behind us as a second set of doors slide closed, blocking off the street and trapping us inside.

"Guys!" Rye hollers. "We need to move!"

I whip my head back to the other end of the block, where a black, oily wave of goo is spouting like a geyser from two holes in the street. It crashes down and starts to race towards us, sliding across the paving stones, gaining speed as it goes. It seems to be neither liquid nor gas, mechanical nor natural. Designed by Gamemakers to trap and then suffocate whoever is unlucky enough to be caught in it.

"Move, move, move!" Gale screams as he grabs my arm and pulls me up to my feet. Rye and Leeg run past me, blasting with their rifles across the rest of the paving stones in our path, trying to find any last pods that would prevent us from rushing into the ten-story building about fifty yards in front of us. One of the bullets hits another pod with a loud snap, triggering four long cables attached to tracks on the buildings that break through the stones, dragging up the barbed-wire net that captures Leeg. I slow down enough to watch helplessly as her instantly bloodied body writhes in pain, until Finnick grabs my collar and yanks me forward.

"Can't help her!" he calls to me as he pushes me ahead of him. Rye fires his gun at the door of the building and then kicks it open. We rush up the stairs, barely keeping ahead of the lethal black wave, until we reach the fifth floor to find the steps blown away and we can go no further.

"It's slowing down," Cressida says as we all pack together in the corners of the stairwell. The black wave reaches the lower part of the last step before it starts to recede with a loud squelching noise. I look out the window, where Soldier Leeg is still twitching slightly in the barbed net, until it finally sags beneath the dead weight of her body.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I'm sorry you had to die." Her and her sister, both dead within a few days' time. I can't help but think that Coin must've had something to do with the pods being mislabeled on the Holo. And now Boggs...

"The Gamemakers are still putting on quite a show," Cressida says. There's murmurs of agreement throughout the squad as Jackson pulls out her communicator and tries to radio back to base.

"I can't get a signal," she says after a few minutes. "But I can get us back to base. Hawthorne, give me the Holo."

Gale's hand goes protectively over the pocket of his vest where the Holo is resting. "No. Boggs gave it to me."

"It's true," Homes, Rye, and I all say at the same time. "I saw him transfer prime security clearance to Gale before he died," Homes adds.

"And why would he do that?" Jackson demands.

I've been asking myself that same question. Jackson was Boggs' second in command, but he obviously felt like he couldn't trust her to lead the rest of this mission. Whatever this mission is, which I'm starting to think isn't just shooting war propaganda footage anymore.

I've just opened my mouth when Rye speaks up. "Because Peeta's on a special mission from Coin," he says. I snap my mouth closed, forcing my expression into one that doesn't indicate shock at the absurdity of me doing anything special for Coin. "He's been assigned to assassinate President Snow before the loss of life from this war makes our population unsustainable."

Jackson scoffs. "I don't believe that for one second. And as your new squadron commander, I order you to transfer the prime security clearance to me, Soldier Hawthorne."

"No," I say, playing along. Boggs said that I knew who to trust, and I definitely trust my own brother more than some soldier from Thirteen, who may or may not be working for Coin. "What Rye said is true. I'm supposed to assassinate President Snow. Gale's here to protect me. And Plutarch wanted it televised live because he thinks it'll end the war."

"We're wasting time arguing!" Gale snaps. "If you don't want to follow us, then head back to camp. But we need to move. Now!"

Rye tentatively steps down on top of the black goo, which has hardened into a smooth, tar-like surface. "I don't think we'll leave any footprints, so we should go now."

Jackson eyes travel over the squad. Everyone except for her has crowded up behind Rye and Gale, ready to follow them down the steps. "The surveillance cameras were probably coated by the wave, but we should still move now," Castor says. "There'll be Peacekeepers here any minute."

"The wave will have set off any other pods in the area too," Finnick adds.

Finally Jackson nods. "All right then, Hawthorne. Lead on."

Gale preps his crossbow and starts down the stairs. The rest of us follow him as he leads us out of the building, past Soldier Leeg's lifeless body hanging in the barbed net, and into a bright pink apartment building about two hundred yards away. Everything is covered with the remnants of the black wave. Trees, flowers, street signs and lights, and all of the visible cameras.

Gale breaks open the door and we ascend up a spiral staircase into a living room with a bright pink ceiling and mirrored walls that throw our faces back at us at every turn. Gale and Jackson immediately move to shut the curtains while the rest of us slump down on the couches and chairs, trying to catch our breaths.

My mind is whirling trying to decipher Boggs' last words to me. "You know what you need to do. Make sure it gets done," he'd said. It's cryptic enough to have me think it was something that he didn't want Homes to hear, so I decide then that I won't assume that he knows what Boggs was talking about. I have a feeling that Gale knows, and maybe Finnick and Rye, but I can't ask any of them here, right now, in front of Jackson.

I'm startled out of my thoughts by the sound of explosions nearby. I jump at the rapid succession of five or six loud bursts, followed by the sound of a building collapsing.

"Was that where we just were?" I ask my brother.

Rye peaks around one of the curtains. "Yep. There's a whole squadron of Peacekeepers in that courtyard that we just walked through, and they just brought down that building we were hiding in."

There's a few seconds of silence around the room before we're all startled again by the television as it flares to life, emitting a high-pitched beeping sound. Gale, Rye, and Jackson all immediately point their weapons at the screen until the purple-haired visage of Caesar Flickerman appears on the screen, calling for everyone's attention.

"It's all right!" Cressida calls out. "It's just an emergency broadcast. Every Capitol television is automatically activated for it."

And there we are, on-screen, running away from the advancing black wave. We see Leeg trapped by the net pod and me hesitating before Finnick pushes me forward. The cameras follow us up the steps of the building before they are blotted out by the black wave. A series of pictures of our faces appear on the screen with our names underneath them. Caesar Flickerman reads off each one before the screen changes to an obviously hand-held camera now, showing footage of the Peacekeepers launching shells into the building, setting off the chain of explosions we heard while the building collapses into a pile of rubble and dust.

"So as you can see, viewers, it looks as though the Victors Peeta Mellark and Finnick Odair, along with their merry band of rebels, are dead. Two beloved Victors, turned somehow to the violent side of this rebellion, have met a violent end themselves. Our thoughts go out to their families, while the question remains: where is Katniss Everdeen, and why wasn't she here? Are the Star-Crossed Lovers no longer very star-crossed? Be sure to stay tuned to this emergency channel for more information as we receive it. I'm Caesar Flickerman."

There's no attempt by Thirteen or any of the rebels to break into the broadcast, which leaves me to think that they must believe it to be true. I gasp as the realization washes over me. I can't have Katniss thinking that I'm dead. I remember all too vividly the horrors I went through when I thought she had died during the Quell. Never in a thousand years would I ever want her to go through something like that.

"Rye-!" I say, but Gale interrupts me.

"So now that we're dead, what are we gonna do?" he asks.

I feel the telltale lump forming in my throat as my lungs feel like they're clenching up inside my chest. "Isn't it obvious?" I blurt out. "The Capitol thinks that we're dead, so the people in Thirteen probably do now as well. That means President Coin thinks that I'm dead. And if that's the case, what will happen to Katniss now?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Lots of stuff happening in this chapter, with even more coming in the next. I hope all you guys stick with me! :)
> 
> And please don't forget to comment! I appreciate each and every one! ❤


	24. Casualties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Rye's POV until close to the end, when it changes to Peeta's POV. We will hear from Katniss again in the next chapter.

RPOV

"I need to get a message to Katniss. I need to talk to her, or I need to get back to Thirteen somehow, or...". Peeta is ranting as he paces back and forth in this living room that looks like a tube of bright pink cake icing exploded all over the ceiling. He runs his hands restlessly through his hair before looking at me. "Rye, you don't know how this could affect Katniss!"

I think I'd have at least an inkling of how it would affect Katniss, because it would affect Madge too if she thought we were dead, but somehow I don't think that information will make any difference to Peeta right now. I feel a twinge of the old guilt flash though me as Peeta continues gasping for breath, getting dangerously close to hyperventilating. The last thing we need right now is for him to pass out from a panic attack.

Most of the time I can remember that there's nothing I could've done to prevent this. Katniss had already volunteered for her sister at the reaping by the time Peeta's name was called. Yes, I could've volunteered in his place, but at the time I was in too much shock to even process the fact that his name had been called, much less think about taking his place. And if I had? What would've happened then? Surely they wouldn't have tried to pass me and Katniss off as the star-crossed lovers. The only things I knew about Katniss then were that she liked to trade with my father at the bakery and that Peeta was in love with her. I'd always thought she was sleeping with Hawthorne.

No. If I'd gone into the Games in Peeta's place, either I would've died or Katniss would have, or most likely both of us. Which means no rule change, no berries, no two Victors, probably no Quell, and then no revolution. And who knows what would've happened to Peeta. He would have gone to work in the mines once he made it through his last reaping, since I have no doubt that our mother wouldn't have allowed him to inherit the bakery. She would've forced Bannock to take it over, even though he was already apprenticed at the General Store. She was that spiteful.

"Ryen, you need to help me! I need to talk to her!" Peeta cries, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Peeta, try to calm down. I'm sure Katniss is fine, and this isn't helping us at all-" Gale starts to say, but Peeta turns on him with a snarl on his face.

"Don't you dare say something like that to me! Like you could know how she's feeling right now!"

"Peeta!" I say. "Gale is right, this isn't helping anything." I grab his arm, trying to get him to sit down at least. But he's as big as I am and probably even stronger, and I'm barely able to duck out of the way as he swings at me with his fist. "Damnit Peeta, sit down before you hurt someone!" I finally yell at him.

Jackson and Homes are both staring at Peeta in irritation as he finally sits down, still gasping for breath and rocking back and forth. I want to tell him that I can get a message to Beetee easily with the music chip transmitter in my cargo pocket, but Gale told me specifically that he wasn't sure if we could trust any of the soldiers from Thirteen except for Boggs. And since Boggs is dead now, I'm keeping my mouth shut until I know we won't be overheard. I'm not exactly known for being a quiet one.

"Right now we have more important things to worry about," Gale says. He turns to Cressida and Messalla. "Think we might find some food here?"

Much to my delight, Messalla jumps right up and walks into one of the bedrooms. Apparently he used to live in an apartment like this, and so knows where people would be most likely to stash extra food. Jackson and Homes follow him around as he finds a couple of stashes of canned goods and several boxes of cookies and crackers.

While everyone's distracted by the food, I slip my hand into my pocket and feel around for the chip, tapping the button to send a message using the dashes and dots method that Gale taught me. I'm sure I mess up a bit, but hopefully Beetee will understand and let Madge and Katniss know that we are still alive. Peeta doesn't know this, but once Leeg sister number two came to join our squad after her sister was killed, I messaged Beetee and asked him if Katniss was still under guard. Beetee assured me that someone named Mitchell was in fact watching over Katniss and Sage, and that Haymitch and Prim were getting closer to unveiling some other important evidence against some of President Coin's inner circle. Things were starting to happen. I just needed to keep Peeta calm enough to complete our end of the mission.

Gale passes us a few of cans of soup and a box of cream-filled cookies. I have to cajole Peeta into eating, which is made a little easier when he finds a can labeled LAMB STEW. His eyes go glassy for a second, and it's only when he's halfway though the can that I remember this being the meal that he and Katniss received from a very generous sponsor when they were in the cave, back in their Games.

"Isn't hoarding food illegal here?" Jackson asks with a disgusted look on her face.

"On the contrary, in the Capitol you'd be considered stupid not to do it," Messalla says. "Even before the Quarter Quell, people here were starting to stock up on supplies."

"While others went without," Homes says grouchily, even around a mouthful of something.

"Fortunately for us, or we wouldn't have found it," Gale says. "We should pack up the rest and take it with us."

Another series of beeps from the television draws our attention to the screen. The seal of Panem appears and remains there while the anthem plays. Our pictures are flashed up on the screen, like they do with the dead tributes in the Hunger Games. The four faces of the TV crew, Peeta, Finnick, Gale, and myself. They don't bother with the soldiers from Thirteen because they probably don't even know who they are. Then the seal is replaced by the man himself, President Snow. He's seated at a dark, polished wood desk, a flag draped behind him, the ever-present white rose pinned to his lapel. Peeta's sharp intake of breath startles me and I turn to look at him. His face is growing paler by the second.

"I've been in that room before," he whispers. "That's whe-, that's where he threatened to sell Katniss."

Snow starts to speak, drawing my attention back to the screen. He congratulates the Peacekeepers for ridding the country of the menace of the Mockingjay and his band of rebels. With our deaths, he predicts a turning in the tide of the war, since surely the demoralized rebels have no one left to follow now that Peeta is dead. We have no real leader besides my little brother. My kind, artistic, never would hurt a fly before they threw him into the Games, little brother.

Then the screen goes hazy for a second, and now it's President Coin who's looking at us. Beetee must have hit a switch somewhere back in Thirteen. Coin introduces herself to Panem, identifies herself as the head of the rebellion, and then gives a eulogy for Peeta. How a simple Merchant boy from the smallest and poorest district in the land was able to win the Hunger Games, and inspire all thirteen districts to unite together to form a single army of a freedom fighters. "Dead or alive, Peeta Mellark will remain one of the faces of this rebellion. Remember him. Remember his unwavering courage and strength in the face of insurmountable odds, and you will find the strength you need to rid Panem of its oppressors."

My pocket buzzes. I slip my hand in and feel the vibrations of the chip. Dots and dashes. The message repeats itself three times before it stops. Beetee received my message. Madge and Katniss are okay. Now to figure out how to tell this to Peeta.

Peeta's face reappears on the screen before it goes black. He lets out a choked sob and starts rocking back and forth. I wrap my hand hard around his wrist and wrench it to me. I need to tell him, because it's only a matter of time before the Peacekeepers go through the wreckage of that building and realize that we aren't in it.

"Peeta, listen to me!" I whisper harshly. "Katniss is fine! She. Is. Fine." I try to emphasize each word so he understands what I mean. I'm not telling him that she'll _be_ fine, eventually, someday, when she's had time to mourn him. I'm telling him that she _is_ fine. That she knows he's okay for the time being. That she's still being guarded. I squeeze his arm to the point of causing him pain, but he finally blinks and nods.

"But how-?" he asks.

"Nevermind that now. Just trust me," I tell him. "I need you to trust me."

He stares at me for a few seconds before nodding again. He looks so exhausted right now. "Thank you."

"We need to get moving," Finnick says from the bright blue sofa across from the table. "It's not going to take them very long to figure out that our bodies aren't in that destroyed building."

"I agree," Gale says. He pulls out the Holo and asks Jackson to help him display the nearby streets. When she pushes the button to display the active pods, it seems like they've multiplied in number since the last time we saw this display. There's no way we can possibly move through these streets without either being detected or being trapped or blown to bits by the various pods.

"Well, it doesn't look the streets are a viable option right now," Gale says.

"And the rooftops are just as bad," Jackson says.

Out of the corner of my eye I notice the frenzied gesturing that Pollux often does when he's trying to communicate with his brother. Castor watches him intently before nodding in agreement. "There's another way," Castor says.

"Underground?" Gale asks.

Castor nods. "There's an entire series of tunnels that follow under the streets. We can take them all the way to the President's mansion, if that's indeed where we are heading."

Oh great. I've just managed to get Peeta to calm down a little and now we're heading underground, into tunnels, probably dark and small, where he'll have another panic attack and make the soldiers even more suspicious that he's supposed to try and kill the president. Everyone murmurs their agreement to the underground plan, and after we erase all possible evidence of our stay we file into a utility room back in one of the bedrooms and climb down through a tube into the bowels of the city. We gather at the foot of the ladder, waiting for our eyes to adjust in the dim light, breathing in the horrible smell of chemicals and sewage. It smells worse down here than our old school locker room ever did.

Next to me, Peeta's eyes are as wide as pie tins, and I can see the sheen of sweat that's broken out along his hairline. He's trying to hold himself together, but just barely, as Pollux seems to be having a hard time also all of a sudden. He grabs onto Castor's arm, looking like he's going to be sick.

"My brother worked down here after he was made an Avox," Castor says. "It took us five years to buy his way back up to the surface. He didn't see the sun once."

That makes sense, given the little I know about Avoxes, but I don't think that information would be helpful right now. What we don't need are two members of our squad who can't hold themselves together.

"Well, then you just became our most valuable asset," Peeta says to Pollux, trying to sound as encouraging as possible. Castor laughs and Pollux manages a smile. Leave it to Peeta to know exactly what to say in this crazy situation.

And he's right. Pollux knows these tunnels like the back of his hand. He's able to guide us past the underground trains, past the Avoxes as they change shifts, past the hidden cameras, and keep us away from any active pods. We make good time, and we're exhausted four hours later when Jackson finally calls for a rest time. We pile onto a small metal bridge of sorts that connects two sections of tunnel. Pollux glances at a caged clock up on the wall and holds up four fingers, indicating that we have four hours to rest. Jackson works out a watch schedule, and I wedge myself in between Peeta and Gale and go to sleep.

Gale elbows me awake a couple hours later, although it seems like only a few minutes for how tired I still am. Peeta's asleep next to me, but his lips are pressed tightly together and his brow is furrowed. His sleep is an uneasy one.

"Listen to me," Gale whispers. "I don't know if we're all going to make it out of here, and if we don't, we need to be clear that whoever survives is able to carry out the mission."

I swallow hard. "All right. Then what exactly is the mission? Because for some reason I feel like what I said back there in that building is really what you're trying to have us do here."

Gale hands me a can of soup. "It is."

My hand freezes with the pop top on my soup can halfway off. "What? You can't be serious!"

Gale takes a sip from his own can. "I am. Boggs and I designed this mission together. No one would expect the propaganda crew to be entrusted with an actual strategic mission. It was the perfect cover."

Rage floods my body, and for the next several seconds I find it hard to get my next words out. "Do you mean to tell me, that you're using my brother on some mission that you didn't even tell us about? How is that any better than what Coin's trying to do to him? And how much of this did you put on my wife's shoulders?"

"We couldn't risk the chance that Peeta would give away our plan. You know how he screams in his sleep sometimes," Gale says. "It's also better this way, because the fewer the number of people who know all of the details, the better. In case we're captured. Madge knows some parts of the plan, but not all. We told her her parts once we landed in Two."

I shake my head. "That's no excuse about Peeta. You should have at least told me. I'm trying to protect him out here, and I can't do that unless I know everything that's going on! And if Katniss ever finds out about this, she'll kill you!"

"I'm telling you right now," Gale replies angrily. "So shut up and listen!"

"Fine. But from now on you will tell me every single thing you're planning that involves Peeta, do you understand? I will be the one to decide what to tell him or not. And no more involving Madge without asking me first. All right?"

Gale nods, looking a little sheepish. "All right."

"All right," I repeat. "Now tell me everything."

So Gale does. He tells me about the uncovered conspiracy in Thirteen, of which I knew some of it. The attempt on Peeta's life in District 2 was definitely the action of one of Coin's spies. District 4 with the Peacekeeper was a random occurrence, but there's evidence that spies were present in at least three of the other districts during Peeta's Victory Tour, gathering information, waiting for opportunities that didn't present themselves due to chance.

"So our goal is to get Peeta to the President's mansion, and then have him shoot Snow?" I ask incredulously. "Do you really think Peeta would do that?"

"He's been in the mansion before, so he would know the way around better than any of us. He's got a personal vendetta against Snow for what he did with Katniss in the Quell, plus everything else. So yeah, I think he would."

"Dude, I don't know. I thought this whole time that we were just supposed to arrest Snow. I don't know if Peeta would kill him in cold blood like that."

Gale looks at me like I've grown a second head. "Are you kidding me? After all this, after everything... Peeta'd be a fool not to take the chance."

"He's not like you, Gale, and you know it," I say, my voice rising higher and higher. "I'm sure he wants Snow dead just as much as you do. But I really don't think he wants to be the one to do it. I don't think he'd want that on his conscience for the rest of his life. I mean, look how bad his nightmares are already, and he's never even killed anyone! Not even in his Games!"

Peeta stirs then, and I lower my voice back down. "Believe me, Gale, he won't want to."

Gale scowls as he looks over at my sleeping brother. "Well, then if it comes down to it, either I'll have to do it, or you'll have to. Because with the way things are in Thirteen, we don't have the luxury of waiting to see what Coin will do if we manage to take Snow alive."

I nod my understanding. We're fighting a war on two fronts now, which, from what I remember in my history classes back in school, is never a good idea. Two leaders, diametrically opposed in their favored type of government and methods, but both tyrants who would stop at nothing to achieve their end goal of ultimate control. At least the people we've left back in Thirteen are fighting their war by only gathering information and evidence right now. But soon enough it will turn ugly there too, and I really don't want my wife, or Peeta's, caught in the middle of that mess.

A strange hissing noise interrupts my thoughts as Pollux, who's stayed awake the entire time on the opposite side of the metal bridge, starts to tap people on their shoulders to wake them. I tilt my head, trying to get a better read on where the noise could be coming from. It doesn't sound quite natural to me. More like something you'd hear... in the Hunger Games...

"Shit! We need to get moving right now!" I say, grabbing Peeta by the shoulder. "I think they've released mutts!"

"Mutts!" Finnick says at the same time. He jumps to his feet, trident in hand. "Snow must've realized that we aren't dead already!"

"Katniss!" Peeta cries out in alarm. He's heard the hissing noise too, and in his half-asleep, still nightmarish state, his first instinct is to look for Katniss.

"Katniss is fine, Peeta, but we need to move!" I say as I push him in front of me. "Pollux?"

Pollux nods and starts to lead us down into a drainpipe filled with waist-deep water, the beams from the flashlights fixed to our rifles making eerie shadows on the tunnel walls as we go. We try to make as little noise as possible, and the water helps to drown out our scents, but the hissing continues to follow us. The mutts are behind us, judging from the sounds, although it's a good bet that they're going to be faster than we are. My mind grapples with what these things actually look like. I remember those horrible wolf-like creatures in Peeta's Games, and the monkeys in the Quell, along with all the other monstrosities we've seen on television over the years. Given the fact that we're underground and sloshing through water, it would make sense for the hissing mutts to be walking upright. Which also explains why they seem to be gaining on us.

Pollux and Gale had worked out a route that led towards Snow's mansion before the mutts appeared, and we're still heading in that direction. We've gone about three more blocks when I hear screams. Horrible, guttural screams bouncing off the tunnel walls. The mutts must've gotten to the poor Avoxes who work down here. Peeta stops in front of me, pressing his hands to his ears, and I push against his shoulder blades to keep him moving. The sound is enough to raise the hair on the back of your neck.

"We gotta keep moving, Peet!" I say. "Keep moving, straight ahead!" He complies for a few more steps where we come upon a T-intersection in the tunnel. Pollux holds his hand out for us to wait, while he crawls through and checks out the right hand turn. He's gone for several seconds, long enough for all of us to start fidgeting before he reappears and motions us forward. We crawl carefully through the junction connecting the two sections of tunnel, one at a time, until there's only Castor left with Jackson bringing up the rear. Time seems to suspend for a moment when I realize that the hissing has stopped.

"Look out!" I scream, as Jackson is pulled under the foul water and trampled as the mutts converge on the rest of us. Castor swings his rifle back around, the flashlight beam illuminating the horrible, pale, reptilian-like creatures with razor-sharp claws and teeth, catching one of them in the act of slitting Homes' throat. Gale shoots the creature closest to Castor as Castor wedges himself through the juncture.

"Pollux get us out of here!" Gale yells, pushing Peeta in front of him. Pollux continues forward, sloshing through the sewage, gesturing frantically for us to keep up as we round another corner. The deafening sound of gunfire behind us as Cressida and Messalla try to fend off the mutts propels me forward, right on Gale's heels. We reach another T-intersection, and just as we turn the corner another group of the mutts piles onto Castor, pulling him under and dragging his body down the opposite direction. Pollux makes a horrible sound of shock and starts to move back, trying to help his brother. Gale manages to grab Pollux and turn him back around as Peeta fires one of his explosive arrows down the tunnel where the second group of mutts originated.

The water depth lowers as we run up a slight incline. We're getting closer to the surface now, but I highly doubt that these creatures will stop once we're out of the tunnels. Peeta shoots another arrow behind us, collapsing the tunnel on top of a group of the mutts just as Cressida, Messalla, and Finnick slog their way out of it.

A few steps later and we're in a room of sorts, with a ladder hanging down from a pipe that must lead back up to the surface. I shudder to think how many Peacekeepers will be waiting for us up there once we emerge, but we have no choice. The mutts will stop at nothing until we're all dead.

Pollux stumbles his way over to the ladder, pointing upward and reaching a hand towards Peeta to help him climb up. Once he's safely at the top, I position myself at the bottom, spraying bullets behind the rest of the squad as they fight their way over, with Gale lingering behind to make sure no one else is lost. I see Peeta's hand reaching down to help Cressida once she reaches the top. I look back down to see a mutt only about a foot away from me. I don't even have time to raise my rifle before a trident impales the creature and throws it back towards one of the destroyed tunnels. Finnick then holds the trident in one hand as he climbs up the ladder with the other, Gale and I providing cover fire until he makes it up to the top.

"Get up there!" Gale yells, shoving me against the bottom rung of the ladder. He's holding one of his palms pressed up against his neck, where blood is streaming down from an obviously deep cut.

"What about you?" I yell back, still grazing the room with bullets, until my mag runs out and I reach for my pistol.

Gale turns around, his eyes sweeping the three separate tunnels that feed into this room. Two of them were shot at and mostly destroyed by Peeta, but the mutts continue to surge forward, climbing over the wreckage and dead bodies like they're not even there. By the time he turns back to look at me there's at least twenty of the things, all aiming directly for him.

I take careful aim with my pistol, shooting each one as they get close to Gale, but with only a twelve-bullet clip it's emptied far too quickly and the lizards keep coming. Messalla's at the top of the ladder, shooting with his rifle until his mag empties and he whips the rifle at the head of one of the beasts. Cressida takes his place, shooting with her rifle, trying to keep the mutts from reaching the ladder.

Gale looks up at the top of the ladder, then back at me. "You need to finish the mission," he says. He pulls the Holo out of his pocket and flips on the switch, then grabs my hand, shoving it onto the ladder rung. "Get to the mansion. Finish this. Make sure he makes it back to her. And promise me, that you'll take care of my family when you get back."

"Wait, what do you mean?" I plead with him. "Gale, what are you doing?"

"Nightlock," he says into the Holo. Its light changes color from light blue to pink. "Nightlock," he repeats, the pink color growing darker.

"Gale, no! Don't do this!"

He shoves his shoulder into my back, pushing me up the ladder. "It's the only way! Now get out of here before I blow this thing!!"

Three mutts have reached him now, tearing at him as he watches me climb the ladder. In the few seconds it takes me to reach the top I remember how much I used to despise him. How I thought he was such an arrogant prick, always charming the Merchant girls behind the slag heap, walking around the school with that brooding look on his face all the time. How horrible he was to Peeta for a while after his Games. He was just another coal miner's son from the Seam. But now? Now I would call him my closest friend.

"Take care of my family!" Gale cries, right before he chokes out a final "nightlock," and the entire platform rocks with the explosion. Pieces of mutt and human flesh shoot out the pipe, showering us before Pollux is able to slam the cover down and lock it in place.

"Let's go, go, go! Keep moving, keep moving!" Finnick cries once the cover's locked securely down over the pipe. I look around, trying to get my bearings, and realize that we're back on the level with the underground trains. There's a concrete staircase at the end of the tunnel section, about a hundred yards away. We run towards it, those of us with rifles reloading our mag clips as we run so we can shoot at the Peacekeepers who've appeared both behind and in front of us, blocking our path to the stairs and preventing us from retreating. Peeta shoots another of his explosive arrows at the Peacekeepers behind us, the arrow landing on the tunnel ceiling and collapsing it on top of about ten of them. We keep running towards the stairs, shooting at the Peacekeepers there, when a beam of light shoots down from the ceiling, trapping Messalla within it for a second like a statue, the rest of us watching helplessly as his body turns to ash and disintegrates.

Cressida pauses for a moment, stumbling as she realizes what just happened. Finnick grabs her collar and pushes her forward. "Keep going, keep going!"

Dodging more of the lethal light beams, we finally reach the staircase, scrambling and tripping over the dead Peacekeepers littering each step as we climb up to the street. It's still dark, so we have that slight cover, but I can hear the shouts of more Peacekeepers on the way, drawn to us by the sounds of our firefight down below.

"I know a place!" Cressida says, pointing with her rifle. "Down that street a little and to the left!"

"All right, let's go!" I call, nodding at Cressida and grabbing Peeta's shoulder. I let Finnick and Cressida run ahead of us, since she knows where we're headed, keeping Peeta next to me as I try to watch for Peacekeepers from all directions. From what I remember from the Holo map of the pods, I know we are getting dangerously close to something called the Meat Grinder, so I try to keep us as close as I can to the buildings, thinking that it would be more likely to have a pod trigger in the middle of the road. I'm concentrating so hard I don't even realize what I've stepped on until the net shoots out from the lamppost next to us, sliding underneath my feet and trapping me in the amount of time it takes to take a breath. Peeta stops immediately and pulls out one of his arrows, trying to cut through the thick rope of the net.

"Finnick!" Peeta yells. "Rye's trapped! Help me!"

"Peeta, just go!" I tell him. The shouts of the Peacekeepers are getting louder, and who knows what they'll do to Peeta if they get a hold of him. "Leave me and go!"

"No, I'm not leaving you!" he says, still sawing away with his arrow. "I can't leave you behind!"

"There they are!" I hear from behind us. "He's the one with the arrows!"

"Peeta, listen to me!" I say frantically. "They're coming for you! You need to leave me and go! You need to get out of here right now!"

But it's too late. Peeta's arrow breaks through one tiny section of the net before he's tackled by two Peacekeepers, one of whom clocks him over the head with his rifle. A guttural, Avox-like scream lets loose from my lungs as I watch my unconscious little brother dragged away and shoved into the back of a truck as bullets rip through the rest of the Peacekeepers. Finnick reaches me just as the last Peacekeeper falls over dead. He pulls a dagger from his belt and starts cutting away the net as I scream and sob Peeta's name over and over. I feel him grab my arm and pull me into a nearby shop, the grimy storefront filled with mannequins wearing furry underwear.

"We need to find Peeta!" I say hysterically to the strange-looking woman sitting behind the counter. "The Peacekeepers took him!" The woman just stares at us, her gold and black striped skin stretching as she squints at me, trying to figure out why I'm yelling at her.

"Tigris," Cressida says in a less frantic voice. "Do you remember me? I'm with Plutarch's underground. We need your help."

The tiger lady studies us for a few more seconds before standing gracefully. She leads us across her shop to the back, where she slides back a panel in the floor, leading to a sharp, stone staircase. We walk down the steps and into a cellar, lit by only a single dangling lightbulb in the middle of the otherwise dank and smelly room. Once I reach the floor I sink down onto a box of something as the floor panel slides closed, trapping us inside.

My mind is swirling. Peeta is captured. Gale is dead. There's only Finnick, Cressida, Pollux, and myself left out of our original squadron of twelve.

"Guys," I say. "What do we do now?"

 

PPOV

"Katniss!!" I scream into the empty room as I come to, my voice echoing along the concrete of the floor and walls.

I don't know how long I've been unconscious. My head is throbbing, my side hurts where my ribs were broken, and my leg is sore from all the running we had to do down in those tunnels. As I shift a little I notice that I'm lying on a very cold floor, and no longer wearing my uniform. In fact, I'm wearing nothing at all except for an almost paper-thin pair of knee-length shorts. My feet are bare, I can make out the metal foot of my prosthesis in the faint light coming from further down the hallway. I try to sit up, groaning loudly at the sharp pain coming from my side. I gingerly rub my hand over the most painful part and wince. It definitely feels like my ribs are broken again.

As my eyes adjust to the minimal light I start to look around, slowly, each movement triggering both more throbbing in my head and a swirl of nausea. My vision clears a little after a few seconds and I can make out the bars lining the room where I'm sitting on the floor. This is a cell. A prison cell.

"Oh no," I whisper as the memories come flooding back. Zip lining down through the glass roof into the Tribute Center. Finding the hidden third floor of the attached hospital. The torture chamber where we'd found Annie, and Gloss. That's where I am right now.

_Please let Katniss and Sage be safe,_ I think as I try to peer down the row of cells. From what I can see I'm the only one in here, so it looks like my brother and the rest of the squad haven't been captured as well. Katniss and Sage are still in Thirteen as far as I know, so Haymitch should be with them. He'll probably know what to do. Now that the entire mission has gone to hell, with so many people dead.

I hear the sound of a heavy door opening, and immediately the artificially pungent scent of roses precedes the sounds of two sets of footsteps along the floor. I know who one of those sets belongs to before he even has to open his mouth.

"Well, Mr. Mellark," the slimy voice of President Snow says as he reaches my cell. "You certainly know how to put on a show, don't you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a tough chapter, and I'm nervous to post it. Please let me know what you think! ❤


	25. Illusion vs. Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Katniss's POV. It backs up a little in the timeline and will end around the same time as the last chapter.

KPOV

Even though Sage is sleeping better at night now, I find that keeping to a routine is still helpful for both of us, especially when Peeta's away. Most mornings, Sage wakes me up about thirty minutes before the horn sounds for breakfast. We cuddle while he nurses, then I sit him on the couch while I get dressed before we head down to the cafeteria. We usually sit with Haymitch and Johanna, who's still in a bad mood for being barred from going to the Capitol. She told us that she failed her medical exam, but didn't go into any more detail than that. I just assume it has something to do with her leg that was so badly broken in the Quell.

I spend some time with Gale's family during the day, hanging out with Hazelle while the kids are in school, or letting Posy play with Sage after school is out. Sometimes I visit with my sister down in the hospital, but she's been quite busy lately so I try not to bother her too much. Madge has been busy as well, her nausea subsiding a little now that she's closer to her second trimester.

At least once a day Sage and I make our way down to Special Defense, to see if the Star Squad has produced any new propos for the day. I both love and hate these new propos, as they show Peeta in all sorts of different war scenarios that look far too real for my taste. Beetee reassures me that most of the war scenery is special effects, and Peeta tells me the same thing when I'm able to talk to him, but it's still scary to see him getting shot at and blowing up things.

Madge and I usually meet for dinner, most days inviting Annie to join us. Annie's not the easiest person to talk to, but we try, if only to draw her out of her shell a little. I hardly know a thing about her except that Finnick loves her and everyone thinks she's mad. After a few evenings of dinner conversation, where she makes goo-goo eyes at Sage and breaks off in the middle of conversations to stare into the empty air, I decide she's less mad than unstable. I can't really blame her. All of us Victors could be called unstable to some degree or another.

Peeta's been gone a little over a week when I notice that the tall, blonde-haired woman who'd been following me around since he left, has disappeared. The mystery is solved with the next propo that we see, when Beetee explains that her twin sister was killed by a mislabeled pod and she was needed as a replacement for the Star Squad. Beetee tries to make it sound innocent, but we both know the truth. Coin must've figured out that the woman was left behind with a made-up excuse in order to keep an eye on me and Sage. And now she's gone. Which begs the question, did Coin have anything to do with the pod that killed her sister being mislabeled, or did she simply take advantage of the situation? And if she can manipulate the Holo information like that, then Peeta's in a lot more danger than he realizes. Visions of exploding pods invade my nightmares from that point on.

Sage and I are down in the hospital visiting Prim during his afternoon nap two days later, at her request, when Haymitch appears in the little office my mother uses for her prenatal exams. There's at least thirty women in Thirteen who are expecting babies now, and the demands on my mother's time have been such that Prim has taken over a lot of new responsibilities, including running laboratory tests and doing Sage's well-baby exams.

"Beetee says you have some results to show us," Haymitch says to Prim as he leans against the doorway of the office.

"What are you talking about?" I say sharply. I don't want my little sister involved in anything for the rebellion. I glare hard at Haymitch. "You brought my sister into this?"

"Like it or not, Sweetheart," Haymitch retorts. "But she's in it. And there's not a lot you can do about it."

"President Coin even offered to let me go to the Capitol as a field medic!" Prim says excitedly. "She says that as the fighting gets closer to the President's mansion that the casualties will increase, so they'll need more medics."

"No!" I say. I grab Prim's arm and look at her. She's taller than me now, by at least a few inches, and her hair is thick and long in its single braid woven around her head like I wear mine. But she's still my little sister, and I have an instinctive need to want to protect her. "Please Prim. Please don't go to the Capitol. I don't know if I could handle having both you and Peeta there." I hate how weak I sound, even though it's the truth. I worry so much about Peeta when he's gone. I don't want to have to worry about my sister's safety on top of it. There's no way to know Coin's intentions for wanting Prim in the Capitol.

"I'm old enough to decide for myself, Katniss," she says firmly. "You don't need you to watch over me like that anymore. I'm not that same scared little girl I was at the reaping."

"We can discuss this another time," Haymitch says impatiently. "Tell us what you found."

Prim pulls a small paper out of her smock pocket. "Beetee and I just got these results back this morning," she begins, looking at me. "Katniss, this directly involves you."

"What about me?" I ask, my arms tightening around my sleeping baby wrapped on my front.

"Well," she says. "You were doing fine after Sage was born, or Mom and I would've never left you and Peeta alone in the room. You must've shifted in the bed or something when you started to hemorrhage. It's not unheard of for that to happen, and Mom and I are always prepared for it just in case. But by the time we got back to the room, you were in real danger of going into circulatory arrest."

I don't remember too much of that time. All I remember is feeling exhausted and sore one minute, and then waking up every now and then over the next couple of days feeling like I'd been hit by a train.

"Okay," I say. "Are you saying that something happened to me during that time?"

Prim inhales and exhales shakily. "The medicine the doctor gave you should've helped you right away, but instead, it made the bleeding worse. That, plus the fact that he refused to let Mom and I intervene until Haymitch threatened him, got me suspicious. So I went through the trash, and found the packaging from the medicine that he gave you. And it wasn't medicine that stops bleeding. It was medicine that we would give to someone having a stroke or heart attack, to dissolve blood clots. So, the doctor either accidentally or deliberately gave you medicine that was designed to do the exact opposite of what you needed."

My eyes widen in surprise. I probably shouldn't be shocked that Coin's influence stretches down into the medical staff, but it still makes my veins feel like they've been filled with ice water.

"Now," Prim continues. "Medication errors can happen from time to time. But the error, combined with the fact that the doctor wouldn't allow Mom to help you, leads me to think that it was done on purpose. That the doctor was trying to... kill you."

I swallow hard against the lump in my throat, dropping my face to kiss the top of my son's head. Haymitch is staring at me, trying to decipher how I'm handling this information.

"Anything else?" I ask.

Prim nods. "Yes. I also was puzzled at how long it took you to recover, especially once we'd replenished your lost fluids. So, I had your leftover IV fluid analyzed. Turns out, it was laced with a strong sedative, one that we'd normally use on someone much heavier than you, Katniss. And it's also one that passes into the breast milk, so it would've had a detrimental affect on Sage if I hadn't stopped your fluids before your milk came in."

So. Coin was so desperate to get rid of me that she deliberately tried to harm my son. My body starts to shiver in anger. How _dare_ she.

"All right," I say, a lot more calmly than I feel. "What are we going to do with this information?"

"I've already passed all of this onto Beetee," Haymitch says. "He has the ear of Commander Paylor, and from what she's told us, we need to just sit on it until the time is right. Right now Paylor's in the Capitol, about five miles from Snow's mansion. She needs to take care of that mission before she can concentrate on Coin."

"But-"

"You're still under guard here," Haymitch interrupts. "There were two soldiers left behind to guard you, and one of them is still here. I also want you escorted wherever you go from now on. You're not to walk anywhere without someone with you. Myself, Prim, Madge, Johanna, even Annie. All right?"

I huff out a breath. "All right." Even though I hate the thought of being followed around, and Haymitch knows it.

"Think of it as extra protection for him," Haymitch adds, running his rough hand over the wrap where Sage is cuddled. I haven't pointed it out to him yet, but it is both funny and very sweet how protective and loving Haymitch is towards my son. Out of the few times I've ever seen him smile, most of those times were in response to him being around Sage.

"Okay."

Haymitch walks us back to our compartment and hangs out there the rest of the afternoon, playing with Sage, flipping through Peeta's family recipe book, and playing cards. We're just on our way to dinner when Madge comes up to us, out of breath from running.

"Katniss!" she says. "Something terrible has happened!"

"Wha-?" is all I'm able to get out before Haymitch interrupts me.

"What has happened!" Haymitch demands.

There are tears streaming down Madge's face, and she's doubled over, trying to catch her breath. "Do you know where Annie is?"

"She's probably in her room, or with Johanna," I say quickly. "Madge! What has happened!"

"I was j-, just down in Special Defense, looking for Beetee. I needed to ask him a question about something. But I couldn't find him, so I sat down to wait for him to come back, and that's when I saw it."

Haymitch's eyes narrow, then widen, like he's realizing something. "Madge-"

"Our boys are dead!" she cries. "They're all dead. All of them. They were in a building, and it was shelled by some Peacekeepers, and it collapsed on them, and then President Snow came on and said they were all dead!"

I stumble back like I've been hit in the chest with an arrow, clutching my son close to me. Haymitch grabs my arm and rights me before grabbing Madge's arm and walking us quickly down to a seldom-used hallway.

"It's not true," he says once we're in the darkened corner. "None of it. Yes, they were in a building, and yes, it was shelled and destroyed. But they're okay. Rye got a message through to Beetee after that broadcast was first aired."

The tears that had been pooling in my eyes start to leak out as I gasp, hugging my son to my chest. Madge turns on Haymitch with a crazed look on her face.

"How do you know this?" she cries. "And why wouldn't Beetee tell me?"

"Because," Haymitch rasps, trying to keep his voice down. "Beetee's been busy trying to keep up this illusion for Coin. Right now she also believes it to be true, and it helps us if that continues."

I lean against the wall, breathing deep breaths and willing my limbs to stop shaking. I wouldn't believe anything coming from either Coin or Snow right now, but even hearing that Peeta is dead when it isn't true rattles me.

"Are you sure?" Madge asks, a little more calm now.

"Absolutely," Haymitch assures her.

"Then why didn't you tell us?" I ask, feeling the brief panic I felt being replaced by anger. "You know how it would affect me, how it affected Madge?"

Haymitch scowls. "It was to keep up the illusion for Coin, Sweetheart," he says, like I'm the dumbest person he's ever seen. "There's little doubt that word of your and Madge's reaction will get back to Coin, and that kind of thing only works when it's genuine. This allows us to keep up the illusion, and keep with the mission in the Capitol."

"And I suppose that's something else you're not going to tell us!" I snap.

At that, Madge actually looks guilty, just for a second, but still long enough for me to notice. "What? Don't tell me that you know something about it you're not telling me!"

Madge refuses to meet my eyes, instead keeping her gaze on Sage's blond head. "I'm sorry Katniss. Rye made me promise not to say anything to you. He told me that Peeta doesn't even know-"

"What??" I practically yell as I turn on Haymitch. "What did you send him out there to do, that he doesn't even know about? And how could you? Haymitch, he trusts you! How could you do that to him?"

Haymitch slips his hand into his pocket. "I can't say anything else." Then he leans in to whisper into my ear. "Try to remember, everything that I do, I do it to protect you and Peeta both. And bring you both home. It's just like the Games, Katniss. Don't forget that."

I pull my head back, looking him straight in the eye, speaking loud enough for any listening devices to pick up my voice. "I want to see this propo."

"Why?"

"I need to see it for myself. I won't believe it until I see it." I look at Madge, begging her with my eyes to understand. "We shouldn't believe it until we see it."

Madge's blue eyes go as wide as saucers. "You're right," she says in a mechanical voice. "Yes, I think we should see it."

Haymitch grumbles, but leads us down to Special Defense anyway. Beetee is in his usual spot behind his console when we arrive.

"The two Mrs. Mellarks would like to see the new propo footage," Haymitch says.

Beetee looks surprised, but complies with our request. Watching both Snow's cocky assurance that the Star Squad has been destroyed and the rebellion lost, and Coin's fake eulogy for Peeta, makes my skin crawl.

"I didn't realize how much Peeta meant to her," I say sarcastically, earning me another scowl from Haymitch.

"Keep playing your role, Sweetheart," he grumbles. "That's the best way to help them right now."

Haymich escorts Madge and I back to our quarters before grabbing our dinner from the cafeteria, using his influence as my mentor to explain that we're both too heartbroken to be seen at the moment. My sleep that night is a fitful one, with visions of Peeta sitting helplessly as buildings collapse around him. The next morning, after Haymitch brings our breakfast to us, he and I wander down to Special Defense and ask Beetee for my bow and arrows.

I haven't hunted in months, and I'm not even sure if I could shoot straight after all this time, but I need something to distract me. With Madge's help, I get Sage wrapped up on my back with his head resting against my neck, shifting the arrow quiver to the side of him. Madge is too busy to come outside with me, so Beetee has a solider named Mitchell accompany me to the woods. He doesn't try to talk to me, and I don't try to talk to him either. Sage falls asleep after about five minutes in the fresh air, and Solider Mitchell stays a good distance behind me, his tread not much quieter than Peeta's.

I wander around awhile before spotting a flock of geese. I take one down before the rest fly away, my reloading time significantly slower than usual. Still, it feels so good to be out and about again I vow to start coming out here at least every other day.

After another thirty minutes or so a buck wanders into range. I manage to take it out with one shot, calling out to Soldier Mitchell to help me haul it and the goose back to the kitchens. There's minced venison in the stew for dinner that night.

The next day Madge asks for my help in collating some paperwork. We spend most of the afternoon on the task, picking Annie up for dinner and then heading down to the rec room to watch television for a while. After a couple episodes of a show about a guy who can run at the speed of sound, we decide to call it a night.

We've almost made it back to our residential compartments when I hear heavy footsteps behind us. "Katniss," Haymitch says grimly. "You and Madge need to come with me right now." His grey eyes look scared. "Rye needs to talk to you. Paylor's caught up with their group, and... he has some news."

"I want to talk to Rye!" Madge says.

"What kind of news," I say, but Haymitch doesn't answer me. "Haymitch, what news!" But he keeps walking, refusing to answer my question.

Haymitch's hand stays on the small of my back as we trot to Special Defense, my arms wrapped around Sage and Madge right on my elbow. Rye's tired face is filling the screen next to Beetee's work area, and my heart stutters with how much he looks like Peeta at first glance.

"Rye!" Madge exclaims when she sees him. "You're okay!"

"Yeah baby, I'm okay," Rye replies, his voice somber. "I'm okay, but... not all of us made it. Gale... Gale's dead. He sacrificed himself, so we could get away."

"Oh," I choke out, thankful for the pressure of Haymitch's hand on my back to hold me up. Gale. My friend, who was like a brother to me. My hunting partner for five years. Strong, proud, headstrong Gale. "How?"

Rye sighs heavily, looking exhausted. "We were under attack by some mutts down in the sewers. We were cornered between the mutts and a bunch of Peacekeepers, so Gale stayed behind and blew himself up with our Holo, along with all of the mutts. He saved us. Peeta, Finnick, Cressida, and me. He saved all of us."

"I'm so sorry Rye," Madge says. "I know how much he meant to you. And to you, Katniss. I'm so sorry."

"He's a hero," I say, sniffing. "And we will remember him that way."

Rye pauses for a few seconds, fidgeting anxiously. "That's ah... that's not all I have to tell you."

"Can I talk to Peeta now?" I ask, before I've even heard his last words completely.

"What is it, Rye?" Madge asks. "What's wrong?"

"Peeta's not here, Katniss," Rye says.

"What do you mean he's not there? Where is he? What's happened to him?" I can feel my heart thumping against the small body of my son.

A lone tear slides down Rye's cheek, leaving a trail through the smudges of dirt on his face. "He's been..., Peeta's been captured, Katniss. Right after Gale was killed. We were running, and I got caught up in a net, like a damn fish! Peeta was trying to get me out, but the Peacekeepers got him. They got him and they dragged him away, and I couldn't help him!"

My knees can no longer hold me up and I sway against Haymitch. His arms wrap around both Sage and me as Madge holds onto my arm. "No," I whisper. "Snow'll... Snow'll torture him. He'll do horrible things to him." My voice is rising hysterically now. "Rye! You have to get him out of there! You have to find him! You have to get him out before Snow kills him!"

"Believe me, Katniss, we're getting a rescue plan together right now," Rye says. "But Paylor says it'll be three or four days before we're able to move against Snow. Paylor thinks Snow's in his mansion, since it's locked up like a fortress right now, but Peeta's most likely being held in the Tribute Center. Where we found Annie. We're still trying to regroup from making it this far, but as soon as we're ready, I'll be leading the mission to rescue Peeta myself."

"He could be dead by then!" I scream, startling my son, who begins to wail right along with me. "Don't you understand! Snow will torture and kill him!"

"Paylor's convinced that Snow won't kill Peeta until he can't get anything else out of him," Rye says. "That includes everything he knows about the operations in Thirteen, and everything about you and Sage. Please believe me, Katniss. We're going to get him back as soon as possible."

Intellectually, what Rye is saying makes sense. But I'm completely beyond thinking about any of this intellectually. "I don't care about what Paylor thinks, Rye! I can't bear the thought of him trapped there, while Snow does who knows what to him!" And with that, I cross some line into hysteria and break down completely. I'm only vaguely aware of Madge grabbing my crying son away from me and the feel of a needle in my arm before everything goes black.

I wake up in my compartment to the sound of Sage screaming his little head off. "I think he's hungry," Haymitch says, helping me to sit up on the bed with one arm before handing me my angry son. I take him numbly, unbuttoning my shirt without any thought about trying to cover myself in front of Haymitch. Sage latches onto my breast and goes quiet as tears stream down my cheeks.

While my baby nurses, Haymitch tries to tell me about the plan to rescue Peeta. Paylor has to regroup and evaluate their strength now that they've reached the City Circle. Once they've done that and planned their attack, they will go in and extract Peeta at the same time as they move against Snow himself. He rambles on for several minutes, but I barely listen. The only thing I can feel right now is fear. Fear of what Snow could do to my husband, the father of my son, who is rooted so deep down in my heart now that there's no way I could ever live without him. I guess I really am my mother's daughter.

Keep up the illusion, Haymitch had said when that propo came out saying Peeta had been killed. Keep up the illusion. But Peeta wasn't dead then, and I'm a terrible actress. It was hard for me to maintain the illusion that he was dead when I knew he wasn't.

But this. This is different. This time it's no illusion.

This, is real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are very tough right now. I hope you're all sticking with me. It will turn around, I promise! ❤️
> 
> Please don't forget to comment!


	26. Real or Not Real

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some scenes describing torture. It is not overly graphic, but please be warned.

PPOV

I shake my head, triggering another swirl of nausea and making my head pound so hard I see spots.

_My name is Peeta Mellark. I'm from District 12. Katniss is my wife. I love her. She loves me. We have a son._

"Now, now," Snow says. "It's considered impolite not to at least look at the person who is speaking to you."

 _I don't care,_ I say in my head, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to block out the scent of the roses which has filled the entire hallway by now. I hear the slide of a heavy key turning in a lock and my cell door opening. Rough fingers grip a handful of my hair and jerk my head around.

"Open your eyes," the gruff voice of Romulus Thread commands. When I don't comply he pulls me by my hair up to my feet before punching me hard in the stomach. I double over gasping, tears welling in my eyes at the pain.

"I'm afraid your little rebellion has come to an end, Mr. Mellark," Snow continues. "It seems like no one knows what to do now that you're, shall we say, indisposed. Now. This can be very easy or very difficult, it's really up to you. If you choose to cooperate, I can make sure that you're allowed to see Miss Everdeen, and the child known as Sage, one more time before the end-"

"You stay away from them!! Don't you touch them!" I scream without thinking. I mentally kick myself a second later for confirming that Sage exists, but it's too late to take it back now.

The hand holding me up by my hair releases suddenly and I drop to the concrete floor in a heap, right before the tip of a steel-toed boot finds the side with my broken ribs. I cough and sputter, choking on a mouthful of blood as I curl into a ball, trying to protect myself from more impacts.

"It seems that living in Thirteen all this time hasn't improved your barbaric District 12 manners," Snow snarls. "I'll leave you here for a while, see if you decide to change your mind."

_My name is Peeta Mellark. I'm from District 12. Katniss is my wife. I love her. She loves me. We have a son. I'll die to keep them safe._

I'm not exactly sure how long the while is, only that I seem to pass out from the pain at some point. As I slowly come to I realize that my wrists are shackled above my head to a support in the ceiling and my prosthesis is missing. My remaining foot can reach the floor only barely past my toes, leaving my arms feeling like they're going to be ripped from their sockets. My back feels like it's on fire. As I become more aware of myself and my surroundings, I can feel the sticky streams of blood flowing down my skin and pooling at the waistband of the paper-thin shorts I'm wearing.

I'm being flogged. By Peacekeeper Thread. Again. And this time it doesn't seem like he stopped at the requisite ten lashes.

"Aaahhh!!" I scream as the whip flays against my skin, ripping another deep line of demarcation on my body. I gasp, trying to inhale against the pain in my side from the broken ribs, causing me to sputter and spray droplets of blood all over the floor of the cell.

"That's twenty lashes," Thread snarls. He walks around to my front, tapping the handle of his whip against his gloved palm. "We got to sixteen before you passed out. Quite impressive. I wonder though, how many lashes Miss Everdeen could take before she would pass out? Do you think it would take more, or less?"

"You leave her alone!" I yell, wincing as pain lances through me. "Don't you dare touch her!"

Thread laughs. A horrible, bloodthirsty laugh that chills all the remaining blood in my body. "And why would I do that?" he asks. "When we're having so much fun here? Don't you want your pretty little wife to join you?"

My eyes are practically swollen shut already, but I squeeze them closed the rest of the way and shake my head. "Leave her alone. Please leave her alone."

_My name is Peeta Mellark. I'm from District 12. Katniss is my wife. I love her. She loves me. We have a son. Please don't hurt them._

The sound of another pair of footsteps forces its way through the ringing in my ears. "President Snow says that's enough for today," a voice says. Thread throws one final lash in for good measure before releasing my wrists. Collapsing clumsily to the floor, I crawl towards the corner of the cell, leaning my shoulder against the bars, whimpering against the almost unbearable pain. A bucket of cold water is dumped over my head, washing most of the blood off of me and towards the drain in the middle of the floor.

I hear Thread's heavy footsteps leaving the cell and the metal door locking in place. I keep my eyes closed, willing myself to think of Katniss and Sage. Who knows if I'll ever see them again.

_I remember the first time I saw her. Her hair was in two braids instead of one, and she was wearing a red plaid dress. She was holding her father's hand on the first day of school. My father crouched down to me and pointed to her with her family._

_"See that little girl?" he said. "I wanted to marry her mother, but she ran off with a coal miner."_

_I remember I was confused. Why would a Merchant girl marry a boy from the Seam, especially when she could've married my father and had all the cookies that she could ever want? "Why would she do that?" I asked my father._

_He looked wistful for a few seconds. "Because, when he sings, even the birds stop to listen."_

_I remember watching her the whole day, and when we got to music assembly and the teacher asked if anyone knew the Valley Song, her hand shot straight up so fast she almost tipped over. And then she climbed up onto a stool and sang. And I remember looking out the window to see if the birds stopped to listen. And they did. And it was then when I realized, that I was a goner._

_My name is Peeta Mellark. I'm from District 12. Katniss is my wife. I love her. She loves me. We have a son. I hope they are okay._

Whether I actually fall asleep or just simply pass out again could be open to interpretation, but regardless as to how, I'm awakened by the feel of two rough pairs of hands picking me up and strapping me down onto a cold metal table. It's lined with a sort of paper which sticks to the open wounds on my back. I feel the pinch of a needle in my arm and cringe as the burning hot liquid is injected. Instantly my head starts to swim.

"Tell me, Mr. Mellark," President Snow's syrupy voice says. "Tell me more about the child. His name is Sage, correct? Such a lovely name for the child of a hunter and a baker."

"I'm not telling you a goddamn thing," I say hoarsely. Every single word is painful, like it's being torn from my chest. I force open my puffy eyes to look straight at him. "So you'll just have to kill me, 'cause I'm not telling you anything."

The room looks strange. Like it's been glossed over with yellowish or orangish paint. President Snow looks even worse. There's a halo of yellow surrounding his stark white hair and two trails of blood dripping out of his mouth. Right where fangs would be on an animal. The smell of the roses is so strong it feels like I'm buried in them. _What the hell?_

"We'll see if you change your mind after a couple more treatments," the animal Snow says menacingly. "In the meantime, enjoy your stay."

_I'll never forget that day. That horrible day in April when the rain was coming down in icy sheets. I'd noticed she'd been looking thinner and thinner since the mine explosion that killed her father. There were rumors floating around that her mother was too out of it to find work. Each day I was determined to try and help her, but knowing somehow that if I approached her at school it wouldn't end well. Even slowly starving to death, she still had her Seam pride._

_Despite the icy rain falling outside, we still had the kitchen door open since it was always so hot in the back with the ovens going. Suddenly I jumped as my mother stomped over to the door and started yelling. "Get away from here, you Seam brat! I'm so tired of your lot pawing through my trash! Get out before I call the Peacekeepers on you!"_

_I dared to take a peak around from behind my mother and was shocked to see her, standing there in the rain, soaked to her skin and looking weaker than I'd ever seen her. I watched her replace the lid on the trash bin and stumble over to the old apple tree. She sank down to the ground under the tree, like her legs couldn't hold her up anymore, and that's when I knew exactly what I needed to do._

_There were two loaves of expensive raisin and nut bread in the oven that were ready to come out. I stepped around my mother, grabbed a spatula, and knocked the two hearty loaves into the oven fire._

_Almost instantly the smell of baking bread was replaced by the smell of burning bread. I watched them, waiting for just the right time to fish them out of the fire, but my mother saw what was happening and grabbed the tongs, pulling them out of the fire and throwing them into my arms. The hot bread seared across my skin, but it wasn't anything I hadn't felt before. Neither was the hard smack across my cheek a split second later._

_"Feed it to the pig, you stupid creature," mother yelled at me. "No one decent will buy burned bread!"_

_That was entirely the point, I thought as I walked out through the mud, tearing off small pieces and throwing them at the pig. When I heard the tinkling of the front door bell and the sound of my mother disappearing to the front of the bakery, I checked once behind me before tossing first one loaf and then the other at her. She hesitated for only a couple seconds before picking them both up and stuffing them under her shirt. I watched her stumble back in the direction of the Seam, the burning pain of the wheal on my cheek nothing compared to how agonizing it was to see the girl I loved ready to give up on herself._

_My name is Peeta Mellark. I'm from District 12. Katniss is my wife. I love her. She loves me. We have a son. I'll probably never see them again._

The next day is pretty much the same. Three Peacekeepers descend on me like a pack of mutts before dragging me back to the table. More fiery hot liquid is injected into my arms. President Snow is frustrated with me. It seems like whatever they're shooting into me isn't having the effect he thinks it should. They try bigger doses. They show me footage of Katniss attacking me after my interview at the Games, when I confessed to all of Panem that I had a crush on her. They show footage of the tracker jacker nest landing on us as we slept under her tree in the arena. But whatever they're trying to do, it doesn't seem to be working. The only things that seem to be changing are President Snow and Peacekeeper Thread, who look more like monsters and less like people each time I see them. But after everything I've been through, seeing monsters isn't as frightening to me as the thought that I'll never see Katniss or Sage again.

_We first made love the day she took me to her father's lake. So overwhelmed by the feeling of actually being inside her for the first time, I wasn't able to last long enough for her to climax. She assured me that it was fine, and I resolved to make it better for her the next time._

_That evening, after our confrontation with Gale, we made love again. I made sure she'd climaxed before I entered her, but again I finished too fast for her to come with me inside her. After cuddling for a while, she got up to use the bathroom and brush her teeth. I was feeling ashamed and inadequate by then. What the hell was wrong with me? My brothers had all these stories about making girls practically sing their names during sex, and I couldn't even get my wife off during it._

_After I peed and brushed my teeth, I returned to the bedroom. She was lying on the bed, still naked, holding her arms open for me. I laid down next to her and wrapped her in my arms, holding her as close as our skin and bones would allow. She had her head lying on my chest, her body so still for a while I thought she'd fallen asleep._

_Then I felt her fingertips caress me, running through the sparse hair on my chest. Her lips followed, trailing across my chest and neck and up to my mouth. I could taste the mint from our toothpaste on her tongue. Her hair smelled like the forest where we'd spent our day. I was fully hard again in about thirty seconds. I rolled us so I was on top of her and she hitched her legs around my waist, begging me with her eyes._

_"You're not too sore?" I asked her._

_She shook her head, nudging my backside with her heel, pulling my head down for another kiss. I checked to make sure she was ready and slipped inside her. I whispered into her ear how much I loved her. How I couldn't imagine my life without her. How I didn't have the words to describe how amazing she felt around me. And that time I was able to hold myself off long enough for her to finish. She cried out my name as she came, and I'll never forget the look of pure pleasure on her face. A look only I could give her._

_My name is Peeta Mellark. I'm from District 12. Katniss is my wife. I love her. She loves me. We have a son. I miss them terribly._

"We need to try a different approach," I hear someone say once I'm re-strapped to the table. The paper lining the table seems to be coated with something, because every time they haul me back up all the wounds on my back have reopened. I'm getting weaker and weaker. They've given me just enough fluid to prevent overt dehydration, but I haven't had anything to eat since I was captured, and I can't remember the last time I needed to pee.

"What do you suggest?" Thread asks.

"I have an idea," the first voice responds. I feel a hand grabbing my hair. "Open your eyes, mutt."

I try. I really do. But my eyes are so bruised and swollen by now that it's almost impossible for me to comply. By the time I'm able to pry them open, Thread has fitted a device over my head designed to force my eyes to stay open. I'm not even allowed to blink anymore.

"Watch the screen," Thread commands. I feel the rush of hot liquid flowing into my veins as the picture lights up. It's Katniss and Sage, I think at the training section of Thirteen. They're watching me train. After a couple of minutes I run over and give them both a kiss.

More burning liquid is injected. The footage begins again, but this time it's different. Sage has disappeared. Katniss is still there, watching, but refuses my kiss when I approach her. She presses her hand against my chest and pushes me away, refusing to meet my eyes. _Not real. It's not real. But where did Sage go? And why doesn't she want to kiss me anymore?_

They show it again. And again. And again. Each time I can feel my heart break a little more. _Where did our son go? Why won't she look at me? Answer me, please! Where is he??_

"Do you see that, mutt?" Thread's raspy voice gloats. "Your child is dead. He was killed by the people in District 13. He's gone. And Katniss doesn't love you. She doesn't love you anymore. She never wanted marriage or children. She never wanted you, and now that her child is dead she's done with you."

"It's not real!!" I yell as loud as I can, before crying out from how much it hurts to yell.

Thread laughs. A cold, calculating, heartless laugh. "Are you so sure about that? I guess we'll find out more tomorrow, won't we, mutt?"

_My name is Peeta Mellark. I'm from District 12. Katniss is my wife. I love her. I think she loves me. We had a son. Our son might be dead._

The next day I'm startled awake in my cell by the sounds of shells exploding outside. The war has finally reached the Tribute Center. Good. Maybe I can die now. I hear the door to the hallway swing open, the noises from the shelling outside growing louder.

"The President has authorized use of a lethal dose," I hear Thread say as he and another person walk down the hall. My cell door is unlocked. I'm picked up and thrown down onto the table. Instead of the usual single injection of the yellow liquid, through my slitted eyes I see them hook an IV up to my arm, setting up some sort of continuous infusion. The footage of Katniss pushing me away is set up on a repeating loop, the sound turned up to full volume so I can hear her rejecting me over and over, and over...

"If there's any attempt at a rescue, mutt, this pump is designed to shoot the entire volume into you at once," Thread says to me. "It's a lethal dose. Because if we have to burn, then you're gonna burn with us."

"C'mon, we gotta get out of here," the second person says to Thread. "The rebels have launched attacks both here and the mansion."

Thread grunts, slamming my head against the table before leaning over to rasp in my ear. "I guess I'll see you in hell, mutt."

I hear their footsteps retreat down the hall and out the door. For the few seconds the door is open I can hear the sounds of soldiers shouting. And gunfire. Lots of gunfire. There must be other high-profile people here that they're trying to capture, because I would guess that Snow would be holed up in his mansion right now.

"Stop!! Please, stop!!" I yell at the screen that won't stop repeating Katniss's voice, telling me not to come near her. Not to touch her. That she doesn't love me anymore. I want to be able to die remembering when she did love me. When we were happy. But Snow has seen to it that I'll die with the sounds of her rejection reverberating through my head.

_"It was all for the Games? How you acted?" I asked her._

_She gripped the flowers I gave her a little tighter. "Not all of it."_

_"Then how much? No, forget that. I guess the real question is what's going to be left when we get home?"_

_"I don't know," she said. "The closer we get to District 12, the more confused I get."_

_I wait for her to say something else, but she doesn't. "Well, let me know when you work it out," I said bitterly._

_Then I walked back onto the train and hid in my room for the rest of the trip. She had rejected me. After everything we'd been through together in the Games, she'd rejected me._

I'm barely conscious when I hear the door reopen. "Rye! He's in here!" someone calls. I think it's Finnick but I can't be sure. Several sets of footsteps clatter in the hall towards the table where I'm strapped down.

"Peeta? Peeta, hang on. We're here to help you!" the voice that sounds like Finnick says.

"No," I mumble. "Can't- Don't ... touch... It doesn't matter anymore anyway..."

"Be extra careful with him, boys. This is my little brother," Rye says. "Peeta, don't move buddy. We're gonna get you out of here. Katniss is already on her way here to see you."

"No," I say, a little louder. "Don't touch it. Don't touch it!"

"He looks awful. We should wait for the stretcher. He might have several broken bones," a third voice says.

"All right. Get that pump thing off of him," Rye commands. I force one eye open to see a pair of yellowish hands reaching for the pump, pulling it off the stand it's hooked to.

"No!" I manage to choke out before I feel the hot liquid blaze a trail through my body. My heart starts beating so fast I feel my limbs go numb. _This is how it ends._

"Guys, something's wrong!" Finnick cries. "His eyes just rolled back into his head. Get that needle out of his arm! Get it out of him! Now!"

_My name is Peeta Mellark. I'm from District 12. Katniss is my wife. I love her, but she doesn't love me anymore. We had a son. Our son is dead. I want to die. Please, just let me die..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting close to the end! I'm guessing there will be about four chapters left.
> 
> I'm geekymoviemom on Tumblr too, come and say hi!
> 
> And please don't forget to comment. ❤️


	27. In the Capitol

KPOV

Madge and I are huddled in the hovercraft, Haymitch across the aisle from us and Sage snoozing against my chest as we fly towards the Capitol. My game bag, stuffed with our few precious belongings, is on the seat next to me. Rye got word to us late last night that they'd been able to find and rescue Peeta, and I threw an all-out tantrum demanding that I be taken to him as soon as possible. Coin tried to tell me that she couldn't spare any hovercrafts but after Plutarch intervened, saying it would be bad publicity for the Mockingjays to be denied a prompt reunion, she managed to find one. Plutarch had wanted Peeta's rescue filmed as well, but I had adamantly refused to allow any footage taken of Peeta before I was able to see him.

Annie and Johanna are here too, having no real reason to stay in Thirteen with the rest of us Victors heading for the Capitol. Annie's spent the whole trip fidgeting with her hair and talking to herself while Johanna's been asleep almost the whole time. My mother, Prim, and Beetee left on a separate hovercraft a few hours earlier, as soon as Rye confirmed Peeta was alive, so they could be at the Capitol hospital to take care of him. Rye said Peeta was badly hurt, and he only wanted our personnel looking after him until they could better vet the Capitol doctors.

I haven't been able to sleep more than a few minutes here and there since Rye told us Peeta'd been captured. Every time I closed my eyes I'd see horrible images of him being tortured or beaten. Rye told us that when the rebels captured President Snow in his mansion he was laughing maniacally about how even though he'd lost the war, he still managed to destroy the Mockingjays.

Mockingjays. Creatures the Capitol never intended to exist. Look at all the trouble they caused.

A car is waiting for us once we land, driven by a member of Commander Paylor's personal security team. Fully aware of everything that's been going on with President Coin, Paylor isn't taking any chances with her own safety. The security man takes us directly to the hospital nearest the City Circle, assuring Annie that Finnick is there waiting for her.

As soon as we arrive I shoot out of the car, past Finnick waiting by the doors and running inside the hospital, with Haymitch at my heels calling for me to slow down.

"I need to see him!" I say, looking around frantically for anyone I might recognize. A nurse directs us to the fourth floor, telling us that Peeta's in the intensive care unit and Rye is waiting for us outside of his room.

As soon as the elevator doors open Rye is standing there to greet us. He's still dressed in his combat uniform and looking like he's aged ten years in the last week. His face is filthy, his hair is matted, and there's a look of defeat in his blue eyes, so similar to his brother's but still so very different. Madge jumps right into his arms, dirty uniform and all.

"Sage and I need to see Peeta," I say, turning away from the lovers' reunion.

"Katniss, no, you can't go in there," Rye's says from behind me. I feel his hand wrap around my arm and turn me around, his other arm firmly wrapped around Madge's waist.

"Why not?" I ask frantically. "I need to see him, he needs me there with him-"

"Katniss!" Rye yells, startling me into a temporary silence. Sage lets out a tiny whimper and Rye winces. "I'm sorry Katniss," he says, much quieter this time. "But you can't go in there right now. Beetee says they're still working on him."

I let out a sob and drop my face into Sage's blond curly hair, hugging him tighter to me. After all these days of not knowing if Peeta was even still alive, to have him back now but not be allowed to see him is agonizing.

"But why?" I say as a tear runs down my face. "What's wrong with him?"

Rye sighs heavily. "I'll let Beetee and your mom explain it in more detail, Katniss. But suffice it to say that right now they're not sure exactly what Snow did to him yet, and they have to make sure Peeta's not... dangerous."

My eyes widen in shock. "What do you mean, dangerous?" Haymitch asks sharply. "How could he possibly be dangerous?"

Rye looks at me, his face more sad than I've ever seen him. "Do you remember what Snow did to that Victor, Gloss? The guy who tried to kill me? They think Snow might've tried to do that to Peeta too. He was hooked up to the jacker venom when we found him."

"Oh no. No, no, no," I gasp. I feel myself sway, like my legs can no longer hold me up. Rye notices and quickly guides me to a nearby bench in the hallway. Haymitch sits down next to me, his head in his hands. Sage is looking around, his grey eyes wide in excitement at all the bright colors around us.

"I'll go and find Prim," Madge says after a couple minutes. "She might know some answers to our questions."

"Just knock on the door," Rye says to her. "She can come out and explain things."

Madge returns with both Prim and Beetee a couple minutes later. I spring to my feet to hug my sister. "When can I see-"

"You don't want to see him yet, Katniss," she interrupts me. "Let us fix him up a little more first. I really don't want you to see him like this."

I press my fist to my mouth, begging myself not to cry. "How bad is he? I need to know, Prim. Please tell me."

Prim sighs, probably debating how much to tell me. "His ribs that were broken in District 2 are broken again. He was whipped again, so we have him lying on a special fluid bed that's designed to treat deep wounds. He had four dislocated fingers and one broken wrist that we fixed. He has a concussion. His left orbital bone was fractured but we've already fixed that. His prosthesis wasn't with him when he was found and his stump is infected, but not as bad as it was when he first got to Thirteen. He has track marks up and down both arms and he's covered in bruises and scrapes. And I think that's everything."

I inhale and exhale shakily, still trying to keep my tears reined in. I feel Haymitch's hand on my shoulder. "His hands... will he be able to paint again okay? What about baking?"

"We've already fixed his fingers and his wrist, Katniss," Prim says. "We're in the Capitol now, with access to all of their medicines and medical technology. His hands will be just fine. We've already healed the orbital fracture and are working on his ribs now. The scars on his back will be very faint by the time we're done with that treatment. And Beetee's already asked for a new prosthesis to be made for him."

"What about... what about the venom? The tracker jacker venom? Rye said they injected him with it. That it was running into him when they found him."

Prim looks at Beetee, silently asking him to take over. Beetee clears his throat.

"It looks as though Snow had some sort of infusion set up when Rye's group found Peeta, but judging from the track marks on his arms they probably were giving him the venom in individual doses up until that point. From what we understand, Snow wasn't trying to get Peeta to do or say anything. It really looks like Snow was just torturing him out of spite."

A sob escapes from my throat. If that information was supposed to make me feel better it failed miserably.

"Snow only had Peeta for less than a week, Katniss, so we feel fairly confident that once all the venom is out of his system he'll be fine," Beetee says, trying to sound reassuring. "But it's going to be a few days before we know for sure. Right now there's so much venom in his blood it's a miracle he's even still alive. The medic had to restart his heart before they were able to leave the Tribute Center."

I nod my head, feeling the pressure of Haymitch's hand on my shoulder holding me up. "So when can I see him?"

Beetee sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose. "He's in critical condition right now since his heart rate is so elevated, but it's slowing down gradually as the venom is metabolized. I'd still recommend that you wait a while though, more for your sake than his. He looks pretty terrible right now I'm afraid."

"But I want to help him!" I turn my head into Haymitch's chest and feel his arms wrap around me. I know it's hurting him almost as much to see Peeta like this. He loves Peeta too.

"It's okay Sweetheart," he says. "Peeta's not going anywhere, so why don't you try and get some rest and we'll see if we can see him tomorrow."

"There's no way I'll be able to sleep," I mumble. "Not with him so sick."

"For your son's sake you should try," Beetee says kindly. "We've got a little room set up down the hall that you can stay in for as long as it's necessary. It's one of the rooms usually reserved for the on-call doctors."

"C'mon Katniss, let's get you and Sage settled," Haymitch says, tugging on my arm and walking me down the hall. Prim is there waiting by the door. The room is tiny, with only a single bed in the corner, a TV hanging from the ceiling, and a door that leads to a small bathroom, even smaller than ours was back in Thirteen. But at least there's a window. I can see the snow-covered mountains in the distance.

"Let me hold Sage while you clean up," Prim says, handing me a set of clothes that she calls scrubs along with a toothbrush, toothpaste, and comb. "There's even a real nursing bra in there for you. Please Katniss, you'll feel so much better after a shower."

Feeling numb, I hand my son over to his auntie and take the toiletries into the tiny bathroom. I strip out of my grey shirt and pants and ball them up, hopefully to never wear them again. The shower is small and doesn't have nearly the amount of buttons as the ones in the Tribute Center, but I manage to find a simple setting with the hottest water I can stand. The towels are as fluffy as I remember the Capitol's towels being, and the scrubs, although designed for medical personnel to wear, are so much lighter and softer than the clothes from Thirteen that I spend at least five minutes running my hands over the fabric.

Prim is sitting on the little bed with Sage when I exit the bathroom, showing him some pieces of what looks like clear plastic tubing. "I hope it's okay, but I cut up some of the IV tubing and knotted it up to make a couple of toys for him since we don't have any baby toys here. They're safe for him to put in his mouth. And do you want me to find a portable crib for him? This bed's pretty small."

"He's never slept in a crib and I doubt he would," I say. "We'll be fine."

"All right then." She reluctantly hands Sage back to me, kissing him on his cheek and tickling him under his chin. He gurgles and swats adorably at her nose.

I reach with one arm to hug my sister. "Thank you so much, Prim," I say, feeling the tears start to flood my exhausted eyes. "For everything."

She nods her head, looking so much older than her fourteen years all of a sudden. "Katniss," she says. "I know this whole thing with Peeta is terrible for you, but you can't lose hope. Snow only had him for a few days, and once he's able to wake up you'll see that he'll be okay. He loves you, and he'll come back to you."

My throat is raw from trying to hold back my tears. "I hope so."

Prim checks the clock. "I should go and relieve Mom for a while. Is there anything else I can do for you now?"

I look down at my son, gnawing happily on a piece of knotted tubing. "No," I whisper. "I'll see if I can get him to take a nap. His sleep has been all messed up since..."

"You should try and get some sleep too," Prim says softly. "It's not doing Peeta any good for you to be like this."

Two tears escape my eyes. "I can't. I won't be able to sleep... not until I know he's okay."

My sister sighs. "All right. Once Rye gets cleaned up I'll send him to get some food for you. Is there anything special that you'd like?"

"No," I say. I highly doubt I'll want to eat anything, but I've already noticed my milk supply dipping. "Actually, yes. I'd like anything that we couldn't get in Thirteen."

A couple hours later Rye, now dressed in some sort of captain's uniform, knocks on the door with a tray of food for me. Fluffy rolls, steaming noodles with a white wine sauce, and hot chocolate. It looks exactly like something Peeta and I ate while we were here before our Games. And I eat the entire meal, just like I did then.

Sunlight streams through the window in the morning. Sage yawns and stretches his little body before opening his eyes and reaching for me. I've been sitting up the whole night leaning my head against the corner, flipping through the recipe book and watching the moon travel through the sky, my hand protectively resting on my son while he slept. I might've dozed off a couple of times but I can't be sure.

Madge and Rye knock on the door with breakfast an hour later, telling me that my mom said I could go and see Peeta once I'm done eating. Madge even offers to take Sage with them for awhile so I can be alone with Peeta. Once the baby is changed and secure in the wrap on Madge I kiss his cheek, telling him to be a good boy for his aunt and uncle. My son is lucky to have so many people who love him.

My heart pounds as I push open the door to Peeta's room. He's lying there on the bed, all kinds of tubes and wires running into his skin, which is covered in bruises and scrapes from head to toe. His arms and good leg are rigid in their restraints and his jaw is tense. I can't see his beautiful eyes because they're swollen shut. As I reach the side of his bed I can see his hands moving, slowly clenching into fists so tight his knuckles turn white, then unclenching again after a few seconds that seem like an eternity. My mom stands off to the side, writing numbers down on a paper attached to a clipboard.

_My sweet Peeta. What have they done to you?_

"Mom," I choke out. "He looks like he's in so much pain. Can't you give him something to help him relax?"

Mom shakes her head. "We have him sedated, Katniss," she says quietly. "But we also need him to fight against the venom coursing through him so we can't have him under too deeply. And he is. He is fighting it, Katniss. He's fighting it and he'll beat it. We just have to be patient with him."

I feel my lower lip quivering as I nod. Mom slides a chair over to Peeta's bedside and motions for me to sit down. "I know you haven't been sleeping lately, so I'd like to tell you to go and rest a little. But I know you won't, so at least sit down before you fall over."

I slowly sink into the chair. "Madge took Sage for me for a little while," I mumble, not taking my eyes off my husband's bruised and swollen face. I so badly want to run my fingers over the creases in his forehead and rub his cheek, all the things he likes for me to do when he's upset or anxious. "Can I touch him? My touch is usually comforting to him, maybe it'll help?"

Mom thinks for a few seconds and then nods. "Yes, go ahead," she says. "But if you feel him make any sudden movements get back immediately, do you understand? We have no way of knowing what lies President Snow tried to program into him, but I'd bet they had a lot to do with you and Sage."

I gulp, trying to force horrible thoughts of the lies Snow tried to poison Peeta with out of my head. I tentatively reach my hand up and touch his arm that's closest to me. I see him press his lips together, just for a second, but nothing else happens. I take a deep breath and reach my other hand over to gently cup his face.

"You're gonna be okay, Peeta," I whisper. "You're gonna wake up and everything will be okay. The war is over. You guys beat Snow. And that means we can go home soon. That means we can build your bakery, and I can hunt again, and we'll be so happy there with our baby. You remember our baby, don't you? His hair is getting thicker now, and he started sucking on his thumb a few days ago and it's so cute Peeta. He's just so sweet, but he misses you so much so you need to come back to us. We need you to come back to us."

And I swear I see his jaw relax and the tiniest hint of a smile appear on his lips, just for a fraction of a second before his jaw tenses up again. "I'm going to stay right here until you wake up," I tell him. "I'm not going anywhere until you wake up, and then I'm going to put you somewhere safe where nothing bad can ever touch you again."

I carefully run my fingertips along his jaw, feeling the stubble along his jawline, and down his neck to his chest. I can see the muscles in his body relax as my touch washes over him so I keep going. Down his arm, across his stomach and back up again. Finally I lean over and kiss his cheek gently, trying to avoid the worst of the bruises. "I love you," I whisper into his ear, and I hear his breath hitch. His hands aren't clenching as tightly now. I pull my chair as close to his bed as I can and lean forward, holding his hand and feeling it tightening around my fingers. And then I start to sing softly the song that's always able to calm him down after a nightmare.

  
_Just close your eyes, the sun is going down_

_You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now_

_Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound_

 

I don't realize I've fallen asleep until I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder. I wake to see Madge holding my son, smiling and reaching for me. "He slept for a while and I just changed his diaper, but now I think he's hungry," Madge says apologetically.

"That's okay," I say quickly as I swipe my hand across my eyes. I take my son and pull my shirt up, latching him on as Madge watches with rapt attention.

"I can't wait to have our baby," Madge says, reaching over to pat Sage's foot. There's a definite rounding of her stomach now where her and Rye's baby is growing inside her. "Sage is just the sweetest little thing, and it'll be so much fun to raise our children together, don't you think?"

Tears start to roll down my face, and I look down into the grey eyes of my son as he nurses. "Yeah," I whisper. "They'll be so lucky to have each other."

Madge puts her hand on my shoulder. "Peeta will be okay, Katniss. He's so strong, and he loves you and Sage so much, there's nothing Snow could've done to him to make him forget that."

"I hope so."

Two days later Peeta still hasn't woken up, although Mom says he's getting close as his heart rate has finally returned to normal and he's not nearly as stiff as he was. I've been sitting here in the chair by his bed the whole time, letting Sage sleep in the wrap on me during the night. But I'm not able to relax at all and Sage, sensing my tension, doesn't sleep all that great either. So the next morning Haymitch insists that I go and sleep in my room for a few hours with Sage while he watches over Peeta. I try to protest but Mom and Prim both join in on Haymitch's side, and I find I'm too tired to argue. After a quick shower and a change of clothes, I lay Sage down on the tiny bed and nurse him to sleep and surprisingly, I'm able to fall asleep as well.

But it feels like I've only been asleep for a few minutes when I hear a commotion out in the hallway. I sit up groggily, rubbing my eyes. Sage is still sound asleep, sucking gently on his thumb. I carefully get up and open the door to see what's going on and come face to face with my sister.

"Peeta's awake, Katniss," she says. "He's awake and he's asking for you."

I feel the color drain from my face and a lump form in my throat. "How is he?"

"He's pretty confused and disoriented right now, but he's asking for you!" Prim repeats. "You go, I'll sit here with Sage," and she practically pushes me out the door.

My heart is thumping in my chest so hard it feels like it might thump out as I walk the short distance down the hall to his room, kicking myself for not being the first face he saw when he woke up. Beetee, Haymitch, Mom, and another doctor are all standing in there when I arrive.

"Where is she?" I hear Peeta's voice saying, and there's a touch of desperation to it. "I want to see what she looks like."

"I'm here," I say quietly, coming around from behind Haymitch.

Peeta stares at me for a few seconds, his still-swollen eyes knitted in confusion. "You still look like my Katniss," he says.

What did he think I would look like? "I am your Katniss."

"Did you ever try to kill me?" he asks.

I shake my head emphatically. "No, I never tried to kill you."

He tilts his head a little. "Not even with the tracker jacker nest? In the arena?"

I swallow against the lump in my throat. "I wasn't trying to kill you then. I only wanted to get out of the tree. I didn't know you were trying to help me."

"I helped you because I loved you," he says, his eyes still confused. "Did you know I loved you?"

"I didn't know then," I say, my voice catching. "But I know now."

"And did you love me?"

Why is he using the past tense? "I _do_ love you," I say firmly.

A look of surprise comes over his face. "You still do?" he says, then shakes his head. "But you pushed me away. You wouldn't let me kiss you. You said you didn't want me near you."

"No. That's not real. I would never do that. President Snow told you lies. He told you lies to hurt you."

A hint of a smile appears on his lips. "Then you still love me?"

I step closer to the bed. "Yes! Peeta, I married you because I love you. And we have a baby son."

At the mention of Sage Peeta's face screws into a frown and he slumps back against his pillow. "Our son is dead," he says. He squeezes his eyes closed as tears leak out from behind them.

I reach over and touch his arm. He jumps slightly but opens his eyes to look at me. "No Peeta, our son isn't dead. He's just down the hall, with Prim. I-" and I look over at Haymitch. He nods in understanding and walks out of the room. "Haymitch went to get him. His name is Sage and he looks just like you."

Peeta's swollen eyes widen. "Snow told me he was dead," he whispers. "He told me he was dead, and that you didn't love me anymore."

I run my fingers down his arm to his hand and squeeze it gently. "No, he's not dead. Snow was lying to you, you'll see. And there's no way I could not love you. Not ever."

Haymitch walks back into the room a few seconds later followed by Prim carrying Sage. She hands him to me and I turn him around so Peeta can see his face. "See Peeta? He's right here."

Peeta gazes intently at the chubby face of our baby boy and his eyes blink a few times, looking between Sage and me. "He does look like me, but he has your eyes," he says in awe. "Can I touch him?"

His arms and good leg are still in restraints. I look over at my mother, silently pleading with her. She nods and moves to free one of Peeta's arms. His hand immediately goes up to touch our son's face and Sage giggles at the sensation.

"Hey little guy," Peeta whispers. I try to hide the sobs trying to escape from my chest, but I can't hide the tears that drip down my face. I can even hear Haymitch sniffing behind me.

"You see?" I say, as Sage's tiny fingers wrap around Peeta's large one and immediately pull it towards his mouth. Peeta smiles widely as Sage chomps down on his daddy's fingertip with his gums. "He remembers you."

Peeta looks down at his other arm, still in its restraints. "Can I touch you too?"

I nod at my mother, and she moves around to the other side to free Peeta's arm. I sit down on the edge of his bed with Sage still sucking gently on his finger. As soon as his arm is free he reaches over to cup my cheek and I lean into it, closing my eyes.

"You're real," Peeta whispers.

"Yes, I'm real."

"The war is over," he says. "Real or not real?"

"Real," I say. My eyes are still closed, and I can feel Peeta's thumb brushing over my cheekbone.

"Your favorite color is green," he says. "Real or not real?"

"Real. And your favorite color is orange."

Peeta considers this for a couple of minutes as Sage lets go of his daddy's finger and starts grabbing for Peeta's nose. I pull Sage away so he can't hurt Peeta, and Prim presses one of the knotted pieces of tubing into his hands.

Peeta runs his hand gently over Sage's head. "This is my son. Real or not real?"

"Real," I whisper. "This is our son."

He rubs my cheek again. "And you're my wife, real or not real?"

I bring my hand up to cover his. "Real."

A single tear works itself down Peeta's bruised cheek. "And you love me," he whispers. "Real or not real?"

"Real. So real," I say. "I could never love anyone else."

Peeta pulls my head close, pressing our foreheads together. "Katniss," he says, his voice raspy. "Can I kiss you?"

His words send a shock of warmth through my body and I shiver slightly. "You don't have to ask me," I whisper. He smiles as he cups my face with both hands and leans forward, brushing my lips gently with his own. It's a sweet, tentative kiss, and I'm just leaning in for another when I hear Haymitch clear his throat behind me. I'd forgotten there were still other people in the room.

"Why don't we, um, leave you two alone for a few minutes," he says, motioning for Prim to take Sage from me. "That's okay, isn't it?" He looks over at my mother, who nods.

"Just a few minutes," she says cautiously. "Peeta still needs a lot of rest."

"Thank you," I say quietly to my mom as I hand Sage back to Prim and they follow Haymitch and my mother out of the room. I turn back to look at Peeta. "Are you in a lot of pain?"

"Not as much as I was before you came in," he says, his eyes not leaving my face. "Can I... can I hold you?"

"I don't want to hurt you more," I whisper, remembering all the bruises and scrapes that litter his body. "We can wait until you-"

"You won't hurt me," he interrupts. "Please?"

I smile as I remove his leg restraint. "If you're sure."

He moves over in the bed and holds the blanket up for me to crawl underneath. "I'm sure."

The moment my head touches Peeta's chest I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my soul. All the anxiety and misery of the last two weeks seems to fade away as I feel the battered but still strong arms of my husband wrap around my exhausted body. I feel his lips press into my hair and I bring my hand up to his cheek, running my thumb along his cheekbone.

"You love me," he whispers. "Real or not real?"

His question floats into my barely awake consciousness. "Real," I tell him. And I fall asleep imagining a sunset setting down over the forest as Peeta gently strokes my hair.

We are two creatures the Capitol never intended to survive. Look what we showed them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for sticking with me! Things are finally starting to look up a little. :)
> 
> Please don't forget to comment! ❤️


	28. The More Things Change...

PPOV

I shudder awake, gulping for air, not remembering where I am. My heart starts to thud against my chest as I shake my head, trying to clear it of whatever nightmare caused me to wake up.

_Concentrate on what is real. My wife is real. My son is real. The war is over. We can go home soon. But... but where are Katniss and Sage??_

"KATNISS!!" I scream into the dark. My eyes quickly scan the room, looking for my wife and baby. I'm still in the hospital, the monitors are blinking and beeping softly. I was moved out of the ICU yesterday to a larger room with a bed big enough for the three of us. But the bed is cold and I'm in it alone. "KATNISS!! WHERE ARE YOU??"

The door to the small bathroom opens a second later and Katniss emerges with a look of panic on her face. In the dim light of the monitors I can see splashes of water on her pajama shirt, and she's carrying a towel in her arms. A towel that seems to be wiggling...

"Peeta! I'm here!" she says as she crosses the small space back to the bed. "Sage spit up all over himself. I was giving him a bath... I woke you up to tell you, don't you remember?"

I shake my head, feeling the sheen of sweat covering my body. I take a few deep breaths trying to calm myself. "I must've dozed off after you left. And when I woke up again you weren't here. I'm sorry..."

Katniss presses her lips to my forehead. "Now you're all clammy. Here," and she hands me the wiggling towel. "Hold him while I get you a cold cloth."

I clutch my son to my chest, inhaling the scent of his freshly washed hair. He smells like baby powder and lilacs. I pull back so I can see his face, his grey eyes so like his mother's. He smiles his gummy grin at me and reaches for my mouth with his dimpled hands. "You're real," I tell him. "You're real, and your mommy is real, and I love you both."

Katniss returns and places the cool washcloth over my forehead, blotting away the sweat from my panic attack. My throat feels raw from screaming. "There," Katniss says. "Does that feel better?"

"Yeah," I whisper. "I'm sorry I scared you."

Katniss takes Sage from me, lying him on the bed to diaper and dress him. Then she climbs back onto the bed and snuggles next to me as Sage nurses back to sleep. "Don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for. I love you."

My wife is real. My son is real. We can go home soon. Over and over again I have to remind myself of these simple things. Even though I know that Snow fed me nothing but lies about Katniss and Sage, I find myself asking her if she loves me several times a day. My heart skips a beat if I can't see where Sage is for any length of time. The doctors tell me I'll get better as time goes on, but I have a feeling I won't really start to improve much until we can leave here. My broken bones are being repaired, my bruises are fading, my wife and son are by my side, and yet I can't shake the uneasy feeling I have about this place. I need to get my family home.

I'm allowed to leave the hospital a few days later, with a brand-new prosthesis and appointments to meet with physical therapy and a Dr. Aurelius, who's some sort of head doctor. Katniss and I are given a room in the Presidential mansion, where the rest of the Victors and President Coin and her staff have been staying since they arrived. Commander Paylor and her staff, including Rye and Madge, are being housed in the guest house across the grounds from the mansion.

Rye tells us that President Coin had herself declared interim president of Panem as soon as she arrived in the Capitol, promising to plan a free election "when the time is right." President Snow is being held prisoner in the greenhouse, surrounded by his roses, waiting for execution along with Peacekeeper Thread and several other members of Snow's inner circle. Coin has arranged for all of us remaining Hunger Games Victors to attend a special meeting in a few days to discuss some final details before the executions are to be carried out by firing squad. Enobaria's body was found in the basement of the mansion when it was searched after Snow's arrest. Apparently being a Victor from District 2 couldn't even save her in the end.

We spend the morning wandering around the grounds of the mansion, enjoying being outside in the crisp spring air. We have a picnic lunch followed by a nap before Dr. Aurelius comes by for my appointment. That evening as we're finishing dinner in our room there's a knock at the door. Haymitch cracks the door a couple inches, asking if we're decent.

Katniss scowls. "What do you want, Haymitch?"

"Rye is here to see you," he replies, opening the door fully to reveal Rye and Madge along with a couple of Paylor's security people who take sentry positions outside the door. Rye and Madge take seats in the sitting area of the huge room. Katniss lays a soft blanket on the rug for Sage and sits down next to him, leaning against my good leg as I sit on the plush couch.

Rye gets right to the point. "I know you've only just recovered, Peeta," he begins, looking at me. "But I'm afraid I need to ask one more favor from the two of you."

"And what is that?" Katniss asks. I can see her trying to hide her scowl.

"Peeta," Madge says gently. "We wouldn't ask this of you and Katniss if we had any other ideas on how to get what we need. But since no one else besides the Victors have been invited to this special meeting with Coin, we need it to be the two of you."

"Why us?" Katniss asks. "Why does it have to be us? Finnick and Annie are Victors too, what about them? What about Johanna?"

Rye and Madge exchange a look. "Because," Rye says. "We think since Coin has failed so far to... remove you both, that she might now be trying to butter you up, so to speak. Try to keep you close to her. You can use that influence to get the information we need. And, because you're my brother. I don't feel like I can ask those other Victors to do something like this for me."

I shake my head, my hand stroking Katniss's silky hair. "I'm sorry Rye, but we just want to go home. Katniss and I have done enough."

"Damnit Peeta, don't you understand what we're saying?" Rye says in frustration. "Coin's not going to let you guys go home if she stays in power. She'll keep you here, or send you back to Thirteen. She's afraid of you! She's not gonna just let you guys go off and do your own thing! Like it or not, you guys have influence over the people and Coin knows it. She's going to want to keep you close by, to keep her eyes on you. Make sure your influence doesn't get in her way."

"She couldn't do that!" Katniss exclaims.

"You don't think so?" Rye retorts. "Do you really want to test that theory?"

I hear Katniss gasp. I tug on her shoulder and she picks Sage up, moving to sit on the couch next to me. I wrap my arms around them both. "This is never gonna end, is it?" I ask my brother. "We're never gonna be free of this."

Rye leans forward in his chair. "That's the thing Peeta! You can be! You can be free of it. We just need more evidence against her. Then we can arrest her and hold a real election."

"And who's 'we'," Katniss asks.

"Commander Paylor and her staff, including Rye and me," Madge answers. "She's offered to oversee a trial for President Coin and an election. Rye thinks she should run herself, but she's said she's not interested."

"And I've told her I'll write her in anyway," Rye says. "She's really the most organized, selfless, and most progressive person I've ever met, and she would be good for Panem. And I'm not the only one who thinks so. But before any of this can happen, we need the evidence against Coin."

I lean my head against the back of the couch, breathing deeply through my nose like Dr. Aurelius taught me to do when I feel extra stressed. "What exactly do you need me to do," I ask my brother.

Rye slaps his palms against his knees. "All right," he says excitedly. "It's simple really. We're going to fit you with a special listening device before you go to your Victors meeting. It'll record everything that's said in that meeting, and our hope is that Coin will say or do something that will implicate herself."

Katniss and I are quiet for a moment. "And if she doesn't?" Katniss asks. "What'll happen then?"

Rye's face falls. "I don't know. We're pretty much counting on this being it though. She has to be planning something big at this meeting. I can't understand why she would hold off on the executions otherwise."

"I'll do it," I say.

Katniss drops her head back against my shoulder. "Peeta," she says cautiously.

"I'll do anything to get us home," I tell her. "Because right now that's all I want. I just want us to go home."

Katniss nods her head. I press my lips to her temple, hugging her close as Rye and Madge stand up to leave.

"We'll be in touch," Rye says. "Beetee has the equipment we'll be using and he's shown me how use it, so I'll be here to fit you with it before the meeting starts."

The meeting is scheduled for two days later at 1300. Rye comes by as we're eating our lunch and fits the listening equipment to my prosthetic leg, disguising it within the mechanism where the prosthesis attaches to my stump.

"There's going to be two of Paylor's security detail stationed outside the door to Snow's office where the meeting's being held," Rye says. "And I'll be with them. As soon as I feel like we've heard enough, we'll come in and arrest her."

I swallow hard. Why do we have to meet in Snow's office? "And if you don't, you know, hear enough?"

Rye sighs. "Like I said. We're pretty much counting on her saying or doing something to implicate herself. If she doesn't, then... we'll have to wait until she does something horrible and try and take her out then. But the problem with that is, history has shown us that tyrants often start out by appeasing the masses so they become complacent. Then, by the time people realize they have absolutely no freedoms, it's too late to do anything about it."

I feel Katniss's hand on my arm and move my hand to cover hers. "Then we better hope she says what we need her to say."

Rye gives me a hug, thumping his fist twice on my back before releasing me. "You're all set," he says. "And remember. I'll be outside the room the whole time."

We've finished eating and are pacing around the room anxiously when there's a knock at the door. "Who is it?" I ask.

"It's Johanna. I need to talk to you," her muffled voice comes from the other side of the heavy door.

Katniss opens the door and Johanna steps in, her eyes immediately moving to Sage playing with a new toy on the huge bed. Effie had all sorts of rattles and teethers and small plush animals brought to the mansion as soon as she arrived from Thirteen, along with enough clothing for at least three babies.

"What can we do for you?" I ask her. She's not really the type for social calls, and she looks more nervous than I've ever seen her.

Johanna plops down on the bed next to Sage, eyeing him with a weird smile on her face. "He's cute," she says, ticking him under his chin. "The perfect combination of the two of you."

"Did you need something, Johanna?" Katniss says impatiently.

Johanna looks up at her and smirks. "I found out some news today. I'm pregnant." She scoffs, her hand picking up one of the baby's rattles and shaking it. "Surprise! I used to get a birth control shot before the start of the Victory Tour every year, since us Victors were always expected to, perform, during the Victory Tours. But I guess with everything going on with the war and all it slipped my mind that it'd been over a year since my last shot."

I see Katniss shudder next to me. So it wasn't just Finnick. And me and Katniss would've been forced to perform too if the Quell hadn't happened.

"So, I've known I was pregnant for awhile now. Since before you guys left for the Capitol. But today I found out I'm having a boy. You see, they can do all sorts of tests here in the good 'ol Capitol. They can tell you if you're having a boy or a girl. What the baby's hair and eye color will be. If they have any diseases to worry about. And do you want to know what my son will look like?"

"It's Gale's, isn't it?" I blurt out. "I mean, he. He's Gale's. He's Gale's son."

Johanna rubs her stomach. "Yes," she whispers. "And my son will have dark hair and brown eyes. And he'll grow to be 6" tall and have a size 11 foot by the time he's fourteen, and-"

"He'll be the perfect combination of the two of you," I finish. I reach down to rub her shoulder.

"I never planned on having kids," she says, looking back down at Sage. "After my Games, and with what happened to my family, I was always afraid to-"

"You were afraid to love anyone," Katniss interrupts, sliding her hand into mine. "Because you were afraid you would lose them."

Johanna nods. "I don't know if I loved Gale. Well, actually, I think I did in a way. He was so passionate about the rebellion, about taking out the Capitol. About making things better. I think maybe, deep down, I thought he could make things better for me too."

"He would have, if he had lived," I say. "He saved my life. Down in the sewers. He sacrificed himself so the rest of us could get away. He was a hero, and you can tell that to your son when he's old enough. You can tell him about how his daddy died so others could be free. So he could be free."

"Gale would want you to be happy," Katniss says. "You might think he didn't love you, but I knew Gale pretty well and I don't think he would have done, that, if he didn't care about you. I think he would've been happy with you."

Johanna scoffs and pats her belly. "Well, I'm not quite sure about that. But at least now there'll be someone left that I love."

Katniss glances at the clock after a few seconds of silence. She grabs the forest green wrap up from the back of a chair and secures Sage to her front. "It's time."

I take Katniss's hand and lead us over to the elevator that takes us to the top floor of the mansion. The security guards and Rye are standing outside the door to Snow's office. Rye nods quickly at me as we pass him, closing the door behind us.

Beetee, Haymitch, and Finnick and Annie are already here along with President Coin. Coin's pale grey eyes narrow as they sweep over Katniss, clinging to my hand with Sage sleeping against her chest. "Miss Everdeen. Is it absolutely necessary for you to take your infant everywhere you go?"

"Yes," I say firmly before Katniss can respond. I squeeze her hand. "Dr. Aurelius says I shouldn't let him out of my sight for a long time. As part of my recovery."

Coin pinches her lips together. "Very well," she says, almost in a whisper. "Please, have a seat."

I pull Katniss's chair out for her before sitting down next to her, placing our joined hands on the tabletop. As usual, Coin gets right to the point.

"I have called you here for several reasons," she begins. She taps the eraser of her pencil on the table as she studies a sheet of paper in front of her. "The first point I'd like to discuss is your new assignments."

Seven pairs of eyebrows raise suspiciously. "Our... assignments?" Finnick asks. He drapes his arm across the back of Annie's chair. "What exactly does that mean? Annie and I are planning on returning to Four to help rebuild after the executions."

Coin looks patronizingly at Finnick. "I'm afraid I can't allow that," she says. "Not yet at least. There's too much work that needs to be done here, from a strategic standpoint, and since-"

"What a minute," Katniss says, earning her a glare from Coin. "You're saying we won't be allowed to return to our home districts?"

Coin smiles her signature cold smile. "With Twelve in ruins, I can't imagine why you'd want to," she says. "But to answer your question, if I do think it's prudent for any of the Victors to leave the Capitol in the near future, then I'll have you return to District 13."

I can feel the color draining from my face, the tell-tale lump growing in my throat. My hand interlocked with Katniss's starts to sweat. Katniss notices right away. "But-" Katniss starts, before Beetee cuts her off.

"Just what sort of, assignments, are you talking about here?" he asks.

Coin taps her eraser on the table. "Whatever needs doing. Mainly the same type of work you used to do before." Finnick visibly pales at her words. "I'll be busy setting up my government here in the Capitol for a while, so I imagine from time to time that I'll have need of your services. You will of course get to keep your monthly Victor stipends, so there's no need to worry about that."

"It's not about the money," Haymitch says angrily. "You're basically telling us that we can't return to our home."

"As Hunger Games Victors, you are all held up to a certain standard in this country," Coin says in a loud voice. "And I intend to uphold that standard. To protect the people. They need to see that their beloved Victors are aiding in this difficult transition as much as they can."

My heart is pounding so hard I'm surprised Coin can't hear it. She said we can't go home. We're going to be forced to stay here, in the Capitol. Surrounded by enough food and clothing and shelter but no freedom. Being at her beck and call, like a roomful of servants. Surely this is enough evidence for Rye? But he doesn't come in. Nothing happens. Maybe he can't hear what's being said? Maybe the listening device isn't working? I squirm in my seat, pulling at the collar of my shirt as it seems too tight all of a sudden. I feel Katniss squeeze my hand. I look at her and she shakes her head slightly. I need to pull myself together or I'll give the whole thing away.

"So if that detail is settled," Coin continues. Settled? Nothing's been settled! "I'd like to move on. I've also asked you here to settle a debate. I'm planning the execution of President Snow and his colleagues for tomorrow morning. In the past couple of weeks several of his accomplices in the oppression of Panem have been tried and also await execution. However, the suffering in the districts has been so extreme at times that simply executing these people seems, insufficient. There are many people who are calling for the annihilation of all those who held Capitol citizenship. But, in the interest of maintaining a sizable population, we cannot really afford this."

I swallow thickly as Katniss drops a kiss onto the top of Sage's sleeping head. Her grey eyes meet mine. She looks scared.

"So," Coin continues. "This is the alternative that I'm proposing. In lieu of eliminating the entire Capitol population, we have a final, symbolic Hunger Games, using the children directly related to those who held the most power. I will require your vote on this matter. No one is allowed to abstain, and a majority of four will approve the plan."

Seven pairs of eyes widen at this ludicrous idea. I look around the room with my mouth gaping open. This is the best alternative Coin and her cronies could come up with? The choice between eliminating the entire population of the Capitol, or holding another Hunger Games using the children who just happened to be unlucky enough to be born here?

"Are you joking?" I ask.

"Not in the slightest," Coin replies. "And I should also tell you that if we do hold the Games, it will be known that it was done with your approval, although the individual breakdown of the votes will be kept secret. For your own security."

Oh, well. That makes all the difference! Let the people know that we voted for the Games so they know who to blame!

"You want to hold another Hunger Games, using the Capitol's children?" Johanna asks.

"Was this Plutarch's idea?" Haymitch asks.

"No," Coin says proudly. "It was mine. You may cast your votes now."

There's silence around the room. No one wants to be the first to speak. I hear Sage sigh in his sleep next to me, wrapped up on his mommy. Was this what it was like seventy-five years ago? Did a group of people really just sit around a table and decide that the best way to punish the districts was to start the Hunger Games? We haven't grown as a nation at all with this rebellion if we let this continue.

"I vote no," Katniss says, her arms tightening around our son.

"No," Beetee says. "We need to stop viewing each other as enemies.

"No," says Annie. Finnick laces their hands together before agreeing with her.

Johanna rubs her hand up and down her stomach. "No," she says.

"No," I say, my voice clear despite the marble-sized lump in my throat. "Of course not. This is ridiculous."

Coin is glowering as she looks at Haymitch, the only one of us who hasn't yet spoken. He glances in our direction, nodding. "I'm with the Mockingjays," he says.

"I see," Coin says softly. "I'll admit I was hoping to have your support on this matter. Perhaps over time you will all come to realize how important it is for me to have your full cooperation in these types of things." She stands up from her chair, leaning against the table on her fists. "Very well. The executions will proceed on schedule tomorrow morning. After that, I will announce the Games."

"But we all voted no!" I say as I scramble to my feet. "Every one of us voted no!"

Coin smiles slightly. "Your approval was for symbolic reasons only. I planned to go ahead with the Games regardless of the outcome of the vote. But I will say, you did surprise me. I assumed that you would be eager for revenge."

"You can't do this!" I yell. "We fought this war to end things like the Hunger Games. We lost friends, and loved ones, to end things like the Hunger Games. Rye, don't let her do this!"

I hear Katniss's sharp inhale next to me and clap my hand over my mouth. Coin's eyes narrow dangerously. "What are you saying? Who are you talking to?"

I say nothing as I stare at her, willing my body to stop shaking as Katniss tugs on my hand. "Peeta please, just sit back down!"

The staring contest ends a few seconds later when Rye bursts into the room, his pistol drawn, followed by Paylor's two security guards. "Alma Coin," he says. "Under the authority of the rebel army of Panem, I'm placing you under arrest."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a question for my readers. I'm planning on having Snow executed, and most likely Coin as well. Who do you guys think should fire the shots? Should all the Victors participate? What about Rye? I'd love to hear your thoughts!
> 
> We're almost done! Only a couple chapters left! ❤️


	29. We're Finally Home

KPOV

Reporters call it the trial of the century. Plutarch is beside himself with glee coordinating everything, from the layout of the courtrooms to the various camera angles used to cover the trial of President Coin and ten of her closest advisors. The proceedings, overseen by a selected panel of thirteen judges, runs live on television eight hours a day for almost two weeks. Almost one hundred witnesses are called to testify, including Rye, Madge, Beetee, and Prim. Both Peeta and I are asked to testify as well, but after Rye assures us that our testimony would be mainly symbolic and not really add anything that hasn't already been said, we both decline.

The two defense lawyers argue that things were simply misunderstood. That President Coin wasn't intending to merely step into the role vacated by President Snow, but wanted instead to reinvent Panem. For her subordinates, the defense argues that they were only following Coin's orders and therefore cannot be held accountable for their actions, no matter how despicable. But, like it was so long ago, that argument is rendered invalid. In the end, it only takes the panel of judges four hours to render a guilty verdict.

The executions are scheduled for three days later. It's a beautiful, sunny morning as we take our breakfast out onto the balcony of our room, overlooking the street where Cressida is directing Pollux shooting footage of the crowd assembling in the City Circle. Sage giggles in delight at all the bright colors, clutching a small stuffed bear in one chubby hand and pulling on my braid with the other. Effie arrives about fifteen minutes later with our outfits for the day. For me there's a sapphire blue dress with strategically placed buttons in the front, along with a brand new wrap in the same color so I can carry Sage easily. For Peeta there's a pair of crisp black pants and a lighter blue shirt and tie. Even Sage has a matching little blue shirt and a pair of adorable black short pants to wear. I draw the line however at putting any makeup on him.

Once we're primped and polished and ready, Effie escorts us down to the front of the mansion, where a car is waiting to drive us the couple of blocks down the street to the City Circle. We are brought to a special set of balcony seats along with the rest of the remaining Victors, with security guards posted at each of the four corners. Once everyone is seated the prisoners are marched out in a single line, a rebel soldier wearing a helmet and sunglasses accompanying each prisoner to their own post dug into the street. The prisoners' hands are secured behind their backs and the soldiers take their places about ten yards away, facing them with rifles in their gloved hands, waiting for the order to shoot. My hand holding Peeta's starts to tremble as the lead judge from the trial steps forward to read from a scroll, announcing each of the prisoner's guilt and reason for execution. Once she's finished she nods towards a soldier standing near the center of the line, right in front of Peacekeeper Thread.

"Ready!" the soldier's loud voice rings out over the City Circle, amplified by a microphone attached to his helmet. The line of soldiers raises their rifles.

"Aim!" Peeta's arm wraps around my shoulders as I move closer to him, my hands moving up to cover Sage's ears. Thank goodness he won't remember any of this. Annie, sitting to my left with Finnick, covers her ears too.

There's a pause for a few seconds, the crowd holding its collective breath. My eyes run down the line of prisoners awaiting their deaths. The head doctor from Thirteen, who's crying and shaking his head in disbelief. President Coin staring straight ahead, her face expressionless. Peacekeeper Thread looking like he wants to rip the head off the solider standing in front of him. And President Snow smiling manically, even as a dribble of blood runs down his chin.

This is it. After this is over, we can finally go home.

"Fire!" I jump as the shots ring out, echoing across the City Circle with murmured sounds of "Oh!" heard throughout the vast crowd as all the prisoners slump forward, dead. I stare at them, making sure none of them miraculously come back to life. Not Snow, to send me into another Hunger Games. Not Thread, to beat and torture my husband again. And not Coin, to try and kill my baby while I'm too weak to stop her. I sit there so long, staring, that Peeta tugs on my elbow.

"C'mon love," he says softly. "It's over now."

I take a couple of deep breaths as Peeta helps me up to my feet, holding my arm to lead me back to the car waiting for us. After a few steps I realize Sage dropped his little stuffed bear so I turn around to go back for it. I find the bear down by the leg of my chair and pick it up, handing it back to Sage and that's when I see him. The solider who called the shots, who killed Peacekeeper Thread, removing his helmet. I'd recognize that shock of wavy blond hair anywhere. Tears of relief spring to my eyes.

_See?? You aren't a coward either. I hope now you've proved it to yourself._

The car takes us back to the mansion where there's a reception being held. Plutarch flits about, arranging for photos to be taken and going on and on about the election coming up next week. Paylor finally agreed to run so long as she at least had an opponent, but Plutarch says there's little doubt that she will carry the election. He also tells us that Paylor promised to name him Secretary of Communications once she takes office.

Peeta smiles politely, Sage sleeping against his strong chest in the sapphire blue wrap. "That's wonderful, Plutarch," he says. "But Katniss and I would like to discuss when we'll be allowed to go home."

"You can leave anytime!" Plutarch exclaims. "We're certainly not going to keep you here any longer than you want to be. But, I do implore that you at least stay through the election so you can vote. And, Miss Trinket is holding a meeting tomorrow with some of the people who are also planning on returning to District 12. There's a gentleman named Thom who has volunteered to oversee the cleanup and reconstruction projects. I believe he's here somewhere actually, if you'd like to talk to him."

"Oh how nice!" Peeta says. "We know Thom well, and I'm sure he'll do a wonderful job."

The reception lasts well into the evening and all three of us are exhausted by the day's end. As Peeta and I lie in bed that night we talk about when we should leave for District 12. He still has a few appointments left with Dr. Aurelius that he needs to keep. Also, seeing as our house was destroyed in the bombing and we're not sure yet what the plans are for new housing, we reluctantly decide to wait until some of those decisions are made. If it was only the two of us, I'd be happy setting up a tent in the Meadow if it meant we could leave here sooner, but neither of us think that would be best for Sage. After I kiss Peeta goodnight and assume my usual position with my back against his chest, an idea pops into my head.

The election goes off without a hitch and with Paylor's victory. We watch her get sworn in from the same balcony seats in City Circle and attend another reception following the ceremony. The first wave of people returning to District 12 leaves a few days later, including Thom and Delly Cartwright who got married the day before, with Peeta and me as their witnesses. Delly tells us that she'll be taking over the job of kindergarten teacher next fall, once they get the school rebuilt.

Two more weeks go by. Peeta is released from Dr. Aurelius's care with promises to follow-up by phone twice a month after we return home. Beetee heads back to Three, under orders from Plutarch to update the broadcasting network. Johanna has another prenatal appointment with my mother. One day, while wandering around the mansion, we take a wrong turn and stumble into a room filled with thousands of books, discs with films and television shows, and music chips. As we sort through the volumes, none of which we've ever seen before, it dawns on us that these were likely books and other media that have been banned since the Dark Days. We start listening to the music chips and reading some of the books. Stories about Bilbo the Hobbit and Harry the Potter, and a boy named Thomas who liked to run. Shows about a vigilante named Oliver and a team of explorers led by Daniel Jackson. Songs about love conquering all evil. With Plutarch's approval, we pick out a few to take home with us.

We also start on a Memory Book. I get the idea while flipping through the Plant Book late one night during one of Sage's feedings, and Effie has the supplies delivered the next afternoon. Peeta draws and paints the pictures, while I write down all the details it would be a crime to forget. My father teaching me about plants. Peeta's father with the cookies. Gale pulling a fat rabbit off a snare, one of my father's bows slung across his body. Rue poised on her toes, arms slightly extended, like a bird about to take flight. Boggs guarding Peeta in District 4. Cinna and Portia lighting our parade costumes. Haymitch stumbles upon us working one afternoon and his eyes go misty for a moment, no doubt remembering the twenty-three years of tributes he was forced to mentor. He promises to help us add to the book once we return to District 12.

The day prior to our departure we make a quick trip back to the hospital, making sure that Peeta's new prosthesis is working as it should. And, with Peeta's blessing, I get one of those birth control shots that Johanna spoke of. While we both love Sage very much and can't imagine our lives without him, neither of us are ready to add any more children in the next year. Since we're only eighteen years old, we decide we have plenty of time to add to our family later.

Finally the day arrives for us to leave. Effie knocks on the door early, cuddling and fussing over Sage while Peeta and I finish packing. Then she and Haymitch walk us out of the room and down to the car waiting to take us to the train station. "Take care of each other, my sweets," Effie says. "We will see each other again soon, I promise." We kiss and hug them, with Haymitch reminding us he'll be along in a few more days.

It's after midnight by the time the train pulls in the station. Sage is sound asleep against my chest as I sling my game bag over my shoulder, loaded down with our precious books and supplies. Peeta grabs the suitcase filled with Sage's clothes and toys, clutching my arm as we exit the train to find Thom waiting for us with a small motorized cart.

"Thom!" Peeta exclaims. "I didn't expect to see you here at this hour. How did you know we were coming in tonight?"

"Miss Effie made sure that the entire district knew you were coming in tonight," Thom replies with a smirk. "She said, and I quote, 'make sure everything is fabulous for their arrival'. And we sure tried. I hope you both are pleased with the progress we've made around here."

In the weeks since the trial and executions ended, Thom and his crews have managed to collect and bury the dead bodies, bulldoze and clear away most of the ruined buildings, and start construction on several new homes and businesses. Peeta doesn't know that I sought Thom out before he left for Twelve with copies of the bakery design. While Thom told me he couldn't promise to have the building completely finished, he did say that he would be sure to have the upstairs completed enough for us to live in while the rest of it was finished under Peeta's direction once we got home.

Peeta insists that Sage and I ride in the front of the cart while he sits precariously on the narrow back seat with the huge suitcase. I bite my lip, trying to keep from smiling in anticipation as we approach what is left of Victor's Village.

"Woah!" Peeta says. "What happened here?" Our house, Peeta's original Victor home, was destroyed in the bombing, but the rest of the houses were still intact when we visited here several months ago with the camera crew. Now though, the only two houses still standing are my original Victor house and Haymitch's, and I can see several smaller box-shaped houses lining the street. "Are we staying in your old house now, Katniss?"

We said goodbye to my mother and Prim early this morning at the train station as they boarded their train with Finnick and Annie, taking them all to District 4. The new administration decided to turn District 4 into a new medical hub, with the most advanced hospitals and a brand-new medical school. My mother was asked to become an instructor at the new school, teaching midwifery and emergency medicine, and Prim decided to go with her. While it was hard for me to watch them leave, I know Prim will be far happier studying medicine down by the ocean with Mom than she would be back in District 12.

I smile at Peeta and shake my head. "No. We are staying in Town tonight."

Peeta gives me a confused smile. "In Town? Where?"

"President Paylor gave us the go ahead to dismantle the Victor's Village houses that were vacant," Thom says. "We were able to salvage some of the building materials and most of the furnishings and appliances. We're planning on building a neighborhood of smaller homes out there, once we've completed our work around the Square. In the meantime, the Capitol sent those modular houses for the work crews and returning refugees to live in. That's where Delly and I are living now."

"It sure looks like you're doing good work here, Thom," Peeta says as the Square comes into view, dimly lit by the moonlight. "You can't even tell it was bombed anymore." Thom smiles, obviously proud of the job he and his crews are doing. And Peeta's right. All of the rubble has been cleared away, with skeletons of the new Justice Building and several new storefronts already constructed. Thom tells us that he hopes to have all of the main Square construction finished before winter sets in, so he and his crews can concentrate on finishing the insides of the buildings during the colder months.

As we pull into the Square I grab Peeta's hand, practically bouncing in my seat in anticipation. We're almost there.

"And here we are," Thom says as the cart comes to a stop in front of a beautiful brand-new, two-story building. Thom lifts the suitcase off the back seat as Peeta helps me down off the cart. Peeta blinks a few times, not recognizing it in the dark. I don't take my eyes off him, not wanting to miss the look on his face when he realizes where we've stopped.

"Katniss," he whispers as it dawns on him. I feel his arm wrap around my waist. "When? How? Did you do this?"

I shake my head. "All I did was give Thom copies of the drawings you made. He and his workers built it. I wanted it to be mostly done when we came home."

Peeta stares at the bakery, his eyes welling with tears. "It's even better than I'd hoped," he says. "I didn't realize it would be this big!"

"I had an architect look over your drawings before we left the Capitol," Thom says. "To make sure everything was okay, and he said that he couldn't have designed it better himself. So it's built pretty much exactly to your specifications, Mr. Peeta." He pauses for a second, clearing his throat. "We, um, also found the remains of your parents, once we dug through the wreckage. We put them in a burial box out back, so you can bury them where you'd like to, when you're ready."

Peeta tears his eyes away from the bakery to look up at Thom. "Please, call me Peeta," he says as he hugs Thom to his chest. "And I don't know how I can thank you for all of this."

"Um, well, you could start by ordering your ovens as soon as possible," Thom says with a rather sly grin. "I know I'm looking forward to the smells of fresh bread baking around here again, and I'm not the only one."

"Tomorrow," Peeta says in a dreamy voice, before leaning down and kissing my forehead. "I'll get them ordered tomorrow." He plants another kiss on my forehead. "But now I think I should get my family up to bed."

Thom digs around in his pocket, pulling out a set of keys which he hands to Peeta, along with a portable lamp. We bid him goodnight and Peeta unlocks the front door. We step inside, the smells of fresh wood and paint assaulting our senses right away. We pass the main counter piled with salvaged supplies and through the open doorway that leads to the back. The stairs taking us to the second floor apartment are unfinished and covered with a tarp to make them less slippery, but the second floor itself is completely finished save some of the more minor details. Thom even had our bed, dresser, and nightstands moved from our destroyed Victor home and placed into the master bedroom here, along with all of the clothes from our closets. The bed is made up with freshly cleaned sheets and a padded rail lining one side, to keep Sage from rolling off.

I carefully turn down the bed linens, laying Sage down on his tummy and tucking his little blanket over his back. I've barely stood back up again before Peeta's arms wrap around me and pull me close, his lips reaching for mine in the dark. When we break apart Peeta picks me up and squeezes me to his chest, planting happy kisses on my cheek. "I love you so much," he whispers once he's set me back down. "Thank you. I never imagined it would look this beautiful."

I smile, reaching up to kiss him again. "Just wait until we see it in the daylight. I'm sure we'll like it even more then."

"Hmm, I'm sure," he whispers, peppering my face with more kisses. "But right now I'd like to check out the shower." He pulls back, looking at me mischievously, his hand pulling the tie out of the end of my braid. "How tired are you?"

I thread my fingers through his thick blond hair and wink. "Not too tired."

We haven't been intimate since the night before Peeta left for the Capitol. With his capture and recovery, combined with another growth spurt from Sage and the fact that we were living in President Snow's house for over a month, neither of us have really been in the mood. I also think Peeta was afraid that we were being watched in Snow's mansion. Even though Rye swept our room for cameras and listening devices before we moved in and assured us the room was clean, Peeta told me he wouldn't feel like we had complete privacy until we returned home.

But now we are home. We are finally home.

Peeta leans over Sage, kissing him on his little cheek before taking my hand and leading me across the room and into the large master bathroom. Peeta designed our bathroom with a separate bathtub and shower, with both being big enough for us to bathe together if we wanted. He also wanted these tiny little lights built into the floor that the bathrooms in the Tribute Center had, so you can find your way around in the dark without turning on the harsh overhead lights. The soft lights are glowing like candles as he closes the door behind us. Fresh towels are hanging on the rack as Peeta's hands grasp my hips and pull me to him.

"I have missed you," he says before crushing his lips to mine, his tongue sliding into my mouth, practically devouring me. I move my hands to his shirt, working each button through its hole then pulling it down over his arms. He breaks the kiss to tug my shirt up and over my head and unclasps my bra, letting them both fall to the floor. We both kick off our shoes and socks, our lips continuing to meet and part as I fumble with Peeta's belt for several seconds. I give up with an exasperated grunt when I can't get the dumb thing to unbuckle, causing Peeta to chuckle against my lips. He pushes my pants down and turns me towards the shower. I step inside, turning on both shower heads so the warm spray can rain down over our tired but wound up bodies. Peeta finally releases his belt and pulls his pants and underwear down, kicking them aside and stepping into the shower to join me.

I made sure Thom knew that we needed both wall rails and a shower chair or bench in our bathroom, so Peeta could shower without wearing his prosthetic leg if he wanted. As soon as the door closes I push him down onto the bench, releasing his prosthesis and placing it back outside the shower. I climb onto his lap, feeling his hard erection between my legs. Peeta's arms wrap around me as his lips travel from my mouth down my neck to my collarbone. I dig my fingers into his broad shoulders, grinding my aching center against him and causing us both to gasp. Peeta squeezes me closer as his mouth finds one of my nipples, flicking it with his tongue before closing his lips over it and sucking gently. I throw my head back and close my eyes, the heat from the water along with the fire being stoked in my belly threatening to consume me.

"Katniss," Peeta rasps between trailing kisses across my chest to my other breast. "You. Are. So. Damn. Beautiful!" His large hands palm my backside and press me hard against him as our lips rejoin so clumsily that our teeth clash together.

"Peeta," I whisper as we break apart, pressing my forehead against his and still moving my hips against him. His eyes are dark and hooded, his wet curls plastered against his head, the droplets of water glistening against his pale skin. "I can't wait anymore. Please..."

"Are you sure you're ready?" Always the gentleman, even after all this time. I feel his hand slip between my legs. "I didn't make you come yet, and-"

I cut him off with a kiss, sliding my tongue against his and raising myself up so I can hover over him. I wrap my hand around his length, stroking him a couple of times before sinking completely down onto him in one move. I bite my lip, feeling a slight pinch of discomfort. It's been awhile and Peeta is big, but the pain passes quickly once I start to move.

"Fuck!" Peeta growls, his head tipping back against the wall of the shower. I feel his fingers digging into my hips as he helps me move over him. "Katniss, you feel so incredible!"

"Peeta," I whisper. "I love when you talk like that." I bring my lips down, sucking gently on his neck below his ear. "Please don't stop." He growls again and his fingers tighten on my hips as his lips travel up my neck to my ear. He sucks my earlobe into his mouth briefly before he starts whispering to me. A litany of curses fall from his full lips, describing in graphic detail how much he loves me, loves my body, loves us joined together like we are now. I wrap my arms around his neck as the coil in my belly winds tighter and tighter. Through the haze of pleasure I feel his hand slide between our wet bodies, finding my throbbing nerve bundle with his thumb. He presses against it, causing me to shudder. "Peeta!"

"That's it my love," he rasps into my neck. "I want to feel you come around me." He starts circling that spot with his thumb, pressing me tighter against him with his other arm. "Come for me, Katniss."

"Oh my God, Peeta!" I cry as my climax washes over me in waves, mingling with the water raining down over us. Peeta slams my hips against his as his eyes squeeze shut, his teeth catching on his bottom lip. I feel him swell inside me, prolonging the pleasure racing through my body as he comes with a loud groan, the sound echoing off the walls of the shower. I trail my hands up his neck to cup his face, bringing my mouth to his as his cries fade into whimpers. He leans back against the wall, lips still moving against mine, his fingertips running gently up and down the ridges of my spine.

"Oh God," Peeta mumbles against my neck after we break for air. "I can't believe we're really here. I can't believe it. Katniss, please tell me this is real!"

I lean back to look at him. At my Peeta. My painter, my baker, my lover, my husband. I brush his soaking wet hair off his forehead and kiss him on his cheekbone. Right where the bruise was the day after he threw me the bread that both saved my life and gave me hope. Right where his bone was broken by Peacekeeper Thread after he was captured. I kiss him again and run my fingers over that spot, massaging away any possible lingering traces of hurt.

"Peeta. It's real."

Tears stream down his face, disappearing into the droplets of water on his skin as he crushes me against him. We stay locked together in our embrace so long that the water starts to cool. With one final kiss, I reluctantly get to my feet and grab the shampoo, squeezing some into Peeta's palm before soaping up my own hair. We're just able to get rinsed off before the water turns icy cold. Poking my head out the door, I grab two towels off the rack, wrapping one around my body so I can help Peeta dry off on the bench. I hand him his toothbrush and pad my way back to the bedroom to grab some pajamas for us. After we're both dressed with teeth brushed, I wrap my arm around his waist to help him to bed, returning to retrieve his prosthesis and setting it up in its stand next to his side of the bed. Then I open the window, letting the cool night breeze wash over the room, hearing the sounds of crickets chirping outside.

We climb into the bed, setting down under the covers with my back against Peeta's chest and his arm over my waist, his hand resting lightly over Sage's back. I sigh in contentment and close my eyes, feeling Peeta kiss my neck one more time.

"Katniss," he whispers. "We are _home_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe there's only the epilogue remaining! I'm going to miss this story! ❤️ Please don't forget to comment, I'd love to hear what you think of the chapter!
> 
> Also, I'm going back through By Your Side and editing it. I didn't realize I had such an unhealthy obsession with adverbs and the word 'just' until I went back and reread it, so if you're so inclined, check out the improved version of that story. :)


	30. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By Your Side started with Peeta's POV and ended with Katniss, so I thought it was only fitting since Katniss started this story to have it end with Peeta.

PPOV

Shadows are falling over the Square from the setting sun as I say goodnight to Vick Hawthorne, locking the door behind him and turning the sign around to say CLOSED. I double-check the display cases and run a wet cloth over the counter before making my way to the back to complete the rest of the closing procedures.

Vick is one of a few people that I employ here at the bakery. He works the cash register and stocks the display cases every Friday evening and all of Saturday. I also have Asher who works full time for me during the week. His parents owned one of the bakeries in District 8 before the war, but as the third son in his family, thought he would be forever destined to work in one of their textile factories instead of inheriting his family's bakery. After the war, he and his new wife decided that they wanted to start over somewhere new and ended up coming to live in District 12. He's a very nice person and a talented baker, although Katniss still says she can tell the difference between his cheese buns and mine.

I smile as I hear the pattering of little footsteps above me. Rye and Madge's little boy, Graham, is staying with us this weekend while his parents are in the Capitol. Madge is due in three weeks with their second boy and is frantically trying to get as many of her Senatorial duties finished as she can before going on maternity leave. Rye, who hasn't had a real day off in over a year since he took over as head of the new law enforcement division, decided to take the weekend off and accompany his wife to the Capitol, cramming in a little alone time for the two of them before their new baby arrives.

Madge was elected Senator for District 12 before she and Rye even left the Capitol after the war. President Paylor decided to have one Senator elected from each District, with amendments written into the new Constitution to have additional Senators elected once the population grew to a certain point. The Senate meets for one week each month in the Capitol. At first Rye went with Madge on her Capitol trips, mainly to watch over Graham after he was born. After Rye took over as Head Peace Officer they hired eighteen-year old Sara as a nanny for Graham and to accompany them to the Capitol as needed. Sara, who used to live not too far from Katniss growing up, is absolutely wonderful with Graham, treating him like he's her own child. Most of her family was killed in the bombing, including her older sister Tala.

I check to make sure the ovens are turned off before locking the office and the back door. Through the back window I can see the scatter of footprints in the late winter snow covering the backyard. It looks like Katniss kept the boys busy this afternoon. I know she was teaching them how to shoot for awhile with Sage's new bow and arrow set. Sage even got a bullseye on one of his shots.

Turning off the downstairs lights, I clomp up the stairs and into the living room. I find Sage and Graham sitting on the floor in front of the couch, watching their favorite frog puppet sing about rainbows on the television. Various toys are strewn about the living room, with the train set riding right up to the new play kitchen that's almost an exact replica of the kitchen down in the bakery. There's a fire crackling in the fireplace and the table in the kitchen is set for dinner, the delicious smells permeating the room and mixing with the fading smell of baking bread from downstairs. But where is Katniss?

"Hey boys," I say as I crouch down to give them both a hug. At first glance the two cousins could be twins they look so much alike, with the only differences being Sage's slightly darker skin and his piercing grey eyes. From behind though, the two blond curly heads look nearly identical. "You both behaving up here?"

"Uh huh," Graham answers. "Sage was showed me his new toys this day!"

Sage celebrated his fourth birthday a week ago, and true to form, Effie sent him enough toys for three little boys. Katniss at least had the foresight to hide several of them before he saw them, saying that she would donate them to the new community home since between Effie, her mother and Prim, Johanna, Hazelle, and Rye and Madge, Sage received more than his fair share of birthday gifts.

"Oh that was very nice of you, little guy," I say to my son, squashing him against me and kissing his cheek.

"Daddy," he admonishes. "I not a wittle guy anymore. I is a big boy now."

I chuckle, kissing his still-chubby cheek again. "Okay then, big boy. Where's your momma?"

"Her in da bathroom," Sage answers, turning back to the television.

"Yes!" Graham adds. "Her said her had to go pot-ty."

"Ah, okay," I say with a smile, reaching up to turn off the television over the boys' protests. "Let's get you two big boys over to wash your hands before we eat while I go find Sage's momma."

"Okay," Sage says. "Is Gaham going to stay in my woom tonight?"

"Yes, he's staying for two whole nights this time," I remind him as I walk down the short hallway to our bedroom, expecting to run into Katniss on her way out. When she doesn't appear I continue on into the bathroom and find her sitting on the floor next to the toilet, fast asleep with her head leaning against the bathtub. After I recover from the initial shock of finding my wife unconscious on the bathroom floor, I crouch down to pick her up, carrying her to the bed so she can finish her nap in a more comfortable place. This isn't the first time she's fallen asleep in an odd place during this pregnancy. Neither of us were prepared for how much nausea and fatigue she would feel this time around, and dinnertime seems to be the worst time of day for both of those things.

Sage and Graham are sitting at the table when I return to the kitchen. "It's just us for dinner tonight," I tell them. "Sage's mommy is taking a nap for a little while."

Graham nods, like he understands. "Babies make mommies tired. My mommy told me dat."

We're just finishing up our cookies for dessert when Katniss stumbles into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes and looking confused. "Did I miss dinner?"

"No," I say, jumping up to serve her some stew and cheese buns, along with the special ginger drink her mother sent us from District 4. "See? It's still warm."

"Do you feel better now, Auntie Kitty?" Graham asks.

Katniss nods, gulping down half of the ginger drink before taking a bite of a cheese bun. "I'm sorry," she says between bites. "I don't know why it hits me so hard right at dinnertime."

"You're growing a human," I say, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek and earning snickers from the two little boys still seated at the table. "Your mom said it's like running for over twenty miles every day in the beginning. I'd be worried if you weren't exhausted." I turn to my son and nephew, still sitting politely at the table. "And you two are excused now. Why don't you clean up the trains before bedtime, okay? That would help us out a lot."

Katniss smiles at me and my heart leaps. After everything we went through, including what that doctor in Thirteen tried to do to Sage after he was born, I wasn't sure if she'd ever want any more children. She seemed very content with Sage, especially once she felt he was old enough to leave with me a couple mornings a week so she could go hunting. I didn't ask her to have another baby and she never brought it up, so I was both surprised and overjoyed when she told me she was going to skip her birth control shot last June. It took a few months for her cycle to regulate, but then, on the night of the Winter Solstice and after Sage was asleep, she went and used the test her mother sent her. She was already almost three weeks late and had started to feel nauseous and tired, so the test was more of a confirmation than a surprise. But it was still very, very welcome.

"We were playing outside a lot today," she says as she finishes her food. "The boys still need a bath, and we probably need some more firewood, and-"

I cut her off with a lingering kiss, hearing the sound of giggles behind me. "Tell you what. After we do the dishes, I'll get the boys to help with the firewood while you run their bath." I pause for a second. "Then after they're in bed, maybe we can do that new test your mother sent?"

Katniss looks down at her stomach, already starting to round out a little. "Are you sure you want to find out this early?"

I lean in for another kiss. "You know it doesn't matter to me. I just think it sounds fun. Besides, this way if the baby's a girl, we'll have more time to convince Sage that girls aren't as icky as he thinks they are."

Katniss giggles as she nods. I kiss her one final time before getting up from the table and gathering up the used dishes. Once they're washed and dried I call to the boys to put on their jackets and boots. "C'mon boys, we need to go get some more firewood from the back shed before your bath."

As I follow Sage and Graham out to the shed I shake my head. In reality, the thought that I could actually have a daughter seems so remote that I wonder why we're even bothering with the test. Rye told me when he and Madge found out their second baby was another boy that there hasn't been a girl Mellark born in at least three generations. I wonder if my mother was aware of that little tidbit when she married my dad.

After the firewood is replenished and the boys are bathed and tucked into their little beds, Katniss and I retreat to the bedroom. We open the test package and read the directions. It apparently works like the regular pregnancy tests, only with a pink line appearing for a girl and a blue one for a boy. Mrs. Everdeen sent it to us once we told her about the pregnancy, saying that it was a brand new test that Prim had helped develop as part of her schooling.

Katniss takes the test into the bathroom as I sit down on the bed, kicking off my shoes and absentmindedly rubbing my leg where the flesh meets my prosthesis. Katniss emerges a couple minutes later with the stick in her hand and her eyes wide.

"Peeta," she says. "It's pink. There's a pink line."

I gape at her in disbelief. "Are... are you sure?"

She nods and shows me the test with the bright pink line. "See? We're having a girl!"

"Oh Katniss!" I exclaim, the tears streaking down my face before I can stop them. "I can't believe it!" I reach for her and pull her to me, wrapping my arms around her as she buries her face into my neck. "Thank you so much for this wonderful gift!"

Katniss looks at me and smiles, that special smile that only I ever see. "I'm pretty sure you had more to do with it than I did," she says, reaching her thumb up to rub my cheekbone. "You're happy?"

I maneuver her down onto the bed and kiss her, a deep, sensual kiss. "Yes," I whisper when we break apart. "I would've been just as happy with another boy, you know that. But I love the idea of having a daughter too. A little mini-Katniss." I give her another kiss. "Are you happy?"

"Mmmhmm," she replies. "Although she's going to be so spoiled with all these boys around. Sage and Graham and Cedar, and Graham's new little brother. Even Finnick and Annie are having another boy in a few months."

"That means she'll have plenty of people watching out for her," I say. "And with you as her mother, I'm sure she'll be able to hold her own with all those boys."

Katniss nods, smiling even wider. Then she slides her small hands underneath my t-shirt and rakes her nails gently up my back, making me shiver. "Peeta," she whispers. "I know you have to get up early tomorrow, but... I was wanting..."

I slide my fingers between her shirt and the waistband of her pants, feeling the soft skin of her belly that will soon swell with our baby girl. "Say no more," I murmur, leaning down to cover her lips with my own.

I have absolutely no complaints about our sex life. Sometimes it's difficult with how busy we are and a small child around to find the time that we want to devote to each other, but we make it work. But during times like this, after the bakery is closed and Sage is asleep and I have my wife lying beneath me, our bodies and souls intertwined, time seems to pause for awhile. And I take advantage of every single second.

Afterwards, once Katniss falls asleep, I find that I can't. My mind is swirling with so many things as I study my wife's beautiful body in the moonlight. Our lives aren't perfect. The scars left behind from the Hunger Games and the war, both physical and otherwise, still run deep through us both. One of the first times Katniss went hunting after Sage weaned, a thunderstorm appeared seemingly out of nowhere. As soon as I saw the first crack of lightning streak across the sky I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I left Asher to run the bakery and dropped Sage off with Johanna and Hazelle, grabbing Haymitch to help me find Katniss in the forest. It took us over two hours to find her, and by the time we did she was almost catatonic. She was stuck up in a small clump of trees, freezing cold and clutching her bow to her chest, absolutely refusing to move or even respond to me. Since neither Haymitch nor I could climb the trees well enough in the pouring rain, Haymitch had to go and fetch Thom and some rope to help us get her down.

Then, several months later, Sage accidentally rolled off his bed in the middle of the night, biting through part of his lower lip. Katniss and I stumbled into his room to find him screaming in pain with his mouth and hands all covered in blood. Katniss picked him up and handed him to me, telling me that she was going to get a washcloth so she could clean him up and asses the damage. But before she could leave the room, I grabbed onto her arm and wouldn't let go. Fear that my son was going to die gripped me so tight there was no way I could allow her to leave, even after Katniss reassured me that it was only a cut. She ended up having to pry my fingers from her wrist and call Rye over to help me through the worst panic attack I'd had in a long time while she cleaned and stitched up Sage's lip. After that, it was a couple weeks before I felt comfortable enough letting him sleep in his own bed again.

I end up staying awake almost the entire night, watching over Katniss while she sleeps. Just like I did in the arena when she was up in the tree, surrounded by the Career pack. Just like I did during the Quell after she fought off the mutt monkeys. And just like I did after Sage was born and she almost hemorrhaged to death. I tighten my arm around her and kiss her shoulder. Those days are behind us now, but I still feel very protective of her, and she of me. And I don't think that will ever go away.

Willow is born in our apartment over the bakery on a very warm day towards the end of summer. Mrs. Everdeen and Prim arrive from District 4 a week before to help us prepare for the birth, setting up a special birthing tub in our bedroom. The labor is short but intense. Mrs. Everdeen has me just as involved as I was with Sage's birth, and even allows me to catch Willow as she is born. Our baby girl is born with a head full of dark hair and the most intense blue eyes I've ever seen, and everyone who sees her falls instantly in love with her. Especially her big brother, who loves to give her what he calls 'squishy hugs'.

_**Almost four years later...** _

Our children all play in the Meadow. Sage and Willow, Graham and Dagan, and Johanna's son Cedar, who looks so much like Gale but with paler skin and brown eyes. They take turns picking handfuls of dandelions and presenting them to their mothers. They make up songs and dances, none of which have anything to do with revolution, or the Hunger Games, or the war. Plutarch says that we're in that sweet period now where everyone agrees that our recent horrors should never be repeated, but I'm hoping it'll stick this time. That maybe we've evolved enough as human beings to understand that we're much better off when we all get along. The Hunger Games are no more. The arenas have all been destroyed and the memorials built. But they teach about them in school, and Sage, Graham, and Cedar all know that we played a part in them. The younger children will know in a few years. I don't want my children to be scared of the future, but at the same time I want them to know how much was sacrificed for them, so they could live free. And also so they know how it should never be repeated.

Katniss snuggles closer to me on our picnic blanket, her hair tickling my arm as I run my palm over her stomach, rounded out with our second boy who is due in a couple months. There are still some bad days. Nights where I wake up covered in sweat and gasping for breath, only able to calm down again after I've checked on my sleeping son and daughter. Katniss still wakes up screaming sometimes, frantically checking my body for lash marks and broken bones. We still play the real or not real game. And the children don't know that they all play on a graveyard.

But our country is safe. Our family is safe. We are safe. And we love each other. And above everything else, that's really all that matters.

 

**THE END**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end! I'm a little sad to see it end, I will miss writing this story. I cannot thank you all enough for the wonderful comments that you left for me. I am very humbled by how well my stories have been received. I have cherished each and every comment!
> 
> I have begun work on a new story that I hope to start posting here by the end of the month. It's a modern AU on a topic I haven't seen done before, so I'm both excited and nervous for it. ;). I hope you will all check it out! ❤️
> 
> And come say hi to me on tumblr! I'd love to hear from you!


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